By the end of the day
by evil minded
Summary: AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or for the worse - life simply unfolds itself - will it unfold itself for the better for one small child called Harry Potter? Will time repeat itself just the other way round? thanks for reading ...
1. just one more day

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

June, 06th 2011**  
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**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading ...

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit to play with them … uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it out after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – _I am_ …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter one **

**Prologue**** – just one more day**

**July, 31****st**** 1980 – Amity Manor – 08:14 pm**

By the end of the day everything had changed. By the end of the day his life seemed to crumble at his feet. By the end of the day – he was sitting in an armchair near the fireplace in the large parlour at Amity Manor, bent forwards, his elbows on his thighs and his head rested in his hands, crying for the first time since he had been a child.

By the end of the day he had lost all that had been dear to him.

He definitely was not a kind man – and surely not a kind teacher either. He was a person that expected respect and obedience and he was a person that displayed the dignity he had been taught by his father.

His father.

His father had been the strangest man he ever had known.

He had been kind and gentle – yet, he knew that the man could be right out dangerous, knew that the man had killed without hesitation. He had been intelligent and sharp witted – yet he had seen the man acting as if he were a small child, silly and foolish – not to mention idiotic sometimes. He had been brave and courageous – yet, he knew that his father had been afraid of many things, that he had not trusted easily. He had been a stubborn man with great dignity – yet, he had seen him crying bitter tears in front of him, had seen him laughing until he had lain at the floor, about things that hadn't been funny at all. He had been powerful in his magic – yet, he never had shown it outside of battle, his entire childhood he hadn't known _how_ powerful the man had been. Only when he had been older had he witnessed him fighting.

He had been strong and erect – yet, _he_ soon had outgrown the much smaller and slender man, at the latest when he had been thirteen or fourteen, much to the man's annoyance. He had been polite and civil – yet, he had been so casual and informal at the same time. He had been warm and caring, always worrying – yet, he had been so cold sometimes just as well. He had been calm and peaceful – yet, he had been nervous, restless, tense, while being relaxed at the same time.

He had been such an open man – yet, he had been so closed up at the same time, mysterious even. No one knew where he had come from – aside from Albus maybe, but the headmaster never had given any information away. Janos Amity simply had been there one day, had appeared out of nowhere. He simply had been there one day and he had taken him from his abusive biological father who had killed his mother when he had been three years old.

Yes, his father had been a walking contradiction – yet, he never had cared. His father had loved him with all his heart, he knew, and he had loved his father back equally.

If he had him here just one more day.

But he had known that the man would die. He had known it since nine months. The man had kept his dignity and his pride, his strength and his sharp wit, his sarcasm and his courage until the end, until this very day, but during the past nine months he had seen him dying, had seen him getting more and more tired, exhausted, weaker – had watched him … simply dying.

They had lived at Amity Manor for long years, since he was about five, but when it had been clear that the unknown illness his father had suffered from would lead to his death, that he would die, he had asked him to come to Hogwarts so he was near, so he could care for him, so … so he simply was there.

He had feared that he would have to fight with the stubborn man over this, that he would have to use all his Slytherin traits to get the stubborn and independent man to really leave his Manor and come to Hogwarts. But again – like so often – he had been surprised by his father. The man had smiled at him, the green eyes shining with something he never had seen in them before, and he had said … he had said that he would be glad to come back to his only home he'd ever had.

He hadn't understood the man's words, until he had watched his father the moment he had come back to Hogwarts.

Of course Janos Amity had been to Hogwarts before, when he had been a student here, when _he, Severus_, had been a student here, and later again when the man had been a teacher here.

Despite his tears he couldn't help laughing at the memories for a moment.

His father always had been so impatient, unable to wait until he, Severus, got to Kings Cross with the Hogwarts Express for the holidays like all the other students and he always had come to Hogwarts, getting him home personally. And he always had been unable to release him early so he could ride the train to Hogwarts after the break but brought him to school in the evening personally.

Some of the other children had teased him with this, none of the other parents had acted like this, so overprotective, so clingy and so like a mother-hen. But one – Severus the child never had cared about it, because he had felt safe, loved and wanted by his father's antics, second – Severus the man _still_ felt cared for, loved and wanted by the memories of his overprotective father's antics, and third – most of them soon had stopped their teasing anyway when they had seen the man together with Albus Dumbledore, chatting lightly, laughing and joking with the headmaster, calling the older wizard by his given name, calling him an old fool even and teasing him. And the rest of them had stopped their teasing the moment Janos Amity had entered the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom at the beginning of their second year.

And yes – his father had loved Dumbledore too, just like he in return had been loved by the headmaster as well and whenever he had come to Hogwarts to get his son for the holidays, or to bring him after the break, he had always had a chat with the old wizard before or after.

He didn't remember much of the beginning. He knew that everything had been a hassle.

His father – his biological father – had been drunk one day, again, and he had killed his mother in his drunken state. He had been there, and he had seen it, he didn't remember the entire event, he only had been three after all, but parts of it. He remembered his fear, he remembered the whiskey bottle laying at the floor beside his mother's bleeding form … he remembered Tobias Snape approaching him, another bottle in his hand … he remembered a force of something that had blasted his father away from him, against the opposite wall, something he now knew had been a very, _very_ powerful blasting course … and he remembered the strange boy kneeling beside him … taking him away from that place.

He still wasn't sure if his father really had been a young man of age like he had pretended back then. He knew that at the ministry, at the office of child welfare, he had said he was of age, but he remembered his father's face back then, the moment he slowly had reached out for him, had taken him into his arms and had carried him out of that house. He still remembered that moment the clearest, knew that this particular moment was one he never ever again in his entire life would forget, and he still remembered how young his father had looked, rather like a child himself than like a young man.

But however old his father really had been, he had adopted him the very same day. It had been a bit of a problem, Albus and his father had told him one day when he had been older, during one of their many chats. And not because the ministry didn't believe his age, but because his father had possessed nothing aside from the clothes he had worn, a small pouch with a bit of wizarding money and his wand. An unregistered wand, no less. He'd had no home, no job, not even a known name or past. There hadn't been a school record, no medical record or anything else.

But Albus Dumbledore had been there too, at the Ministry, this particular day, and he had taken matters in his own hand, had taken them both to Hogwarts where Janos had finished his NEWTs.

This chat had been one of the many times when Severus had asked his father where exactly he had come from, had asked him about his past as he knew nothing of the man from before he had taken him as his son, but Janos only had smirked at him wordlessly while Albus had chuckled, neither of the two men revealing anything more to him.

Well, they had lived at Hogwarts, back then after Janos had adopted him, and he remembered that his father had studied a lot, and that he often had been ill. Well, he didn't remember _that_ exactly, but he remembered that Albus often had been worried, as had been Minerva and Poppy. And he as well still remembered that he sometimes had been with the headmaster or the Gryffindor head of house when Janos had been ill.

He still didn't know what exactly had happened to his father.

Well – that was not entirely true, he _did_ know, part of it at least. He for example knew that he had been abused, that much was clear. Janos Amity was his father after all and he had seen the man without a shirt more than once, and he had seen all the scars that littered the thin body, scars that had been deep and scars that had overlain others, layers of scars. And while as a small child he had been oblivious to them, as a teenager he had started to ask questions.

When he had asked for the first time, bluntly, his father had been startled, had looked at him nearly frightened, and for a moment he had looked as if he would storm out of the room, as if he would blast something apart – or rather someone. But then he had sighed and he had lowered his head.

"There are things in my life I do not wish to share, Severus." He seriously had said. Then he had put on his shirt and for a long time he had refused to change in front of him, had left the room for doing so. Severus had felt bad about his questions, had blamed himself for making his father feeling uncomfortable, but the moment the older wizard had realized how he had felt, how downcast he was, he had taken him aside. He had been sitting down into the chair behind his desk and he had pulled him close until he had been standing between the man's knees, his father's hands holding his wrists, like he so often had done.

"While I do not wish to share those particular things with you, child, it neither does mean that I would be angry with you for asking questions, nor that I would love you less." He had said. "It simply is too personal for me to share it with you. You will have to respect this, as I will have to respect that you won't share everything with me the moment you become older. Every human being has the right of privacy and this _is_ private. Too private to share it with _anyone_."

He had accepted his father's answer and a few weeks later it had been forgotten and Janos had been back to not caring if he, Severus, saw him without a shirt, saw his scars. Later, when he had become older, he had watched the scars closer, sometimes unable to keep himself from narrowing his eyes at them, earning a lifted eyebrow from his father for it, and soon he had realized what had caused them, what had caused those scars.

His father had been beaten. And he had been beaten badly.

And from that moment on he couldn't help getting angry whenever he had seen those scars. He never ever again had asked him about them, had respected his father's privacy, but he never had stopped wondering. And over the years he had learned from unthought comments – as rare as they had been – and from nightmares he got his father out of in the middle of the night sometimes, that the man had been abused by his uncle for years and years before fighting in a dangerous war.

He had tried to find out about Janos Amity's family, his uncle especially, a man called Vernon, but in the end he was sure that the man had been a muggle as there had been no wizard by that name. The name Vernon Amity didn't exist in the wizarding world – nor in the muggle world. Regrettably – he would have liked paying this great-uncle of his a visit.

Later – just recently actually – he had become a Potions Master, and as one couldn't become a Potions Master without an education in the arts of healing, he again had learned something new about his father, something the older man had never shared a hint about with him, like with his scars. He had learned that his father was not simply slender, but that he was skinny and definitely too small, and the healer in him had started to turn his wheels within his head.

His father often had been ill when he had been younger, and he often had noticed him wincing during the past years, when he had moved the wrong way or too quickly – or without thinking. And he often had noticed that his father had been eating too little, that he even often had simply been sitting beside him, just watching him eating without doing so himself, that he even sometimes simply had forgotten to eat. He always had ensured that he, Severus, had regular meals and that he could eat as much as he needed and wanted, but he himself had been careless about his own eating habits – and his sleeping habits, by the way.

And still, after years, he had been skinny, too thin, and suddenly he had realized that his father not only had been abused, but that he had been neglected, starved, to a point where his growth had been affected just as well. And this realization had made him just as angry as had the scars he had seen on his father's body. But still – he didn't know how to find this great-uncle of his.

What he also knew about his father, was that he had been fighting in a war and he had tried to find out which war his father had fought in, but that had been just as unsuccessful as his search for any family member of his father. He wasn't an expert when it came to history of magic, but he had researched books over books and then even more books, without success. For a fleeting moment he even had considered a muggle war – yet, he had known his father. And he meanwhile had known his magical powers, and somehow he just _had known_ that it had not been a muggle war, but a wizarding one.

And he also had known that it was not something that was just told, stories to tell a child while sitting beside the fireplace, comments that were made in a moment of imagination or simple nightmares about something that was just ridiculous. No, it had been something that had been real. And that together with the fact that he never had learned anything about his father's family, that the man had been as strange as he actually _had_ been, together with the fact that the man sometimes even had seemed to have lived a life in a different time – somehow he sometimes wondered if Janos Amity maybe – just _maybe_, mind you – _had_ come from another time.

But even if – he wouldn't have cared, because he had loved that man like he never had loved someone else – except Lily maybe. But Lily, he had loved in a different way. With Lily he'd had a complete different relationship than he'd had with his father, of course.

Lily.

He had loved Lily deeply. And Lily had loved him back – for some time. But then … well …

When Lily had ended their relationship he had been deeply depressed, but when Lily had started to date Potter, he had started to become bitter and harsh. Well, he always had been a harsh man.

Janos Amity had been a harsh man and as kind and gentle, and friendly as he always had been towards him, Severus, he had been harsh and tough to others and he, Severus, had become a similar man. Not as harsh and tough as his father had been, but not as … well … _soft_ as the Weasleys for example, or others were. And he was sure that without his father taking him away from Tobias Snape and being there for him after Lily had started dating with Potter, he would have become a really bitter man, not only a bit harsh and tough, demanding, but really bitter and dark.

But his father had been there for him, always. And his father had helped him to move on, never mind what.

Again the knot in his chest, in his stomach, in his throat threatened to overwhelm him and again he hitched a breath, a sob making its way to escape, but he didn't mind the tears that started to fall anew. Not here at Amity Manor, and not for the reason of his father having died just an hour ago.

"Severus?" The soft voice of Albus Dumbledore startled him out of his misery and he looked up at the older wizard, at the headmaster. He hadn't even heard the fire flaring when Albus had come through, but still he didn't mind. "I know that it is the most improper time to ask this of you, Severus, but Lily is about to deliver and there are complications. I would ask Poppy, but …"

Without answering, just giving the older wizard a curt nod, he got off his armchair.

Yes, he was miserable, not simply mourning, but right out miserable. His father, the one person that had loved him unconditionally, always, never mind what he had done, the one person he had loved back just as much, the one person he had trusted without question, the one person he would have died for, the one person … his father had died just an hour ago.

But he still loved Lily too, and he never would have risked her life over his misery. He would not risk this, and neither would have his father risked this, nor would he have wanted him to risk this.

Taking his emergency potions kit without any comment he gave a court nod at Albus and then stepped into the floo, stepping through to the Potter Estate.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st**** 1980 – Potter Estate – 10:14 pm**

Holding the small and fragile body of Harry James Potter in his arms he approached the bed Lily lay in, his face unreadable, a mask he had schooled over the years behind which he hid his emotions as well as his father always had done and at the thought of the man his chest clenched painfully again.

The reason however as to why he had his mask in place right now was not the thought of his now dead father, but the fact that – yet again – James Potter had proven what an useless imbecile he was. When he had come to the Potter Estate an hour ago, there had been no James Potter around and he had frowned, asking Albus where Lily's husband was.

The headmaster's face had become dark and disappointed at the question and Severus hadn't needed an answer anymore, knowing that – again – the man had gone out with Black, that _again_ he had abandoned his wife, even in such a situation. Albus had told him that Potter had been there, shortly, that he had informed him about his wife being about to deliver their child, but Potter – apparently – had looked at him with a sneer on his face and then had left, leaving his wife and his unborn son to the headmaster's hands.

Albus hadn't told him how disappointed he was in Potter – or in Black for that matter – but Severus had known this nevertheless, one gaze into the headmaster's tired face had been enough and he had known.

Lily had not awakened yet and he knew that it would take another hour for the young woman to regain consciousness, he knew his potions well after all, he himself had brewed them, after all.

He had given her a strong sleeping potion when it had been clear that natural delivery wouldn't be possible, that they would have to get the child with a surgery and for a moment he had been close to panicking. But then he had closed his eyes and he had imagined his father's face, had imagined his father's voice, his calmness and his reassuring eyes, and then he had taken a deep breath and he had done what had been necessary.

And so right now he was holding the quiet child in his arms, wrapped into a soft blanket after bathing the little creature, unable to keep his own dark eyes from the green ones that watched him with a trust and with a calmness that robbed him off his breath, that made his heart clench painfully, that caused his fingers to tremble, and that reminded him of his father, of Janos Amity.

Oblivious to his own actions he ran his thumb over the small face of the infant he was holding, ran his thumb over the soft skin of the small nose, directly between the child's eyes, while the tiny fingers of the child grasped the thumb of his other hand, barely able to enclose the much larger finger and he looked down, frowning.

How could this small child, this boy, being alive in this world since barely an hour, displaying so much trust and calmness already? How could this small child, this boy, being able to unsettle him so completely that he felt his world turning upside down in a matter of moments only? How could this small child tuck at his heart so strongly while being Lily's son when he at the same time wanted nothing else than simply placing it into the empty crib beside the woman's bed when he thought of the boy being Potter's son?

Watching the child's wrinkled face screwing up in its sleep, the tip of the small tongue slowly sticking out for a moment as if to shove something out of the small mouth his frown deepened.

If only this child were not James Potter's son. If only …

Closing his eyes he growled at himself. 'What ifs' would not get him anywhere, and he knew it. 'What ifs' only would hurt him more, and he knew this as well. It does no good to linger at 'what ifs', his father had said often enough to him, accept things as they are and do not linger at 'what ifs', because it will not get you anywhere. And this child was James Potter's son. He had Lily's eyes, yes, and for a moment he couldn't help smiling at the thought, but he already had Potter's unruly mop of black hair.

Well, not as unruly as Potter's had been, he had to admit, but he knew that it was due only to the fact that the thin and soft baby hair was not able to be so unruly. But it was black and he knew that it would be an unruly mop one day. And knowing Potter, he would spoil and raise the child as a bully like he himself had been one.

And nevertheless, still his thumb ran over the soft skin between the small child's eyes, unconsciously, betraying his thoughts, causing the child to close its eyes and to fall asleep in his arm, while he, Severus, waited for Lily to wake up and to wrap her newborn son into her arms.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st**** 1980 – Hogwarts, headmaster's office – 11:14 pm**

Severus was still at the Potter Estate, looking after Lily and little Harry as James still had not returned from his – outing with Black, and he knew how much it pained the man being there right now. He had seen the ever so stoic man nearly losing his self-control when the small child had opened his eyes for the first time, had looked at the man and he could understand. He could understand, because _he_ had seen it too, the child's eyes, the green eyes that had looked at the Potions Master with such an amount of trust and with such calmness – it simply had been breathtaking.

It surely would not have been as breathtaking, had the child not have had those green eyes, the same green eyes as had his mother, Lily, Severus still loved so deeply, the same green eyes as Janos Amity had had. And it surely would not have been as breathtaking, had it not have been just two hours after Janos Amity had died that this child looked up at Severus with those same green eyes, with the same trust and calmness Severus' father always had displayed in his green eyes towards his son. And it surely would not have been as breathtaking if the love between Severus and his father had not been as deep as it had been.

And he knew how deep this love had been.

He had been there from the beginning, from the moment Janos Amity had appeared out of nowhere, until the end, until the man had died and only now … just a few days ago he had learned that Janos always had known that he would die, that he even had known the _exact day_ he would die.

He couldn't help shuddering at the thought and with a nearly strangled sob he looked over at the painting on the wall to his right, beside the fireplace, at the painting of the man he was thinking about right now, the only painting in his office that was not a former headmaster of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry but a friend, before he buried his face into his hand.

"You still have not trusted us, Janos." He whispered into his hands. "After all those years and despite all the love we gave you, you still have not trusted us, not completely, not as you ought to."

He lifted his head and looked up at the painting again, but there was no answer, the raven haired man only sitting in his armchair near the fireplace at Amity Manor, sleeping, and he knew that there would be no answer. Not now. Not before he had rested enough from a tiring and strenuous experience, and again Albus dropped his head into his hands.

It had taken him seventeen years and two months to finally find out more, to finally realize what exactly had happened the night Janos had so suddenly appeared, from May, 14th 1963 until July, 21st 1980, ten days before the young man had died with … what? With barely thirty-five years as he had made them all believe? Or with thirty-three years as he really had been? He didn't know, but he didn't know so much these days.

Yes, he knew more right now, after he'd had a long and – for Janos at least – tiring conversation ten days ago, but there still was so much he didn't know. He still didn't know the why. For a moment he thought he had known the why. It had been clear from the very beginning on that the young Janos Amity had lived a very harsh life, that he had been abused in the most cruel way imaginable, and for a moment, when he thought about the love between the young man and his son, Severus Snape, he had known the why, but Janos had only shaken his head and had told him that the contrary had been the case. Not love, but dislike – and yet respect for a brave man.

And so – no, he still didn't know the why. And he never would find out.

If he just could have told Severus. About the day Janos would die. The man that had been so miserable these days maybe could have prepared himself. Severus never had shown Janos how miserable he was, but he was sure that Janos had known nevertheless. The young wizard had known his son like he had known himself after all.

And about anything else he had learned that day, ten days ago, it maybe would make Severus feeling better. But Janos had made him promise that he wouldn't, had even demanded a wizard's oath of him. Not an unbreakable vow, Janos Amity never would have done _that_, but a wizard's oath he had demanded and he, Albus had given it, even if he hadn't understood why Janos had been so persistent with this, why he didn't want Severus to know, Janos had right out refused to tell him without a wizard's oath.

Of course he had tried to find out more throughout the years, had searched wizarding family books in the hope he would stumble over the name of Amity, but if he had been honest with himself, then he had known from the beginning that Janos had made his name up. And he definitely now knew the reason as to why – even if he had to admit, he had had his speculations for some time yet, for some years. This child simply was too strange.

But never mind what, never mind that the child had lied to him – and he had known that the boy had never had any other chance than lying about that – never mind that the child had been so strange, had come out of nowhere, he had loved the boy as deeply as if he were his own. And … somehow they had _been_ a family. Somehow not only he had loved the boy like a son, but he knew that Janos had loved him back just as much.

"You are my elder, Albus, and so I will respect your opinion on this." The boy one day had said. "But as I am of age, you are in no condition to enunciate a forbiddance. I have fought before, Albus, and I am still alive, and I will not sit back now and watch while people die again."

Yes, Janos had respected him as his elder.

If he just had trusted him as much as he had respected him, if he just had told him everything from the beginning on, maybe then they would have found a solution throughout the years, maybe then Severs wouldn't have lost his father today. But ten days – how could he have found a solution in ten days only? It had been impossible and he had told the young wizard. But Janos had only shaken his head, looking at him sadly.

"We all have our destination, Albus, and we all have a day when we will have to die." He had said. "I not only had the luck to know the day at which I would die, and to know that my death will not be needless, but I also had the luck to have a few very, very happy years despite my fears and knowledge. Do not try to find a solution for something that is beyond answers. I have lived on burrowed time anyway, I should have died long years ago, but fate, for once, had been kind and I do not regret one day of my life here with all of you. Do not question this same fate that had given me a second chance to make things right for once, please."

And so he hadn't.

He had wanted to scold the boy for his self-blaming, whatever he _had_ blamed himself for, but he had not had the heart doing this, not with the knowledge that the boy would die in ten days, that he was tired and exhausted, barely able to keep awake any longer, and so he had allowed the young man to close his eyes and to fall asleep on the sofa in his office.

_"__Do not question this same fate that had given me a second chance to make things right for once, please."_

He was sure that he never ever again would forget this particular sentence, knowing what it held. Since he had known that young man, he had known that there had been some things Janos had blamed himself for, and yet – he somehow always had known that he should not, that the child had no reason to blame himself. The child had killed, yes, but he had been in a war. And war never went without bringing death and destruction.

He of course had taken the young man to Poppy the moment they had entered the castle, back then, 1963, at a sunny day in the beginning of August, and the diagnostic the medi witch had made had been horrendous. It had been clear that the boy had been abused for years, but it also had been clear that he had fought. And it had been clear that he had fought for life, as well as it had been clear that he had fought more than one attacker and for a very long time. The child simply had fought in a battle, had fought in a war.

Of course he had checked the boy's wand back then, and of course he had found out about the use of unforgivables. The child had killed.

But he had not been stupid enough to judge the child by this, considering the state the boy had been in, and coming to the conclusion that the child had fought in a war – it was not so strange that he had killed. It had been sad, yes. It had been startling, yes, that too. But it had not been too strange.

"If I only could have done more." He murmured into his hands, looking up at the painting of the young man again. But still, Janos Amity slept on in his armchair. "But in the end you have been right, my boy, your death has not been needless and your son has seen to it."

Because by the end of the day, exactly two hours after Janos Amity had died, fourteen minutes past nine o'clock in the evening, Harry Potter had been born.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in ****By the end of the day**

_July, 31__st__ 1981 – Janos Amity's first anniversary of death and Severus reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	2. he never had

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

July, 07th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_"If I only could have done more." He murmured into his hands, looking up at the painting of the young man again. But still, Janos Amity slept on in his armchair. "But in the end you have been right, my boy, your death has not been needless and your son has seen to it."_

_Because by the end of the day, exactly two hours after Janos Amity had died, fourteen minutes past nine o'clock in the evening, Harry Potter had been born._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter ****two **

**He never ****had ****…**

**July, 31****st**** 1981 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

It was exactly a year since his father had died and still Severus had not found back his freedom he'd had while his father, while Janos Amity had been around, while his father had been still alive.

Of course it hadn't been all sunshine and daisies, but whenever they had had a quarrel, his father never had beaten him, his father never had screamed at him and his father never had hurt him with words, only laying out the plain facts and it never had lasted for longer than an hour, none of them being able to be angry at the other for longer than that and in the end they always had found one solution or another and Severus knew that he could not have wished for a better father than the one he'd had.

Leaning back in his armchair he swirled the golden liquid in the tumbler, watched the flare of the dancing flames reflect themselves in the golden liquid and he took a deep breath to get his own emotions back under control. It wasn't that he intended on drinking himself senseless tonight. He never did. His father never had done so, and he too never did so.

But from time to time there were some days when a glass of whiskey was just welcomed, and today was one of those days.

Albus had asked if he should come with him today, when he had taken his leave until tomorrow evening to come here, to Amity Manor, to remember his father, to mourn his death and to … do whatever he thought would be important doing on this day. He didn't know yet. However, he had refused. He had wanted to be alone and he was glad that he had done so. This very day was for him and his father, and for them alone, never mind how close Albus and Janos had been as well.

"To you, dad." He whispered, lifting his glass in salute to the painting at the wall above the fireplace he was sitting in front of. "I still miss you."

"I know." The raven haired man in the painting answered, his voice serious and his green eyes sad. "And I am sorry that it happened, but that is something I simply cannot change, Severus."

"I know." The Potions Master said, looking up at the man. He knew that Janos Amity wasn't really alive in the picture, that nothing, not even magic, could bring the dead back, that it was a painting that had been given some of his father's personality and knowledge, nothing else.

Not every dead witch or wizard existed in such a magical painting as it was a very expensive piece or artwork and as there were few artists that were able to create those paintings in the first place. But Janos had seen to it that four of those paintings had been drawn. Two he had given his son, Severus, who had placed one at Amity Manor and one at Hogwarts in his quarters, one he had given his – father, for the lack of a better word, Albus, and one he had given his closest friend, Abraxas.

And so this painting had his father's voice, was able to look like his father used to look when being happy, when being sad or when being angry, when being deep in thought, but the painting didn't feel those things. It never would feel sad or happy or angry, or disappointed or anything else, in the end – it just was a painting.

But it was a painting that somehow eased his mind. The painting had the knowledge his father had had, and it had the wit his father had had – thanks to the fact at least that Janos had chosen the best of those artists for his paintings. And so – he still could talk to the man that had taken him away from a miserable life and had given him a happy childhood, love and care, safety.

**Flashback**

_"What is it, Severus?" His father asked the moment he was awake and had darted across the large bed towards the older wizard, now nearly sitting in his lap and he couldn't help sticking his thumb into his mouth. _

_"Hab deen de ban dad." __He mumbled around the thumb in his mouth, knowing that most likely his father wouldn't be able to understand him, yet – unwilling to pull it out, simply needing this comfort. _

_With a frown on his face his father pulled him even closer to his chest, making him feeling safe by the act and then he pulled his thumb out of his mouth. For a moment he screwed his face up at the loss of comfort his thumb in his mouth sometimes provided him with, but then he leaned his head against the strong shoulder of the man that held him._

_"Have seen the man, dad." He softly repeated._

_"He won't be able to hurt you ever again, Severus." His father said, running his hand up and down his back. "It has been a __bad dream only, he won't be able to hurt you ever again, I promise."_

**End flashback**

It had been always the same answer his father had given him. He never had told him what had become of Tobias Snape, and he, Severus, had never asked.

Only at one point during the last year, when he had looked through his father's papers after his death, he had found an article from a muggle newspaper in one of the drawers. A man had been killed at Spinner's End at October, 21st 1964, a drunk by the name of Tobias Snape, and it had been a gruesome murder. The police had wondered that none of the neighbours had heard the screams as it had been a clearly slow and painful death, the man covered in bruises and cuts, but the murderer had never been found.

He immediately had known that it had been his father who had killed Tobias Snape and he had shuddered at the reminder that – as kind and as gentle as his father always had been, he always had known that he was able to kill without hesitation and the way he had killed that man, it had been clear that he had revenged his son.

It had been another reminder of how overprotective the man had been of him, Severus. Just like back then, at Diagon Alley, when they had bought some of Severus' school supplies for his second term of his first year at Hogwarts that had run out and then had met James Potter.

**Flashback**

_"Look who's there." A taunting voice came from behind when he reached__ for a quill that would change the colour from black to green if he so wished and he scowled, recognizing the voice immediately. "Snivelly Snivellus. How have holidays been so far? Already been in training as a mini Death Eater?"_

_"What do you want, Potter?" He asked, turning to face the other boy._

_"From you?" Potter sneered. "There's nothing I could possibly want from you, Snivellus. You don't even have a father and I'm not interested in your mini Death Eater training. Just wanted to remind you to watch your back the moment you're back at Hogwarts. I __…"_

_"Yes, Mr. Potter?" He heard his father's voice coming from behind just the moment he felt a warm hand being placed on his shoulder and turning his head, looking up at his father, he nearly gasped himself. _

_The man looked so forbiddingly, his face a calm mask, the green eyes cold and piercing, as cold and piercing as his voice, and the black hair that fell into the man's face made him not looking any friendlier. Nor did the black robes he was wearing. His eyes never left the other boy who gulped and took a step backwards. _

_"Is there anything you would like to say, Mr. Potter?" His father asked, his voice still cold and harsh. "Or maybe there is something I should inform your parents about? I am sure your mother would be very pleased to hear about her son bullying other children in the shops? No? Then maybe your father would be proud that his son showed less manners than a gorilla, by calling other children names? No? Well, then pay close attention, Mr. Potter, because I am not used to repeat myself. If I ever again hear about you bullying my son, then be assured you won't get away so easily again. I am sure that your parents have taught you better, but if I learn that they have not, then be under no misconception and know that I immediately will contact and inform them of their son's behavior towards my son so that they can remedy their neglect in education at once. I do hope that I have made myself absolutely clear, Mr. Potter. Did – I make myself absolutely clear?"_

**End flashback**

Well, Potter had nodded and he still had to admit – it had been one of his best moments, his father being there, his father standing behind him, his father standing up for him. Again he had felt warm and safe and wanted and cared for, like so often, and Potter quickly had nodded at Janos Amity, had nodded nearly frantically enough, he had been sure the boy had a headache afterwards.

He had left him alone for a long time after that, nearly until the summer holidays, and he had been away and at home, together with his father then anyway, so he hadn't really cared.

Summer holidays as well as Christmas holidays at Amity Manor always had been great and he remembered that Abraxas had visited them with Lucius for a few days during Christmas, back in his first year at Hogwarts, like they always had done during Christmas, and it had been fun. He remembered that he had gotten the second and third year potions books back then, a large tomb that held each and every potions ingredient sorted in poisonous, nonpoisonous and healing categories, and he had gotten a special knife set and a chopping board for potions.

The knives, he even back then had known that they had been very expensive, but he also had known that they would last his life long if he handled them with care, what he always did, and they were sharper than the standard knives they usually used at school, but his father had decided that he was old enough and careful enough to handle them. And yes – he still had those particular knives, and he still used them.

The chopping board had been made of wood, just like the regular ones, but it had been darker, made of the wood from the olive tree and he had known that therefore it was harder and more robust than the regular chopping boards they were supplied with at school and that if he regularly lubricated it with oil, then it would last as long as would the knives.

Added to that his father had given him a book about the muggle period system of the elements and at first he hadn't known what to do with it, had looked at the older wizard questioningly, but the man only had shrugged, as if he himself hadn't known what for it could be useful. He however soon had found out that it not only had been quite interesting, but that it indeed helped with his potions as well. The elements in the book were not magical, but they could be used together with the magical elements nevertheless. Not to mention that it was quite useful to know some of the other things mentioned in this book.

When he had talked with his father later about it, the man only had smirked at him, as if he had known.

His father had brewed some potions himself throughout the years, even if he never had become a Potions Master, and even if he never had been good enough with them so he could live of them, but he had made some money with them from time to time and he never had interfered with his, Severus', ability in this area, had always supported him in his wish to become a Potions Master one day.

Of course there had been a time, at the end of his first year, when he had been unsure.

He remembered that he had been a very gentle child, not wanting to see any creature suffering or dying, and so he had been unsure in his first year after he had learned that actually animals had to be killed in order to get potions ingredients. And then there had been Potter again, telling him that being a Potions Master, killing animals and plants, working with slimy ingredients and getting his hair greasy by all those fumes surely never would be the ambition of a real pure blood who had to care about dignity, etiquette and elegance and that he only would shame his house, Slytherin, if he became a Potions Master.

It had gone so far that he had been so unsure, he had refused to come out of his dormitory, he had started missing classes as well as meals, just to avoid the other students – especially Potter, and he had been laying in his bed for hours, crying and simply feeling miserable.

**Flashback**

_What was his ability with potions worth for, if he couldn't become a Potions Master? What should he become if he couldn't become a Potions Master? He wasn't good at much. At least not as good as he was with potions. Of course he was good in __defense and in charms and in transfiguration too. His father had seen to that, had taught him some spells he had thought he would need at Hogwarts. Some shields and how to disarm someone, how to transfigure small objects and how to levitate or summon things. _

_And he had taught him what was behind magic, how to feel it, how to not use it by forcing it but by letting it flow through him, how to play with it rather than working with it. _

_Sobbing in pure frustration he turned around to face the wall. _

'_Dad is able to summon things without his wand even!' He thought. 'And he is able to cast a spell without saying the incantation too!' _

_He knew that he never would be that good. _

_He had heard his father and Abraxas talking one night during the Christmas holidays, when the tall and blond wizard had visited them together with Lucius. And afterwards he had been very confused. _

**Flashback within flashback**

_"Do you really think that Lord Voldemort will be that powerful one day, Janos?" Abraxas asked._

_"I am." His father answered. "What is the reason as to why I am so relieved that you have not entered the dark side."_

_"I take it that I did so where you came from?"_

_"Yes." Was the quiet reply, but somehow he could hear the words 'you, your son and your grandson' in his head. "So many had done, too many."_

_"Well, maybe there I did not have the friendship of a man as kind and as gentle as you." Abraxas said and he nearly could hear the smirk in the Slytherin's voice. _

_There wasn't an answer for some time, but then his father's voice sounded really sad._

_"Do not mistake me for a man I am not." His dad quietly said. "I am barely better than the Death Eaters are. I have killed, and I have tortured. I am not that kind man you all see in me."_

_"And yet – you never have done so without a good reason." _

_The only answer that came was a snort and he knew that his father was looking at Abraxas angrily._

_"You have been in a war, Janos." The man replied. "And in war, people die. You either kill your opponent or you get killed by him and I am glad that it was you that had survived instead of the Death Eaters you have fought. Besides – the only person you ever have tortured deserved it. I would not have acted otherwise."_

_"How do you know that he was the only one?" His father asked angrily._

_"Because I know you, Janos." Abraxas answered calmly. "However, if Lord Voldemort really is such a threat, then maybe we should get the Blacks to our side as well. They are a large family with a lot of influence in the wizarding world."_

_"I fear it is already too late for that." His father answered. "I do not fear for Sirius Black, and there might be hope for Narcissa Black as well if she is given a chance, but I can feel the darkness already radiating from Bellatrix Black, as young as she is and the older Black generations are already too deep within Tom's ranks."_

_"You can feel it?" Abraxas asked, his voice astonished._

_"Yes." His father simply answered. _

_"How?"_

_"I don't know, I just can."_

_"And Andromeda?" _

_"I do not fear for her either."_

**End flashback within flashback**

_He hadn't understood half of what had been said and before he could have heard more his father had called him into the parlor. He had known that he had been in trouble then, that his father knew that he had listened on their conversation, and so he had entered the parlor only reluctantly._

_Well, yes – he had been in trouble, but his father had not taken him over his knees as he had feared he would. He never had done that. Abraxas surely would have taken Lucius over his knees if he had listened on a private conversation. But he had been given an essay to write about privacy and about listening on conversations adults held in the middle of the night behind closed doors._

_But that didn't change the fact that his father had discovered him, even if he had been so quiet, and it didn't change the fact that he had heard about his father fighting in a war and having killed people. He didn't mind that, honestly, he knew that in a war people died and that in a war it is either killing or being killed, he was not stupid and he was no baby either. And he was glad that his father had been able to keep himself alive._

_But what he had overheard in that night … well, his father not only could use wandless magic, and his father not only could use magic without saying the spells aloud, but he also could feel magic and he had been a warrior. Had he learned all those things in the war he had been fighting in? Had he had to learn those things in order to survive that war he had been fighting in? What war had it been anyway? He didn't know of a war that had been fought recently and his father wasn't that old!_

_However, it definitely was n__o wonder his father was so harsh sometimes, he couldn't help thinking. And no wonder his father was so good when it came to defense and charms and transfiguration. _

_But he, Severus, wasn't! He was good at potions and …_

_"Professor Headmaster Dumbledore wishes to see young Master Snape in his office." The small house elf announced and startled he turned to look at the small creature. Merlin! He had been so deep in his thoughts he hadn't even heard the house elf's arrival and the small 'pop' that came with it. _

**End flashback**

With a small smile on his face – he was in private after all – he remembered that he, with a guilty heart, knowing that he was in trouble for missing classes, had gone to the headmaster's office, where he had found not only Albus, but his father as well, the man pacing the office and he had looked upset. The moment however he had entered the room the dark clad older wizard had turned and strode towards him, had taken him into his arms and despite the fact that he had been a twelve year old teenager, nearly as tall as his father had been, he had not objected to being carried towards one of the armchairs in front of Albus' desk and then placed on the man's lap, pulled into a tight embrace, where he couldn't help but crying again, sobbing into his father's shoulders.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st****, 1981 – Hogwarts, headmaster's office – 07:14 pm**

He had asked Severus if he should accompany him to Amity Manor, but Severus had refused immediately. Well, he somehow had known that the man would want to be alone on this particular day or he would not have asked for two days off when they had to prepare so much for the next school year and so he just had inclined his head, hoping that the man would be alright.

The year had not been easy after all.

Severus had changed over the months. He had become very serious and he never had seen him laughing again since Janos had died. The Potions Master always had been a serious man of course, he had learned _that_ from Janos, he feared, who had been a very serious man as well. But both had been laughing too every now and then, the older one of the two sometimes giving away a nearly childish laugh, the younger one of them a mere chuckle.

But that had changed. Severus hadn't laughed since his father had died. He had been wearing his mask all the time since, not even lowering it in front of him, Albus, or in front of Lucius or Lily. Well, he just was glad that the young man at least visited Lucius or Lily from time to time still.

He had to admit that he had been a bit surprised when Severus had come back from one of those visits one day to tell him that little Harry – of course Severus had not called the child '_little Harry_' – had started drinking from a cup instead of his milk bottle, and that he had tried to hold the cup himself even.

He had been sure that Severus would refuse anything that had to do with the child.

And he had not only been sure about that just because little Harry was James Potter's son, and not even only just because little Harry had been born on the same day, just two hours after Severus' father had died either, but because of what Janos had told him a year ago. It still nagged at his heart, what the younger wizard had told him back then and he still was searching for a solution.

Yet – he had promised Janos not to do the only thing he knew would ease his fears, namely telling Severus.

Even then, Janos still had been so overprotective over his son, never mind the fact that Severus had been twenty years old by then. Well, maybe it had not only been his over-protectiveness. He remembered the scared face of the young man during their conversation. And he remembered what he had said to him too.

"He will hate me." Janos had said. "If he knows, he only will hate me. I don't want him hating me."

"He won't hate you, Janos." He had answered him, startled, not knowing what had just happened. "You don't know how deeply Severus loves you. He never would hate you!"

"Believe me, he will." Janos had said, his voice desperate. "You must promise me that you won't tell him, Albus. Never!"

Well, he hadn't. He had kept his promise and he had kept his wizard's oath. But he still couldn't understand how Severus ever could hate his father. Janos had been the only one able to calm Severus when he was really upset.

**Flashback**

_"Where is he, Albus?" Janos asked the moment he entered his office, not even greeting first – a sign __of just how upset he was, as Janos was one of the most polite persons he knew. _

_"Calm down, Janos." He said, trying to ease the young man's worries. "He right now is in his dormitory."_

_Janos immediately turned on his heels and started to storm out of his office, clearly intending to go down to the dungeons and to the Slytherin common rooms and for a short moment Albus was so startled that the young man had reached his office door already before he could react, while he at the same moment wondered how Janos knew where to find the Slytherin common room in the first place. He had been a Gryffindor after all.  
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_"Janos!" He called out. "Stop! You cannot storm into the Slytherin common rooms. Calm down, child. I will have a house elf getting your son." Well, maybe he should not have told Janos the reason as to why he had called him over to Hogwarts in the middle of the term. _

_But at least Janos really stopped and settled to pacing his office instead, while he, Albus, had one of the house elves fetching the young Slytherin. _

_"Calm down, Janos." He said, shaking his head. "Severus is fine, he didn't have an accident, he just had skipped a few classes and a few meals."_

_"Severus is thin enough as it is." Janos growled at him angrily and he had to admit that the young father was right, Severus was a rather skinny boy. "He cannot afford missing meals, not to mention that maybe there is a reason as to why that boy has locked himself away! It isn't like Severus to do such a thing, Albus! Something has happened to upset him and you tell me that I should calm down?"_

_A moment later there was a knock at the door and so he luckily was spared a reply to the upset and worried young father. _

_"Come in, Severus." He called out and the door opened. _

_Well, he couldn't help smiling the moment the boy had entered and had closed the door, an anxious expression on his face, because the young Severus barely had managed to close the door and to turn towards them, when his father already stormed towards the child. He took the child's chin for a moment and lifted the boy's head so he could look into the pale face with piercing green eyes and then he simply lifted the boy into his arms and carried the teenager that was nearly as tall as was he towards an armchair where he sat down, the boy on his lap where he cradled him to his chest, the child leaning his head onto his shoulder and braking into tears. _

_"Hush, Severus." He heard the young man whispering into his son's hair. "Everything will be alright. We'll sort this out, alright?"_

_Well, he had to admit that he himself had started to worry. He knew Severus since he was a toddler, since he was three years old, and rarely had the boy acted like this. In the beginning, yes, unconsciously demanding attention, but that soon had changed when the child had realized that his new father neither would hurt him, nor leave him. And then Severus soon had acted rather reasonably instead of emotionally._

_So neither he nor Janos was used to such an outburst from the child._

_"What has upset you so, child?" Janos asked again, trying to make sense of what had happened and trying to calm the child down, and where they all had failed to get the boy talking to them, he did so with his father now and told him about his worries and troubles. About not wanting to kill animals for brewing potions, about James Potter telling him that as a pure blood he surely wouldn't want to become a greasy Potions Master and that even if he was not a pure blood that he was a Slytherin and had to regard the same things, but that he couldn't become something else because he wasn't as good in anything else as he was in potions. _

_"I want you to summon Potter and his parents immediately, Albus." Janos said the moment Severus finally had stopped talking, was resting his head against his father's shoulder tiredly._

_"Don't you think that this is a bit overreacted, Janos?" He asked with a frown, but the young man just glared at him darkly. _

_"I will have nothing of this, Albus." He growled darkly. "You either summon them or I will pay them a visit right now. It isn't the first time that Severus has been hurt by Potter and I will not allow this to repeat itself, not if it goes as far as it goes right now. Potter is old enough to think before he opens this blasted mouth of his." _

_He surely would have tried to reason with Janos further, but somehow he knew that there was more to it, that the young man meant more with his comment. He couldn't shake off the impression that Janos meant that Severus had been hurt by Potter badly where he__, Janos, came from. And so, with a sigh he summoned the Potters and their son. _

_Eleanor and Harold Potter arrived just minutes before James Potter and Janos deposited Severus into the armchair he had been sitting in, knowing that the teen surely would not want them seeing him sitting at his lap. The young man himself stood and went towards the window after greeting the Potters with a curt inclining of his head. Yet – he kept silent until the young Gryffindor had arrived – even if barely. _

_"Good afternoon, Mr. Potter." He then drawled, turning around and not even waiting for Albus to start any conversation, addressing the twelve year old that just had entered. "If I remember correctly, and I am sure that I do, then I have told you on January, 7__th__ 1972, at Flourish and Blott's, what would happen if you ever again showed less manners than a gorilla towards my son."_

_"I beg your pardon?" Harold Potter at once demanded, his booming voice outraged. "Who are you, that you speak to my son in such a way?"_

_"I begin to see where __exactly Mr. James Potter has his charming manners from." Janos shot back, glaring at the older Potter. "Just to your information, Mr. Potter, I am Janos Amity and I already have informed your son once that I were sure his parents had taught him better than bullying other children, but that if I learned that they have not, then he should be under no misconception and know that I immediately would contact and inform his parents of their son's behavior towards my son so that they could remedy their neglect in education at once. I take it that you are Mr. James Potter's parents?"_

_For a moment he couldn't help smiling at the dumbfound look Harold Potter threw __at Janos, but then he got off his chair the moment the older Potter had an acerbic reply on his lips. _

_"Gentlemen." He said. "I am sure that we can solve this problem calmly."_

_"He insulted me of having a brain like a gorilla." Harold shot at him._

_"At least THAT he got." Janos muttered under his breathe and he barely could keep himself from chuckling at the young man's wording. As polite as Janos in general was, sometimes that man's speech wasn't better than that of a teenager._

_"Gentlemen, please." He repeated. _

_"Harold." Eleanor Potter said, placing her hand calmly at her husband's arm the moment he wanted to say something back. "Let us hear what Mr. Amity has to say, please."_

_Then there was a pause during which he noticed a strange look Janos threw towards Eleanor Potter, a warm look, and he also noticed that – as strange as it was – Janos had calmed down at her words completely. He knew Janos since nine years now, and he knew first hand that if Janos was upset, then he was upset and barely anyone was able to calm him down so quickly and effectively as Mrs. Potter had done just now. Strange, really._

_"I do thank you, Mrs. Potter." The young man even said. "I do regret however that I have to inform you that – and not for the first time – your son has upset mine, and this time he has gone too far. Severus has been unable to attend his classes and meals for three days now because of your son's bullying and I am sure that even you as his rightfully worrying mother have to agree that such behavior is simply unacceptable."_

_"For three days?" The woman asked startled, casting a worried glance towards Severus who tried to hide within the folds of the armchair, unsurely looking between the Potters and his __insane father, before she gazed at her son, her hand still at her husband's arm to keep him from doing more harm yet. "What has happened, James?"_

_"I said nothing else than that he couldn't become a Potions Master because he would have to kill animals and go all greasy then with all the fumes – unbecoming for a Slytherin pure blood." The boy said, glaring at Severus._

_"Knowing fully that Severus has worked hard for years to reach this particular goal one day, you have forgotten to add." Janos said, addressing the young Mr. Potter now. "What would you feel if my son were to tell you that you would be unable to become an auror one day, Mr. Potter?"_

_"James? Not becoming an auror?" Potter senior bellowed outraged again, nearly getting of his chair in his rage. "That is …"_

_"Exactly, Mr. Potter." Janos calmly said, looking at the man coldly. "That would be outrageous. It would upset your son and it would make him insecure of his future career which is an important decision. You surely cannot deny that. Not to mention, Mr. Potter, that Salazar Slytherin himself had been a great Potions Master in his years!"_

_"James?" Mrs. Potter asked, looking at her son. _

_"'M sorry." The boy mumbled. "Didn't mean it like that."_

_"Severus?" Janos asked his son then, his gaze worried again but steady._

_"'S ok." The boy answered. "I apologize. It is alright." He said at his father's lifted eyebrow. _

**End flashback**

Yes, that had been one of the encounters he never would forget when thinking of Janos Amity.

That young man definitely used to _have_ a temper, and he definitely used to _have_ a knack for dramatic as well, and he had been reminded of that little fact the moment he had turned from the window when James Potter had entered his office, his black robes billowing dangerously. Chuckling he couldn't help thinking that he knew for sure _where_ Severus had learned this little trait from.

Well, Janos had greeted the Potters upon their entrance, only to turn back towards the window, making clear that he intended to wait for their son's arrival, and only when the boy had been present he had turned, but not to address his parents, but the boy himself.

And while Janos normally preferred a rather informal speech he had used well-thought words to address both, the boy and his parents – aside from the gorilla-comment, he had to admit – and he had been unimpressed by Harold Potter's angry outburst. But well – that had been Janos all over and while Harold Potter had been angry, he had seen that Eleanor Potter had been impressed by the young man. He just had not been able to decipher the strange look Janos had thrown towards the woman. But now he knew. Since a year, he knew, and now he wished that Potter Senior would have controlled his anger at this particular moment. He had seen the disappointed look Janos had regarded him with and now, years later, he could understand – now, years later, he knew that Janos Amity had been disappointed by his grandfather.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st**** 1981 – Amity Manor – 09:14 pm**

Sighing Severus Snape got off his armchair and with his shoulders bent uncharacteristically he went towards his room. By the end of the day he was no less miserable than he had been the past months and by the end of the day all his questions surrounding his father had not lessened either. He had not found any answers to just one of them. By the end of the day – he still missed his father to a point, if physically hurt.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in ****By the end of the day**

_July, 31__st__ 1982 – Janos Amity's second anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	3. paranoid or prepared

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

September, 09th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_Sighing Severus Snape got off his armchair and with his shoulders bent uncharacteristically he went towards his room. By the end of the day he was no less miserable than he had been the past months and by the end of the day all his questions surrounding his father had not lessened either. He had not found any answers to just one of them__. By the end of the day – he still missed his father to a point, if physically hurt._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter ****three **

**Paranoid or prepared?**

**July, 3****1****st**** 1982 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

It had not been the best year since he last had been here, on October, 31st 1981.

Yes – he had to admit, since his father had died two years ago he rarely had came here, at one point or another during the holidays, the day Lily had died and on his father's anniversary of death. The manor was too big for him suddenly, and it was too empty for him suddenly either. He didn't want to really live here anymore. He was lonely here and he felt miserable here. As if he didn't belong here anymore.

Of course he did belong here, and he knew it. It had been his home for many, many years after all, since he was about five or something like that, but – without his father … it simply …

Sighing he took a small sip from the tumbler in his hand, while watching the dancing flames.

The worst day this year – aside from today – had been October, 31st 1981 when Lily had died, had been killed by Voldemort.

He so hard had tried to protect them, and he would have brought them here, had Potter not protested and run to Albus. And why the headmaster had listened to Potter, he didn't know, really. Albus had lost his trust in Potter long ago, had been disappointed by the auror long ago, at the latest on the day Harry had been born.

Harry.

He hadn't seen the boy since October 31st, when he had been over for dinner at Lily's.

Albus had taken the boy to his relatives, to Petunia and her husband, and he had assured him that the boy was alright with them. Well, Albus most probably was right, he had to admit. Petunia had a child on her own and the two boys could grow up together. If only it hadn't been necessary.

He should have gone against Potter and Albus, and he should have taken Lily and the boy to Amity Manor the moment Voldemort had learned about the prophecy. Well, he knew why Albus had refused his offer in the first place. He was a Potions Master, and even if he had been taught defense and advanced magic by a man like Janos Amity, his father, who had been the best, he wasn't an auror. Potter had been one, as had been Black, and so Albus had trusted in their abilities to keep Lily and Harry safe.

Yet – they hadn't.

Abilities! Severus huffed. Potter's abilities matched those of his father, Potter Senior, and they hadn't been the best, and Black had betrayed Potter and he had finally found his dark side that resided in a great part of the Black family, and had run to Voldemort.

Huffing, he shook his head and took another sip of the tumbler.

So his father had been wrong in one thing after all. Sirius Black _had_ turned dark, had joined Voldemort, despite the man's words he had overheard so many years ago when he had told Abraxas that he didn't fear for Sirius Black becoming a follower of the dark.

How people still could be afraid of using Voldemort's name, he didn't understand. Not that he had understood them being afraid of using his name back then before he had been defeated. His father always had used the man's name, he always had said that the fear of the name would only increase and deepen the fear of the thing itself. And he had been right.

While Janos Amity, Abraxas and later Lucius Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore and he himself had kept their heads concerning Voldemort, most other people had soon been terrified at alone the mentioning of the madman's name. And yet – it had taken nothing more than a small boy to finally get rid of that madman.

He still didn't know how Harry had done it, and neither did Albus, but he had been worried and he had imagined _anything_ after he had been informed of the events. He had demanded to see the boy right then, but Albus had promised him that he was alright and that he was brought to his aunt and uncle where the blood wards were already in place to keep the child safe from any remaining Death Eaters or any other dark magic.

He missed the child, he had to admit. It was ten months since he last had seen him, after all, and he missed him.

It wasn't that he _loved_ the brat. How could he? Harry was Potter's son, for Merlin's sake! But at the same time Harry was Lily's son as well, and he knew it. How could he hate the brat with the knowledge that he was Lily's son as well? And as he had visited them at least once or twice a month, had watched him growing into a babbling toddler that had scrambled to his feet just to fall back onto his nappy clad behind – yes, he missed the brat, nearly as much as he missed Lily and his father, and Abraxas, for that matter.

Why were all the people around him dying one by one?

His father two years ago? Lily ten months ago? Abraxas half a year ago? The only people he deeply cared about and that had not left him yet were Lucius and Draco, Albus and Minerva – and Harry. And Harry had been brought to Lily's sister, therefore out of his reach. And Albus? Albus wasn't young anymore after all, he would die one day too in a future not too far away. Not to mention that the man – as well as Lucius – always had one or another dangerous incident with Death Eaters or other things.

Not that he himself hadn't.

His father had fought against Voldemort, until a few months before his death, and he himself had done so as well.

He still didn't know why his father had been so persistent in destroying Voldemort and his Death Eaters, he never had understood his father's obsession. Of course they all had known how evil Voldemort had been, and of course they all had done all that had been in their power to get rid of the madman, but his father … it had been more and he knew this.

Sometimes he'd had the unease feeling that his father had hated Voldemort with all his heart, soul, body and mind.

His father rarely had displayed real hate. Disappointment sometimes, yes – anger sometimes, yes, that too – sadness sometimes, definitely, dislike even, but actual hate? No. This particular emotion had been reserved for Voldemort, and for Voldemort alone, and he never had understood it, knowing that the man would have died without hesitation if he only were able getting Voldemort killed as a result.

If only his father were alive still, if only Janos had been alive still, when the prophecy had been brought to Voldemort. His father would have been able to talk Albus into letting Lily and Harry in to Amity Manor. Blast that! Janos simply would have taken them to Amity Manor without even _asking_ Albus! And maybe then Abraxas would not have gone to that hunt for remaining Death Eaters alone too. His father and Abraxas always had been working together like being one. They not only had watched the other's back, but they somehow had managed to feel the other's emotions, _thoughts_ even, and whenever they had fought together, it had been like a blur and it had been like a dance the two of them had performed on a tightrope.

And a tightrope it had _been_ sometimes, he knew that. Both of them had dragged each other home in one shape or another more than once, either Abraxas Janos, and he, Severus had nearly had a fit when he had witnessed it for the first time, or his father Abraxas and Lucius had nearly had a fit when he had witnessed it for the first time.

**Flashback**

_It was the summer holidays after __second year and he was back at home with his father – and it was great!_

_The past three days they simply had been to the lake behind the house. It wasn't a really large lake, not as large as was the lake at Hogwarts, but it was large enough so that you needed more than ten minutes to swim to the other shore. The problem was, that the other shore was a steep cliff and you either had to climb up after swimming over there – and no one ever had managed this aside from his father who rather often did so, waving at him from the top of the cliff before jumping back down into the water – or you had to swim back without taking a rest. _

_But he didn't care. He was a good swimmer, his father had seen to that, and so he managed without tiring before he was back at the sandy shore close to the house. _

_He had done very well in his OWLs this year and so his father had let him a few days off before he would have to start on his homework. He had started nevertheless, with his potions essay. He had started on it in the evenings while he had been sitting with his father in front of the fire in the parlor._

_But the afternoon hours they had spent swimming and laying in the sun. _

_His father had been a bit strange when they had done that for the first time, when he had been a few years younger. He had covered him with layers and layers of a cream he had made earlier, and he had not allowed him in the sun without that cream. He had told him sternly that a sunburn could be not only very painful, but very dangerous too and that if he would catch him laying in the sun without the cream, then he would be in a lot of trouble. _

_Well, luckily his father didn't apply the cream to him anymore, he could do so himself now and so he didn't have to deal with layers and layers of the substance. He only took enough so he would be protected from the sun and so his father would not die of a heart attack if he found a red spot on his body._

_He'd once had a sunburn on his back, when he had forgotten to use the charm to apply the cream there __as well because he didn't reach all of his back himself. And when he had noticed, he had tried to hide it from his father, knowing that the older wizard would not like it and that he would be in trouble then. _

_If he only had told his father at once, he now thought with a groan._

_Of course the man had noticed that something had been off, especially with his back, and so he had ordered him to get off his shirt. He had frowned at his father and had told him that he was alright, but Janos only had given him a minute to consider if he would wish to get off the shirt by himself or if he preferred being undressed by him._

_Well, he still had not taken the shirt off, had not thought that his father really would do so – even if he should have known the man better than that, he soon had realized. He head learned back then at the latest that Janos Amity never made empty threats, that he always went through with his announcements – and of course Janos simply had taken him, wordlessly, and had pulled his shirt off. Well, the fit the man had thrown upon seeing the sunburn and the lecture he had gotten from him had definitely not been worth laying in the sun without protection. For a moment he even had thought that he would find himself over his father's knees, something he never did, but then his father had taken a deep breath and he had applied a healing salve over his back. He hadn't however spared him that lecture that had taken him the reminder of the evening._

_He never again had forgotten to use the charm that would apply the cream to his back after that._

_However, right now he was sitting in his armchair, reading his potions essay over, and he was tired after a day of swimming and running along with Lucius. Abraxas and Lucius had been over today and they'd had a great day. They had stayed for dinner and just an hour ago they had left. He now would finish reading over his essay, and then he would go to bed. Tomorrow would be a warm and sunny day again and Abraxas had promised to bring Lucius over for the day._

_He was just about to get up from his armchair when the fire flared and Abraxas came through, and he looked up at the force the man __came out of the fireplace with._

_Abraxas, Albus and Minerva were the only three who were allowed to come through this fireplace, knowing the password to Amity Manor, but neither of them did so without asking for permission first normally. They all knew what a private man Janos Amity was after all, and how paranoid he could be sometimes. _

_One just had to consider Poppy! The woman often was seething at the fact that she was not able to come through the fire like the others, never mind how much she cared about his father, and never mind that his father got along very well with the medi witch. _

_"Are you crazy, Poppy?" His father only had asked once. "You do not really suppose I would have you at my manor thrice a day to fuss over me in this annoying way of yours! If you want to see me, you will have to ask first and then I will consider if it is worth the trouble allowing you over or not!"_

_Well, he remembered her horrified face still._

_But that was not the point. The point was, that Abraxas had come through without sending his patronus first to ask for permission like he always did! And this alone was reason enough to worry. And his father thought so too, as it seemed, because he was at his feet, his wand at the ready, even before Abraxas was out of the fire completely and his face was worried._

_"Death Eaters!" The man only shouted. "At the Longbottom Mansion."_

_A moment later his father had summoned his cloak and his emergency potions kit and was slipping into his boots._

_"You will not leave the manor, Severus!" He ordered while he slipped into them and tied the laces. "You will not answer any calls and you will stay away from the windows! You will not initiate contact to anyone by yourself either! You will either stay here in the parlor, the adjoining study or go to your room, nowhere else, those three rooms are the best warded in the house! If you get hungry, call for Zilly, he will care for you and if I am not back within the next twenty-four hours, then ask Zilly to contact Albus, but you will not go near the fireplace! Did I make myself very clear, Severus?"_

_"Yes, sir." He answered, knowing that if his father used that tone with him, then it was serious business. _

_"Good, because if you disobey just one thing, it will be the first time I take you over my knees for a spanking you won't forget anytime soon." The man threatened and he couldn't help gulping nervously. His father never beat him, his father never raised a hand against him, and his father never threatened him with this either. Yet – he knew exactly that if his father threatened him with this, then he would follow through with it. He always followed through with what he announced, he only had to think of the incident with the sunburn a few years earlier._

_A moment later both men were gone and he still stood in the middle of the room, not knowing what __had just happened, not knowing what was going on._

_Of course he knew what Death Eaters were, followers of Voldemort who did horrible things, who killed and tortured innocent people just because they found pleasure in those cruelties. And so – yes, he had to admit – he was worried, he was very worried. His father and Abraxas had just gone to fight them. _

_But they had looked so prepared, as if they had done that before, as if they had known what to do in such a situation. Even his father's orders towards him, Severus, had been prepared, he suddenly noticed and his worries grew, as if his father had played it through in his head before, as if he had prepared himself for when he would __have to go for a fight while he, Severus, was here._

_Sighing and knowing that he right now wouldn't be able to go to bed and sleep anyway, he sat back down onto the sofa. A few moments later however he got up again and paced the living room for a while before he took a book from the shelf and started reading. Another few moments however and he closed the book with a loud snap, unable to concentrate onto the text, and he put it back into the shelf. He pulled out his history homework instead and started on his essay._

_He knew that if he had something that was connected with learning, something he simply had to do instead of reading a simple book – even if his father had a lot of really good books in his collection – then he would be able to concentrate better. And so he started his history homework. _

_He just got up every now and then to get one of his father's history books from the shelf in the study and to pace for a few minutes nervously, casting a tempus every now and then and worrying when midnight came and went by without either of the two men showing up._

_It was long after midnight when the fire finally flared again and Severus looked up from his history essay he nearly had finished__ meanwhile, his face pale and scared and he was relieved the moment he saw the first outlines of blond and black. _

_His relief however was short lived when he realized that the blond was nearly carrying the black and the two figures barely had taken complete form and stepped out of the fire when he got to his feet hastily, his quill falling to the floor and leaving ink stains on the cream colored carpet._

_"Dad!" He couldn't help screaming, but the moment he got a closer glimpse at the figure clad in torn robes and covered in blood and dirt, he was frozen to the spot, unable to utter anything else and unable to get his eyes off his father. _

_"Get your father's second emergency potions kid, Severus!" Abraxas called out while he laid Janos onto the sofa, forcing him down when the man started to try and get up. "Now!" He added, shouted, when he still was frozen to the spot and it was that shout that got him out of his daze. _

_Without thinking he sprinted towards his father's study and grabbed the second emergency potions kid the man always kept there, just in case, just as he kept the third emergency kid in his bedroom and the fourth in his, Severus' room. He didn't think about that right now, however, and if he would be able to think anything __at all right now, then he would have had to admit that he wasn't able to think clearly right now anyway._

_Sprinting back he brought the kit to Abraxas who took it without a thanks and just dumped the entire contents onto the coffee table instead, rather unceremoniously, rummaging through the potions, dressings and other things his father thought were necessary. _

_"Hold this over the cut__ on his shoulder." Abraxas ordered, and still scared and frightened out of his wits he looked down at the gauze the man was pressing at his father's now bare shoulder that was covered in blood. Why was his father covered in so much blood? He wanted to scream the question at Abraxas. What had happened? Why was his father not sitting there and talking to him, joking with him like always? How badly was his father injured? Would his father be alright? Why … what had … would he …_

_He felt Abraxas' hand on his wrist, the grip tight enough to hurt, the man pulling him closer and his hand over the gauze he held to his father's shoulder until he had no other chance than pressing the gauze to the bloodied shoulder. He still wasn't able to say or ask anything, but it wouldn't have worked anyway, he guessed, as Abraxas was already about to undress his father further and he couldn't help shuddering when more cuts and … and cuts … and … well, bloodied injuries were revealed. _

_Abraxas still didn't say anything, just moving his wand over his father, pouring potions __after potions down his father's throat before waving his wand over his father again, and again. It was more than an hour later before Abraxas finally took a deep breath and sat down onto the coffee table that stood in front of the sofa, his shoulders slumped and looking tired and exhausted but relieved._

_"What … what happened?" Severus finally managed to ask and Abraxas looked over at him as if he just now realized that he was even there. _

_"Merlin, Severus!" The man gasped, dropping his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I have put you through this! I'm really."_

_"What … but what happened?" Severus asked again, still not understanding._

_"You should not have seen this, Severus!" The man murmured, ignoring his question. "Merlin! Janos will kill me! But I feared he might die. I'm really sorry!"_

_"Uhm … alright … but … but what happened, Abraxas? Please!" _

_"There simply were more Death Eaters at the Longbottom Mansion than I had expected." The older wizard finally sighed. "And Potter didn't appear at all. Moody lost a piece of his nose, I fear. And your father – Merlin, we were alone, your father, Moody and I! We were outnumbered more than ten to one! If I get my hands at Harold Potter's throat, then I'll wring his sorry neck and send him to the Death Eater's lair as soon as I find out where exactly their hideout is!"_

_Again he couldn't help blinking while listening to Abraxas' rant, hearing the other man's threat._

_So – Potter's father was an auror? _

_Well, never mind if he were or not, he definitely had messed up, hadn't he? Just like his son!_

**End flashback**

Yes, his father definitely had been a warrior, and one that had been brilliant. And yes, his father somehow had been paranoid. He had known of four emergency potions kits back then. One in his father's laboratory, one in his study, one in his bedroom and one in his, Severus', room. Last year however he had found one in the kitchen as well, one in the shed and one in a cave near the lake.

Yes, his father definitely _had_ been paranoid.

On the other hand – his father had always had a solution and something to help him with, never mind if it was emotional pain or physical pain he had been in. His father always had been prepared.

Once he had found his father's school reports from Hogwarts, the two at least that had been made during his sixth and seventh year he had completed there for his NEWTs, and he had wondered why his father had been so miserable at potions in his sixth year, only slightly improving in this class during his seventh year, when he'd later had a potions laboratory, and a rather large one at that, where he had brewed so much potions himself then even if he hadn't been a Potions Master.

He also had always wondered why there only had been school reports from his father's sixth and seventh year. He knew that his father had attended Hogwarts from his first year on, but there never had been school reports from his first five years. All of his father's OWLs were missing, and he had searched Hogwarts' entire archive.

He had asked Albus, but the headmaster only had said that he should ask his father, that he had no right telling him. So – what had happened? Where _were_ his father's OWLs? If he really had come from another timeline, like he for some time now speculated – even as unbelievable as this thought might be – then his father's OWLs might still reside in the past – or in the future – and he wondered how many OWLs he'd had. If his OWLs were anything like his NEWTs, then he must have been brilliant.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st****, 1982 – Malfoy Mansion – 07:14 pm**

Lucius leaned back in his armchair, running his hand over his face tiredly. He knew what day it was, and he knew where Severus was right now. And he knew that he would be back at Amity Manor in three months again, at October, 31st, the day Lily had died.

He knew that he didn't care about Potter's death, but about Lily's.

There had been some of the Slytherins that had judged Severus' friendship and later his relationship with the Gryffindor girl, but he, Lucius, never had. Severus and he had grown up very close. Janos and Abraxas had been close friends after all and they often had visited Amity Manor, or Janos and Severus had come over to Malfoy Mansion.

And as a close friend of Severus, he of course had known Lily as well. So – yes, Severus had made a very, very good choice with Lily, he had to admit, Gryffindor or not. The girl had been not only beautiful but well raised, intelligent and ready to work hard for her goals. And she'd had a good heart, loyal and brave. She had become a woman that had been like the girl and more, she had loved with all her heart.

And he knew that she had loved Severus until her death.

**Flashback**

_Merlin, it had been a rainy day and he was glad that he finally was at home. But well – it had been Narcissa's best friend after all, and he simply hadn't been able to refuse her. She had been so happy when he had agreed to visit__ing the park. But honestly, if he had known that it would rain cats and dogs, then he would have refused right out. _

_Well, a__t least Draco had not been with them out in the rain all day long._

_He had asked his father to watch over the boy for the day and his father only had grinned madly at him, probably having some sort of ill, perverse and twisted thoughts in this wicked mind of his – about what exactly he could teach the small infant during his parents' absence. How Uncle Janos ever had been able to endure that man's friendship, it was still a riddle to him, but well – he had. Softly he snickered at the title he only dared giving the man in his mind._

_He only once had made the – rather grave – mistake of addressing Janos with 'Uncle Janos' and he never ever again had dared doing so during all the following years. Janos nearly had had a heart attack! He had gone all white and he actually had started trembling, and his voice had been very calm and quiet when he had told him that he never ever again wanted t__o be addressed with this title._

_At first he had thought that it was because Janos Amity hadn't been his real uncle and he remembered that he had been very miserable for __some time, but then Janos had talked to him. He had said he wouldn't tell him the reason as it had been a private one, but he had said he loved him as if he were his family, that it wasn't because of that._

_Later on, when __they had been teens, Severus had confided in him one day, pacing his room angrily for at least an hour before finally telling him, his voice nearly seething, telling him that all those scars that littered his father's body had been caused by Janos' uncle and that he had tried to find out who that man was, where he lived, but that he hadn't been successful – and by then he had known why Janos had reacted so strongly when he had called him 'uncle' one day._

_Janos Amity __simply did not want to be an uncle to anyone because he had been abused by his own uncle._

_However, h__e had known that most likely Janos would step through for a while today, while they were not at home and he had groaned at the thought. Janos Amity and Abraxas Malfoy alone with the four weeks old Draco! That – only could end disastrous! On the other hand – he also had known that most likely Janos would be the more responsible of the two when it came to little Draco, when it came to children at all. _

_For a moment h__e smiled at the thought that Janos was so excited about even the Potter boy's birth in about four weeks, even if he couldn't really understand that excitement._

_Lily had been Janos' near daughter__-in-law, yes, but the child she carried was Potter's, not Severus'. And nevertheless Janos was as excited about the boy's birth as if Severus were the father and not Potter. It just didn't make any sense. Not to mention that Janos shouldn't have come through in his condition in the first place. He had seen the man from time to time lately, and he couldn't deny that his friend's father looked horrible. Janos Amity always had been such a strong and proud man – it was frightening, seeing him now so weak and ill, and in so much pain._

_Sighing he got rid of the boots he was wearing while he waited for Narcissa to have finished showering and he smiled. His father would __look over Draco until tomorrow morning and they would have the night for themselves – hopefully at least. He wasn't able to put it past Abraxas Malfoy to dart into their bedroom in the middle of the night, a crying Draco in his arms because he was desperate and disturbing them in – rather private things._

_His eyes darted towards the second floor, into the direction the bathroom was placed. Tonight he would ask Narcissa to really bond with him. Of course they were married, and they had a son, but he wanted more, he wanted to bond with the woman he so deeply loved, he wanted to bond with her, body, mind and soul. He wanted to be one with this woman._

_Aside from Andromeda and Black, Sirius Black, all of the Black family had become dark wizards over the time, and he was a really happy man that Narcissa had not followed this path. _

_Thanks to Janos and Severus, he couldn't help thinking. Both of them had done a lot to keep people from becoming dark, especially Janos and he frowned. Janos Amity was a man that was so pure of the light, it was nearly startling. He was one of the most powerful wizards he ever had met, maybe even more powerful than Albus, and he knew that his friend's father – or his father's friend – had fought in a war, had killed, but he still had stayed pure light._

_Of course he knew that Janos had used unforgivables, and of course he also knew that Janos could be very harsh and tough, and nevertheless this man had stayed so pure with the light – yes, it simply was sensible, visible even, it was startling. He didn't want to meet that man in a dark corner while being on the wrong side of him, honestly, but nevertheless he never had gone dark, his soul, his core, never had gone dark. It simply was unable to be explained._

_Shaking his head he reached out to take a sip from the hot tea Dobby had brought the moment they had come back from the park, when the fire flared and a doe came through, gracefully walking over to him before lowering its head to one side, just like Lily would have done and he couldn't help smiling._

_"Are you free for a moment, Lucius?" The patronus asked quietly. "I must talk to you, it is important." _

_A moment later the doe vanished and he looked at it sadly until it was gone completely. For a moment he had thought that Severus had sent it, but the moment it had lowered its head to one side, he had known that it was Lily's. Severus' doe would rather give away a curt nod like its caster would, instead of lowering its head to one side._

_Drawing his wand he produced his own patronus and spoke to the silver wolf before sending it away._

_A moment later the fire flared again and Lily stepped through._

_"Lily!" He greeted the woman, taking her into his arms for a moment and placing a light kiss onto her cheek. "I do hope that this really is important, because if it isn't, then I will have your hide for risking your child's life using the floo as often as you do. You should have waited until I had come though."_

_"It is important, Lucius." The woman said, allowing him to help her into one of the armchairs. "And I can't talk to you about that at the Potter Estate."_

_"Lily!" Narcissa called out a moment later, rushing through the parlour. "You shouldn't have come through the floo in your condition! You could have asked us over instead, honestly!"_

_"What condition, Cissy?" Lily asked, smiling when Narcissa bend down to wrap her arms around Lily for a moment and to place a kiss at her cheek too._

_"Don't mess around with me, Lily!" Narcissa said. "Severus will have all our hides if he learns about your visit here, using the floo!"_

_"That is the reason as to why I am here." Lily said, her voice quiet and her eyes holding pain._

_"Lily?" Lucius asked, getting worried. "What happened, dear?"_

_There was silence for some time, Lucius and Narcissa exchanging worried gazes, until Lily finally took a deep breath._

_"Well, it isn't particularly easy to start." The young woman finally said. "I don't even know where to start! I mean __… you see … I'm sure that you know about Severus. That he still loves me, I mean. I know that he isn't angry at me for marrying James, and I know that he never will be, but I know how much it pains him, and I know that he is so miserable ever since."_

_"Yes, we know that, Lily." Narcissa answered, taking a seat beside Lily and taking her hand in__to hers. _

_"Well, you see, for some time I feared for Severus, that he would become a bitter and harsh man."_

_"Severus already is a harsh man, Lily." Narcissa laughed. _

_"I know, but that is due to his upbringing." Lily said. "I know that Janos loves Severus with all his heart. Sometimes I think that there is no other father on this earth that loves and coddles his son as much as Janos does, even if Severus is an adult now. But Janos is a harsh man nevertheless, because he had been through so much when he had been young, even if no one knows through what exactly. And Severus has learned it from him. But I mean … I feared he would become even harsher than he already is. I mean really harsh and bitter and … oh, I just don't know!"_

_"I know what you mean, Lily." Narcissa said. "He had been so miserable, he still is sometimes."_

_"It has been Janos who kept Severus from becoming a bitter man." Lucius simply stated. "And now, that Janos will die, and soon I fear, I guess you fear that just this might happen, that Severus will become a bitter and sour man."_

_"Yes." Lily whispered. "Especially when the child will be born."_

_"I see your line of thinking, my dear." Lucius said. "But aside from being there for Severus when Janos dies and when your child will be born, we cannot do anything else."_

_"I'm not so sure." Lily said, looking up at them, first at Narcissa, and then at Lucius. "You know that I have married James only because Janos had said it would be important. And James really is such a bastard sometimes. He is nothing from the charming boy he had been back then, at Hogwarts. He's more away with Black than he is at home, and even if he's at home, then he's still a bastard, either ignoring me or giving me angry looks and acerbic remarks."_

_"I know, Lily." Narcissa said, running her thumb over her friend's hand. Lily might not have been Narcissa's best friend, but they were very close nevertheless and the both of them often had been sitting together for a cup of tea – or two – and Lily had told all her pains and hurts to the blond woman. "But I don't see what we can do about that, you are carrying even Potter's child now."_

_"If only I had not listened to Janos!" Lily suddenly cried and Narcissa took her at her shoulders, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I should have stayed with Severus and right now I would wish nothing more than being back with him! I still love him so much! It hurts even thinking about it! I still love him so much, Cissy! And I don't even know why Janos had insisted that I marry James, why he had said it was so important!"_

_"I do not know it either, Lily." Lucius answered, his voice s__erious. "Not exactly at least, but I do know that if Janos thought it important, then it really was important. I know that dad knows more about Janos than I do, but I know that something with Janos is just strange. He knows things he shouldn't know, things that hadn't happened and then they do happen. And I also know that he never meddles in other people's lives and therefore I know that he never would have suggested this if it wasn't really important. But I do not know why."_

**End flashback**

Both, Lucius and Narcissa had exchanged startled, surprised glances at Lily's outburst, but both of them had been unable to do anything aside from trying to comfort Lily.

They hadn't known.

Lily never had said anything, and they hadn't known that she still had loved Severus back. Until the day she had died. But even if they had known back then, there had been nothing they could have done. Lucius, who had known Janos better than Narcissa, had known that the man had asked, had _begged_ Lily to marry James, but even _he_ had not known the reason. He only had known that Janos had not told Severus about that and he only had known how miserable Janos had been about the entire situation. Merlin – he even had seen the man crying for days and days on end, locking himself up in his study over what he had done to Lily and Severus until his father, until Abraxas had had enough and had gone to Amity Manor! He was sure that Janos would have liked Lily and Severus being together if it had been possible. That man had loved Lily nearly as much as he had loved Severus after all.

But he hadn't known what he could have done to make it any better for Lily. Nor for Severus or Janos.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31****st**** 1982 – Amity Manor – 09:14 pm**

Well, Janos and Abraxas were dead, as was Lily, and he knew that Albus wouldn't live too long either as he was old and constantly battling Death Eaters. He also knew that Minerva too would leave him one day. She too was old enough to be his grandmother after all. And Lucius? Lucius would continue fighting against the remaining Death Eaters together with him and the chances that one of them would die in one of those fights were not too small. He just feared that maybe Lucius would die before _him_.

But the two persons he had loved the most, they had been the first to die. His father and Lily.

Frowning he remembered that those two had become even closer the closer Janos' death had come and he – not for the first time – wondered why. His father had been strange back then.

He still remembered that Lily had been through rather often since Jonas had fallen ill, despite her pregnancy and while he knew that his father always had liked Lily, it had been different then. Since he had fallen ill, Janos had looked at Lily with complete different eyes and he often had told her to _not_ come, to _not_ risk her child while traveling through the floo so often. He had worried about that child as deeply as he had worried about him, Severus, when he had been a child, and he always had wondered why, he still wondered why, but he also knew that this might be one of the reasons he too cared about Harry.

It had been however one comment during this time that never had left his mind ever since.

"Do not risk this child's life, Lily." His father had said one day, looking seriously at the girl. "This child has to live, never mind what, this child has to be protected, and this child has to be loved by you, because he might not have much love in later years. Do not risk your son's life, child, because I do not wish to die without a reason."

He afterwards had asked his father if he knew about the illness, if he knew the reason as to why he would die, but Janos Amity only had smiled at him and had told him that everything within this universe had a reason, but that not everything was destined to be known by human beings, while every living being would have to die one day. Truly an answer worth of Janos Amity, but one that had not explained his comment he had made to Lily.

'_Do not risk your son's life, child, because I do not wish to die without a reason.'_

Well, there had been a lot of secrets surrounding his father. Some of them he had shared with Severus in later years, when he had come of age and some of them he hadn't. He knew that Albus knew more about the man that had been Janos Amity, that had come out of nowhere and that had adopted him, that had been one of the most powerful wizards, even back then, when he had been so ill and weak in the beginning when he had come here.

But Albus never had told him more, never mind how often he had asked him, not even after Janos had been dead. He didn't know why Albus still kept his father's secrets, even after his death, and he had to admit that it sometimes frustrated him, but at the same time he had become rather good at piecing the puzzle together slowly but surely, year, for year, for year.

He wasn't sure if he ever would find out all, but at least by the end of that day he had been a bit wiser, just by thinking things through again, by studying the puzzle pieces again. It was slow going, but by the end of the day – he was a bit more at peace than he normally was at July, 31st.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in ****By the end of the day**

_July, 31__st__ 1983 – Janos Amity's third anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	4. amity and defence

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

October, 10th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_But Albus never had told him more, never mind how often he had asked him, not even after Janos had been dead. He didn't know why Albus still kept his father's secrets, even after his death, and he had to admit that it sometimes frustrated him, but at the same time he had become rather good at piecing the puzzle together slowly but surely, year, for year, for year. _

_He wasn't sure if he ever would find out all, but at least by the end of that day he had been a bit wiser, just by thinking things through again, by studying the puzzle pieces again. It was slow going, but by the end of the day – he was a bit more at peace than he normally was at July, 31__st__. _

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter ****four **

**Amity and defence**

**July, 3****1****st**** 1983 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

Three years.

Janos Amity was dead since three years by now, and Lily since nearly two years, and still Severus had not found all the pieces to complete the puzzle that had been his father.

_"Severus, son."_ Janos had said during one of his last few days before he had died._ "Severus, if something will happen, if Harry and Lily are in danger at one point or another, please, take them to Amity Manor. Keep them safe, and keep them alive."_

_"Of course I will, dad."_ He had answered, still not understanding why those two were so important to the older wizard. _"I would have done so even without you asking."_

_"I know, Severus."_ Janos had smiled at him, lightly running his fingers over his face like he had done so often when he had been a child still. _"But please, if it is possible for you, if Lily dies, then see to it that Harry will be safe and well cared for."_

_"Lily won't die, dad."_ He had said. _"The Potter Mansion is well warded and I see no reason as to why either of them should die."_

He had not understood the pained expression that had crossed his father's face back then, but he understood now. If Janos Amity really had come from a different time, then – and he was sure about that by _now_ – it had been from the future and he had known that Lily would die, as well as he had known that Lily would get a boy and that she would name him Harry, even if Lily herself had not known this back then.

_"Just promise me, Severus, if Lily dies, and if it is possible for you, then see to it that Harry will be safe and well cared for."_ He again had asked. _"It is important. If Lily dies, then this child will have no love and no place. Please, son, you have to make sure personally that Harry will be well cared for."_

_"I promise."_ He had said.

And he had meant it. He even had been ready to take the child the moment Lily really _had_ died. But Albus had assured him that the boy was safe and well cared for by Petunia and Vernon Dursley, had told him that it wouldn't be wise to go and visit the boy as he would have to get used to living by his aunt and uncle now.

For a moment he frowned, knowing that somehow he missed a piece of the puzzle that should be there, that was laying directly in front of his nose, but he didn't see it.

Janos never had seen the child – and yet, he had not only known that it would be a boy named Harry, but he also had cared so deeply.

He had asked Lily to not risk the child's live, because he – Janos – didn't wish to die without a reason.

Harry had been born two hours after Janos had died, at the very same day.

Janos had known that Lily would die, he was sure about that by now.

Janos had lived a harsh life without love in younger years, having been abused and neglected, starved by his uncle.

By his uncle he still had not found yet even if he never had given up on trying to find out who exactly this uncle was.

Shaking his head he sighed and leaned back, taking hold of the black leather bound book. He wouldn't find the piece that would add to the picture right now anyway. He most likely was sitting too close to the picture right now, like he always did on this particular day. It was hard after all to _not_ being too close to the picture on this day, the day his father had died three years ago.

Opening the book he for a moment looked at the untidy handwriting that had been his father's.

He had found the book in the drawer of the nightstand beside his father's bed. It had taken him a long time until he had been able to search through Janos' things, but he had gone into the man's bedroom on October, 31st last year when he had come here to remember Lily's death, searching for a bit of comfort by simply being in the room that had been his father's, trying to feel the reminder of his father's presence and still finding traces of his father's magical signature, even three years after the man's death.

He didn't _really_ know why he had done so, and he neither knew why he had opened the drawer. He never had intended to remove any of his father's possessions nor going through them, except of the papers that had been important, that concerned the Manor or other things _he_ now had to handle.

But back then, when he had come here on October, he had opened the drawer and he had found that book, his father's journal. He hadn't looked into it since, even if he knew that most likely it would hold answers to so many of his questions, but he somehow hadn't been able to bring himself to really doing more than opening the book and looking at the untidy scrawl that was his father's handwriting, nor really daring to read one of the entries, feeling as if he would invade his father's privacy, feeling as if he would take something his father had kept hidden so protectively over the years.

But his father was dead since three years now. And he had been searching for answers for so long, since even before Janos had died. It was his father after all, not a stranger, and they had loved each other. They barely had kept any secrets towards each other. Would it really be so bad if he read what his father had thought? What he had felt? What he had …

_'__August 7__th__ 1963__'_ He started reading, determined.

'_It's still strange, writing this date. 196__3. I'm rather used to writing 1995, honestly. But well – I guess that will be a few years until then.'_

Frowning Severus re-read the paragraph. So, he had been right. His father _had_ come from a different timeline, from the future, but 32 years? How must he have felt back then? Knowing that he had left his timeline and was so far in the past? Had he been afraid? Why had he left his timeline in the first place? Had it been an accident? What had happened? Had Janos even known what had happened? Had he been able to understand the situation even? Had he …

He had hoped that he would get answers – yet, even more questions presented themselves to him.

Well, he would have to go on reading if he wanted to know more and so he forced his mind away from those new questions and to concentrate onto the words that were written in his father's undidy scrawl.

'_I still don't know why fate for once ha__s done as I asked, why fate for once has answered my wish. Merlin, I don't even know why I have wished this in the first place! I just __… I've seen him laying there, dead, and I knew that it was wrong. He shouldn't have died. And especially not like this. No one ever had seen it, but he had not only been a git, he had been a very proud man and he had been a very brave man too._

_Dunno why, but I've known that I had to do something and … I just don't know. Maybe because he'd been the only one ever who never lied to me. He was harsh, a real bastard sometimes, and I'm sure he really had enjoyed all those things he ever said to me, to hurt me, but at least he never had lied to me._

_And Remus! I know that he hated me in the end for getting Sirius killed__ back in third year. But there were just too many of those damn dementors and my patronus had been too week! I haven't been able to save him and I know that Remus hated me ever since, even if he never had said so. I just know it, from the way he looked at me sometimes. And now he's dead too, like all the others._

_I__ should have died instead of them._

_Well, actually I have, but Dumbledore had sent me back to defeat Voldemort. Strange, really. He shouldn't have, he should have let me in peace finally. I hate him for this, for first telling me that I had to die and then sending me back to the battle.'_

Albus had _what_? Frowning he reread the last paragraph, but the words stayed the same. The Albus from the future apparently had sent Janos into death, just to send him back to the living and the battles. But that was impossible. And it didn't make any sense either! Janos had been – however old he had been, he had been a child still! And Albus never would do such a thing!

On the other hand – this was a secret entry of his father, one he never had shared with even him, Severus, and so he knew that it was the truth Janos had written back then. And he knew his father well. Neither had that man ever been a show-off, nor had he ever been lying about anything. But Albus sending a child into death and then sending said child back for fighting battles against Death Eaters and Voldemort himself? How could that be possible? Still frowning he continued reading.

'_But then – more would have died if he hadn't. And right now Severus is laying on the bed, sleeping finally, and he looks so innocent, so different from what I remember him. Who would have thought that our dear Potions Master had been such a cute child? I'm sure he would skin me alive and use my body parts in one of his nastier potions if he knew that I just called him cute. But he __is__ cute. I have him here since a week only, but already I love this small child so much and I don't understand how and why and … _

_Merlin! I just don't know how I'll be able to manage all of this! _

_But well, it is just like that and I always have managed one way or another, and I'll do all to keep him safe and happy. He deserves it after all. His father was a bastard and I don't regret having blasted him through that wall!_

_However, t__he last battles are over – or should I write have been over? Will be over? I don't know, but there is so much I don't know lately – well, for me the last battles __are__ over and he should have enjoyed his freedom like all the others. But he's dead. But he should be free finally._

_Like me? No, definitely not. I don't feel this freedom.'_

For a moment his chest clenched again at those words. His father had been a child, but he had not felt freedom after those battles he'd had fought in had been over. If it had been the war against Voldemort and if Voldemort had been destroyed, then he should have celebrated with his friends, he should have felt free – and yet, he hadn't. And the very fact that a child felt so war-weary, so life-weary – it wasn't right.

No child should feel like this!

'_So many have died. None of my friends are left. They had been children! _

_Damn!_

_I just hate it!_

_None of them should have died! _

_I don't even know __if Dumbledore has survived, or McGonagall. Well, seeing that he was there, in the afterlife, I don't think that Dumbledore has survived. Or did he come back? Like me? There were so many dead and I haven't been able to find them, neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go to the great hall where all the others had been celebrating the end of the war and our victory. I just didn't feel like celebrating, not when so many have died!_

_Hermione and Ron are both dead, as is Ginny and Neville. And Collin. Ginny and Collin, they've been fourth years! As was Luna! They shouldn't have been fighting in this war in the first place! And all because of me. _

_I should have ended this sooner, but I was too week. _

_Last year I'd had the chance for doing that. Voldemort has lured me to this graveyard after all and I have faced the bastard. But I have been too week, again, and I've been so scared after he'd killed Cederic. Back then Dumbledore had said I was only a fourth year, but I should have done something. _

_The funny thing is, I've sworn that I never want to feel the cruciatus again, but back then I haven't known that the last battles would hold __so much of those damn, blasted curses. _

_Neville had been under it for quite some time and I'm sure if he hadn't died, he would've ended up at St. Mungos like his parents._

_It's just unfair! None of them should have died! I should have died instead of them! _

_Severus is waking. I'll try to sort out this mess tomorrow. Albus asked me to have dinner in the great hall, now that I'm released from Poppy's claws and I hope that Severus will be alright with this, he's still so scared of strangers and he's still so easily startled. It's just strange, being back at Hogwarts right now, a Hogwarts that isn't destroyed, that seems so peaceful as if nothing had happened._

_Well, here in this time nothing HAD happened._

_Ah geeze! I'm back home and that's all that counts right now. Hogwarts always had been my home after all!'_

Looking up from the page Severus took a deep breath before he closed the book and took the tumbler with his whiskey from the table – with trembling hands, he noticed with some annoyance.

Those had not been the words form a man, he immediately realized. Those had not been the words from an adult, from Janos, from the Janos Amity he remembered. Those had been the words of a child. Of an unsure and frightened child that had nothing and no one left, that had been alone, that had been scared, and that had gone through horrible things and lost everything and everyone in the process. Those had been random thoughts, stumbling through the mind of a child that still had been in some kind of shock.

Fifteen.

If he was correct, and if he had understood the entry correct, then Janos had been fifteen when he had found himself here, when he had found him, Severus, had taken him away from Tobias Snape, and his respect for his father only grew by that knowledge.

Janos Amity had been a fifteen year old child that had lost everything, that had been abused by his only living relatives, abused until he had collected a fair number of scars from that, a child that had fought in a war – against Voldemort, if he understood that correctly – and that had fought in more than one battle, a child that had lost everyone and everything, that had – most probably – been forced to watch his friends dying, that had been forced to watch a castle that was strong and a thousands of year old, that had been his home, being destroyed, and then had landed himself far in the past. And yet, he had shoved his own fears and his own worries and troubles and unsureness, all his hurt, emotional hurt and most likely physical hurt as well, aside just to take a small child from his abusive father and to adopt said child, even if he had not known how to handle the situation, most likely had not even known how to handle himself at that time, how to care for the child. And nevertheless he had managed to love that child with all his heart.

If he just were still alive!

Why hadn't he told him all of this?

Well, so it had been Janos' wish and not an accident when he had left his timeline and had gone into the past, 32 year into the past.

As the child he had been in the future he apparently had known the wolf and the mutt. But how had he been able to know the mutt? Black was in Azkaban – for a lifelong stay. And what link did he have in the future with those two? He didn't remember that Janos had any contact to either of them here, in this timeline.

And yet – in the future they apparently had been close, at least Janos and the wolf as the entry sounded as if he regretted the wolf hating him for getting Black killed.

But how had he gotten Black killed in the first place? From what he understood it had been in Janos' third year and therefore before the last battles. Maybe Black had escaped and had been kissed by the dementors? But then Janos should not have blamed himself. First – Black had betrayed Lily and he had killed twelve persons, he was in Azkaban for this after all, and second – he knew how difficult it was to ward off dementors if they came in a number higher than one or two and for a third year to produce a corporal patronus at all – that was unheard of, let alone producing one strong enough to ward off more than one patronus.

And yet – he knew, if there ever would have been a third year managing just that – then it surely had been Janos Amity.

The last battles … victory … Voldemort … fourth years and fifth years fighting and dying …

Shaking his head Severus leaned back in his armchair.

Children shouldn't fight battles and children shouldn't die in battles. And yet – according to this entry – they had. Neville.

Could it be that Janos had been talking about the Longbottom boy?

It was strange, thinking that maybe his father had been a friend of the Longbottom boy. He didn't know who the other children were his father had mentioned. But apparently he hadn't known if Albus and Minerva had survived in the future. And whom had he spoken of in the first place? Whose death – aside from his friends' – had upset him so much that he had asked fate for help?

He would have to talk to Albus!

And to Poppy!

According to this entry Janos had been at Hogwarts for sure in his third, fourth and fifth year and he had been at Hogwarts from the very first beginning when he had entered their timeline, 1962, and he had been 'in Poppy's claws'.

Getting up from the armchair he went over to the fireplace. Knowing that right now Albus was not at Hogwarts he thought of Poppy and hesitating for a moment he took a deep breath before he took some from the floo powder and threw it into the flames. He waited until they went green and then placed his head into the flames, calling out for the infirmary at Hogwarts.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 3****1****st**** 1983 – Hogwarts, infirmary – 08:14 pm**

The fire flaring green got her out of her thoughts.

It was the holidays and so no students were here right now – leaving her pretty much time to think about this very day.

Three years ago, on this very day, Janos had died. He just had fallen asleep in his bedroom down in the dungeons and then he had died, had not woken up again. Severus had been there, sitting beside him, never letting go of his father's hand and never leaving his eyes off his father's form either.

Janos had gotten weaker and weaker during the last few days, ghostlike even, and then he simply had died. She had asked Severus if he wanted to take his father to Amity Manor so that Janos could die in peace and at home, she wouldn't have minded that, she hadn't been able to do anything anyway, and Janos had made it pretty clear that he refused any treatment she could have come up with, but Severus had shaken his head.

_"This here is his home."_ He quietly had said.

He only had taken Janos' dead body to Amity Manor after he had died, preparing for the death watch at the Manor to make sure that his spirit would be transferred to wherever the spirits went after death safely and he had been gone for three days.

Running her hand over her face she turned towards the fireplace, recognizing Severus' head sitting in the flames and she frowned.

"What is it, Severus?" She worriedly asked fearing that the man maybe had done something stupid today. She knew how miserable the man was on those days. "Has something happened?"

"No, Poppy." Severus answered and his voice sounded calm, even if sad. He also _looked_ calm and she gave a curt nod. So Severus was not in trouble at least. "Would you please send my father's medical reports over to Amity Manor?"

"Your father's …" She frowned at the Potions Master. "Why would you want your father's medical reports?"

"Poppy." The man seriously said. "Janos is dead since three years now, surely you would not think that I would mishandle the information in any way _now_, three years after his death?"

"Of course not, Severus." Poppy shook her head. Of course she knew that Severus would not do this. Considering his post as the Potions Master here at Hogwarts the two of them worked together rather close and Severus often had read through the medical reports of one or another student in order to know how to prepare needed potions. Not to mention that she knew how close those two had been, Janos and Severus, that Severus had loved his father deeply and that he never, _absolutely never_, would misuse any information revealed about his father. "I just wonder what might have happened that you ask of Janos' reports now, three years after …"

"Answers, Poppy." Severus growled at her and she nearly chuckled. Yes, that was the Potions Master she knew, Severus Snape. "I am still searching for answers and I think I have found something. But I would like to have a look at my father's medical report for checking some things."

"You do know that he never has allowed you to look at them, don't you, Severus?" She asked, well knowing that he indeed knew.

"While he has been alive, yes." The Potions Master answered in annoyance. "This blasted man even had his medical reports warded, but he is dead now, Poppy."

"Oh, calm down, Severus." She said, shaking her head. "I'll go and get his reports for you. I just don't know if they still will be warded against you."

"Just send them through." Severus growled. "I'll keep the floo open until you have."

With a sigh she turned and went towards her office.

She knew that Severus was searching for answers since years, since even before Janos had died, they all did, didn't they?

When Albus had brought the boy and the small child into her infirmary back then, twenty years ago, she had been startled. Her first thought had been that those two had been brothers who had been abused by their father maybe, but Albus soon had explained that this had not been the case.

**Flashback**

_The boy that right now was sitting at one of the beds in her infirmary still cradled the small child to his chest, still refusing to let go of the __three year old that had his wry arms around the boy's neck and his face hidden in the dirty folds of the boy's cloak _– _a Hogwarts cloak with the Gryffindor emblem on the left chest, a bloody and torn cloak._

_The entire boy seemed to be bloody and torn! Scared and frightened and unsure and – just like a lost child._

_"I need you to release that child for a moment, Mr. …"_

_"Amity, Ma'am." The boy answered, his voice barely above a whisper, pressing the small body of the three year old even closer against his chest. "Janos Amity."_

_"Alright, Mr. Amity, I need you to release the child for now." Poppy repeated. "I cannot have a look at you while …"_

_"No!" The boy said, turning his body slightly in a way as if to physically protect the child from being taken away. "He has been through so much."_

_"As have you, Janos, child." Albus said. "Give little Severus to me for a moment until Poppy had a look at you. He'll be safe with me."_

_Only hesitantly, slowly, the boy pulled the child's arms from his neck and reached the small child towards Albus, mistrust clearly written in his green eyes. Eyes that held so much horror and fear and pain, and she wondered what __might have happened to that boy._

_"How old are you, Mr. Amity?" She asked while she waved her wand over the boy. _

_"Uhm … I'm seventeen, Ma'am." The boy quietly answered and she frowned. This child never was seventeen years old. He rather looked as if he were not older than twelve or thirteen! But well, she let it slip for now, knowing that medical care would have to come first, before trying to find answers._

_"I need you to undress, Mr. Amity." She said, watching the boy who only hesitantly did as she had asked of him, slowly taking o__ff his robe and placing it at the foot of the bed, slowly, as if he were trying to stall for time._

_"You're a Gryffindor, Mr. Amity, judging by your robe?" She said to distract the boy's worries while she watched the young wizard taking off the jumper and she nearly gasped when she saw the boy's upper body that was covered in bruises, cuts, burn marks and older scars, many of the fresh injuries definitely caused by spells and hexes. There was not a single spot on his upper body that was uninjured or free from scars and she nearly missed the quiet "that's a story I can't explain" the boy murmured while he averted his eyes._

**End flashback**

She simply had given the boy a sleeping potion without any further ado after seeing the damage done to a body that was far too thin for her liking and a moment later the young Janos Amity had been asleep.

_"This child is not seventeen years old, Albus."_ She had said.

_"I know."_ Had been all Albus had answered while he had tried to get little Severus who had hidden his face away to look at him.

_"My scans show that he is about fifteen but he looks like a twelve year old or a thirteen year old at the most. What has happened, Albus?"_ She had asked. _"He's wearing a Gryffindor robe but he isn't a student here! I've never seen him here and this robe is not a regular Gryffindor robe as well. I've never seen a robe like this either, even if it clearly bears the Gryffindor crest and colors."_

_"I don't know, Poppy."_ Albus had said. _"I've never seen the boy before. He just was there at the ministry with this little child and he wanted to adopt him. Apparently he had taken him from his abusive father, Tobias Snape, a muggle, who just moments ago had killed the child's mother, Eileen."_

_"Eileen Prince?"_ Poppy had asked, looking at the headmaster startled.

_"Yes, Eileen Prince." _Albus had answered.

_"Merlin!"_ She had gasped. _"The poor child! And the poor boy too! He should live with his parents himself yet, instead of being a parent, Albus!"_

Taking the medical report from the old shelf Poppy opened the folder, scanning through the papers and waving her wand over them, noticing with some satisfaction that the wards Janos had cast over them so many years ago were indeed gone by now, while she still remembered the young man and how he had come into their lives.

_"He has been abused, Albus."_ She moments later had said while waving her wand over the sleeping boy again. _"For a long time, there are a lot of old scars. And there are a lot of curses and hexes too, different curses and hexes from different people. It is as if he had fought in a battle, and for a long time, Albus."_

With a frown Albus had taken the boy's wand and he had cast a priori incantatem while he at the same time had tried to keep the toddler he still had held in his arms from falling as he was leaning over towards young Janos with his little arms outstretched, and from letting himself fall onto the bed. However, she too had seen the result and this time she actually _had_ gasped.

_"He has cast the killing curse, Albus!"_ She had called out, casting a startled gaze at the sleeping child in the bed. _"And other … Merlin, how many curses has he cast?"_

_"I fear you might be right, Poppy. The child definitely has fought in a battle and in one against many people, and for a long time, as it seems."_ Albus had answered after he had cancelled the spell even if Janos' wand still showed curses and hexes for not only defense but attack as well. _"I don't know however what kind of battle that could have been. I don't know of any war going on at the present time."_

"_Albus, the boy has killed people, as it seems."_ She had said, shuddering, feeling unease. _"And quite a lot."_

_"It seems so, Poppy, but as it looks as if the child has fought in a war, you either kill or get killed."_ Albus had tried to calm her. _"We do not know this child's background, Poppy. We do not know what has happened or where he comes from and we are not to judge him before we know more. I just wonder who would send a child to war!"_

Of course they had learned more over the years, even if only slowly, bit by bit, one small information they had to piece together after another one and Albus had never told her all of it. She never had learned how it had come that he had worn a Gryffindor robe without being a student at Hogwarts for example. She knew that Janos had been a student at Hogwarts, but she never had seen him before and there were no medical reports from his first five years, neither had there been Janos' OWLs.

It had been as if he had come from nowhere and she never had gotten answers to this riddle that had been just one of those many riddles that had surrounded Janos Amity.

Of course she soon had known that the name Janos Amity had been made up, but she never had seen the boy himself either before that day, on August the first, back in 1963. She also had learned that he had fought against Death Eaters and she had shaken her head. She still shook her head about that. Janos Amity had been a child back then, a fifteen year old child, and children should not fight in a battle against Death Eaters. Fifteen year old children should be at home with their parents, protected.

And yet, she had seen the scars and she had seen all the telltale signs during the first time after Albus had brought Janos to Hogwarts. Janos had not trusted them, he had been afraid of them, scared, lost and frightened, hurt, wary all the time and he barely had trusted them with Severus either whenever he had been too exhausted to care for the boy himself, whenever his injuries he had sustained during that battle had taken their tolls on the boy, whenever he simply had fallen asleep in the library, in the room he had been given, wherever he had been during the first few days. Of course they all had taken little Severus gladly then, trying to help Janos as much as possible, but whenever Janos had woken then, he had been startled out of his wits, frantically calling for little Severus, searching for him until he had him back in his arms and it had taken weeks until the boy had learned that he wouldn't lose Severus just because Albus or Minerva had taken him when he had fallen asleep in his exhaustion.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 3****1****st**** 1983 – Amity Manor – 09:14 pm**

He knew that his father had been in some kind of war before he had appeared out of nowhere, and he in later years had learned that his father had been a warrior of some kind. Not an auror, mind you, but he had fought against Death Eaters since a very young age.

So – no, he was not surprised that Janos Amity had overtaken the post as defense teacher for his second year, even if back then he had been startled at first.

Again, just like always, his father had brought him to Hogwarts the day the welcome feast would be held, but he had not left Hogwarts after he had brought him and then had a chat with Albus while he, Severus had unpacked his trunk. And later, the moment he had entered the great hall, he nearly had gasped when he had seen his father sitting at the head table, beside Minerva.

**Flashback**

_The moment he entered the great hall for the welcome feast he actually halted mid-step before he s__lowly, shaking his head and blinking in confusion, made his way to the Slytherin house table in the great hall, all the while wondering why his father was sitting at the head table beside Professor McGonagall. _

_"What's your dad doing here, Severus?" Lucius whispered into his ear the moment he sat down, but he only could shake his head. He didn't know._

_Normally only teachers were sitting there, at the head table__, and he didn't understand. _

_Had Albus made an exception for his father because they had to discuss things later and his dad didn't want to go home and then come back __again? It could have been possible. Or maybe something had happened while he had unpacked his trunk in his dormitory? Or maybe Albus had invited his father for dinner as they were so close friends? Janos Amity was a welcomed guest at Hogwarts after all. Or maybe his father had fallen ill and couldn't floo back home right now? Or maybe …_

_The double winged doors opening and the new firsties entering the great hall got him out of his thoughts for a moment, but he wasn't able to really concentrate onto the ceremony__, neither onto the sorting hat's song nor onto the sorting itself and he barely registered who was sorted into Slytherin while his dark eyes were going towards the staff table where his father was sitting every now and then, and he was annoyed to no end at the green eyes that seemed to smirk back at him, at the questioningly raised eyebrow his father regarded him with whenever he looked over at him. _

_What had happened that his father was sitting at the head table?_

_What had happened in the short time while he had unpacked and then went down into the great hall?_

_What had happened so that …_

_"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts." Albus' voice soon got him out of his musings again. "Please note that we, this year again, have a list of banned items__ taped to the caretaker's office and please note that still the forbidden forest is just that – forbidden. The pleasant news is, that we finally have a Defense Professor who I trust will be capable and that hopefully will stay for more than just one year. Professor Janos Amity …"_

_Blinking in shock Severus looked up at his father, then turned his head towards Lucius who hit his shoulder with a happy 'yeah!' and he looked up at his father again__ with excitement, not listening to the headmaster's speech anymore. Why hadn't he told him before? Why hadn't he … well, it was just like that man to torture him like that and most likely enjoying his startled expression right now!_

**End flashback**

Well, he hadn't been sure if he should be happy having his father at Hogwarts or if he should groan with frustration over having his father as one of his professors. Lucius had been very excited, he had hit his fist on his, Severus', shoulder with a shout of enjoyment. Well, he had to admit that he too had been happy and after the welcome feast he had been racing up to the staff table, hugging his father with a whispered _"Professor Amity, that's funny"_.

His father had smiled down at him happily just as well.

_"Why haven't you told me, dad?"_ He had asked then.

_"And missing the funny expression on your face at Albus' announcement?"_ His father had asked with a smirk and even now, years later, he smiled at the man's words. Yes, he had been right back then, Janos _had_ enjoyed his startled face.

Well, the next few days hadn't been so funny at all, however. Whispers had broken out through the castle the same evening and the next morning.

_"It's Snape's father."_

_"Amity, doesn't it mean friendship?"_

_"'S another word for peace."_

_"Isn't he supposed to teach defense?"_

_"Peaceful defense, yes."_

_"Bet he can't even cast a shielding charm."_

_"Amity defense."_

Well, the term '_amity defense'_ had coursed through the castle for at least three or four days, even if it had become lesser each day – until it had stopped for good the day after he, Severus, had been in his first defense lesson with his father as his teacher.

**Flashback**

_"What's defense with Amity like?" Sanders from __Ravenclaw asked, a sturdy third year and Severus scowled while Lucius shrugged his shoulders. He had no problems with Sanders, the boy was alright and they often sat together in the library, studying. Lucius, Sanders, Lily, Lupin and he, Severus. But he didn't like hearing all those rumors about his father over and over again. Even if they had lessened a bit by now. It seemed as if each class that had defense with the new professor stopped spreading rumors. And even Lucius had refused to tell anything after he'd had defense this morning. _

_"Hey, you can tell, Lucius." Lily said, frowning. "We're friends, aren't we? We won't tell Professor Amity that you told us."_

"_No." Lucius just said, scowling at them and Severus nearly chuckled. _

_"We'll see anyway in a few minutes." Remus said. "It's defense next."_

_Again he didn't know if he should feel excited over having his first lesson with his father as his professor or if he should feel worried, and he got off the table they had been sitting at, went through the library and then down the corridor that led to the defense classroom, Lily and Lupin following him while Sanders and Lucius kept their seats. _

_Entering the defense classroom he looked over at the desk, seeing his father sitting there with a scowl on his face, marking papers and he somehow got the unease feeling that his father wasn't in the best mood. Of course he wasn't. He surely had heard about all the comments that were made about him too. _

_"You think it's true and he can't even cast a shield charm?" He heard Pettigrew whispering._

_"Amity defense, what do you think, Peter!" Black laughed, not even minding that his father might hear him._

_"I'd be careful." Potter hissed. "You'll be in trouble if he hears you."_

_"You think I care, James?" Black asked and Severus groaned. Why did they have all their classes together with the Gryffindors?_

_"I got in a lot of trouble when I teased Snape last year." Potter hissed. "I'm sure he can't cast a shield charm, but you won't be caught by him stating just this, his trap is a bit dangerous, he'd even had my father upset."_

_"Well, Mr. Potter." Severus heard his father's voice coming from behind and he turned, seeing __the man standing close to Potter and Black. "Seeing that this is the defense class, I am surprised that you are not paying any attention to your surroundings. Allowing an enemy sneaking up on you from your front even? I haven't even approached you from behind and you haven't noticed my appearance? How careless and unsuitable. Speaking of shield charms however, Mr. Potter, if you would, please?"_

_Potter blinked at the man stupidly for a moment while his father waited, taking a step back and extending his hand towards the front of the classroom. _

_"Well, Mr. Potter? We are waiting?"_

_Slowly Potter got off his chair and slowly he walked to the front of the classroom while his father followed, just as slowly, lazily even. _

_"Your shield, Mr. Potter." His father then said, one eyebrow still lifted at the Gryffindor. "I am sure you have learned how to cast one in your first year?"_

_"I've been able to cast a shield even before I've come to Hogwarts!" The idiot Gryffindor said with a scowl on his face and Severus dropped his head into his hands, groaning silently and knowing that the idiot would be in trouble now. He knew his father after all and he knew what his father was playing at after all. _

_"Well, then I am sure you won't have any trouble with showing us how it is done properly, Mr. Potter."_

_Potter finally drew his wand and did as he was told, casting a shield__ around himself, a big smirk plastered on his face. _

_His father watched him for a moment, regarding him with a still raised eyebrow before he shook his head and sighed before he drew his own wand and cast a silent but mild stinging hex at Potter. And just as Severus had known he would, Potter jumped in surprise, giving a low hiss away before he looked startled at the man that was his professor._

_"A shield." His father then drawled, his cold green eyes piercing the brown ones of Potter. "You actually call this a shield, Mr. Potter. How disappointing. Go back to your seat and maybe next time you will keep your own big trap shut. It is most unbecoming, accusing people of being unable to do things you are not able managing yourself after all."_

_His father calmly watched Potter's angry form walking back to his seat, his still piercing green eyes following the boy until they came to a halt on Black's figure and he again lifted his eyebrow. _

_"Maybe Mr. Black does wish to prove how perfect his shield is?" He asked, his voice still __a cold drawl and Severus knew that Black too would be in trouble. _

_Black immediately got off his seat and strolled to the front of the classroom, casting a shield around himself without even waiting for an invitation._

_Well, again his father regarded the boy with a nearly pitying look on his __pale face before he, with a sigh and a shaking of his head, cast a silent but mild stinging hex at that boy too who jumped in surprise just like Potter had before. He was sure that Black had thought that maybe Potter had made a mistake with his shield and that his surely would hold. _

_"Again – how disappointing." His father drawled. "Go back to your seat, Mr. Black and in future I expect you to learn instead of opening this big mouth of yours without thinking. Anyone else who resides under the misconception that a shield charm is a simple charm that is to be cast and then impenetrable? Mr. – Pettigrew – maybe?"_

_The boy quickly shook his head and Severus nearly smirked. Of course Pettigrew would be too cowardice for challenging a teacher. _

_"That was not a request, Pettigrew, it was an order!" His father hissed, leaning his hands at the boy's desk, leaning close and Severus looked over at him, startled. Never before had he heard something akin to such anger, maybe even dislike in his father's voice and he was startled to hear that right now. _

_It had been the same as it had been with Potter and Black and in the end his father had shaken his head__ before dismissing the boy back to his seat and then addressing the entire class. _

_"Maybe next time you cast a shield charm at yourselves, you remember that you are – growing!" He said. "If you buy a cloak then it will become too small at one point or another as well, after all. While you won't have to adjust your shield in later years upon becoming an adult and having stopped growing, you actually have to do so until then! And from now on, I expect a bit more attention and less thoughtlessness from you in my class. Oh, and by the way, I expect you to keep this lesson private, ladies and gentlemen. If I hear one of you telling any other student about this particular lesson, the one responsible for new rumours will have detention with me for the rest of this school year, and believe me, detention with a Defence Master will be most unpleasant. I do know a lot of spells that might be unpleasant after all."_

**End flashback**

Yes, he had learned that day _how_ his father had stopped the rumours and with a huff he chuckled for a moment.

He still didn't know why his father had been angry at Pettigrew as much as he actually had been, but it had been clear _that_ he had been angry at that boy. He never had really hurt him, he hadn't been any harsher to Pettigrew than he had been towards the other students, had ignored him mostly, but whenever Janos _had_ looked at Pettigrew he, Severus, had been startled at the anger he was able to see in his father's green eyes.

And nevertheless his father had tried to help Pettigrew with whatever problems the boy had had. He hadn't known and he still didn't know what exact problems that had been, but he knew that his father _did_ have long conversations with the boy at least once or twice a year, and that besides of the anger he apparently had felt, he had been worried somehow as well.

Potter and Black had had their problems with his father too, even if aside from that first lesson that – he had to admit that – had left an impression on the other students, he hadn't been as cold anymore and defence even had become fun sometimes. But both, Potter and Black had been rather disrespectful and intolerable towards his father. Well, until their third year at least, when his father had defended Potter and Black from two Slytherin sixth years that had attacked them in Hogsmead.

Back then he had shuddered. His father had been anything than kind with those Slytherins, even if he normally was rather friendly with them. And from then on Potter and Black had stopped their disrespectful behaviour towards Janos Amity. Potter even more than Black. They never had been on good terms of course, even after that, and they still had played their pranks on him, Severus, but at least they had started to respect his father and the work he did with trying to teach them something useful.

The soft _'pop'_ announcing the arrival of a house elf made him looking up and he recognized one of the house elves that worked for Poppy in the infirmary, the small creature reaching a large folder towards him. He took his father's medical reports from the wrinkled hands with a soft thank you and then the small creature left with another _'pop'_.

For another moment he hesitated, just like he had hesitated starting to read his father's diary.

Janos Amity had been a very private man after all. He had shared a lot with him, Severus, over the years, but not everything. And if his father had warded his medical report against him, then he surely did have a reason for doing so, even if he didn't understand that reason. What had his father been trying to keep from him?

The abuse? He had known that his father had been abused and he was sure that – at least at one point or another – his father had known that _he_ knew. That he had fought in a war even before he had appeared here out of nowhere? He had known that as well and again, he had been sure that his father had known that _he_ knew of that as well.

His true name? His true identity? Where he had come from and why? If Janos Amity had feared any information might be found in his medical reports, then surely he would have warded his private journal just as well. And yet – it hadn't been warded.

With a sigh he opened the folder.

Maybe, by the end of the day, he would be a bit wiser. But somehow he doubted it. He had hoped for the same thing when he had opened his father's journal after all, but it only had given him more questions instead of answers. And yet – maybe he _would_ have one or two answers more by the end of the day.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in ****By the end of the day**

_July, 31__st__ 1984 – Janos Amity's fourth anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	5. the reason is you

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

November, 11th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_If Janos Amity had feared any information might be found in his medical reports, then surely he would have warded his private journal as well. And yet – it hadn't been warded. With a sigh he opened the folder. _

_Maybe, by the end of the day, he would be a bit wiser. But somehow he doubted it. He had hoped for the same thing when he had opened his father's journal after all, but it only had given him more questions instead of answers. And yet – maybe he would have one or two answers more by the end of the day. _

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter five **

**The reason is you**

**July, 31st 1984 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

Again it was July, the 31st, and again he was back at Amity Manor to remember his father, just like he had been here at October, 31st to remember Lily. Not that he didn't remember them during the year. Hell, there probably was not one single day he _didn__'__t_ remember them at all, but he always would come here on their days of death.

He had gone through his father's stocks in the potions laboratory down in the cellar of the manor yesterday, had made sure that the preservation charms and stasis spells still were intact and with great satisfaction he had noticed that – yes, they were.

Sitting down in his usual armchair he took the black leather bound book he had found over a year ago and opened it. He hadn't read in the book since last year, even if he had wanted from time to time. He simply had not really had much time for reading anything aside from his Potions Journal during the last few months.

Aside from his classes and his brewing he had his duty as head of house and the work in the infirmary with Poppy. Why Albus never had thought of hiring a second healer, he didn't know. There definitely would be work enough for two. But probably Albus thought that he, Severus, a Potions Master, was there after all, and so he didn't need a second healer.

The blasted old coot however seemed to forget that Poppy wasn't a trained healer at all, she just was a medi witch, a matron, and therefore a good part of the work in the hospital wing was on his, Severus', shoulders added to his teaching and head of house duties.

And the epidemic of first the wizard's flu and then dragon pox during the fall had held him busy until late night for two months. There had been a small pause only, before the epidemic of wizard's measles had appeared. And by the time this had been over, all those cases of hey fever and broken bones had appeared as it had become spring already. At some days he had been more in the infirmary than in his classroom even.

And not to mention the little fact that he still worked for the order and that he had his articles in 'Potions Monthly', about his invented potions or his – rather acerbic – remarks on ideas other Potions Masters came up with from time to time.

Of course those articles in 'Potions Monthly' were not as important as was his work in the order or here at Hogwarts, but honestly, he was a Potions Master after all, and a respectable one at that, and he intended to keep in contact with the other Potions Masters all over the world and 'Potions Monthly' was the best way for that.

So – all in all – there were some things – like his own interests – which he had to put aside – like reading in his father's journal – as he simply was too tired sometimes, rather _falling_ into bed instead of _going_ to bed.

That at least it was, what he told himself. If he however were honest with himself – then he would have to admit that he simply had not been able to bring himself to reading in this book at any other time than this particular day.

Sighing he leaned forwards to take the tumbler with the golden liquid that was his whiskey he used to drink while sitting here and reading, noticing that he had not even covered Janos' first month at Hogwarts.

'_August,__14__th_,_ 1963_' Severus read.

'_Yesterday evening I've told Albus about everything, well, some things at least. He really has gotten impatient, and … well, I had to tell him at one point or another anyway. I had to tell him something at least! _

_I just don't know if I can trust him yet. He has betrayed me so often in the past – or rather in the future – and I don't know … I'm just so unsure! Merlin, I'm just fifteen after all, I'm not an adult and I don't know how to handle all those things and I don't know whom to trust, if I really can trust Albus. It definitely had been easier while it had been only me, back at 1995, but now it isn't only me anymore, now I have to keep Severus safe as well and I don't know if I can trust Albus with him._

_He's been the one who had told me about the horcruxes, and that I was the last one, that I had to die, after all. He's been the one who said I had to be killed by Voldemort to finally end this war, and then I left the castle and went into the forbidden forest to meet my own death, by free will, to allow Voldemort to kill me without defending myself, and what happened? That blasted, damnable headmaster had met me in the afterlife and sent me back to the battles._

_As if I hadn't fought enough already. I didn't want to go back to those blasted battles! I'd had enough of all those battles!_

_I don't want to complain, really, I know that I lived on borrowed time anyway as I should have died fourteen years ago in the first place, and I know that it was what I deserved anyway after all, but I only wanted to be left alone after that, it wasn't easy walking to the forbidden forest and let them kill me by free will after all! It was horrible! I still have nightmares from that journey! I don't even know how I've managed to walk there at all, I sometimes don't remember all of it even, while at other times I remember each and every step I took!_

_But well, maybe I'm just still confused and that's the reason why I'm too weak to handle this all. _

_Poppy said I am confused. Aside from other things I didn't understand and don't even want to know. So, maybe I'm just exaggerating. And she's right, I'm always so tired and I really guess she's right when she says I have depressions. Who wouldn't have? I've gotten everyone killed who was close to me. I just don't know how to go on at some days.'_

Shaking his head Severus looked up from the book and took a sip of the whiskey, nearly seething with anger at the headmaster.

How could Albus have done such a thing? How could Albus have sent a fifteen year old walking into his own death by free will? How could this old meddling fool have done such a crime? Fifteen years – Janos had been a child! _His__ father_ had been a child! It was no wonder he didn't know if he could trust Albus, the Albus from 1963.

And _he_, Severus, he wasn't sure if he could trust Albus anymore just as well.

He had to admit that Albus _had_ changed throughout the past four years, since Janos had died. He didn't know if it was because of Janos' death, his father _did_ have a rather large influence over Albus after all, or if it was because of their knowledge that Voldemort wasn't dead, that he would come back one day and that the remaining Death Eaters that acted from their hideout now only waited until this day, until their Lord would be back. And if it was true what Janos had written in his journal, then they _would_ be back with full force.

But to send a child into his own death and telling him that he would have to get killed without being allowed defending himself, and then sending the child back into the battles where he had to watch friends dying, that was evil. Would this Albus go so far one day as well? What would Albus be willing to do in order to win this war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters? Would he really … of course he would, he immediately knew. Not only was this Albus the Albus from the future, but yes, he had to admit – Albus _had_ changed, had become meddling, had become a fool sometimes even.

What disturbed him much more was the fact that his father seemed to have thought he had deserved any of this, that he had thought it had been _his_ fault that people had died in this war, that he blamed himself for anything that had happened, that he even had blamed himself for being weak. Of course he had been weak! And of course he hadn't known how to go on at some days. Of course he had been confused and depressed!

Again he realized that still this entry held not the strong and confident words his father in later years had displayed but that it still was a rather uncoordinated entry, proof of Janos Amity being a child that had taken this means for releasing his emotions and thoughts after a horrible and traumatic experience to maybe feel better afterwards.

Sighing he continued reading after he had taken a sip from his tumbler.

'_I've told Albus that I came from 1995 and that I really can't tell him much, because I would change the future then and he really seemed to understand. He at least accepted that I couldn't answer all of his questions and I have to admit, that really was strange. The Albus Dumbledore I know from 1995 hadn't been like this. _

_I've told him that there still had been the war against Voldemort and that the Death Eaters had gotten more and more, that they had become really vicious in their murders. I've also told him that I was responsible for about 50 students that had died, that at least had been the last account I know of before I've left 1995. I don't know if there had been found more in the end and I guess I never will know. There is no way for me to go back after all and there is no way that I would leave Severus now either. But I guess that 50 students I've killed are enough really, added to Sirius and Cederic which have died because of me before the last battles even, and Professor Quirrel, and my parents. Not to mention the Death Eaters I've killed during the battles._

_Of course Dumbledore, the Dumbledore from 1995, had said that I hadn't killed them, my parents and Cederic, and Sirius, and Professor Quirrel, that it hadn't been my fault, and this Dumbledore, the one from 1963, Albus, he had said the same, but isn't it strange that so many people around me are dying? It has to be my fault!_

_And my aunt and uncle always had said that it had been my fault that my parents had died, after all.' _

Again Severus stopped reading, realizing that reading about this now, years after it actually had happened, was just as bad as if it had happened right now, with the only exception that he right now knew that he couldn't do anything to help his father anymore. Janos was dead since four years after all.

How had his father been able to go on with the amount of guilt he had felt? Not that it was justified guilt by any means, but he _had_ felt this much of guilt nevertheless. How had he managed to live with all of that? If he only had known. If he only …

Well, he couldn't have done anything. He had been a child himself back then, he had been a teenager, and after he had become a Potions Master, there hadn't been really much time left until Janos' death. But maybe he could have found a potion that would have dealt with the amount of guilt his father had felt. And he was sure that he had felt it back then still, even after all those years. He knew his father after all. Janos Amity always had felt guilty for one thing or another.

With a small and sad smile he remembered how his father had annoyed Abraxas over and over again with his annoyingly habit to apologize for everything – for _absolutely_ everything. Abraxas had been stepping on his feet – Janos had apologized – for being in the way. Abraxas had spilled tea – Janos had apologized – for having him distracted with his presence. Minerva had dropped a book – Janos had apologized – for whatever reason, maybe for even breathing or being existent. Whatever had happened and whoever had had a mishap – Janos Amity had apologized for it.

And honestly, considering that he had grown up in a household where his aunt and that blasted uncle of his had blamed him for his parents' death, it was no wonder. Only Merlin knew what he had been blamed for as well – and beaten for. Again the familiar anger washed over him at that thought, even now, four years after Janos' death, and before he could throw something again, like he had done so often in the past at that thought, he went back to his reading.

'_Professor Quirrel, ok, I'm not sure about him. He really had Voldemort's face sticking out of the back of his head beneath that turban of his, but does this make it any better? He had died because Voldemort was after me. He hadn't been Voldemort himself, just someone Voldemort had used, and so it had been my fault after all._

_And Cederic, if I hadn't suggested that we take that blasted cup together so we could win the tournament together for Hogwarts, then he wouldn't have been transported to that blasted graveyard together with me. I would have been alone then and Cederic would have been safe here at Hogwarts. _

_And Sirius, if I only had been stronger. That had been the reason as to why I had learned how to produce a patronus in the first place after all, to learn how to get rid of dementors, and I had learned it, but it hadn't been strong enough! I was too weak again! And Sirius had paid for my weakness, had died, and Remus had paid for it as well, had lost his bond, after he had done anything to teach me how to produce that patronus in the first place. I've failed him, like I always fail people._

_And my parents had been killed by Voldemort because of me as well. So – how could Dumbledore always say that it hadn't been my fault? _

_Those 50 students that had died – they wouldn't have died at all if they hadn't chosen to fight by my side. If I only had gone alone to this fight, seeing that in the end I've been alone with Voldemort anyway. They wouldn't have died. They only died in these last battles because of me. Hermione and Ron and Neville had been my closest friends. They had been my first friends I've ever had. And they all have died because of me. _

_How can I go on with this knowledge?' _

"I don't know, dad." Severus murmured. "I don't know. Why have you never told anything? I've been not a child anymore when you died, dad. You could have told me one thing or another and we could have found something to ease your pain. I'm a Potions Master after all. You could have said something. Why did you never tell me?"

And yet – they never did, the abused children in his house, they never told, and they never asked for help. Of course Janos had not done so either. He should have been in Slytherin instead in the house of Gryffindor.

But in the end - what had made his father so strong in the end? And Janos _had_ been strong, there was no doubt about that, Janos had been one of the strongest wizards he ever had known, and one of the bravest men he ever had known. But what had changed that unsure and scared, that hurt child into the strong and brave wizard he had been in later years?

**Flashback**

_"You mad?" He sniffed, shyly looking over at the older wizard he since a few months now lived with, who had taken him from his father that had hurt him and his mother so often. He was nearly four and so he wasn't a baby anymore. He knew well that he was in the way, like always. He knew that the man had wanted to visit his friend, 'Braxas, but he, Severus, had gotten ill and so he hadn't, had stayed here instead._

_"Why should I be, Severus?" The man that was his father now asked with a frown on his face and his green eyes searched his. He loved those green eyes, they were so intense and so warm and they spoke of so much, even if his new father didn't speak much generally. _

_"You wannated to visit 'Braxas?" He quietly offered._

_"Wanted, Severus." His new father corrected him and he looked away, feeling his cheeks blushing. Why did he always have to get some words out the wrong way? "Yes, I wanted to visit Abraxas, but do you really think that this visit was more important to me than you are? Abraxas will understand and we always can visit another time. Abraxas is my friend and we won't lose him because of a visit that we missed."_

_"But that was the first time you said yes to visit him." He said, careful to speak clearly this time. "You never leave Hogwarts."_

_"That__ might __be__ true, __but__ that __isn__'__t __your __fault __either, __child."__ The __older __wizard __said.__"Stop __blaming __your self __for __things __you __have __no__ control __over. __We __will __visit __Abraxas __when__ you__'__re __better.__ You __are __the __most __important __thing __in __my __life, __Severus.__ You __are __the __one __thing __that __keeps __me __going __and __I__ don__'__t __know __what __I__ would_ _do __without __you. __You __are__ the __one __that __gives __me __a__ reason __in __my__ life.__ And __you__ – __you __are __more __important __than __is __any __visit__ or __anything __else."_

**End flashback**

Somehow he knew that he, Severus, had been the reason as to why his father had been able to manage, to somehow go on with his life, to change into that strong man he had been in later years. Somehow he knew that his father had survived, emotionally survived, because of him, even if he meanwhile doubted that he really _had_ been so alive emotionally, even if he meanwhile feared that his father had been only wearing a mask, a _well__displayed_ mask, that somewhere beyond that mask he still had been that scared and unsure child.

His father had lived for him, Severus, and for him alone after all, had never demanded or done anything for himself. How could he have healed like that? He, Severus, he might have helped with his presence, he wouldn't deny that, he would shame his father's efforts in giving him a happy childhood and youth if he would deny that, but he started to understand that Janos Amity never had given himself a chance to heal.

With another sigh he went on reading the entry in the journal.

'_The strangest thought is that they're not even born yet, here in 1963._

_I don't even know how I could warn them as I'll die just around the time they'll be born. And I don't know if I even should. Only Merlin knows what could happen, how my actions would change the future._

_And yet – I already have changed the future in taking Severus from this bastard of a father. But honestly, I just couldn't stand back and watch. I just will have to make sure that I don't change the future too much, I will have to make sure that some things will be the same as they were in my timeline, even if I don't know how I'll manage this, even if I already know that I'll have to make a few very, very difficult decisions. But I know that it's important. _

_There are just some things that will have to happen or things could get really bad in the future. The entire wizarding world would go down the hill if I mess around with the future here, or at least the entire wizarding Britain. Just for example, if Lily won't give birth to … ok, THAT definitely is gross … _

_Merlin, what a mess._

_At least I haven't told Dumbledore any names. But talking about it had been a bit of a relief and writing about it in here was too.'_

For a few minutes Severus sat there, staring at the page and at the entry after reading the last part a second time, shocked.

Surely his father hadn't known that he would die so soon. How could he have known that? He knew that he had – somehow – died in 1995, but he had come back from afterlife before he had left his timeline! And Janos Amity had not died in 1995 but 1980, it wasn't even 1995 _yet_! How could he have known that he would die around the time his friends would be born?

And if … his friends, some of them at least, had been in his year. So, did this mean that his father … if his father had known that he would die around the time his friends would be born, then it meant that he had known the year he would die, that he would die 1980 … but if he had known that he would die 1980 … if he had known the year he would die, had he also known the exact day he would die? Had he told Albus? How much of this did Albus know?

And yet – somehow he was unwilling to go to the headmaster with those thoughts and questions. What he had read, it had shaken him, what Albus had done. How could he go to the older wizard that always had been a grandfather to him and ask him now? After what he had learned from his father's journal?

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1984 – Malfoy Mansion – 09:14 pm**

He definitely could understand how Severus felt today. He felt similar after all, whenever he thought of his father, of Abraxas.

They hadn't been as close as had been Severus and Janos, Abraxas never had been as overprotective, worried and clingy as Janos had been, but he had loved his father nevertheless and his father had loved him just as well.

Janos and Abraxas.

Those two had been a pair of some sort, Lucius snorted while shaking his head. He still didn't understand how in Merlin's name Abraxas had been able to get along with the smaller and quite strange, idiotic, foolish and childish Gryffindor that sometimes had been so scared and unsure while sometimes so strong and stubborn, so daring.

**Flashback**

_"I'll get you tomorrow evening, Severus." Janos said while placing his hand at his son's shoulder. "Don't kill them, and if you do, then please don't let the bodies laying around. I'm sure that the Malfoy Mansion has a nice garden where you can bury them before they start smelling. Oh, and please, don't bring them over to Amity Manor either, we don't have any more space for a single corpse."_

_"I still don't understand how you can stand that blasted man, dad!" Lucius shook his head in mock annoyance, smirking at Severus the moment Janos had disappeared through the fireplace. It wasn't that he didn't like Janos, the contrary was the case, and he actually loved that fool of a Gryffindor. But how could his father be so close to that idiot? Abraxas sometimes seemed to love that blasted wizard more than he loved him, his own son!_

_Not that he was jealous, he had enough love from his father – thanks to Janos. He remembered that Abraxas hadn't been as close to him during his first few years while he had been a small child, before Janos had come into their life, then his father had watched Janos and Severus – and had copied them, a bit at least. _

_Well, he had to admit that he was glad that Abraxas Malfoy had copied Janos Amity only a bit. He was sure he would have died of embarrassment if his dad had been as overprotective and as clingy as Janos always was. Somehow he didn't know who of those two was supposed to be the child, Severus or Janos._

_"Oh, that's actually quite easy." His father shook his head. "He has such a big and open heart, one just has to love this idiot Gryffindor. You should have been there when I've met him for the first time, dear Lucius."_

_"What happened?" He asked eagerly, sitting down onto the sofa beside his father while Severus, who was about to start his apprenticeship as a Potions Master, sat down into one of the armchairs, both of them expecting a good story. He loved it when his father started telling stories, especially if they were about Janos. They mostly were all funny, like the one dad had told them about the lake, and when Janos had climbed up that rock face at the other end of the lake for the first time. It had been very funny indeed and both of them, Severus as well as he, Lucius, had still been laughing even when Janos had come over half an hour later._

**Flashback within flashback**

_"We'll floo over to Amity Manor later, dad." Lucius said while sitting down at the breakfast table together with Severus. "At ten. We'd like to go swimming."_

_"When will you be back?" His father asked. _

_"Dunno, I'll be over for lunch, Severus said."_

_"Dad said he'll make a surprise for lunch." Severus added with a frown on his face._

_Well, it was the first day of the summer holidays. The last summer holidays for him, Lucius. He would go back to Hogwarts at September, 1st for his last year and after that he would start an apprenticeship as a lawyer. So he would try to enjoy his last summer holidays as much as possible._

_His dad had picked him and Severus up from Hogwarts last night as Janos had a few things to settle before he could leave the castle and so Severus had slept at the Malfoy Mansion – if he had slept, Lucius somehow doubted it. At first they had talked until nearly midnight and then Severus had been wide awake whenever he, Lucius, had woken throughout the night, the younger boy standing at the window and gazing out into the darkness more than once._

_"Knowing Janos it will be frog innards with dried leaves of a maple and vampire dressing. Very well." His father nodded at him. "At least Janos won't be present during your struggling through that lake of his as he'll be over in about an hour for going through some papers." He then added in a growl and both, Lucius and Severus, lifted their heads from the toast they were buttering, looking at his father with a questioning expression on their faces. _

_"Wouldn't be the first time." Lucius said, shrugging his shoulders._

_"It would be the first time he were in that blasted lake together with the both of you without my presence and that is enough to make me worry."_

_"I've been swimming with dad alone quite often." Severus said, not understanding._

_"You yes, Severus, but not my son and I'll try to keep it that way." Abraxas growled._

_"You sound like Janos, dad." Lucius couldn't help chuckling. "It's his part worrying like a mother hen, I can swim after all."_

_"I do not doubt your swimming abilities, but that man would be able to get everyone around him killed with his lack of abilities in this area." Abraxas growled while shaking his head._

_"He can swim." Lucius and Severus both exclaimed at the same time while Lucius furrowed his brows in confusion. He had seen the man swimming and no one ever had been able to beat him in a race, even if Severus always was close in doing just this. Janos was small and scrawny, but he was stringy and tough._

_"Hmm." His father made. "I just remember that one time when I went swimming together with him for the first time. That is enough bad memory to last a lifetime."_

_"What happened?" Severus asked while taking a sip of his tea._

_"Well, we've been laying on the sandy shore." Abraxas started, shaking his head while he poured himself another cup of tea. "The both of you have been sleeping nearby and this idiotic Gryffindor had been watching the rock face at the other end of the lake for quite some time. I've told him that he could stop inspecting that rock face, it wouldn't be possible to climb that area and from this distance he wouldn't even be able to search for any holds anyway. No one knew what the wall looked up there anyway. He looked over at me and then this foolish boy actually started a bet with me! Said if he would be able to, then he would bury me in the sand and I would have to let him. I didn't know him that well back then, even if I should have known, and so I said – jokingly, mind you – that of course if he failed, then he would have to allow me burying him in the sand."_

_"You didn't accept his bet, dad!" Lucius couldn't help gaping at his father, blinking at him stupidly and even Severus chuckled knowingly. No one ever accepted a bet from Janos Amity, not even while joking. Whatever that man joked about, he went through with it, with his reckless stubbornness and stupidity. _

_"Actually, I did." Abraxas groaned. "And I didn't even have a chance to call him back as a moment later he had asked Albus to look over you two and then he'd been in the water, swimming towards the other end of the lake. Of course I followed him, I wanted to have a close look after all, wanted to be near when he lost his bet. However, the moment we reached the other end of the lake Janos actually started swimming along the rock face, looking the wall over for any place where to start climbing up that blasted wall and a few minutes later he actually had found a place."_

_"Seeing that Janos climbs that wall each time he's swimming with us, I take it you ended up being buried in the sandy shore, most likely deep enough so only your head was sitting at the surface, looking rather stupidly." The blond haired young man laughed._

_"I'm not finished yet, Lucius, and if you want me finishing the story at all, then you better keep your mouth shut!" His father growled. "However, this foolish and idiotic Gryffindor actually started climbing up that wall and I thought he won't get far. A yard or two maybe, not more. He'd been nineteen, yes, but he looked much smaller and he still was only skin and bones back then, easily tiring and far weaker than he should have been. And so I was sure that after a yard or two he would fall back into the lake. However, he didn't. He climbed, and climbed, every now and then stopping to search the wall for a new way, but then he continued climbing. I have to admit, it had been an impressive sight, watching him climbing up that wall higher and higher, and I couldn't help swimming closer a bit."_

_"Let me guess, he climbed up there and then jumped and landed atop of you, drowning you." Severus now right out laughed. _

_"Not exactly." Abraxas growled, looking darkly at the dark haired boy. "Actually he climbed up there about twenty yards maybe – until he lost his grip and fell."_

_"And he fell atop of you, drowning you!" Lucius still laughed, his shoulders shaking. _

_"Well, he wouldn't have." His father sighed, defeated. "If I had not tried to catch him."_

_"You … you're not … you're not serious … dad!" Lucius gasped out, trying to somehow breathe between his words and his laugher while Severus wasn't able to catch his breath at all. "You … actually tried to … to catch him and then … and then he fell atop of you … drowning you!"_

_"Exactly." Abraxas groaned, going pale alone at the memory. _

_Lucius knew well that both of them had been through worse, they had dragged each other home in one shape or another rather often after some encounters with Death Eaters after all, but that didn't keep the older wizard from paling right now and the idea of Abraxas paling at a memory in which Janos fell from a cliff into the lake and atop his father, drowning him in the process, was rather hilarious._

_"Exactly that it is what had happened." The older wizard said. "I've been stupid enough to try and catch the fool before he could get himself killed and he fell atop of me, drowning me in the process. When we came up again, Janos sputtering and coughing up water, and when it had been clear that nothing too bad had happened my only relief had been that he would end up buried in the sand. The moment however we reached the other shore, Albus that blasted traitor had already spelled two deep holes into the sand, his damnable blue eyes twinkling like mad."_

_Well, at that point Lucius and Severus both had broken down and were only halfway in their seats, only barely able to keep themselves from falling off their chairs completely with laugher. _

_"You both lost the bet, had been what that blasted headmaster had said." Abraxas finished his story. "Janos was able to climb the rock face but not the entire way, He'd said. And then he wordlessly pointed at the two of us and then at the two holes he had dug and we had no other chance then allowing Albus to bury us until only our heads were sitting in the sandy shore. We couldn't move one inch and the blasted old coot was sitting there, laughing his head off and taking pictures before he laid down in the sun, still chuckling until he'd fallen asleep, leaving us there to try and blow away crabs that were about to pick our noses."_

**End flashback within flashback**

_Yes, that had been really, really hilarious, and it definitely had not been the only story Janos had told them over the years, and so – it was only understandable that both of them right now were rather curious at the prospect of a new tale his father would tell them. _

_"Well, it had been at Hogwarts, actually." Abraxas started, frowning while trying to remember._

_"Of course it was at Hogwarts." Severus huffed. "Dad never left the castle during the first two years or so."_

_"No, he didn't." Abraxas answered, his face going sad for a moment. "That castle somehow seemed the only place where your father had felt safe. However, yes, it was at Hogwarts I've met your father for the first time. I've been over to arrange your education, Lucius. You've been five by then and it was high time I registered you for sure. I've left you in the care of Dobby and apparated to Hogsmead from where I walked towards the castle. On my way, just before I passed the gates I heard Albus' voice, telling someone to immediately turn and as he sounded rather worried, or irritated, I have drawn my wand, fearing that there might have been a problem."_

_Chuckling, the older wizard shook his head at the memory before he called for Dobby and then ordered tea for the three of them. _

_"However, the moment I went through the gates, I didn't know what to make of the scene in front of me." Abraxas then continued. "There was no attack or something similar like I first had feared. Walking towards me – walking backwards, mind you – had been a student of about thirteen, a third year therefore, while following this student, and telling him to turn around and to walk forwards, was one headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. But why, that's fun, the boy had asked, laughing all the way, and Albus had scolded at him, telling him that he would fall and hurt himself, that he would run into something or someone, and I can tell that Albus had been pretty annoyed. But the boy had laughed and had said he wouldn't fall and that it was fun. Fun indeed it had been the moment he had run into me!"_

_"You could've stepped aside, Abraxas." Severus said, smiling. _

_"Yes, I could have, Severus." The older wizard smiled back. "But one does not see every day how Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of all times and headmaster of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry is trying to persuade a third year – effortlessly, I might add – to stop behaving like a three year old. I simply was stunned at the sight and so I simply haven't been able to step aside in time before Janos stumbled into my person, backwards, falling onto his behind and unsettling me as well in the process."_

_"But dad hadn't been thirteen." Severus shook his head, his brows furrowed in confusion. _

_"No, but he looked like a thirteen year old back then and honestly, I've been startled just as well the moment I've learned that he actually was … seventeen." Abraxas said and Lucius was sure that he originally had wanted to say a different age. Curiously he looked over at Severus who had narrowed his black eyes just as well, the young man had heard the near slip of tongue as well as had he. _

_"However," Abraxas quickly continued. "As I still had my wand drawn when I fell after your father had me unsettled in such a childish way, I – accidentally – had aimed it at Albus when I fell and as I at the same time somehow had tried to keep myself from falling too hard and therefore had – in my mind somehow – thought of a levitating spell, I have, well, levitated Albus through the yard."_

_Lucius was laughing now and looking over at Severus he could see his friend trying to somehow keep himself from laughing too hard just as well._

_"You actually levitated Albus through the yard at Hogwarts?" The black haired young man asked. "How many students were present to witness this?"_

_"Luckily for Albus – or for all of us if I think it through – no one." Abraxas said. "The problem was that by that time, I've been laughing so hard, I simply wasn't able to levitate Albus back to the grounds and the more Albus struggled, the more I laughed, I couldn't help it, it was just too funny."_

_"Strange." Severus chuckled. "You do realize, Abraxas, that each time you have an encounter with my father, he's falling or running into you?"_

_"Now that you mention it, Severus … yes, I do realize that." Abraxas nodded at the younger of the two boys, trying to look sternly – and failing. "It must be either a Gryffindor habit or your father only owns this particular talent, running people over and falling atop of them. However, it was a sight I won't forget ever again."_

_"I can imagine." Lucius said, taking a deep breath to calm his laugher. "I would have liked seeing this."_

_"Hmm." Abraxas made. "Janos thought the same. He too was sitting there on his behind on the ground, tears running down his face while laughing. Until I finally managed to somehow calm myself and levitate Albus back to the ground and the man glared at first me and then Janos with a stuttered 'you … you' … At that moment Janos looked rather scared, really scared not scared like a third year student after such a prank would look, but really scared and he actually backed away from Albus. However, that backing away seemed to have been what had turned Albus apparent anger into something else I never had seen in the headmaster's eyes before. Worry, and regret, and … love."_

_"Albus does love dad." Severus quietly said and Lucius could find no trace of laugher on his face anymore. He knew what Severus was thinking, he knew that Severus knew why Janos had backed away from Albus back then. If he, Lucius, had been five, then it must have been about half a year after Janos had come to Hogwarts, and back then … well, it had taken more than half a year until Janos had started losing his fear, until he had started trusting the people around him, at least Albus, Minerva, Poppy and Abraxas. He doubted that Janos had ever trusted anyone else at all._

_"Yes, he does." The older wizard said. "He loves him like a son and he loves you like a grandson, Severus. However, I've been startled at that reaction, but Albus rather quickly had managed to calm the boy and soon Janos was laughing again and he had dragged me through the castle to show me something, me, his partner in crime. I've been pretty annoyed at that, being dragged through the castle by a thirteen year old child, by a third year student, but seeing that Albus had told me to come to his office in half an hour, Janos apparently thought that I had enough time for visiting him in the meantime. I still don't know how it was that he trusted me back then already enough while he trusted no one else, I really don't know, but – what he wanted to show me, was you, Severus. He had dragged me to his rooms and had showed you to me, telling me that you were his son. I didn't believe him at first, and I told him so, that surely a thirteen year old couldn't be the father of a three or four year old. Well, he looked at me startled for a moment, nearly hurt even, before he started laughing again, telling me that he were seventeen."_

_"Bet you've been the one startled then." Lucius smiled at his father. _

_"Indeed." Abraxas smiled. "And not only over the fact that Janos actually had been seventeen while looking like a thirteen year old, but also over the fact that a seventeen year old had acted in such a childish way, walking backwards in front of the headmaster while said headmaster tried to convince him to walking forwards and then running over other people. However, I guess not only Janos had felt something back then, but me too, apparently, because from that very day on we've become very close friends."_

_"If you call one person getting the other one into trouble all the time friendship – then yes, it was a very close friendship." Lucius drawled teasingly._

_"Hey!" Severus called out, glaring at Lucius. _

_"I have to admit that not only Janos had gotten me into trouble. I too have gotten him into trouble from time to time." Abraxas said, smiling at both. "And I'm glad that this friendship continues in both our sons."_

**End flashback**

Yes, he could understand his father's friendship to Severus' father. Both of them had been good for each other and he missed not only Abraxas, but Janos as well. As much as Janos had refused being an uncle to him, in secret, the man always had been just this, and he definitely had been his favorite uncle.

His father wouldn't have died with Janos around during that last raid they had been at, trying to round up some of the remaining Death Eaters. Janos would have kept Abraxas alive, like he always had done, like _Abraxas_ always had kept _Janos_ alive. He had seen the both of them fighting, and no one had been able to fight with one of them together like those two had fought together. It not only had been a fight, it had been a dance, a dance on a tightrope, but a dance.

Well, he had Severus left, and Severus and he, Lucius, they were as close as Janos and Abraxas had been. Abraxas had been right, their friendship had continued through their sons.

He knew that he should be with Severus today. Abraxas would have been with Janos today if …

**Flashback**

_"What do you want?"_

_"I want to be here for you today, Janos."_

_"I do not appreciate your presence, Abraxas, just leave."_

_"I won't, Janos. Not today."_

_"You either leave by free will or I'll hex you into the next universe."_

_"You may try, my friend, but I won't leave you alone today."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"I want to be here for you."_

_"I've killed at least 50 students, children, I've killed my friends, my parents, my godfather and other people. You really seek the company of a murderer?"_

_"You have not …"_

_"Shut up! I have killed them! I'm responsible for all of their deaths."_

_"You're not, Janos. You've fought in a war and in a war people die."_

_"I've killed a student, and four adults even before the last battles. They didn't just die in a war."_

_"You've been a child and you're not responsible for their deaths. You …"_

_"I am! You don't know! Just shut up and piss off!"_

_"No, I won't just 'piss off', Janos. You can do what you want, I won't leave you alone today."_

_"Why? I don't need you're pity!"_

_"You don't have my pity. But I'll give you the comfort you deserve and that no one else dares to give you on this particular day as no one dares to come near you."_

_"You too should leave. I'm a murderer after all."_

_"You're not a murderer and I'll tell you this a thousand times more if I have to. You've been a child and you've fought in a war, Janos, and in a war people die. Even Cederic and your godfather have died as war victims. Not during the last battles but during the war and as victims of the war. You have not killed them. Cederic and your godfather had been killed by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. You only have been an innocent child, Janos!"_

_"You don't know what I've done! I've cast the unforgivables! I belong into Azkaban! I've killed with the killing curse and I've even used the imperious, and the cruciatus. I'm no better than the Death Eaters are! I'm a murderer, I'm a freak, a monster!"_

_"You're none of those things, Janos."_

_"Am!"_

_"No, you're not. And you only have used the unforgivables because you didn't have any other chance. You did what you had to do in order to not only survive but in order to end this war, Janos. You're not the …"_

_"SHUT UP FINALLY and leave while you still can, you bastard! I don't want to hear it! I am …"_

_"I won't and you can't make me!"_

_"TRY ME! I want you to JUST GO!"_

_"And I won't!"_

_"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

_"THEN TELL ME YOU IDIOT!"_

_"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"_

_"IT IS AS YOU'RE MY FRIEND!"_

_"I'M NOT! WE'RE NO FRIENDS!"_

_"STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!"_

_"JUST PISS OFF FINALLY!"_

_"NO, I WON'T!"_

_"ABICIO CORPUS!"_

_"PROTECTO!"_

_"MOBILICORPUS!"_

_"PROTEGO!"_

_SERPENSORTIA!"_

_"SALVIO HEXIA!"_

_"INSCENDIO!"_

_"AQUAMENTI!"_

_"STUPIFY!"_

_"CAVE INIMICUM!"_

**_"REDUCTO!"_**

**_"IMPEDIMENTA!"_**

**_"CONFUNDO! – OBSCURE! …"_**

_**"EXPELLIARMUS! – PETRIFICUS TOTALUS – SILENCIO!** It is enough, Janos! … It is enough! You will listen now, you idiot! You …"_

**End flashback**

He had heard the pain in Janos' voice back then and he had been sure that Janos had been crying.

He still didn't know if any of the two had noticed them there.

His father had brought him to Minerva, where Severus had been sleeping that night, like he always had during the night from February, 1st to February, 2nd. And Abraxas had taken him to Minerva before he had left for Janos' room, even if everyone had warned him about that, had told him that Janos wouldn't even keep from using hexes to keep himself alone at this very day – and night.

But Abraxas had not cared, had been there, and he, Lucius, had secretly followed his father together with Severus, and he immediately had known that Janos had meant what he had said, the pained voice being accompanied by the sound of glass and other things breaking. Apparently Janos had not only screamed at Abraxas, but had thrown things as well – before he had started throwing curses.

Severus had been deathly pale back then, after hearing his father's words, and when Minerva had found them in the corridor outside of Janos' quarters after she had realized that they had been gone, she immediately had brought both of them to Poppy where Severus had broken down too, crying and sobbing and he still didn't know how long it had taken Poppy to calm the younger one of the two boys down and to convince him that Janos Amity's words hadn't been true, that he only had said them out of pain over the loss of so many friends, that he had not been responsible for their deaths, that only _he_ believed this because he couldn't see anything else. The other boy had been more than just upset at his father's words.

"Then I'll make him see!" Severus finally had sobbed. "I'll make him see that he's wrong."

"Yes, child, you do just this." Poppy had smiled at him. "But not before you are much older. You only would call your father's wrath upon you unnecessarily."

"Don't care!" Severus had said stubbornly.

"Let the adults handle your father for now, child." Minerva too had said, but he remembered that – even if Severus never had said anything about his father's words they had overheard, the black haired boy had tried his best to make his father see that he was not a monster.

And Abraxas too had never given up on the man either, had been with him on this very day year for year, for year and he remembered that year for year, for year Abraxas had left Janos' room with colorful bruises all over his body where the younger man's hexes had hit him, Janos Amity physically trying to get him to leave, trying to physically hurt him even so he may leave him alone when his words had not been enough to keep the man away while Abraxas had tried to defend himself without hurting the younger and smaller Gryffindor.

He remembered how miserable Janos always had been afterwards, barely able to look Abraxas into the eyes, apologizing over and over again for weeks and trying to make it alright again. It had gotten easier with the years, Janos at least had stopped hexing him at one point or another during those years, but he knew that it had been a struggle for his father each year at that particular day.

He too should be with Severus now, but he knew that his presence wouldn't be welcomed, just like his father's presence hadn't been welcomed by Severus' father back then.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1984 – Amity Manor – 11:14 pm**

Sighing tiredly Severus closed his eyes and leaned his head back at the backrest of the armchair he was sitting in, oblivious to the painting of Janos Amity watching him sadly. He never would piece all those pieces together. With each entry he read only more questions presented themselves at him even if one or two questions might be answered by them.

Each year he thought he was a bit closer to solving at least one of all those riddles that had surrounded his father, and each year he had to capitulate, noticing that no, by the end of the day, he wasn't any wiser.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_July, 31st 1985 – Janos Amity's fifth anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	6. because you are mine

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

December, 12th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_Sighing tiredly Severus closed his eyes and leaned his head back at the backrest of the armchair he was sitting in, oblivious to the painting of Janos Amity watching him sadly. He never would piece all those pieces together. With each entry he read only more questions presented themselves at him even if one or two questions might be answered by them._

_Each year he thought he was a bit closer to solving at least one of all those riddles that had surrounded his father, and each year he had to capitulate, noticing that no, by the end of the day, he wasn't any wiser. _

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter six **

**Because you are mine**

**July, 31st 1985 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

It had been another year since his father's death, and it had been not a pleasant year.

He had taken his father's journal with him to Hogwarts and he actually had continued reading in the black leather bound book throughout the year. Not often, but every now and then, more often than he had in the past at least and what he had learned from that book …

Well, it simply was startling to read about Janos Amity being so afraid and uncoordinated with his entries, about Janos Amity admitting it so freely, that he was afraid. He never had done so in later years after all. But well – he had been a child back then, hadn't he? And of course he would be scared after seeing so many battles, after seeing so many of his friends being killed, after fighting in a terrible war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, after being abused by his own living relatives for years.

And despite all the horrors the man had seen in his youth, despite abuse and war, he had managed to become strong and gentle in later years, loving him with an intensity he, Severus, could still feel lingering like a whisper of his father's life. No one ever had seen how much Janos Amity had loved him, aside from Lucius, Abraxas, Minerva and Albus, and there even had been some who had tried to tell him that Janos Amity surely wouldn't love him at all as he was a Slimy Slytherin whereas Janos had been a Gryffindor.

**Flashback**

_"Hey, Snivellus, searching for something to use on innocent students?" Black's voice coming from beside him caused him to look up from his book and he groaned in near frustration. He was back at Hogwarts for his third year since only two weeks now and already Black started to get on his nerves. Potter had backed away somewhat since his dad had started teaching defence here at Hogwarts last year, at the latest when his dad had had a very serious talk with the boy, but not so Black and he got really annoying. _

_Of course his father had had a serious talk with Black as well, but this boy – contraire to Potter – had not ceased his annoyingly behaviour. He didn't know what his dad had talked about with both boys, but he knew that his dad had not mentioned their teasing him, knowing that then they only would have continued teasing him secretly – and most likely just the more so. However, it had worked with Potter, not so with Black, as it seemed._

_"What do you want, Black?" He asked, looking over at the Gryffindor coolly._

_"Asking you something, Snivellus." Black said, sitting into a chair opposite the table he was sitting at in the charms section where he was about to meet Lily later on, placing his feet onto a chair beside the one he'd sat at. _

_"And what makes you think I would give you any information, Black?" He asked back, scowling._

_"Oh, I won't need an answer from you, Snivellus." Black smirked and his scowl at the boy deepened. "I just wondered – why our dear Defence Master, Janos Amity, has a different surname than you, Snape."_

_"That's none of your business, Black." Severus growled darkly, continuing reading. _

_"He has adopted you, hasn't he?" Black asked smirking at him and Severus once more looked over at the other boy._

_"Like I said, that's none of your business." Severus simply answered. He surely would not discuss his familial status with that particular idiot._

_"I guess he has." Black continued, still smirking. "I just wonder – why Amity never gave you his surname when he did so, Snape." He then said before laughing. "As I said – I don't need an answer, your face is an answer in itself, Snape!" Black smirked before getting off his chair and leaving the library, leaving behind an annoyed Severus Snape who actually wondered – yes, why had his father never given him his surname?_

**End flashback**

Of course he now knew why his father had not changed his surname into Amity when he had adopted him. He had stumbled over that particular entry in the older wizard's journal just a few weeks ago, and he actually could understand this reason, but back then it had actually thrown him off his usual balance he had learned from his father. He had started being unsure about his father for days back then, until the man had noticed and then had a serious word with him.

**Flashback**

_"You're playing with your food again, Severus." His father said and Severus scowled at the fried potatoes he was shoving from one side of his plate to the other, neither looking up at his father, nor giving him an answer._

_"Severus!" Soon came the stricter tone he had known would come. "Please do eat instead of shoving your potatoes around your plate."_

_He didn't know what it was that made him acting the way he did right now. He didn't exactly want making his father angry at him, and he didn't exactly want making his father upset either, but something made him acting the way he was right now, disobedient and childish. And he knew that it was disobedient and childish. And yet – he simply couldn't help it._

_"Severus, please!" His father tried again. "You are scrawny enough to begin with and you need to eat more than you do lately. If you are not hungry, then I can understand, but you …"_

_"Leave me alone, dad!" He snapped at his father, emphasizing the word 'dad' and getting to his feet. _

_For a moment he was startled himself, but then he inwardly shrugged his shoulders and scowled at his father defiantly. _

_Janos Amity looked at him for a moment before leaning back in his chair calmly, his face getting pale but his eyes looking at him thoughtfully and steady. _

_"Sit back down please, Severus." He then said after having taken a deep breath._

_"No, I won't!" He again snapped at his father, still irritated at his own actions. Why did he do this? He could see the pain in those blasted, damn green eyes of his father and he knew that he was unfair. So – why did he? And yet he couldn't keep himself from continuing. "You can't tell me what to do! You can't make me! You're not my father!"_

_"You are wrong, Severus." His father said and he could see that he had to grip his cup of coffee to keep his fingers from trembling. "Because I am your father. I have adopted you and that makes me your father. You are however right, and I can't make you, not without forcing you to, and not without using physical means – what you exactly well know I won't. I however do expect you that you obey my word out of respect to your elders and out of respect to the knowledge that I never would physically force you to do anything. I think that I have earned this kind of respect from you and I think out of this respect you should do as I say without being forced to."_

_How did his father do this?_

_How could his father being so logically and calm all the time? How did he manage making him doing things he didn't like doing? How did he always manage making him see his mistakes? He knew that his father was right. He knew that his father had adopted him and that he did all to make him happy and healthy and … and … and anything. He knew that his father took nothing for himself but gave everything to him, Severus, never mind how tired he was and never mind how busy he was. He always laid everything aside and concentrated onto him, Severus, alone whenever he came to the older wizard with a problem. He knew that. And he knew that alone for that reason he should do as the older wizard said. _

_Slowly he sat back down onto the chair he had been sitting earlier._

_"I do thank you, Severus. And now tell me, what is the problem?" His father asked, calmly, not even scolding him for the tone he'd used despite the fact that a moment before he had acted like a disobedient imbecile. _

_"You don't even care about me anyway!" Severus accused, even if he felt bad at the same time. He knew that he was unfair and still he didn't know why in Merlin's name he acted so idiotic – not to mention disrespectful towards his father that loved him so much, that had adopted him and that had given him anything any father could have given his son. And he knew that his father loved him, he knew that his father cared for him, despite his own words. "So just leave me alone!"_

_"What makes you thinking that I wouldn't care about you, Severus?" His father asked and Severus right now actually had to look aside for a moment, not able to meet those green eyes that looked at him so sadly right now. But then he shrugged this off just as well and looked back at the older wizard, again defiantly._

_"You don't even care enough to give me your name!" Severus then snapped, scowling at his father angrily. "I know what it means when someone gives his name away to a person he takes into the family. But you never did so, you don't care enough about me to take me into your family completely!"_

_He watched his father with narrowed eyes and for a moment the older wizard closed his eyes and slumped in his chair as if being tired and he then actually regretted his comment, his actions. He knew how much his father cared about him and he knew that his accusation had really hurt him. Had it been worth, seeing this tired and sad look on his father's face just so that he would get an answer that wasn't important anyway? _

_His father loved him and gave him all he ever could give him, he did care for him, and that was the most important thing after all, wasn't it?_

_A moment later his dad had himself back under control and he shoved his chair to the side a bit, leaned over and pulled his chair, the one he, Severus, was sitting at, closer to him so that he sat directly in front of him now, so that he could look at him without the table between them. _

_"Look at me, Severus, please." His father said and his voice sounded so sad that he actually had to force himself to do as the older wizard had asked of him, sad and tired, as if he were much older than he actually was and Severus knew that he wasn't old yet. And the moment he actually looked at the face of the man that had adopted him years ago, he hitched a breath. The emerald green eyes that fixed him right now were filled with a pain he never before had seen in them and he suddenly was ready to do anything just to make it go away and to take back his words._

_Merlin, this time he really had messed up!_

_"No, Severus." His father said the moment he opened his mouth to apologize. "No. Do not apologize for your words, because they had been spoken with reason and you had the right to get upset over this. I have adopted you and I have taken you away from your biological father. But despite what you may think, Severus, I did take you into the family, as small as this family might be. There are more than one ways to take someone into the family, Severus, and I have done so not by giving you my name, but by adopting you by blood."_

_Well, those words made him feeling even more miserable and again he opened his mouth to apologize, but again his father lifted his hand to stop him._

_"No, Severus, I told you to not apologize for a reasonable confrontation." The man said. "I cannot tell you the reason as to why I did not give you my name, Severus, and I am not sure if I ever will, but it has a reason. It is important that you remain Severus Snape. It will be very important for your future life. You are the last remaining Snape and it is important that this name does not die yet. Do not ask me to explain it closer to you right now as I won't give you an answer, but believe me, child, it had nothing to do with not accepting you as my son or in my family. Just know, that I do love you with all my heart, child, and I always will do so, never mind what – because you are mine, Severus! You are mine, and I never, absolutely never, will give up on you! I do love you, and I do care for you, even if you sometimes think I don't. But I do, because you are mine!"_

_"Ok, dad." He finally said, whispered. "I'm sorry though." He then quickly added before his father could stop him again. He just had to say this. "I didn't want making you angry or feeling bad."_

_"I know." His dad simply said, sadly, tiredly._

_And a moment later he couldn't resist getting off his chair and going over to the man, wrapping his arms around his father's neck._

_"Love you too." He whispered into the older wizard's ear._

_"I know, child." Janos Amity repeated, pulling him up until he was sitting in his lap and wrapping his arms around him as well. "You've been feeling hurt and you had the right for feeling hurt, and so you only wanted a confrontation that would clear things. I do understand this, child, and I'm not angry with you about this. Alright?"_

_He couldn't answer, not verbally at least, not now, and so he simply nodded his head against his father's shoulder where it was resting at. _

_"Are we alright, again, Severus?" The man then asked and again he simply nodded. "Good, then will you be able to go back to eating normally now, child?" The next question came and Severus couldn't help grinning while he again nodded his head. Of course Janos Amity would not let him off the table so easily – not that it would have been necessary as he actually was hungry and his appetite was back after all._

_"Good, then do just this, son."_

**End flashback **

Yes, it had been just that – he had wanted to confront his father, even if back then as a child he had not known that this indeed had been his intent. And again he remembered the entry he had read just weeks ago.

'_September,14th1973_

_Today Severus asked me why I did not give him my name. I should have known that this question would come one day, but honestly, back then, when I did adopt Severus, I never thought that he might ask this question one day. And yet – it is so logically, it startles me that I didn't think about that. _

_But even if I would have thought about that, I simply couldn't have given him my name. _

_First for the reason I have given him today. The name Snape would die and that cannot be happen. I'm not sure why, but I somehow know that the name Severus Snape will play an important role in the future, and honestly, there are so many things I do not know, I only can go by my gut feeling. Playing with the timeline, it is difficult enough and there are a lot of situations I have to consider carefully. And one of these situations had been back then when I decided to not name Severus with the surname Amity._

_Now, ten years later, I don't know for sure if I'm correct concerning Severus' name and the future, but back then I was a fifteen year old child and I had to make a rush but very important decision after I have stumbled thirty years into the past just an hour ago and after I had lost everything and anyone. I did what I thought was the best thing back then. _

_However, another reason is – I have been to Gringotts to have a look at the Prince vault. Not to take anything but to have a clue what Severus' would need in future for his education and for taking time with his Potions Mastery. I never would interfere with this wish and ability of his even if I know that he will be a very hard taskmaster that will make my life very miserable at Hogwarts. What I however found was, that his mother's vault at Gringotts does not go by the name of Prince anymore, but by the name of Snape. Apparently Eileen Prince had signed all her possession over to Tobias Snape, that foolish woman! But well, as I have blood adopted Severus, I'm not sure what it would do to him concerning his mother's vault if I had given him the name Amity. _

_I know that I won't be there for him always and even if I have already made sure that Severus will be provided with not only this manor but with any other possession I've collected over the years, including enough money so he will be able to do his Potions Mastery and lay low for a few years until he will have made a name with his potions, I think that he maybe will need his mother's heritage, not to mention that it rightfully is his. _

_And another reason is – the name Amity, I simply have made up this name at the spur of the moment back then. I knew that I couldn't have gone by my real name anymore, it simply was impossible and so I needed a new name, and quickly. I don't know what made me choosing the name Janos Amity, but I also knew that I could not have Severus living with a name that did not really exist, that only was made up in haste. _

_There had been so many important decisions I had to make back then and I only can hope that he one day will understand. I only can hope that he still knows how much I love him and that I always will, that I always will be there for him, never mind what.'_

"I do understand, dad." Severus whispered with a sigh when remembering this entry. "I do understand and I know how much you loved me and cared for me. I never should have put you through this kind of pain, and I'm sorry I did."

Well, for a moment he had cursed at that entry after reading it.

'_I knew that I couldn't have gone by my real name anymore, it simply was impossible and so I needed a new name, and quickly.'_

He had hoped that his father would have written down his real name, that he maybe would have written _'__I __knew __that __I __couldn__'__t __have __gone __by__ the __name__ of __Steven __Johnson __any more, __it __simply __was __impossible__ and __so __I __needed __a __new __name,__ and__ quickly.__'_ Or that maybe he might have written down _'__by __the __name __of __Gerald __Henson, __Jason __Smith __or __Jennifer __Jackson__'_ for the sake of him! But no – _'__by__ my__ real__ name__'_ that blasted man that had been his father had written!

Sighing he ran his hand over his face, tiredly.

Of course he did understand, and of course he knew that Janos always had loved him, that he always had been there for him, that he had given everything, every ounce of strength and every second of his life for the sole thing to make him, Severus, happy and to prepare him for what he was now – a respectable Potions Master that was a proud man and standing with both feet in his life.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1985 – Malfoy Mansion – 09:14 pm**

The fire flaring in the parlour made Lucius looking up and a moment later he frowned when seeing Severus' head sitting in the fireplace, but immediately a small smile crossed his face and he got off the armchair and went over to the fire. It was the day of Janos' death and he hadn't thought that Severus would contact him today of all days.

"Severus!" He called out. He really was happy that his friend was seeking his presence today.

"I have a bottle of mead, Lucius, and you know what both our fathers always said – _'you do not drink mead alone or you'll drop dead within the second'_."

"Oh, we wouldn't want that, Severus, come through with your bottle of mead before one of us dies today." Lucius smirked and stepped aside to allow Severus through, and a moment later the youngest Potions Master still in Great Britain stood in front of him, the bottle of mead in his hands, looking at him somewhat sheepishly.

He went to the cabin in one corner of the parlour to get two clay mugs and then went back to the table.

"You know, mead is to be drunk from clay mugs or drinking horns only, or you'll drop dead within the moment." Lucius explained, still smirking. "Janos always said so."

"Yes, I remember." Severus shook his head at his friend's antics. "So get over with those clay mugs of yours." Really, sometimes Lucius could be as idiotic and annoying as Abraxas had been. And Abraxas had learned this particular trait from Janos, he realized with a sigh of frustration. It all came down to Janos Amity. Janos Amity had entered this world, this timeline, and he had turned everything upside down, had turned Abraxas, the proud Malfoy heir into an annoying fool that openly grinned and laughed, hugging his son, and he had turned Lucius, the next proud Malfoy heir into an annoying fool that openly grinned and laughed, joking around openly.

But well, yes – this had been Janos Amity. As serious and as wary he always had been, he nevertheless had been free in one small way or another.

"Are you moping, Severus?" Lucius asked when he approached his yearlong friend and reached him one of the mugs filled with now hot and steaming mead. The slightly younger wizard's eyes snapped back into reality and then towards the mug of mead he was holding out towards him.

"You cast a heating charm at those mugs?" Severus asked, lifting his eyebrow at the blond man.

"Mead has to be drunk hot, your father always said so." Lucius answered. "Otherwise one would drop dead immediately."

"I know." Severus growled. "But one does not heat mead with magic without dropping dead within a second."

"I do not have such a nice fireplace in my parlour like your father had at Amity Manor." Lucius shook his head. "I do remember that he had standing two clay mugs of mead there on this oven whenever we visited. And my father always eyed those mugs, impatient, and complaining because it took so long until the mead was hot. I'm sure Janos did this by intent, just to let my father suffer."

"Yes, I would not put it past dad." Severus sighed, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. "On the other hand – you know how dad was. He was one of the strongest and bravest wizards I ever have met, and yet, he so often didn't acknowledge his magic. There had been a lot of things he did the muggle way."

"Like heating mead – to annoy my father." Lucius snickered.

"Yes." Severus agreed with a smile at the memory. "I would have liked talking more with your father about mine. I think, Abraxas was – aside from Albus – the only person that knew more about Janos."

"I'm sure about that, but Abraxas Malfoy was as secretive as has been Janos Amity." Lucius said. "He never told me more than the funny stories he told you as well."

"Hmm." Severus made, taking a sip of the hot drink. "Your father has taken over a lot of habits from mine."

"He gladly never was as clingy and as childish – or as foolish as Janos had been!" Lucius growled with a mock scowl on his face.

"I think no one ever could have been as clingy, childish or foolish as dad has been." Severus sighed. "But I couldn't have wished for a better father ever. He loved me so deeply and so unconditionally, I still can feel his love lingering over me now, five years after he had died. Sometimes, especially after starting to read his journal, I think that he lived for me only."

"Of course he has lived for you only, Severus, or Janos never would have lived in the first place." Lucius said, taking a sip of the mead as well, watching him with a thoughtful and soft expression on his face. "What did you tell me last year? He has seen someone laying there, dead, someone he had disliked but respected deeply, and someone he had felt had not deserved dying, someone who should have been free after this war. Someone who's death had unsettled him so much that he had asked fate for help. You know that fate answering a call for help only occurs in – what? Once about a thousand years? I don't know, Severus, but I think that it could have been _you_ whom he had seen dead. It would explain as to why he found _you_ after all, that day he came into our timeline. And you know what? I can't help thinking that Janos has managed to do a little miracle, my friend, so that you still can feel his love lingering over you. He has become your father, and if a father sacrifices everything, gives everything, uses all his strength to live for his son and for his son alone, if a father takes nothing for granted and nothing for himself, if a father fights for his son until death, then miracles happen."

"I would appreciate a miracle in form of finding out who dad was." Severus mused. "He was fifteen in 1995, or rather he will be fifteen in 1995 – so, he already is born. He must be five now."

"You do realize that this sounds really weird, Severus?" Lucius asked with a frown on his face.

"I do." Severus smirked. "But Janos Amity was weird, wasn't he?"

"I guess yes, you're right, and even after his death his weirdness hounds us." The blond wizard smirked back at him.

"Which young wizards that will attend Hogwarts were born in 1980?" Severus asked, frowning, more to himself than really asking Lucius. "The Longbottom boy, but he has been a friend of dad and so it can't be him."

"The Weasleys have a five year old son as well." Lucius mused. "But they are all red haired, I've never seen him, but I doubt that they have a boy with black hair amongst them. Except Molly had – well, you know."

"Molly never would and no, the Weasley boy had been a friend of dad – or will be one. You can cross him out." Severus shook his head, grimacing at the thought.

"Draco was born 1980." Lucius smirked at him.

"Idiot!" Severus growled darkly.

"Just a suggestion …" Lucius shrugged his shoulders. "Crabbe and Goyle you can cross out, I know those idiots and neither of them can be Janos."

"I am so glad to hear this, dear Lucius!" Severus grimaced even more now.

"I thought so, yes." The slightly older wizard now right out laughed.

"You also can cross out the Zabini boy." Severus said. "I've never seen him, but seeing that both his parents are black, he'll be as well."

"It could be Nott." Lucius frowned.

"It could be." Severus admitted, also frowning. "As well as Finnigan, Goldstein, McMillan or Summerby."

"I doubt Summerby." Lucius shook his head. "Neither parent of him has a sibling, but Janos had an aunt and uncle."

"Well, then I don't know of any other child being born in 1980." Severus sighed.

"What about Potter?" Lucius asked.

"I highly doubt this." Severus shook his head.

"He's living with his aunt and uncle, isn't he?" Lucius asked. "His parents are both dead."

"Yes." Severus growled darkly. "But one – Janos has been neglected and abused by his uncle and Potter is growing up protected and perished by his aunt and uncle. He is the boy who lived after all and Albus made sure that he is well cared for. Second – the Dursleys have a child of their own and he is growing up together with his cousin, they won't abuse one child and not the other as well, that would be a bit weird. And third - Potter might live with his aunt and uncle, and they might be muggles, yes, but Petunia knows of the wizarding world, having grown up with Lily after all. They wouldn't be too shocked about Potter being a wizard and that it is why muggles abuse their wizarding children to begin with, because they do not understand their accidental magic and because they do not know how to handle a wizarding child. Not to mention that a child of Potter surely wouldn't be anything like Janos had been."

"He's Lily's son as well, Severus." Lucius quietly said.

"I know." Was all Severus said and they dropped the subject, Lucius watching Severus closely and Severus shaking his head once more, sure that Potter never could be Janos Amity.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1985 – Amity Manor – 11:14 pm**

'_I've seen him laying there, dead, and I knew that it was wrong. He shouldn't have died. And especially not like this. No one ever had seen it, but he had not only been a git, he had been a very proud man and he had been a very brave man too. Dunno why, but I've known that I had to do something and … I just don't know. Maybe because he'd been the only one ever who never lied to me. He was harsh, a real bastard sometimes, and I'm sure he really had enjoyed all those things he ever said to me, to hurt me, but at least he never had lied to me.'_

So – at least maybe – he had been a Potions Master at Hogwarts back then in his father's original timeline as well, and so he had been a git, harsh and a bastard sometimes as Janos had described him, but the boy his father had been back then apparently nevertheless had seen something more in him, even if he apparently had hurt him with his words.

Namely that he never had lied to that boy – well, he never lied. He always called a spade a spade and he never euphemized things, never mind how harsh his words were. And yet – that boy that had became Janos and then his father, he had seen beyond his harsh words, beyond his hurting words and he had appreciated that he had not lied to him. How many people had lied to that child so that he was so grateful that he, Severus, had never done the same?

'_I never would interfere with this wish and ability of his even if I know that he will be a very hard taskmaster that will make my life very miserable at Hogwarts.'_

So, he had made his father's life at Hogwarts very miserable – and nevertheless he had taken him as his son and had loved him, despite the knowledge that he would do so once again in the future, he had always supported him in becoming a Potions Master. His father could have used his influence to get him becoming something different, but he had not. Again that blasted man had not thought at himself or his own future but at him, Severus, his son!

'_And right now Severus is laying on the bed, sleeping finally, and he looks so innocent, so different from what I remember him. Who would have thought that our dear Potions Master had been such a cute child? I'm sure he would skin me alive and use my body parts in one of his nastier potions if he knew that I just called him cute. But he is cute. I have him since a week only, but already I love this small child so much and I don't understand how and why and …' _

Yes, he could imagine that Janos had already loved him a week only after he had adopted him, because that had been Janos, it simply was that man's ways to love those he did love quickly, deeply and unconditionally. He knew that there had not been much people he had loved like this, but those he had loved like this – he knew that Janos would have died for all of them without even batting an eye, without thinking about it for a split second and without just a moment's regret.

That boy leaving his timeline over seeing him dead, a man that apparently had hurt him, and badly so as it seemed, had – he only could guess but he was sure that it was a good guess – disliked him, had made him feel this dislike, it was telling enough. And _if_ it had been him, dying there, then that would explain a lot.

**Flashback**

_"Severus." His dad said, quietly, while he tightened the grip of his arms he had around him._

_They were both laying on the sofa, watching the telly his dad had insisted on installing in their home, the older wizard leaning against the armrest and his feet laying on the seat, and he, Severus, laying in his father's arms he had around his upper body and he didn't even feel awkward despite the fact that he already was fifteen._

_"Hmm?" He made, turning his head in his father's arms so that he could look at the man. _

_"I want you to promise me something, Severus, and it really is important, very important." His dad then said. "I have brewed a special venom that is the only cure for a particular snake poison. It is a very large and deathly snake that belongs to Voldemort and goes by the name of Nagini, and if bitten by it, you would die within a few minutes only. I want you to promise me to carry a vial of this venom with you all the time, never mind where you go and never tell anyone that you have it. It is important that Voldemort remains oblivious about the venom in your possession and it is important that you have it close by all the times. It won't kill you if you drink it after you are bitten by Nagini, but do not drink it when being bitten by a simple normal snake, because it is poisonous in itself. It only will neutralize the snake poison of this particular snake that is the familiar of Voldemort."_

_"How do I know that it is this snake?" He asked, with a frown, not really understanding._

_"You will know the moment you see her, Severus." His dad answered. "Just remember, this snake is very, very large, nearly as large as a basilisk, and it is Voldemort's familiar that goes by the name of Nagini. He is keeping her close all the times as he had made her a horcrux."_

_"That's evil!" He growled, scowling._

_"Yes, it is." His father nodded his head. "But Voldemort is evil. Never underestimate him or his evilness, never believe a word he says should you ever meet him, and know that he would kill you without a reason and just because it might be his wish – or because you are my son."_

_"I promise." He said, not ready to let Voldemort or discussion of that man destroy the last few hours of his father's birthday. "I'll carry a vial of that venom with me all the time, and I won't tell anyone."_

_"Thank you, Severus." Was all Janos said, tightening his arms around him once again._

**End flashback**

Well, yes – considering his father's first entry in his journal, considering Lucius' suggestion earlier, this conversation held so many years ago, ten years ago to be precise, suddenly made much more sense. And yes, he meanwhile knew what his father had meant back then as well. He had seen the snake that was Voldemort's familiar, about three or four years after that particular conversation when he had accompanied his father, Lucius and Abraxas to one of the raids for Death Eaters – against his father's wish, mind you – but well, he had been of age back then and he simply had come with them – after promising his father that he would do nothing foolish.

It had been his first raid on Death Eaters and they had been so close to getting Voldemort, and then he had seen that snake and he had been frozen for a moment until his father had taken him at the scuff of his neck and pulled him out from the middle of the corridors at Riddle Manor and into the shadows. He had been sure that it not only had been _nearly_ as large as a basilisk but that it indeed had _been_ one!

That man had done all to protect him and he had thought of every possible outcomes or situations so that most people had called him paranoid. But he only had done so because he had loved him, Severus, so much and wanted him to be safe. He would like doing the same now for that child that would become his father one day, but at the same time he knew that most likely he never would find that boy that one day would become Janos Amity – or had been Janos Amity – he really didn't know how he should name that yet and he realized that yes, Lucius definitely was right, his father had been a weird man and he had entered this timeline and had turned everything and everyone upside down.

There simply were too many wizarding boys all over the world born in the year 1980 – and he couldn't be sure that Janos Amity really had been born in Great Britain. He knew for sure that Janos had been able to speak Norse and Russian. And he also knew that he had been able to at least partly understand Japanese, Spanish and one or another language from one or another tribe of North American Indians – however he had managed learning _that_. So – in the end his father could have been from Norway or from Russia. He doubted it that he really had been from Japan, Spain or North America. He hadn't been able to speak those languages perfectly after all, not to mention that his father neither had the facial features of a Japanese or Native American. And yet – he couldn't be too sure. One _never_ could be sure if it came to Janos Amity! This man had been simply too weird – so yes, Lucius definitely was right in this!

So, in other words – no, he most likely never would find the boy that was Janos Amity, never mind how much he wanted to find that boy.

What had his father always said upon things he couldn't change?

**Flashback**

_"We need a way to get Voldemort down finally." Albus said, shaking his head._

_"This will be a mission impossible to fulfill, Albus." Severus shook his head. "Voldemort is too well protected by his Death Eaters."_

_"It is necessary that we find one way or another." Albus said. "Too many people have died already."_

_"Do not take us the wrong way, Albus, we do know this." His father frowned. "And we both agree on this, but as much as I would like having that madman gone finally, I do not know a safe way and I am not ready to risk someone's life, anyone's life."_

_"Neither am I, Janos." Albus said, piercing the younger wizard with his blue eyes and he was sure that he could see the disappointment in the headmaster's eyes upon being accused by his father, even if only hidden. "But it would be really important."_

_"Of course it would be." Janos shrugged. "But well, Merlin may grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, the courage to change that which I can, and the wisdom to know the one from the other. We simply will have to round up Death Eaters over Death Eaters to at least weaken Voldemort as much as possible – until we maybe might find a safe way to destroy him one day."_

**End flashback**

And right now he knew – as much as he would like finding that boy, it was just another mission impossible. And never mind if he liked it or not, it was an abused child after all and if he _would_ be able finding him, then he would be able to help him, to do for the child what his father had done for him years ago, to take him away from there, but unlike Albus he _did_ have the wisdom to know that which he _could_ change from that which he could _not_ change.

There not only were too many children that had been born 1980 all over the world, but it even could have been possible that there generally was half a year between the two time lines and with a frown he remembered a sentence Janos had written in his journal. It had been in one of the first few entries his father had made back then.

'_I don't know how it is that I disappeared at February, 1st 1995, directly after the last battles but appeared here – and just moments later – at August, 1st 1963. Maybe it was because it was exactly half a year? Maybe it was because I was needed to be here at that exact day? I don't know, really.' _

He didn't know either, but that meant that maybe the child he was searching for hadn't been born 1980 at all but at the end of 1979 or at the beginning of 1981? It could be, maybe, couldn't it?

And yet – he suddenly froze in his seat, unable to move just one muscle. What would happen if he didn't find him?

If he didn't find him, then the life of that boy that would become Janos Amity one day would go on like it had been in his timeline, in the boy's timeline. He would be abused, he would fight in a war and he would lose all his friends. He would be hopeless and despaired, and he would go back to the past.

But what if he went back to the past? Would he again be able to change the future? Would he come in time to take him from Tobias Snape? Or would he arrive moments later when he already was taken away by …

Merlin!

What a mess!

Would his past again change then?

He knew that his past _had_ changed because of Janos. He wasn't stupid and he knew that if Janos had gone back to the past and had taken him from his abusive father, then he had with this step changed his, Severus', past – and life. And he was glad for this. He didn't want his past changing again, because he simply didn't know if it would be for the better or for the worse. He was happy with his past. He'd had a loving father and he had loved his father back, still loved him, even if he was dead. He did not want his past changing again.

But what if there wouldn't be need for the fifteen year old to go back to his, Snape's, timeline because there was no need to? Because there was no dead body of him? And because there had been no bad memories of him the boy might have been witnessed? What would the boy do then, if there was not this way for him out? Would he do something stupid then to deal with the situationn? How was he to …

Merlin!

So – in other words – he would _have_ to find that boy and change his father's future so that he wouldn't feel the need to go back in time again – never mind if it really was a mission impossible all over again.

And again he realized – it was _still_ nearly impossible to solve the puzzle that had been his father, but again – by the end of the day he at least had turned some of them over, by the end of the day he at least had found some that did not fit and by the end of the day he at least knew that his next visit would be at the Longbottom Mansion to have a word with Augusta.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_July, 31st 1986 – Janos Amity's sixth anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …


	7. never ever again

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

January, 1st 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thanks you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Added Author's note:**

Alright, normally this chapter should have gone online on January first – but I simply forgot and so I'll bring it online right now … I hope you won't kill me for the delay … also please remember to add your house to your reviews on this chapter so you may help in keeping the house cup running …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_He didn't know either, but that meant that maybe the child he was searching for hadn't been born 1980 at all but 1979 or 1981? It could be, maybe, couldn't it? Well, as it seemed, it was still nearly impossible to solve the puzzle that had been his father, but again – by the end of the day he at least had turned some of them over, by the end of the day he at least had found some that did not fit and by the end of the day he at least knew that his next visit would be at the Longbottom Mansion to have a word with Augusta._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter seven **

**Never ever again**

**July, 31st 1986 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

This year had been a bit easier than the last ones, Severus reflected while he took the glass with his whiskey to the coffee table in the parlour and then sat down into one of the armchairs.

They were still the same armchairs they had been back then, when Janos had been alive still, he hadn't changed any furniture at all and the one he was sitting in right now still was the one he always had been sitting in back then, when his father had been alive. He simply couldn't bring himself to sit into the one that had been his father's favourite armchair, the one close to the fire. His father often had offered him this armchair, had said that he was so skinny and that he should sit closer to the fire as he surely would be freezing because there was no meat on his bones to keep him warm, but he always had refused, knowing how easily Janos always was freezing just as well.

With a frown on his face he leaned forwards to take the medical folder.

Of course he had read it two years ago, when he had – _borrowed_ – it from Poppy, but he wanted to check something that had come to his mind. Not about Janos always freezing, he didn't have to look up _that_. No. He just had started to wonder about all the hexes and curses he had read about the last time he'd been going over his father's medical file, and so he opened it and started reading yet once more.

'_Name: Janos Amity_

_Birthday: July 14th, 1946 – the medical scans show that Mr. Amity is 15 years old and not 17_

_Home: unknown – Mr. Amity named Hogwarts for his home_

_Parents: unknown, dead – Mr. Amity refused to name any other guardian_

_First appearance:_

_Albus brought Janos Amity here to the infirmary at Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry on August, 1st 1963 at half past two in the afternoon. The boy appeared to be twelve, maybe thirteen, much too thin and pale, and with bruises and cuts on his face and hands. Clothes old, torn and bloody, hair singed, Gryffindor robe. He looked tired and exhausted, scared and confused. He definitely was in pain and he definitely was in shock. Mr. Amity had a three year old boy with him whom he had adopted just hours ago. The child seemed to be in a much better state than Mr. Amity himself. _

_First medical scan:_

_Physicals: cuts, bruises and burn marks all over his body, scars in different steps of healing mostly covering the upper body, broken bones – most of them healed before being set correctly, the small finger on his left hand is missing, malnourished to a dangerous degree, limited function of his kidneys, physical and mental exhaustion, eyesight is very bad  
><em>

_Recent curses: petrificus totalus, sponge-knee curse, jelly-fingers course, imperio, conjunctivitis curse, tongue-tying curse, confringo, impedimenta, deprimo, reducto, cruciatus, avada kedavra_

_Recent jinxes: jelly-legs jinx, trip jinx, langlock, tarantallegra, backfiring jinx, finger-removing jinx_

_Recent charms: levicorpus, freezing charm, confundo, silencio, stupefy, legillimence, hot air charm, diffindo_

_Recent hexes: stinging hex_

_Other recent spells: expelliarmus, serpensortia, obscure, duro, incarcerous, enervate, incendio, sectumsempra_

_Magical core depleted'_

Of course his father's magical core had been depleted, what did this blasted diagnostic spell think? One just had to look at the amount of – _recent_ curses, hexes, jinxes, charms and other spells that had been hurled at Janos Amity, a fifteen year old child, for only Merlin knew how long, to know that his magical core was depleted! This blasted diagnostic spell did state the obvious!

But then he sighed.

Of course the diagnostic spell stated the obvious, they always did. And of course the diagnostic spell didn't think anything, a spell couldn't think. It was cast and it showed the damage, and the damage had been a depleted core – amongst other things.

From what he understood however, concerning the order of the spells, and from what he knew how Voldemort and his Death Eaters had worked, they first had tried to capture his father without harming him, most likely trying to get him alive, before they had started the more vicious spells after they had realized that they wouldn't succeed in capturing Janos alive, ending in – most likely – Voldemort casting the killing course what had led to his father's death from where he had been sent back by Dumbledore before the real last battle had started during which Janos Amity had killed Voldemort.

So – his theory had been proven right. Most likely Janos had been on the run from the Death Eaters, hunted by them and then suddenly he had turned and had surrendered himself to them, like he had written in his journal. It all made sense suddenly and he shuddered.

'_August, 1st 1974_

_Today it is eleven years that I have entered this timeline and that Severus is my son, and it had been eleven years during which I have been a very happy man indeed. I can't even remember how life had been without Severus, Abraxas, Lucius, Minerva and Albus. Those five are those I can count on one hand – preferably my right hand as I don't have enough fingers on my left one – but I do not want more. There might be others I like, such as Poppy and Filius, Lily and Narcissa, but they are not as close to me than those five._

_That had been something neither Ron nor Hermione – most likely no Gryffindor had ever understood: that it is better to have few friends but being able to count on them than having a lot of friends and in need no one will be there for you. The Slytherins have known this, I have learned during my last days in my original timeline, but the Gryffindors always had been afraid of having not enough friends._

_It has taken me a long time until I've been able to trust Albus, but this Albus here is nothing like the Albus I've known in my old timeline. The Albus in my old timeline … _

_Well, I've been at Hogwarts for my fifth year and then the Christmas holidays came up. Voldemort had already been back with full force, killing muggles and muggle borns alike and Umbridge had started overtaking the school as 'High Inquisitor' as well, causing more trouble than Albus had been able to prevent and so he had sent me back to the Dursleys. It had been as horrible as always, even more so as I've disturbed them on their celebrations and I'm sure that I wouldn't have survived another week. _

_Upon entering the Hogwarts train for the start of the new term however, we at one point or another during the journey learned that Umbridge had let in the ministry officials to Hogwarts and as most of the ministry of magic had already been controlled by Death Eaters due to Fudge's incompetence, Hogwarts by then had been overtaken by them just as well. The Hogwarts Express stopped and the students divided into two groups, those willing to go back to Hogwarts, and those who chose to escape. To my great surprise there had been a lot more Slytherins than students from other houses together who had chosen the second group, including Draco Malfoy. _

_He has been the one accompanying Hermione, Ron, Neville, Luna, me and the other members of the DA on our run, and he had helped a lot during the following two and a half weeks, until February, 1st 1995, until Voldemort made the unbreakable vow that he wouldn't harm any more students if I surrendered myself to him – and until Dumbledore came to our hideout one night and told me about the last horcrux, that it was me and that it had to be destroyed, that I had to die anyway or Voldemort would be back again – and so I left our small group, despite the DA members trying to keep me from going back to Hogwarts.'_

Again he was reminded at the fact that Draco had been with them, as had been other Slytherins. But since he had read that entry the first time he wondered why it was that his father had been so surprised about that. Lucius was on their side and he raised Draco the same as he had been raised. He doubted that Draco at one point or another would support the dark – so, why had his father been so surprised about that. Had they supported the Dark Lord in his timeline? It could be, and he remembered how much energy his father had spent on keeping people from becoming dark.

**Flashback**

_"Do you really think that Lord Voldemort will be that powerful one day, Janos?"_

_"I am. What is the reason as to why I am so relieved that you have not entered the dark side."_

_"I take it that I did so where you lived?"_

_"Yes." Was the quiet reply, but somehow he could hear the words 'you, your son and your grandson' in his head. "So many had done, too many."_

**End flashback**

Sighing he looked back at his father's medical folder and turned the parchment.

Of course his father had been so well trained at defense after that, had become a Defense Master with twenty-one already, had taught defense for more than the one year the cursed subject normally was taught by a teacher. As far as he knew, Janos Amity had been the only teacher who had taught defense for seven years in a row, until Severus had ended his first year of his apprenticeship which he had absolved at Hogwarts after the additional year under Slughorn and had left for half a year to study abroad.

'_August, 3rd, 1963_

_Mr. Amity has been sleeping throughout the remainder of August 1st and 2nd. He had woken this morning, feeling a bit better and he already had asked me to release him. _

_His injuries are healing slowly, but that had to be expected as he had been too weak and as the damage done to his body had been too much, not to mention that he is bones and skin only. _

_His magical core has not started to refill itself yet, and I guess that it will take some days more until it will. _

_Eating something had been a bit of a problem as he had not been able to stomach anything and I wonder how long it had been since he last had eaten. It must have been more than two or three weeks, I fear, and I wouldn't be too surprised if it were even longer than this.'_

If his father had left Hogwarts at December, 20th to go home for the Christmas holidays, and left his relatives at January, 10th to go back to school, then that alone made 21 days during which he doubted that he had gotten much to eat. The last battle had been at February, 1st, and so that made 18 days more during which they had been on the run and – most likely had been forced to search for food. He doubted that they always had found enough to eat for all of them and as he knew his father, the boy had eaten none to nothing so the others had more.

'_August, 4th 1963_

_Mr. Amity has been sleeping very restless last night, woken by nightmares more than once and in the early morning hours he had given up on sleep at all, had asked a house elf for the fifth year transfiguration, charms and defence books to start studying. I have not been pleased about that, but if this distracts him, then be it. The shock of recent events will catch up on him soon enough, I fear._

_Getting some food into that boy and making sure that it stayed down had been much more of a problem than I feared and I start wondering if his eating disorder might be chronic what would be an indication that he had been starved by his former caretakers since years. Even little Severus eats more than this boy does.'_

Of course Janos had been starved by his 'former caretakers', by his uncle, since years. He already knew that, and taking a sip of his whiskey he wondered how much his father had told Poppy back then. The fact that she had not known that his former caretakers had been his uncle, pointed out that he still had trusted her not enough to tell her much.

Of course he had not trusted her back then – at all.

He knew that it had been August, 14th until he had told Albus some things and only because the headmaster had been persistent in his questions and his father had felt the need to give in.

'_August, 5th 1963_

_Janos is getting more and more impatient of being released but I am not ready to let him go now. He is far too weak still and his magical core has still not started to regenerate itself. His fingers are still trembling upon holding a spoon or a glass and despite providing him with the required potions his limbs are still shaking from the after effects of the cruciatus. _

_Consuming food is still not easy for the boy but I can see that he is trying. I set him on nutrient potion daily and a stomach calming potion before each meal._

_Sleeping has turned out to be just as difficult, as it turned out that he has nightmares every night. I will supply him with dreamless sleep potion twice a week.'_

Turning the page he took another sip from the tumbler he had standing on the table in front of him. Of course he knew those medical reports, but he still thought that maybe he might find something he had missed last time he'd read them.

'_August, 6th, 1963_

_Even little Severus is a much more tolerable patient than is Janos Amity! This boy will be the reason for much grey hair to come, I'm sure of that. He is getting grumpy and impatient. But still the shock of what had happened before Albus brought him here has not caught up with him and I am worried. _

_At least he is getting a bit stronger and he barely resides in bed anymore, walking around the infirmary like a trapped animal with little Severus in his arms, or sitting on the floor with him, playing – much to the child's delight. I don't know if Janos had been in much contact with children that small before he came here, but I guess, because when he's playing with that three year old I'm unable to tell who of them is the three year old and who of them is the fifteen year old and the only indication of Janos being the fifteen year old is that far away look in his eyes he so often bears.'_

'_August, 7th 1963_

_I really haven't been able to keep Janos any longer in the infirmary and therefore released him today under the restriction that he showed up here once a day for a quick checkup until further notice. _

_His core still has not started to regenerate and he still is nothing than bone and skin. I wouldn't even have released him if Albus had not given him a set of rooms on the third floor close to the infirmary. He has a small room there with an adjourning bedroom, a small nursery for little Severus and his own bathroom, like the rooms the prefects are occupying._

_I also made clear that he had to take all his meals in the great hall together with Albus, the heads of houses and me, so that I can have an eye on him, and that he is not to skip meals or he would find himself back in my infirmary.'_

Yes, he vaguely remembered the set of rooms they had occupied for two or three years. He'd been five when his father had bought Amity Manor, but he also remembered that they had stayed at Hogwarts for a few months longer, his father being unwilling to leave the castle so soon after graduation and he also remembered that they often had visited Hogwarts after his father finally had moved to the manor for good, that they indeed more had resided at the castle than at the manor. He had been seven or eight when they had left Hogwarts for good and even then, Albus had kept Janos' old rooms for him – just in case he visited.

Maybe he should visit those rooms once he was back at Hogwarts?

'_August, 8th, 1963_

_To get Mr. Janos Amity to the infirmary for his checkups is as impossible as to get Alastor to the infirmary. I actually had to visit him for running a medical scan. His rooms are plain, but clean, I have noticed upon entering, a thing that I think is very significant. His bed was made and the desk kept tidy despite that one could see it was used. He already had started studying to cover what he had missed in his fifth year so he could start his sixth year after the summer holidays._

_The scans showed that he is healing nicely and even if his core has still not started recovering, the boy himself has at least not become weaker upon being on his own. I will have to keep an eye on this nevertheless._

_He has attended breakfast, lunch and dinner at the great hall and when I've been visiting this afternoon I have brought biscuits for tea and he has eaten. He still does manage not even as much as does little Severus, but at least he's able to stomach any food at all now._

_I will have to remember that we get the boy some things for his rooms. I do not like how plain they are and I will have a word about that with Albus, Minerva and Pomona. I doubt that Filius and Horace will understand, they are men after all, but I would like to get a few things for that boy's rooms.'_

Yes, he could imagine the face his father had pulled at that, at those blasted women bringing presents for him. He had been too young to really remember all of what had happened at the beginning when his father had taken him away from Spinner's End, and he didn't remember _this_ particular incidents, but he could imagine. Janos Amity had been a very independent and proud man and he barely had asked for the help of others, he barely had asked for _anything_ and he never had liked getting presents.

He always had known that there was something wrong with his father, physically, even while he had been a child still, but the more he had learned about the man after his death, the more he appreciated the gift that man had given him, the love he had given him and that tingling feeling that he still could feel lingering over him, even now, six years after his death.

**Flashback**

_He was walking into the living room, his transfiguration essay in his hand, about to ask his father to go over it. Of course he could do his essays by himself and of course he knew that his friends never sent them home to their parents so they could go over them before they handed the essays in to their teachers, but his father always wished to go over his essays before he handed them in. _

_He didn't mind, really. It only was another reminder of how much his dad cared about him, but sometimes it really was embarrassing, especially when he did such things, being so overprotective and lecturing him in front of his friends. But Lily and Lucius never had said anything about it, only had smiled at him, and so – he didn't mind really, just a bit, and only sometimes. _

_Stepping into the room Severus frowned upon seeing his father sitting at his desk, his head in his hands and he stopped mid-step, watching Janos Amity rubbing his eyes, his forehead and finally leaning back, his always so pale face looking worn, tired and exhausted. _

_A moment later the older wizard looked over at him, and immediately he had his usual mask in place, the one Severus knew so well. And yes, he only might be a third year, but he already knew what a mask someone displayed was. He often enough had seen this mask on his father's face after all and it had been a startling sight, seeing him without it, the real Janos Amity, being so worn, so tired and exhausted._

_"Your transfiguration essay, Severus?" His dad asked and he nodded, not sure if he should go on giving his essays to his father for going over them before handing them in._

_Really, he could do that alone. His father really had enough on his hands between his classes and grading the other students' essays, caring for him, Severus, and keeping him not only safe but happy as well. And his father did keep him not only safe but happy as well after all. Never mind what, the old wizard always was there for him, he always made sure he had enough to eat and enough sleep, that he had enough free time between his studies, enough books and enough potions ingredients for his passion that was brewing, that he had enough clothes he liked and that he had enough toys even amongst other things. _

_But most importantly – yes, his dad always was there for him, always ready to talk with him, to joke with him, even to lecture him if he had done something stupid, to take a walk around the lake together with him – or to take him into the forest, he thought with a smile. _

_"You don't have to go over it, dad." He offered. "You look tired and I can do this myself, all the others do that too."_

_"The others are not my children, Severus." His father answered, his standard answer. "But you are. Give me this essay and I will go over it."_

_"You're alright, dad?" Severus asked, walking over to the man and reaching the parchment over. _

_"Of course I am, silly child." His dad answered and with a small smile on his face Severus leaned his side against the man's chest, allowing his father to wrap his arms around him and to run his fingers through his hair._

**End flashback**

He remembered that day as clearly as if it had happened just yesterday and with the knowledge he now called his own, he knew that his father hadn't been alright back then already – or still. The medical reports he had been reading were horrendous and somehow he knew that Janos Amity never really had recovered, knew that he never had allowed himself to relax and rest enough to recover.

The man always had either given all his strengths to keep Severus safe and happy or to fight against Voldemort and the dark.

Well, he knew that he still was not ready to talk with Albus about his father, but maybe he should pay a visit to Minerva.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1986 – Hogwarts, Minerva's private rooms – 09:14 pm**

She had reached a note from Arabella a few days ago, that little Harry had been registered to St. Catherine, the Little Whinging pre- and primary school by the Dursleys and she had growled darkly. Little Harry was six, he should have been registered there three years ago, but as it seemed they had not allowed him to visit pre-school as it seemed. But well, he was registered there now and maybe there had been a reason as to why they had kept the boy at home for the past three years.

What had her worried however was, that Arabella had mentioned in her note that the boy was too small and scrawny for his age and so she had apparated to Privet Drive – something she better did _not_ tell Albus – and then had transformed into her animagus form. She had been sitting at the garden wall of number four all day long, just like she had done five years ago, the night Lily and James had died and Albus had brought the boy to the Dursleys.

It had been evening when she'd finally had glimpsed little Harry. The boy had taken the trash out to the container behind the house and she had to admit that Arabella was right. The boy was too small and too thin, a walking stick. He had seen her sitting at the garden wall and upon a short glance to the house he had come over and had stroked her head for a moment before quickly running inside and for a moment she had looked into the boy's startling green eyes.

They had been the same green eyes his mother used to have. Emerald green.

And they had been the same green eyes Janos used to have. And he had been the same scrawny scarecrow Janos always had been.

Janos.

Today it was six years that Janos had died and for a moment she smiled while she took a tumbler and filled it with her good Scottish whiskey, knowing that right now Severus surely would do the same at Amity Manor. He knew that man after all.

Janos and Severus, yes, they had been two boys – both of them so very stubborn and independent, and both so very easy to love – not to mention both of them loving each other in a way one barely would ever have the luck to witness.

**Flashback**

_She was sitting in her private chambers, reading a book the moment there was a frantic knock on her door that had her startled._

_She originally had planned to grade some of the transfiguration essays she had collected before the children had left and before she had given them new work for their summer assignments, but then she had visited Janos, remembering that the boy did not know of any essays and that he surely would like to know about them so that he could hand them in together with the other students without looking as if he were left out. It also would help him integrating into the student society if the other students saw that he too had done his summer homework and so she had visited him. _

_She however had found the boy sleeping in the armchair that stood beside his desk, little Severus laying curled up in his lap, nearly like a cat, his thumb in his mouth and peacefully sleeping as well. She had watched them for a moment, until the child had turned on the boy's lap and nearly had fallen off and knowing how much Janos needed rest and sleep she simply had taken little Severus from Janos and after writing a short note to the soon sixth year student she had taken the three year old with her, shushing him for a moment when he'd been about to wake up so he wouldn't wake his young father. _

_She of course could have transfigured a chair into a sofa in her office, but she had, on the spur of the moment, decided that she would take little Severus with her to her private chambers where the boy could sleep more comfortably and safely in her large bed. She simply would make herself comfortable on the sofa, would keep the door to her bedroom open and read a book, something she hadn't done in a very long time after all and she had to admit that it had been a very promising prospect._

_And there still was the book Poppy had given her for her last birthday – that had been in October last year! The only problem would be – the moment she had started reading the book – finally – she surely would like finishing it and she simply did not have the time for reading, generally. But well – maybe she should abduct little Severus more often so that she had an excuse to read a good book instead of grading essays and going over other stuff that passed the hands of the deputy headmistress. _

_Smiling she called the persistent knocker in, knowing that is surely was Janos to get his son, a moment later however the door nearly was thrown out of its hinges and she got off the sofa upon seeing a young boy with dishevelled black hair and being in tears running inside, not even bothering to close the door behind him._

_"Janos!" She called out, startled. "What happened, my boy?"_

_"Severus!" The boy choked out, barely able to hold himself together. "He's gone … I can't find him, Professor …"_

_"Oh, Merlin!" Minerva gasped, realizing that most likely the boy had not read her note when he had woken and found Severus gone._

_"I don't know where he is … and I don't know how he … I can't find him …"_

_"Calm down, Janos." She said, taking a step towards him only to have him backing away from her like he always did._

_"No, Professor!" He shook his head and she could see how he fought against his instinct to run, only lifting his arms instead in a gesture of half begging her to help finding Severus and half protecting himself against anything that he feared might come, his need to find his son stronger than his need to flee from possible abuse. _

_Yes, she knew about that, Poppy had told her, as had Albus, and she didn't know what she could do to make it any better for the boy except for helping him with the little child he had adopted as best as possible._

_"Calm down, Janos." She repeated. "Severus is …"_

_"No! We need to find him, Professor!" The boy again shook his head. "He's gone and I can't find him and …"_

_"Janos!" She finally called out a bit louder, trying to get through his panic. "Severus is here, he is …"_

_"I don't know how he could have left … but we need to find him before he falls off the stairs or …"_

_"Severus is here, Janos!" She said once more. "Calm down and take a deep breath, Severus is sleeping in my bedroom – well, has been sleeping, that is." She then added upon hearing a softly murmured "dad?" coming from behind her, and seeing the child leaving her bedroom on his tiny little feet upon turning around to the soft voice._

_"Severus!" Was all Janos was able to choke out at this particular moment and before she could do anything he already had passed her and was kneeling in front of the small three year old, having gathered his son into his arms, now openly sobbing into the small child's hair he was cradling to his chest tightly and she sighed._

_"Sir?" Little Severus asked, startled over his new father's behavior and his black eyes were searching for anything that could help him understanding the situation. Yes, she knew that this child most likely never had been supplied with as much love, care and worry as he now got from this young man and so yes, of course the three year old was startled and did not understand the situation._

_"Janos?" She herself then asked when the teenager did not answer the child, but she either did get no response, the boy still kneeling there on the wooden floor and cradling his son to his chest tightly, his shoulders shaking with the heartbreaking sobs now._

_"Janos?" She repeated, but still she got no answer except the teen shaking his head silently, not able to do anything more than this right now and she forced herself to wait._

**End flashback**

It had taken Janos nearly five minutes to calm down and to get off that floor, little Severus still in his arms, not ready to release the child yet, and it had taken her a calming draught to get the boy to calm down completely finally, at least enough so that he was able to sit onto her sofa and to talk with her.

He however had not been ready to release his son anytime soon and she had admired the small toddler's patience at sitting in his father's lap while he surely would have liked running around or playing on the floor. She didn't know if Janos had realized his own irrational fears back then, if he had noticed that the three year old only had stayed in his lap for _his sake_, the small child probably feeling out of instinct that his father needed him there right now.

It had gotten better, after a few weeks, Janos not coming over to her in tears anymore but more calmly, but this particular scene had repeated itself quite a few times in the beginning, Janos running to her upon Severus being missed – despite all her notes she had left whenever she had taken the child with her and despite their agreements about the teachers or Poppy taking little Severus so that Janos could have the sleep he so desperately needed – and either she had been able to calm him down and hand the little child over to him or they simply had contacted Albus or Poppy to ask who of them had taken the child.

And it had taken another few weeks until Janos had even allowed them to keep the child until he at least had been fully awake and had taken a shower or had done one or another important thing that was easier done without the small child being present – like taking his fifth year OWLs for example which he'd had taken by Albus.

He however never had allowed them to keep little Severus for an entire afternoon or until dinner when they would have met anyway, Janos always had come to pick up his son, never mind what and never mind how old Severus had become.

For a moment she got off from the chair behind her desk and went over to the book shelf and she easily found the book she had been reading back then whenever she'd had Severus over, and her fingers caressed the black cover with the red letters that read 'the vampire therapist'. She hadn't read it since a long time, Merlin, Severus was twenty-six years now and he had been three years old back then. So she hadn't read this book since twenty-three years and with a frown she took it from the bookshelf and took it over to the armchair she had standing in her office, sat down and started reading the book, smiling at the first page where Severus once had drawn an indefinable but very colorful picture when she hadn't watched for a moment.

Yes, she had made her mind up, she would read that book once more.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1986 – Amity Manor – 011:14 pm**

Never ever again – he swore to himself.

He had just come from the Longbottom Mansion and he knew – he would make sure that none of those children would fight in this upcoming war, and _that_ the war was about to reign over Wizarding Britain again, that much was clear. He knew that the last battles would take place at January, 1st 1995 and he knew that at the end of the term 1994 Voldemort would come back. He also knew that his Death Eaters would become more vicious even before that, that they would start overtaking the ministry of magic at one point or another during the year 1993 or 1994 at the latest.

He also knew that already 1991 Voldemort would leave his hideout and return to Wizarding Britain, to _'stuck out of Quirrel's head beneath that turban of his'_ as his father had so eloquently put it in one of his earliest journal entries during which he had sounded so childlike and uncoordinated still. That had become better when the man had gotten older, calmer and wiser, most likely after he had gotten over his shock finally. Too many had happened before his father had left his timeline and of course it had taken him some months, maybe even years until he finally had gotten over everything.

If he ever had – he reminded himself once again.

But he would make sure that it never ever would happen again.

Neither that child, that would become Janos one day fighting in a war that wouldn't be his to fight, but the adults', nor any other of those children. And he also would make sure that never ever again a child would be abused, starved or neglected, raped or mistreated in any other way if he could help it.

He knew that many of his Slytherins were abused at home and he always made sure to keep them at Hogwarts during the Christmas holidays with projects he assigned them and if possible during their summer holidays as well. He was the head of Slytherin after all and he could do just that.

He of course didn't know who was a Death Eater for sure, but he had a good guess and as Lucius was a lawyer and was well integrated into the wizarding society – Lucius did know more than he did and he told him. And so he knew with which parents he had to be extra careful. Not to mention that most Slytherins accepted him anyway because he'd been one himself.

However, he knew that Janos had been a Gryffindor and yet – he had been abused, what was proof enough to him that abuse didn't stop at the doors behind which his Slytherins resided. Abuse could take place in each and every house and he would have a word with Minerva and Albus about that – alright, scratch this. He would have a word with Minerva and Poppy about that.

He would go on searching for that child that would become Janos Amity, while he at the same time would consider some actions to take in protecting those children, but even if he didn't find him – he knew that at the latest he would meet him at September, 1st 1991 at Hogwarts, a child sorted into Gryffindor with black hair and green eyes that most likely was smaller and thinner than the others and that showed any signs of being abused.

For a split second a small black haired and green eyed small boy with the name of Harry Potter slipped through his mind, but he was gone before the Potions Master could grasp on the picture and shaking his head he got off his chair, determined.

Never ever again would he allow children suffering – neither abuse nor having to fight the wars of the adults.

And by the end of the day he again had become a bit wiser – and a bit calmer, by the end of the day the Potions Master of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry had a faint picture in the back of his mind, even if _he_ did not recognize that particular picture right now. By the end of the day he knew what he had to do for now.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_July, 31st 1987 – Janos Amity's seventh anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

_alright, the question some of you have put up in my head, about being Slytherin or Gryffindor – or maybe any other house – it never had left my head so far and so I have thought about something … I don't know if it even will work, but well –  
><em>

_starting on January first, 2012 – in other words now – just give away the house you'd be in, in your reviews, and any house will get a point per review … I'll add them together and then I'll start a house cup … I don't know if it will work even, if you like the idea _– _but well, I'll take the risk and try it …_

At the present time it looks like this:

14 points - Slytherin

07 points - Ravenclaw

04 points - Gryffindor

02 points - Hufflepuff


	8. rolling thunder

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

Month, 06th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_He knew that at the latest he would meet him at September, 1st 1991 at Hogwarts, a child sorted into Gryffindor with black hair and green eyes that most likely was smaller and thinner than the others and that showed any signs of being abused. For a split second a small black haired and green eyed boy with the name of Harry Potter slipped through his mind, but he was gone before the Potions Master could grasp on the picture and shaking his head he got off his chair, determined. _

_Never ever again he would allow children suffering – neither abuse nor having to fight the wars of the adults. _

_And by the end of the day he again had become a bit wiser – and a bit calmer, by the end of the day the Potions Master of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry had a faint picture in the back of his mind, even if he did not recognize that particular picture right now. By the end of the day he knew what he had to do._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter eight **

**Rolling thunder**

**July, 31st 1987 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

It had been a strange year.

Not a bad one, but definitely a tiring one, one that had exhausted him in entirely new levels and he didn't even know why – or how. For the entire year he had known that there was something he was missing, that there was something very important he had forgotten about, but he didn't know what it was while at the same time – he had felt as if …

He just didn't know.

Again green eyes came to the forefront of his mind for a split second only, a split second that didn't even suffice to tell whom they belonged to – he just knew that he didn't know the person – a moment later the thought already was gone, like always and frowning, knowing that there was something he should know, he reached for the diary that once had belonged to Janos Amity, a green eyed and black haired man, his father.

Of course he – whenever he saw those green eyes – knew that it wasn't the first time he saw them and of course he knew that they had to belong to his father, he wasn't stupid after all. Those eyes were definitely no female eyes and they were green – so they _had_ to belong to Janos Amity. But there was never a face to those eyes and they were gone, the entire thought of them were gone a split second later, before he really could grasp any of it to hold it and to take the memory into either a pensive or his occlumency shields for further inspection.

Taking a deep breath and shaking his head he took the book and opened it at the page he had stopped reading last time. He wouldn't be able remembering the thought he'd had a moment ago anyway, something that disturbed him greatly as he was well versant with his own mind.

'_October, 6th 1973_

_It's storming outside, one of those autumn storms I so love. The raindrops are splashing onto the earth like small explosions and the wind is howling through the trees like a bunch of wolves. I even can see the whomping willow in the distance complaining, as if her branches are trying to fight the storm and there's deep and long thunder rolling every now and then, lightning cutting through the dark. I used to fear such a weather when I've been a child, while now, in the past, I actually enjoy it sitting out here in the garden beneath the roof of the alley and watching this storm._

_Strange, really. I've entered the past, and yet – the future is catching up with me. That really sounds weird, but it is like that. _

_Today Severus has seen my scars._

_Of course he has seen them already in past years, he's my son after all and I've never sent him out when I've changed my shirt, but today he has seen them, noticed them, consciously, and he'd asked about them. And I didn't know what to do then. Of course I should have thought about something like that happening at one point or another, he's thirteen after all and he's not a small child anymore, but – I have become so familiar with him over the years that I simply have not thought about it. And I hadn't thought that it would be so hard and frightening either, I've thought that I'd been over it since long now._

_Merlin! I have done everything possible to keep them hidden from my classmates, never mind in which timeline and not even Ron had ever seen them! _

_Ron, I miss him and I wonder what he would do now. He surely would have become an auror. And Hermione surely would have gained one or another Mastery. Neville surely would have become a herbology professor or a healer. I miss them all so very much, especially on days like this. I'm sure that I would have sat with both of them out here, watching the storm and Hermione would have looked up one information or another from a book while Ron would have complained about his potions essay he'd had to write. Neville maybe would have been there too, simply listening to all of us._

_I even wonder what Ron would have said if he knew about Severus being my son here in this timeline. I'm sure he would've died of a heart attack before calling me absolutely mental, barmy and lost for all eternity. Hermione surely would have smiled, she would have understood, and most likely Neville as well, even if he feared Severus as much as I did, he would have understood nevertheless. And he also would have been very happy for both of us, for Severus as well as for me. Sometimes I think that Neville knew something, about my relatives, but he was too scared to really address me with what he knew. _

_I miss him just as well, even if he rather always had been the silent friend whom most people didn't notice._

_Well, I better do not dwell on this. I have Severus to go on now, and I have Severus to care for now, to worry over. _

_And right now I will have to have a word with him. _

_I've been so startled and frightened when he asked me about those damn, blasted scars, that I actually didn't know what to do for a moment. I'm sure that I'm not the best father, that I've made a lot of mistakes and that surely I could have given Severus more than I actually have, I'm too young for being a really good father after all, but I think that I have managed at least somewhat well. Until today. I really was so startled and scared and I should not have been so harsh with Severus when he had asked, but … dunno, I've just been scared. _

_And now Severus blames himself because he thinks he has upset me, because he thinks it's his fault that I've been so startled and so harsh. But it isn't! It's my own! If I only had been stronger back then in my old timeline, if I only had not been so bad all the time, if I only had been able to do everything my aunt and uncle expected of me. It has been my own fault that they had to punish me so often, not Severus' and I should not have snapped at him the way I have._

_I really have messed up today and I really will have to talk to him and make it alright, and soon. If I only knew how.'_

At the end of this entry Severus nearly was _seething_!

This idiotic, foolish and blasted man!

This idiotic, foolish and blasted _Gryffindor_!

How could this man have blamed himself for having been abused! How _dare_ this man blaming himself for being bad when he had been such a good man actually! How could his father _ever_ had thought that he had been anything else than a _good_ father! How could …

Running his hand over his face and taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself down. It hadn't been his father's fault that he'd had so little self esteem. He had been abused for years not only by his relatives but by Albus as well, the headmaster using him as a weapon for the war. And he knew that his father had known that Albus only had used him, one or another sentence in Janos' entries were proof enough of that knowledge.

He knew that abused children always blamed themselves, that they thought they deserved being abused – punished – as their parents told them, and so it was no wonder that Janos Amity had thought the same. But reading about it now, it just shocked him, like it always shocked him whenever he was confronted with abuse of the children in his house. First and foremost however it shocked him, reading about it from his father.

Closing the journal he got up and took his robe from the wardrobe beside the fireplace, slipping the black fabric over his shoulders and then he took the jar with the floo powder from the mantle. He threw a handful of the grey-green powder into the flames that immediately turned green and then he stepped into the fireplace, calling out his destiny.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Only a moment later he stepped out of the flames in his private quarters and for a moment he realized that it was a strange feeling, being here at Hogwarts on this particular day, on the day his father had died seven years ago, but then he scowled at himself and crossed his quarters, left them and then strode through the dungeons corridor with quick strides.

He went up a flight of stairs and then turned left ignoring the whispers of the paintings that lined the wall. He had his own thoughts to occupy his mind with, he didn't need the whispered words from the paintings, and a few moments later he went up another flight of stairs before he turned into the corridor that led to the rooms his father had been given back then, when Albus had taken them to Hogwarts.

He hesitated for a moment upon reaching out towards the dark brown wooden door, but then he placed his hand at the handle and tried to open the entrance.

Nothing happened and for a moment he frowned before he murmured a low "home", nearly smiling when the door opened for him at once. So – the password Janos had chosen for their quarters back then still was intact, after all those years. It was once more a reminder of how strong his father had been. It wasn't usual that a password held so long after a wizard had died, what was the reason as to why there were so many abandoned manors, their owners dead, that did not hold any passwords anymore,

But these rooms did, seven years after their inhabitant had died.

Once more he hesitated for a moment, but then he took a deep breath and stepped inside the rooms that once had been his home, where he had learned to be happy and where he had learned what it meant to have a father that cared, where he had learned what it felt like to be loved.

The main room was untouched, not even dusty and he realized that one of the house elves – most likely Zilly – must have seen to those rooms. He flicked his wand and the fire flared. The desk still held a few books as well as a few parchments, an inkpot and a quill, a picture of him and …

Gasping he took the second frame that stood there on the desk and run his hand over the glass, over a face that clearly was Lily's, that was Lily's face shortly before she had died and he sat down into the chair that stood there in front of the desk, in which his father so often had been sitting, doing his homework.

Lightning flashed outside of the window for a moment, illuminating the dark night sky for a short second before rolling thunder disturbed the silence in the room.

**Flashback**

_He was running into the main room as quickly as his little feet were able to carry him the moment he had seen the lightning through the window in his room. The sky had darkened so quickly even if it wasn't evening yet, they didn't even have dinner yet, and now there had been that lightning that had made him looking up with large eyes and a heavily beating heart, startling him, frightening him, and the moment he reached the main room he ran over the carpet without even stopping to look around, knowing that his dad was sitting in the chair in front of his desk. He always was sitting there, except for in the evening, then he was sitting in the armchair in the corner._

_The thunder that was rolling through the castle made him giving away a short squeal and he leaped forwards, finding himself in his father's lap, the man's arms immediately wrapping around him._

_"It's just thunder, Severus." He heard the man saying, the words barely registering in his head through his own wildly pounding heart. "It's loud and scary, but that's all that there is to it. The sharp loud crack that is followed by the long, low rumbling is only a few clouds that are crashing against each other, nothing more. And the sudden increase of pressure and temperature in the weather causes the lightning, that's all behind it. Want to see it more closely outside?"_

_He looked up at his father, startled, incredulously. Looking at it more closely? Outside? Had his father lost his marbles? This here was already frightening enough! _

_"It's alright, really Severus. I used to watch such thunderstorms quite often when I've been here at Hogwarts in the past and I do know quite the place where we can do so now." And with those words his father was already out of his chair, was grabbing his – Severus' – cloak and carried him to the door – through the corridor – down a flight of stairs – and then through a side door … where they ended up outside the castle, in a corridor that led along the masonry and that held some benches beneath the canopy that was supported by a few stony pillars, allowing the wind of the storm to ruffle their hair._

_"I used to sit here with some friends to watch such storms." His dad said, placing the cloak loosely around his, Severus', shoulders. "See? It is a great sight, the lightning coming down and illuminating the sky. And it's much more spectacular in the dark of the night even. I'll show you one day."_

_"That's scary." Severus murmured after the rolling of the next thunder was over. _

_"Yes, I know." His dad said. "But there really is no reason to fear thunder. It's just weather like rain, sunshine or snowing. And there even is a mythology. In the Norse mythology people said that Thor was wielding his hammer when he was angry and he made the lightning and the thunder when his hammer met the ambos."_

_"Who's Thor?" Severus asked, looking up at the pale face of his father, his dark eyes easily taking in the sight of peace that suddenly had eased out the lines in his dad's normally so strained and harsh face, the green eyes that were so hard normally becoming soft and there even was a smile that threatened to make his mouth twitching. He even could feel the peace that his dad suddenly was radiating._

_"Well, in the Norse mythology, Thor is a hammer wielding God associated with thunder, lightning, storms, oak trees, strength, destruction, healing and the protection of mankind. They had many Gods in their old days and whenever there was thunder, then people said that surely they had angered Thor that now wielded his hammer while in truth it only was caused by the weather. It is a natural phenomena and I love watching it."_

_"Gods?" He asked, looking up at the older wizard again. "There was more than one God?"_

_"Yes, there was Odin, the greatest and oldest of them, the father of the Gods and his wife was Frigg." His father explained, sitting down onto one of the benches and sitting him into his lap, pulling him close until he was leaning with his back against his dad's strong chest. "And he had children. Thor was the foremost of them and he ruled over the realm of Thrudvang. His second son was Balder, followed by Njord. Njord had two children of his own, a son called Freyr who became the most famous of the Aesir and ruled over rain and sunshine and over the fruits of the earth, and a daughter called Freyja who became the most famous of the Goddesses."_

_"There were so many Gods?" He asked, incredulous. He only knew of one and he never would have thought that there were so many actually. And his dad could even remember them all!_

_"And many more." His dad said. "I don't remember all, but there was Bragi, who was famous for his wisdom, eloquence and flowing speech, and then there was Heimdall, great and holy, born of nine maidens who all were sisters. Hoder had been blind but exceedingly strong while Vidar was the name of the silent _Áss_ who however was the strongest next after Thor. And then there was Ullr, a great archer, and finally Forseti, a son of Balder who resided in Glitner and all who came to him with disputes went away perfectly reconciled."_

_"Were they all bad and angry like Thor?" He asked, worried a bit. If there were so many Gods, and all of them could be angry, that surely wouldn't be a good thing, would it?_

_"Thor surely wasn't a bad God." His father said, frowning at him a bit. "He surely was strong and severe, but he was protecting mankind and he was a God for healing. There actually only was one who was numbered among the Aesir but whom some called the backbiter of the Aesir. He was the originator of deceit and the disgrace of all Gods and men. His name was Loki and he also was the God of fire. He actually was a shape shifter and his children were Hel, who ruled over the death, Fenrir, the wolf that was foretold to kill the God Odin during Ragnarök and the world serpent Jörmungandr that is the arch enemy of the God Thor. With the stallion Svadilfari as the father, Loki gave bird in form of a mare to the eight legged horse Sleipnir who became the steed of the father of Gods, Odin, on which back he is riding through Asgard, the world of the Aesir, Midgard, the world of humen and even Utgard, the underworld."_

**End flashback**

Yes, his father really had loved thunderstorms – and the Norse mythology as he one day had planted an oak tree in the back garden of Hogwarts, in the teachers' garden of the castle – and one at Amity Manor. And he, Severus, as scared as he had been back then had followed his father's gaze, had looked over at the sky, watching the lighting and listening to the thunder and his father's words, and as scared as he had been – he had enjoyed it greatly – as long as his father had been with him.

Taking a deep breath he looked back down at the picture in his hand, the picture of Lily – of Lily shortly before she had died.

But –

Frowning he took a closer look …

But that couldn't be possible!

His father had died a year and two months before Lily had died, and he also knew that the necklace Lily was wearing right now while waving happily at him … he had given it to her for her birthday _after_ his father had died! So – how had this picture made its way into these rooms?

For a long moment he was sitting there, staring at the picture, unable to think clearly.

How had this picture made its way into these rooms? How had this picture made its way into his father's possessions? How … Janos Amity had died July, 31st 1980, and Lily had gotten this necklace from him at January, 30th, 1981 – at her 21st birthday. It was impossible for Janos having a picture of Lily wearing this necklace around her neck on his desk.

Except …

Might it be that his father had known Lily in his old timeline? But that too was impossible, because Lily had died 1981, a year after his father had been born. He had been too young to know Lily in his old timeline! He had been an infant when Lily had died. How could he have known Lily then?

Placing the picture back onto the desk he stood and went into the nursery that had been his room for more than two years, his mind still halfway with the picture of Lily he had found at his father's desk.

This room too was untouched, even if clearly cared for and dusted. The bed surely had been made in the morning of the day they had left these quarters for good, but it also was clear that he had been playing atop the bedspread throughout the day as it rather was rumpled still. The shelves still held a few of the picture books he had decided to leave here so that he had something to read or look at during a visit here at Hogwarts.

On his own children's desk, just like on his father's, there were a few parchments and crayons and a picture of Janos Amity who smiled at him proudly, the face very young and he took this picture as well, sitting onto the somewhat smaller chair that had been his, and he studied the face of his now dead father.

His memories mostly showed him an older Janos Amity, a man that had been about thirty years old, and seeing this young face right now – it was startling – and yet, somehow so familiar.

It was pale, paler than he remembered, thin and tired, and so very, _very_ young. The face that smiled at him happily despite the tiredness was definitely that of a boy, of a child. His third years or his fourth years looked like that and finally he realized that the man he knew as his father _really_ had been just that – a child, a child that could be one of his students, one of his third or fourth years, and the incredibility of the situation hit him full force.

His father had been just as much a child as were his fifth years students, and one that looked younger than _that_ even!

"Merlin, dad!" He whispered, while running his finger's over the pale face, his own fingers trembling. "What a mess! I only can hope that you really have been happy finally. You look happy, but I don't know how you could have been after all and with the responsibility for a small child while you have been one yourself. I should have done more to show you my love and respect. I should have done more to show you how grateful I was about you adopting me!"

"He knew, Severus." Albus' voice came from the door and with a scowl on his face he turned to the headmaster. These were Janos' and his old rooms! Albus had no right being here! This here was private!

But then he remembered how much Albus had helped Janos, never mind how much he had hurt the boy that had _become_ Janos, how much he had cared for them, for his father and for him.

"I know, and nevertheless I should have done more." He sighed, placing the picture back onto the desk. "I simply should have done more."

"You have been a child yourself, Severus." Albus said. "You have done all you _could_ have done and as the child you've been, you of course did not realize how young Janos had been back then. For _you_ – he simply was your father. But he knew. Lemon drop, my dear boy?" The older wizard then asked, smiling at him.

"I am sure that you did not come here to share your sweets, Albus." Severus growled in his usual manner, having himself and his emotions back under control and getting off the small chair. He stood tall in front of Albus, his hands clasped behind his back, as always, calmly looking at the headmaster.

"But I would gladly share them with you, my dear boy." The older wizard said and Severus knew that the old man really_ would_. That he _really_ would share everything with the people he loved, that he would give everything away for the people he loved, even his life. And this made the situation just so worse.

Because Severus belonged to those people he loved - and because sometimes the old man just had a strange sense to show this little fact.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1987 – Hogwarts, Minerva's quarters – 09:14 pm**

The knock on the door to her private rooms made Minerva looking up and a moment later she frowned. It was the summer holidays and therefore only a teacher would visit her – but a teacher would use the floo instead of walking up to her tower to knock at her door. There only was _one_ teacher that would do just that instead of using the floo – Severus. But Severus was at Amity Manor like he was each and every year at this particular day.

"Enter." She called out and the door opened.

Her frown deepened when she noticed the Potions Master, Severus Snape, entering her quarters.

It was a rare occasion that Severus visited her during the holidays and it was an even more rare occasion that he visited anyone on this particular days. It only had happened once – a few years ago when Severus had asked Poppy to send over his father's medical reports and even back then he had not really visited Poppy but simply had made a floo call.

"Severus!" She called out, unable to keep herself from smiling while she got off her armchair. "Do come in! But don't you think that you could drink up my good whiskey!" Nevertheless she went over to the cabinet where she kept her stronger liqueur locked up – one never knew when living in a school with a lot of children after all! Of course she wouldn't deny Severus a glass of her good Scottish whiskey today of all days!

"Actually – I have brought you a bottle of dad's whiskey." Severus smirked at the woman who turned and looked at him with large eyes. Not because of his open use of the word 'dad' in front of her. Minerva and Lucius were the only persons left in whose front he used this word openly instead of 'my father' or 'Janos', but with those two – he didn't mind.

Abraxas, Lily and Albus had been one of those people as well, but Abraxas and Lily were dead and Albus – the moment the older wizard had lost his, Severus', trust – he had lost his open and carefree handling of such things as well and she knew that.

No, Minerva rather was shocked about him, Severus, still having left a bottle of his father's whiskey.

"You do not happen to speak of a bottle of your father's black-annealed whiskey?" She asked, her voice incredulous.

"Actually – I do." The young man simply said, lifting the bottle she immediately recognized as – indeed Janos' black-annealed whiskey, and she couldn't help smiling.

"Then hurry up and uncork this precious bottle of your father's, Severus!" She said, excited, taking a second tumbler and bringing it over to the coffee table while she at the same time waved her wand to get rid of books and parchments that were scattered all over the sofa.

She knew that whiskey very well, having emptied more than one bottle together with Janos and Abraxas throughout the years and while she was used to hard liqueur – she always had been amazed at the whiskey Janos had annealed himself, always asking him how exactly he had done this and she never had been able to take the first sips without her eyes watering and without coughing.

And she had missed drinking this particular whiskey together with Janos and Abraxas. That she now would be able drinking such a bottle together with Severus, and on this particular day no less – it meant a lot to her.

She watched the younger wizard uncorking the bottle, running his hand over the bright green glass of the bottle that only held a label with the year: 1971 – nine years before Janos had died.

"1971." She quietly said while Severus poured the golden liquid into the tumblers and then reached one at her. "It has been a good year. Janos had invented the orchideous spell to conjure a bouquet of orchids at my birthday."

"Yes, and it also has been my first year at Hogwarts." Severus smiled at the memory. "He nearly cried when he left Hogwarts after bringing me for the welcoming feast that day."

"Yes, Janos always had been very clingy towards you." Minerva answered, remembering herself. "He loved you more than anything on this world, he loved you more than his own life. It also had been the year he had come up with the babbling curse to play a prank on Albus. Sometimes I think that Albus still suffers from the after-effects of that prank, he still speaks strangely sometimes since then."

"He has – _what_?" Severus asked, coughing at the sip he just had taken, and not only from the burning of the strong liqueur that was running down his throat but from Minerva's words as well, the thought of his father playing such a prank on the headmaster nearly was unbelievable – yet, _if_ there was someone playing such a prank on the headmaster, yes, he definitely could imagine it being Janos.

"Well, it had been during the summer before your first year." She explained, chuckling at the memory. "Albus has been going on about you attending Hogwarts and surely becoming a Gryffindor and Janos had said that he knew you'd be sorted into Slytherin. Albus didn't believe him, said that you were so much alike your father who had been a Gryffindor and Janos told him that he himself nearly had been sorted into Slytherin back in his first year. Well, Albus had not stopped and had even insisted asking for your opinion. Janos had right out refused and had told Albus that he wanted you being absolutely uninfluenced. Of course Albus had been going on about the entire thing for days and days – until Janos had cast that babbling curse on him. Albus had babbled nonsense for _days_ after that and your father nearly had laughed his head off each time Albus had opened his mouth."

"Yes, I see how it is that our dear headmaster is babbling nonsense from time to time still." Severus smirked. "I never would have thought that dad had been the cause to this."

"Hmm, I can imagine that you find this highly amusing." Minerva laughed. "He had been twenty-five that year." She then quietly said.

"Actually – no." Severus furrowed his brows.

"No?" Minerva asked, confused. She always had known that there were a lot of riddles and secrets surrounding Janos Amity, but his age? On the other hand – it made sense, he never had looked his age, especially not in the beginning. "How old has he been then?"

"Twenty-three." Severus simply answered.

"I take it he had changed his age so that he could adopt you?"

"Yes." The Potions Master looked thoughtful. "It is incredible how dad had managed everything in the beginning, The adoption, changing his age, coming up with a name, and reminding himself to not change my surname. Not to mention attending school and caring for me at the age of fifteen."

"What do you mean – coming up with a name?" She narrowed his eyes at Severus.

"What do you think where dad might have come from, Minerva?" Severus said, slowly, as if considering if he really should tell her. "He had been coming out from nowhere, no one ever had seen him before, there had been no medical reports, no school reports, no OWLs – _nothing_. It was as if he never before had existed."

"I know, I have wondered the same myself since I first met him, I don't know where he came from, Severus. Albus never told, and neither had Janos himself – or Abraxas who surely had known something as well." She admitted, nearly holding her breath. Would she learn more about the young wizard that had wormed his way into her heart so easily and so quickly? Would Severus share some of his father's secrets with her? Albus never had told her too much about the young man, no one had.

"He had come from the future." Severus answered and she really gasped this time. "He had come from the year 1995 after he had fought against Voldemort and his Death Eaters in a long war during which most of his friends had died. He had lost everything and everyone in his past – or in the future – and after finally defeating Voldemort – he had come to the past, to the year 1963."

"Did he tell you?" She asked, not able to keep the surprise out of her voice. "When did he tell you? Does Albus know of this? Had Abraxas known?"

"Albus did know and I am sure that Abraxas did know a lot as well even if not all." The younger wizard said, frowning. "He however never told me. I do know this from his journal I finally have started reading four years ago. I have copied you one or another entry from his journal as I think it is important you read this. Not his entire journal as there are a few very private things, but what I thought you should know about. I only ask you to not tell Albus."

"Severus?" Minerva asked, frowning at the younger teacher. She of course head noticed that Severus had changed his attitude towards Albus over the years, that he seemed to have lost some trust in the headmaster whom he always had seen as a grandfather, but she never had known why.

"Read those entries, Minerva." Severus simply said. "You will understand then."

"I will." She assured. "And I promise that I will handle the information in your father's entries with respect. I have finished with the book I've been reading anyway."

"The Vampire therapist?" Severus asked, quirking an eyebrow when his gaze fell onto the book that still lay on the table. "It is a book rather hard to read and I know that you have not much time for such things as reading after all."

Minerva just leaned over towards the table and took the book into her hands. With a smile she opened the book and reached it towards Severus who took it, his eyebrow rising even higher.

"A rather interesting piece of artwork." He said, his voice sounding quite sarcastic.

"It's _your_ piece of artwork, my dear Severus." She said, nearly laughing at the man who blinked at her – judging his standards – rather stupidly. "You have created this rather interesting piece of artwork one day you have been in my care while Janos had been sleeping. I have left the room for just a moment and when I have come back – you had your crayons and the open book in front of you, creating this picture. I still have not figured out what exactly it shows though."

"You didn't?" Severus asked mockingly. "I have been under the impression that you are the head of a house full of children and yet you are unable to read a picture a child has drawn in one of your precious books?"

"Seeing that you have been three years old, my dear Severus, I have to admit that – no, I am not used to pictures drawn by children that small. Not to mention that Hogwarts does not hold a drawing class at all."

"But this one is easy." Severus smirked at her, his black eyes twinkling with amusement. "That is dad and that is me." He pointed at a black mass that definitely was not identifiable at all and then at a rather colourful mass that was – just as indefinable, nothing more than a few colourful scratches.

"Ah." Minerva made, looking closer. "And that?" She asked, pointing at a green and round mass.

"That is you of course, my dear deputy headmistress." Severus smirked.

"Really!" Minerva sighed. Of course the man would mock her upon her mocking him.

"Really." Severus confirmed. "You always wear green cloaks, a green scarf or at least a green brooch. How very Slytherin of you, my dear Gryffindor head of house."

"And you surely already noticed this with the age of three."

"No, but I did notice that you always wore things that were my favourite colour." But then Severus' gaze became thoughtful. "Why have you never scolded me for that?"

"Oh, Severus!" Minerva sighed. "I never have been able to be angry with you. I know that you don't like hearing it, but you have been such a cute child. And you have been so very shy and well behaved. And then those dark eyes of yours. No one had been able to be angry with you. You and Janos always have been the two people I loved more than anyone else, Severus."

The dark man sitting opposite her just growled darkly at her, his face scowling and his dark eyes throwing daggers at her.

"You should have scurgified that page!" The man growled.

"Why should I have done so?" She asked smiling. "It always will be a treasure to me, never mind if you can understand or not. It will remind me of the small three year old child that had been residing in my care every now and then, and that had grown into a very respectable man and a close friend of mine."

Huffing at her Severus took another sip of the brewage that had been Janos Amity's black-annealed whiskey.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1987 – Hogwarts, the corridors – 11:14 pm**

Still the deep and low rumbling of thunder was rolling through the castle when Severus walked back to his quarters from where he would floo back to Amity Manor.

He wasn't so sure if it really was a good idea, flooing back to the manor, considering the state he was in and he frowned. He should have known that it was a bad idea, bringing this bottle of his father's rather dangerous whiskey to Minerva – that bottle that was empty now, by the way!

He should have known that this bottle wouldn't survive the night with this blasted woman!

Merlin!

When had it been the last time he had been drunk? He didn't even remember a time having been drunk ever! Contrary to Minerva!

But how this blasted woman managed appearing completely sober while being drunk – just a blasted Scottish woman would manage such a thing! Drunkards they were, all of them! And Minerva surely was their leader!

Janos had been drunk once, he suddenly remembered.

Blinking he stopped walking, not sure if he would manage walking while remembering at the same time and he leaned against the wall to his left. When exactly had it been? He had been about seventeen or eighteen, or something like that if he remembered correctly – what he wasn't entirely sure he did right now.

And his father had been here at Hogwarts, it had been to Minerva's birthday if he remembered and he'd had Abraxas with him. And two of those blasted bottles - one for Minerva's birthday and one for Albus. He wasn't so sure however if the bottle that had been destined for Albus really had made its way to the headmaster's office. No – if he right now thought about it – he rather doubted it.

**Flashback**

_He was approaching the corridor where his private rooms were, his very own set of rooms he now owned since he had started his apprenticeship. Not that he liked them much – he would have preferred it had he gotten the rooms Janos had owned once, where he had lived with his father so many, many years ago – but well, he was a Slytherin and as a Slytherin apprentice his rooms had to be in the dungeons where the Slytherins lived. _

_He had been over at Minerva's party together with Janos and Abraxas, but he'd had to leave soon as he'd had a rather delicate potion to look after in the small lab his father had set up for him after Slughorn had refused doing so – a fact that had Janos rather angry at the man and it had been one of the first times that he had heard his father getting rude at someone, calling the man a blasted imbecile that wasn't able to provide his apprentice with what was necessary because he wasn't residing with his head as deep in his fubar'ed backside hole as others did._

_Whatever the meaning of this had been – it must have been something very bad, because Slughorn had gasped and spluttered for a moment before running off with a face as red as a tomato – and he had looked at his father startled. _

_However, it had taken him half of the night to have the potion stable and now he had turned off the heat so that it could cool down and rest. He would have to bottle it in three hours, but until then he could sleep for a bit. Well, that were the downsides of being a Potions Master – or becoming one – there often would be nights with little sleep due to a potion that had to be watched over during a critical state. But well, he had known this from the beginning. _

_He just turned the corner and went into the corridor where his rooms were set up when he noticed two figures standing in front of his door, discussing rather animatedly, and he immediately recognized one being his father and the second being Abraxas – both, apparently, drunk and trying to steady each other, and he leaned with his shoulder against the wall, watching the scene with amusement as he never before had been able to se his father in such a state._

_"'Braxas?" His father asked, frowning, his face a mask of concentration as if it was a hard task remembering his closest friend's name._

_"What?" Abraxas asked, blinking at his father stupidly, as if not understanding what could be the younger wizard's problem._

_"Could you … could you open that door for me, please?" Janos Amity asked, still showing some – politeness, like always. _

_"What door?" Abraxas asked, squinting his eyes. _

_"That door." His father said, pointing at the door to his, Severus', rooms._

_"Oh, there's a door … what is this door doing here?" The blond aristocrat asked, not looking so aristocrat-like right now, causing him to chuckle lightly while watching the scene and listening to their – discussion._

_"It's the door to Severus' rooms – at least I hope it is." Janos just was saying – while swaying dangerously._

_"Then you'll have to open it, Janos – and stop swaying, you're unsettling me." Abraxas complained. _

_"I'm not swaying, you're the one swaying." His father scowled. _

_"'m not! I swear, if you have me falling, then I'll hex you." Abraxas growled at his father and by this time he nearly laughed, remembering his father's annoying habit to always – at least seem to – fall onto the older man._

_"I'm not swaying – just open that door." His father said, shaking his head._

_"Didn't you say it's the door to Seve'us' quarters?" Abraxas asked and he scowled at the misuse of his name of a drunk man._

_"I guess so." _

_"Then you have to open it."_

_"I can't."_

_"Why ever not?"_

_"Because it sways!"_

_"The door sways too?"_

_Well, by this point he was glad that he was leaning against the wall already – this definitely was a sight that he wouldn't forget anytime soon and he enjoyed it very much!_

_"I guess … maybe it has drunk too much?" His father asked and it rather sounded like the question one of his first years would ask, not an adult man._

_"Dunno." Abraxas answered, pointing at the door lazily. "Ask that guy in the painting."_

_"Uhm – don't know if that's a good idea, he doesn't look too friendly – and he sways too." Janos said, frowning and he would have laughed at Marlow's face if he just had seen it! The man surely must look devasted! Desperate! At alone the thought of him being drunk and swaying, Marlow had been the most serious Potions Master in history!_

_"That guy has drunken too much as well? Isn't there anyone in this blasted castle who's sober?" Lucius' father said and he reminded himself to make a copy of this particular memory and to send it to his friend._

_"Dunno, but I can't concentrate on asking him if he sways like that." His father said, shaking his head and he couldn't help thinking that the man wouldn't have been able to concentrate on anything at all and even if the painting hadn't appeared swaying, because the man simply was dead drunk._

_"Oh, well, then just blast him apart." Abraxas suggested. _

_"Dunno, maybe I should ask him first?" _

_"If you could blast him apart?"_

_"I do ask you to refrain yourself from blasting me apart, Janos, I'm sure Severus would not be too happy if you did."_

_Severus barely had been able to keep upright by now – nor to keep his laughing under control so he wouldn't alert the two men to his presence. Merlin! His dad and Abraxas being drunk like that! Couldn't he leave his father alone with Abraxas and Minerva for a few hours without the man getting into any sort of trouble?_

_But Marlow's comment in the painting nearly was his undoing and he nearly gave himself away. Merlin! He even had tears of laugher running down his face by now and his stomach started to ache from laughing! How much of that blasted whiskey had they been drinking in Minerva's quarters? Surely more than the bottle Janos had brought for her birthday! Had they opened Albus' bottle as well after Minerva's had been empty?_

_"Oh, ok, that's an argument." His father said to Marlow, his face again a mask of pure concentration._

_"But one that won't help us with getting inside." Abraxas looked over at his father helplessly._

_"True. Maybe we could hex him instead until he opens up by himself?" Janos Amity asked, sounding even innocent while asking if they should hex Marlow._

_"Dunno, let's try it. Alohomora." Abraxas started, trying to aim with his wand._

_"That's not a hex." His father shook his head. "It's a charm. And you didn't even hit him." _

_"That's because he sways so much."_

_"Let me show you how it's done, Abraxas! Aguamenti!"_

_"Hey, what's the meaning of this, you blasted imbeciles! Wetting people in their sleep! Wetting paintings!"_

_Well, if he had been able to somehow keep himself upright – his father hitting the inhabitant of a neighboring painting – one that was at least two yards to the left of his door after all – with a jet of water, he simply had to turn and lean his forehead against the wall, knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep himself together anymore if he watched those two drunkards any longer, he just had to look away for a moment or he would lose his composure completely._

_"Oh, sorry! You're right, Abraxas, that won't work, he's swaying too much." His father's voice caused him to turn back and watch them again._

_"Maybe we simply should blast that entire wall out of our way?"_

_"Yes, I think that's a good idea, that way we can't miss him, never mind how much he sways!"_

_"Dad!"_

_"Bombarda!"_

_"Confringo!"_

_"No!"_

**End flashback**

"Severus?" The squeaky voice of Filius got him out of his memory, but he still couldn't stop chuckling, one hand placed onto the wall for support while with the other he tried to keep his stomach from aching too much. "Are you alright?"

"Of course, Filius." He chuckled, gasping and trying to get back his composure – somehow. "I just remembered the one time my father had been drunk ever."

"A rather amusing experience, I take it?" Filius then asked.

"Actually yes." The Potions Master ran his hand over his face, trying to calm his chuckling that became laugher once more. "He and Abraxas had been celebrating Minerva's birthday."

"Oh, oh." Filius made, opening the door to his office and reaching up to take Severus' arm, leading him into the room and to a chair before the man would fall. "Minerva's birthday parties never end up with people being sober."

"For my father they normally did, but not this one time, I fear, and he ended up standing in front of my door, together with Abraxas, trying to figure out how to open it."

"I bet he'd blamed the door of swaying instead of him." Filius chuckled at him.

"After he had blamed Abraxas first, yes." He answered. "I've watched them, nearly choking to death with laugher – until they had blasted half of the wall apart."

"Did they at least hit the door then?"

"No." Severus now laughed even harder at the memory. "No, they didn't, but half the wall to my living room had been blasted apart and Janos had – once again – fallen at the impact … fallen onto Abraxas who had landed on his backside with my father laying atop of him!"

"A rather bad habit of your father, falling onto people, especially Abraxas."

"I know." Severus admitted, still chuckling but slowly calming down. "However, I've been so angry back then, I've taken them both on their robes and hauled them off the floor, had shoved them through the wall and into my now open parlor – onto the sofa. And there they had been sitting, looking like two first years that were in detention with me, their hands folded in their laps, their shoulders bent and their heads downcast, studying the carpet beneath their feet while I ranted at them angrily. Imagine, my father and Abraxas! It had been such a funny sight that the moment I had realized that they indeed had been my father and Abraxas who were looking like two firsties being caught after a prank – I'd had to turn because I had not been able to keep from laughing again!"

"Yes, I can imagine that." Filius too now laughed. "I never heard about that!"

"Few knew!"

"You too look like you could be in need of a sobering potion, dear Severus – or a bed at least."

"Rather both! I will go to bed, Filius – if you allow me to use your floo."

"I don't think that this is such a good idea, Severus." Filius said, shaking his head. "Why don't you wait until the sobering potions has worked at least enough so that you might not get lost or injured in the floo?"

"Do you imply that I won't be able flooing home on my own, Filius?" He asked, trying to look intimidating, as intimidating as his father so often had looked.

"Of course not, Severus." Filius chuckled and somehow he had the impression that the blasted half-goblin didn't mean it seriously. "I never would do such a thing, but I would feel better if you did."

"Well, then it's too bad that I don't have one with me." He said, frowning. "I'll have to floo home anyway."

"Well, then it's a good thing that I have one here, my dear Severus." Filius laughed, summoning a vial he easily recognized as one of his very own and reaching it at him. "Seeing that I do like a glass of good wine from time to time."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"You know, Filius, I do not only miss my father." He said while concentrating onto the potion he could feel running through his system in a way of cleaning it,

"Yes, I know, Severus." Filius nodded at him and he frowned. "Lily has been such a lovable young witch and we all have loved her in one way or another."

"I didn't speak of Lily." He then said. "Of course I miss Lily still, but I rather thought of Harry."

"Of Harry?" Filius asked, looking at him startled. "Lily's son?"

"Yes." He answered, sighing. "You know, it has been six years since I have last seen the boy."

"I didn't realize that you loved Lily's son." Filius said, looking at him startled. "I rather always thought that you hated the child, because he's James Potter's son."

"I do not hate this child." He frowned at the charms teacher. "I never particularly held any affection for him either, but – well, he's Lily's son and I often had visited her, even after dad had died and Harry has been born. I have seen the boy growing during his first year. I have seen his first steps and I have listened to his inane babbling. I have watched him drinking from a cup for the first time instead of a baby bottle and – well, I just would like to know what had become of the child."

Well, he often had held the boy too and later on Harry often had sat on his lap too, but that was something Filius didn't have to know.

"Then visit him." The other one said.

"Albus thinks I shouldn't." He frowned, not sure if he really should trust Albus' ability to judge any longer. "And it makes sense I guess. Harry had to get used to living with his aunt and uncle and he had to get used to the fact of his parents having died. What doesn't change the fact that I miss the boy after six years. What if he isn't handled well by his relatives?"

"Well, if you are not sure if little Harry is well, then go and visit him, Severus." His colleague said. "I remember Albus telling Minerva that he had someone watching the boy though, someone living near his place, but I think, as a close friend of Lily you have a right to see the boy."

"Maybe." He sighed. Maybe he had a right to see the boy, maybe he hadn't. Maybe he could look for the boy's whereabouts, maybe he could wait for the boy to come to Hogwarts in four years. He didn't know, but he knew that he missed the brat, that he longed to see him again and to know what had become of the child Lily had loved so much and the moment he was sober enough to floo home – he left the small charms teacher and went back to Amity Manor.

Well, at the end of that day he had been not particularly sober for the first time since a very long time, remembering the first time his father had shown him lightning and remembering his father being drunk for the first and only time. By the end of that day he had given Minerva parts of his father's journal to read in hopes that the woman could help him finding answers he couldn't find because he was too close to the picture. And by the end of the day he had learned that his father had kept a picture of Lily in his room, a picture of Lily that theoretically shouldn't be there at all.

By the end of the day he had learned something new while new questions had come up – questions he would have to find answers to.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_July, 31st 1988 – Janos Amity's eighth anniversary of death and Severus still reflecting his life his father had offered him._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

67 Points - Slytherin

38 Points - Ravenclaw

31 Points - Gryffindor

53 Points - Hufflepuff


	9. the war of

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

March, 03rd 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_Well, at the end of that day he had been not particularly sober for the first time since a very long time, remembering the first time his father had shown him lightning and remembering his father being drunk for the first and only time. By the end of that day he had given Minerva parts of his father's journal to read in hopes that the woman could help him finding answers he couldn't find because he was too close to the picture. And by the end of the day he had learned that his father had kept a picture of Lily in his room, a picture of Lily that theoretically shouldn't be there at all. _

_By the end of the day he had learned something new while new questions had come up – questions he would have to find answers to._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter nine **

**The war of …**

… **a child and a teacher**

**July, 31st 1988 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

This year he had been more often to Amity Manor than he was normally throughout the year – looking through the rooms he hadn't been visiting in a very long time, since his father had died.

He simply hadn't been able doing so, looking through those rooms, even if he knew that the manor was now his, that his father had left the manor to him. It still was as if he would breach his father's privacy. Not to mention that – it simply reminded him at the fact that his father indeed _was_ dead, a fact that still hurt.

It wasn't that breathtaking pain that threatened to shred him limb by limb anymore, and it wasn't that burning pain that threatened to rip him into thousands of pieces anymore either, but it still hurt, and badly so.

He had been able to learn accepting the fact over the years, having Lucius and Minerva to talk to about Janos Amity, but it still hurt, and it hurt badly, even if he never would admit it. Janos had given him anything any father could ever give a child and he never had asked anything in return, never mind how much his father had always blamed himself otherwise. He'd been the best father any child could wish for and he didn't know how his life had come out if Janos had not adopted him on that faithful day so many years ago. If he were not dead by now, then he at least was sure that he would have had become a horrible man.

However, he had refused talking with Albus about his father – or about anything else that was private – since a few months now actually, since Albus had tried to break into his mind.

Severus still didn't know what it had been Albus had been looking for, but that had been the last straw that had held his trust to the headmaster above the water before it would be drowning.

Of course Albus had not been able to really break into his mind, Janos had seen to that many years ago, but alone his attempt had been enough for Severus to lose the remainder of his already frail trust – had drowned it.

**Flashback**

_"Just close your eyes, Severus." His dad said, one of his hands laying on his stomach and the other one laying on his forehead, gently holding him close while he leaned with his back against his father's chest, savouring the soft rising and falling of the older wizard's strong chest. "You do not have to force yourself to get your mind blank, because that is impossible, a human mind cannot stop thinking after all, but try to relax your mind. Do not think of your troubles at school, with Potter and Black, or with anything else but allow your mind to wander instead. Imagine a landscape for example if you like, or a potions laboratory with a lot of shelves, the sky with some clouds or anything else you prefer and allow your mind to be carried away by your chosen picture – in other words, simply relax your mind. That's it, Severus, I knew you would catch up on this rather quickly."_

_He smiled while he relaxed deeper into his father's embrace and allowed his mind to wander through the clearing he was imagining. He always liked laying there in his dad's arms, never mind how old he was. And he was quite old, too old to be so comfortable snuggling close to his father, he was fourteen after all and surely no fourteen year old teenager would do so by free will. But he didn't mind, because it simply felt good._

_"I won't do anything today, Severus, but I want you to imagine this particular clearing, with the small stream and the trees every evening before you fall asleep. Walk through it in your mind and look around, strengthen what you like or change what you do not like. In the end, it will have to be a place you can relax in, a place you love and feel safe and free."_

_"Why?" He asked. "How should I keep someone out of my mind if it is relaxed instead of being on guard?"_

_"You remember that I taught you to not force magic doing your biddings?" His dad asked and he nodded his head. "It will flow more naturally if you allow your magic to be played with instead of forcing it into something. And the same it is with occlumency. The more natural and relaxed your mind is, the better your occlumency shields will protect you. If you force occlumency, then you only will get a headache and it won't work as well as if you allow your magic to flow naturally."_

_"Where do you know this from?" He asked, turning in his father's arms and looking over at him, worried, because he could feel a shudder running through the older wizard._

_"Let me just say – my old occlumency teacher hadn't been so informative and tried to force my mind to protect itself by invading it." His dad said, sighing. "The problem was that we didn't have much time for me to learn it and we didn't get along particularly well either. So – it simply was a task to be failed from the start on. I've learned it later by myself, like so many things."_

_"And now you're teaching me!" He couldn't help smiling contently when he leaned back against his dad's chest, while he at the same time felt sad for his dad, because he hadn't had such patient teachers as had he. _

_"Yes, and I will teach you much more, Severus, because I have the feeling that you might need it at one point or another in the future."_

_"What do you mean, dad?"_

_"I'm not sure, Severus. I just want you to be prepared for whatever there may lay ahead of you."_

**End flashback**

And his father had been right, he had needed it – even if he had needed it against a person he never would have thought he would need defending himself against.

Taking a deep breath and then slowly exhaling he also remembered the entry he had read a few months earlier, the entrance in Janos Amity's journal about his occlumency lessons with him, Severus Snape, the Severus Snape in Janos' past, the teacher. It had not been an entry that had made him feeling good. It actually had been an entry that had made him feeling bad, that had made him angry at himself, and ever since he had wondered why his father had not asked him, the older Severus, the teacher, to teach him occlumency in a different way – despite the fact that they never had gotten along.

But well, how bad their relationship really had been – it had been startling to read about in this entry.

'_November, 14th 1974_

_The weather has become wet and cold and so I've started teaching Severus occlumency.'_ He had read. _'He'd had a lot of fun with it and he caught up on it very fast. Well, I have known he would, and I'm glad that he liked it, however I haven't been able to keep myself from remembering my own occlumency lessons with him, in the past, when he had been my teacher and I can't help thinking that it is a really strange thing that I am teaching the boy that would become my teacher – that I am teaching him __that__ what he had failed to teach me in the past even._

_I can't blame him though, I guess. He had hated me and therefore he surely had hated teaching me, of all people, occlumency added to potions he already had to teach me during regular classes – and I, well, I had feared him. Not to mention that I've been scared because of all those visions and because I didn't know what was happening with me, frustrated because Dumbledore refused to even look at me for months, angry because no one had explained anything to me and tired because back then not only those blasted nightmares had kept me from sleeping but those visions too. _

_Not to mention the headaches I got from Snape's lessons and that lasted for hours and days sometimes, but admitting this would have meant showing weakness in front of him and I haven't been ready for this. _

_With the knowledge about occlumency I now have, I'm not really sure if it was wise, keeping those headaches from him, but back then – admitting any weakness to him, it would have been the worst horror for me and back then I've been so sure that he only would use it to his opportunity, or that he at least would smirk at me, that he would enjoy it, that he would call me weak like he so often _did _anyway. So - of course those lessons were bound to fail and that made Snape only more angry – and I, well, I feared him and those lessons just the more the more angry he got. It was a circle neither of us has been able to break I guess, neither Snape, nor me. _

_It all had started with the very first potions class I've been in. Snape has seen me and he immediately had hated me. Back then I hadn't known the reason for his hate but I have felt it and even if I've been interested in potions as it sounded like chemistry and Dudley had not been in my chemistry curse – I've been looking forward to this class. I guess I've lost the interest with the growing fear and dislike I developed towards Snape over the weeks and months because of his constant bullying towards me._

_In later years I've learned about the reason for Snape's hate – but I've never been able to understand it – until I've seen his memories and until I've read his letter. But by then it has already been too late. Everything has been too late then. We've been in the midst of the last battles, Snape has been dead, I was about to die, everywhere around me people were dying, my friends, students, teachers – it was chaos everywhere and it was too late for anything. _

_Maybe that's been the reason as to why I wished to go back and change Snape's death, because of his memories I've seen and because of the letter he's written. And gladly I can say – I have heeded Snape's last advise he has given me in this letter – I have let go of my grudges and it was the best advise anyone could ever have given me, because if I hadn't, then Severus would not be my son now. So – in the end, I do have to thank Snape, because he has given me a second chance with his advice._

_If only it had come sooner, if only it all had been years before, if only I could have gotten along with him from the beginning on. Maybe things would have been different then, maybe he would have been able to help me like he did with his Slytherins, even if I have not been one. But then – maybe I wouldn't have made this particular decision back then, and maybe I never would have come here, to have Severus now. No – I guess I would not want to change my past, because even if I didn't like it back then, even if I don't like it still, it's better that I have had no one's help than Severus' that had led me to doing what I have done in the end instead of having a happy childhood that might have led to me not going back in time – I wouldn't have Severus as my son now.'_

After reading this entry he had realized – it had not only been a war of good and evil. It had not only been a war of dark and light, it had not only been a war of Voldemort and Dumbledore, and it had not even only been a war of the wizarding world and of prophecies – it had been a war of humen and their emotions as well, of their doubts, of their fears, of their hopes – and of their hate. It also had been a war of – a child and a teacher.

Never ever again, he swore to himself. Even if he would not find the child he was searching for, even if he would not recognize the child on September first, 1981 at the latest, the child that would become Janos Amity, he never ever again would allow a war being fought by a child and a teacher.

And well, in his father he had the best example of how a teacher should act.

Janos had never mocked a student, he had never sneered down at them and he had never handled them unfairly. He always had listened to what they had to say, had always considered their ideas and had always tried to help them as good as possible.

On the other hand – he never had overly helped them with their work, had at least never given them the answer, even if he'd had the answer in his hands, instead he always had encouraged them to find their own ways to solve a problem, to think and to work hard for their goals, autonomously. He always had wanted them to make their own decisions, had wanted _him_, Severus, making his own decisions.

At the same time he had been able to display a strange sense of humour, a humour he always had liked, a kind of humour that was so much like his own but a humour that not everyone had liked. There definitely had been some people who had hated – or at least disliked – Janos Amity because of his strange humour.

He knew that he always had handled all students the same, even Pettigrew, Potter and Black – and he _knew_ that his father hadn't been too pleased about having Potter, Black and Pettigrew in his class, especially Pettigrew, whatever reason for. But he had never done anything to harm one of them – on the contrary.

There had been this boy once, Carl Cindle, a Gryffindor, and he had bullied other children rather often, even children from his own house. He often had heard his father discussing with Minerva about this boy, telling her that she should do something as she was his head of house after all, that she should not allow the boy's charm to manipulate her.

Well, and one day during defence Cindle had leaned back in his chair, whispering something towards Lupin.

Lupin had grown very nervous, scared even, had started looking around anxiously at the other students and it was clear that Cindle had known something about Lupin that was a secret, an important secret, while Potter and Black had become angry at Cindle, had started to try and keep the blond boy from advancing on Lupin – they definitely had known what the secret was about.

Huffing he shook his head. Of course there had been a secret around Lupin, the boy being a werewolf, but they hadn't known it back then. They all only had learned of it in later years. The only ones that had known about it back then already had been Black and Potter.

**Flashback**

_Frowning he noticed that Cindle would not back away, but that wasn't new to him. Cindle never backed away, never mind if he got into trouble or not, this boy didn't care. Cindle even could smirk at the teachers while they gave him detention or took points. He was a disrespectful and disinterested boy that had no regards for nothing and he scowled. _

_Of course he wasn't friends with Lupin, but not only had Black and Potter ceased their bullying to a minimum but also Lupin was the most harmless of the three. _

_Why Lupin was befriending Potter and Black to begin with was a riddle to him anyway. Lupin was not their calibre. He was no bully and he was not "cool". He was a quiet and rather considerable boy that learned a lot while Potter and Black shied hard work or using their brains for once, they rather copied their homework from Lupin. _

_"Mr. Cindle, please be so kind and come to the board." His father's voice got him out of his thoughts and he looked up from his work, seeing his father standing in the front of the classroom, green eyes trained on blue eyes. Slowly Cindle did as he was told and strolled towards his dad, leisurely and with his hands deep in the pockets of his trousers. _

_"Take this chalk please." His father said, reaching a piece of chalk at Cindle who took it. "And now please draw a vertical line at the board and extend said line over the wall until you reach the door. After that please open the door, lengthen the line towards the corridor und close the door quietly from the outside. Thank you, Mr. Cindle."_

**End flashback**

Well, the funny thing about it had been that Cindle really had taken the chalk, not knowing what would be the outcome and he had drawn the line on the board, then over the wall, even if he clearly had looked surprised and only after he had already opened the door to draw the line towards the corridor, when his dad had told him to quietly close the door from the outside, had he realized that he was – in a strange way – thrown out of the classroom. Angrily he had thrown the chalk to the floor, the laugher from the entire class accompanying him, and he had shaken his head, knowing that he would have to be careful around Cindle for the next few days.

Well, only a few hours actually, because after that, during lunch in the great hall, Cindle had advanced on him, Severus, had placed his wand at his throat and had threatened to kill him if his dad didn't apologize to him openly right there and then.

For a short moment he had feared that this might have been his _last_ moment, but then his dad had been there and those always so calm green eyes had given him the strength to stay calm and to trust in his dad. Five minutes later he had already been in his father's arms while Cindle had been on his way to the aurors, only to learn that his father had already cast a protective charm over him the moment he had thrown Cindle out of the classroom. He nevertheless had not been to his afternoon classes that day and he remembered that he hadn't been to any classes that week at all, that his father had taken him to the mountains where they had been climbing, where they had been canoeing and where they had been jumping from rocks to rocks, chasing each other.

He still didn't know why Janos had done this, why he had taken him there back then, why he had insisted on them doing all this dangerous stuff, but what he knew was – he definitely had felt better after this.

His father had done many things that had been strange, but that had made him feel better.

If only he knew who his father was so that he could do the same thing for him now.

For a short moment he had thought that he knew, for a short moment he had though that maybe – just maybe – it _could_ be Potter, because there had been so many things …

There had been Janos' entry from August, 1st 1974. _'-causing more trouble than Albus had been able to prevent and so he had sent me back to the Dursleys' _– the Dursleys. Why had he not realized it earlier? The Dursleys! Janos had written it down! It wasn't Vernon Amity, but Vernon Dursley!

At that time he had started tracking down Lily's sister.

Janos had called his uncle "Dursley" and his cousin "Dudley" and so he guessed that the boy's name was Dudley Dursley – but still he had known that there was a large part he was missing somehow. Lily had lived in Little Whinging, Surrey, so he had known that he should start there, looking for a school as that boy had to be near Janos' age, about nine years or something like that.

And so he had looked for any schools near Surrey, had found St. Catherine, the Little Whinging pre- and primary school, and soon he had learned that Dudley Dursley indeed was a student there, but not Harry Potter and he had frowned at that information. Why would the Dursleys have one boy at that school but not the other?

Again he had remembered Albus' words. Albus had assured him that the boy was safe and well cared for by Petunia and Vernon, had told him that it wouldn't be wise to go and visit the boy as he would have to get used to living by his aunt and uncle now. But surely after eight years the boy was already used to living with his aunt and uncle? But then Albus hat told him to not disturb this family.

And so it had taken him days and days until he finally had seen – of course, a man named Vernon … uncle Vernon … Vernon Dursley … Petunia Dursley … nee Evans … Lily's sister …

It had been as if those puzzle pieces he already had placed together, had been fixed with a fine film of glue and he had _known_ that the boy was living there, that Janos was living in Surrey, with the Dursleys.

He had known.

He absolutely had known it!

Harry Potter was Janos Amity – or would become Janos Amity!

But then he had visited them, the Dursleys, and all he had found had been Lily's sister, Petunia, a whale of a boy and a boy with a rat-like face that had demanded more ice-cream from Petunia and that visited a very expensive private school while their own son had to visit the local primary-school.

When he had left he'd had the strange feeling as if something had been off with them, the Dursley boy having called his cousin 'piers' once, whatever reason for he would call his cousin a pier, and then in the plural form even, before he had quickly corrected himself and called him 'Harry', Potter nearly laughing off his head at that, whatever reason for he had thought this being funny.

Shaking his head he had gone home, disappointed.

He had been ready to accept the fact that Janos was Harry.

It had been true what he had told Filius last year – he had missed the boy.

But the boy had been raised into a bully that didn't get enough sweets and ice-cream, a boy that was disrespectful and insolent. There had been nothing anymore that reminded him of the small Harry he had known when Lily had been alive still. Not to mention that he had lost his green eyes too.

For a moment he frowned while he emptied the tumbler he always allowed himself on this particular day.

Of course he knew that it was possible, physical appearance changing with age, especially when it came to small children, he had heard of that – but he never before had heard of startling green eyes changing into bright blue eyes.

Sighing he got off his armchair and placed the tumbler onto the table while in the back of his mind – unconsciously – there was a question nagging: how was it that Harry's eyes had changed from a startling emerald green into a bright blue and then would change back to said startling emerald green as Janos used to have those startling emerald green eyes?

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1988 – Hogwarts, headmaster's office – 08:14 pm**

Sighing Albus got off his chair behind the desk and went over to the large window, looking down into the sun cowered grounds. The forbidden forest lay golden in the setting sun, throwing large shadows over the grounds. An eagle was flying over the tree tops, a black silhouette in the setting sun only, its outstretched wings nearly touching the line of tree tops. One of the unicorns was peering out from the line of trees, its white mane making an impressive contrast to the shadowy area, the horn even glowering in the semi-darkness.

He even could make out the smaller animal, like the white rabbit that was hopping through the understory, sniffing the air for any dangers and trying to stay hidden in the shadows, or like the squirrel that was bouncing from tree branch to tree branch, on its way through the front tree line.

He always had loved Hogwarts during the summer months when the grounds were well visited by animal of all sorts while during winter only the magical creatures showed themselves and even they came out rarely then, driven to their hideouts by cold and snow. The gnomes came out during winter as often as during summer, their thick skin sheltering them from the cold and Argus complained about them even more then, when he had to go out into the cold to de-gnom the grounds. Maybe he really should get some help for the caretaker, it wasn't fair after all as Argus couldn't use magic to do all the work in the castle.

Smiling he remembered better times, times when Janos had been there still.

Janos wouldn't have thought about employing help for Argus, he would have done so already and he remembered the young man who so often had helped a young Argus in de-gnoming the grounds, or in waving his wand for a moment to clean the hallways magically while it would have taken Argus much longer. He also remembered that Janos and Argus had been found in the school kitchens from time to time, Argus enjoying the wine that the house elves served and Janos watching happily with a glass of milk, listening, while Argus babbled and told stories and smiled. Argus too had changed since Janos' dead, had become bitter, Janos having been the only one who had befriend the caretaker.

He remembered that in the beginning, when Janos had appeared at Hogwarts, the young boy had been scared of Argus, but then, one day they both had met in the garden and they had talked. Janos had realized that Argus had not been the vindictive character he – apparently – had been in later years when he had been at Hogwarts as young Harry.

A small black dot down there, slowly moving through the school grounds, got his attention away from the forbidden forest and he took a deep breath.

He hadn't realized that Severus would be here at Hogwarts, today of all days.

The young teacher had spent the past few years at Amity Manor at this particular day and he had not known that he had changed his habits. But well – Severus didn't tell him much nowadays, alright the boy actually didn't tell him _anything_ nowadays, somehow the young man had lost his trust in him – but he didn't know the reason for this, nor did he understand it.

Well, that wasn't absolutely true.

He of course knew that Severus had gotten very suspicious of him because of all his secretiveness, but he couldn't change _that_.

When Janos had arrived back then, in 1963, he immediately had known that the boy either had come from the past – or from the future. There had been the Gryffindor robe that had been so very unknown to him, clearly with the Hogwarts crest that had been the same as he knew it, with the same colours too, but so strange nevertheless in its cut and fabric.

Soon he had learned that it actually had been the future the boy had come from, and then he had known the reason as to why the child had tried to keep as much things secretive as possible, not wanting to accidentally change too much or too important things in the future while he had tried to change _some_ things, to make some things better, like adopting Severus, like trying to take down Voldemort as soon as possible so that maybe he would have a chance in the future to begin with, so that his parents maybe might survive and he wouldn't end up with his aunt and uncle – and yet, somehow that what he had tried to change for the better, it had come true, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Neither he nor Janos himself had told young Severus much and then Janos had sworn him to secrecy.

He couldn't tell Severus what he wanted to know.

And then he had made this mistake, trying to invade Severus' privacy – and he knew that it had been a mistake. And nevertheless, he'd just _had_ to know.

Severus had changed so much, so very much, since Janos had died, he'd just _had_ to know if the young man was still on the side of the light. He knew that Janos had taught Severus dark spells when he'd been young as well as light spells, that he had taught Severus that not the spell itself made the magic bad, but the intent behind the spell, the wizard himself, just like he had taught Severus how to play with his magic and have him bending his magic to his will instead of forcing his magic biding spells.

And then Severus' grumpy nature lately, since Janos had died.

He knew that his Potions Master had undertaken researches concerning Janos, as had he, and he didn't have a problem with that, but he also knew that Severus had learned as little as had he – at least to his knowledge. He knew that Severus had found something, maybe the boy's diary or his pensive – and he knew that Janos had had a journal as well as a pensive – or maybe he had found something else similar, but somehow he wasn't sure about the contents as Severus' seemed rather frustrated of what he had learned.

Sighing he went back to his desk and sat back into the armchair behind, heavily, running a tired hand down an old and wrinkled face. If only he didn't know what the future would hold, if only he had a solution for that what the future would hold.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1988 – Hogwarts, Minerva's quarters – 09:14 pm**

Shaking her head she re-filled the tumbler with her special Scottish whiskey.

She had read that notes Severus had given her a year ago, had read them more than once meanwhile, more than twice even – some of them she nearly knew by heart!

It had taken her a few days to know who Janos Amity was – namely Harry Potter – and she had told Severus.

But Severus had shaken his head and had told her that – no, it was not Harry Potter.

She had of course scowled at him and had told him that his jealousy and his anger of a dead man was stupidity and that nevertheless what he thought about the child, it was Harry Potter – everything in the journal pointed out to that after all.

"If I understand everything I've read correctly, then the boy had been handled unfairly by you while you have been his teacher – and nevertheless he was ready to look behind that and take you in when he had travelled to the past." She had said.

But then Severus had sighed, sadly so, and he had turned towards the window, looking down into the grounds, and he had told her that he had visited Petunia Evans, Dursley now, Lily's sister, because he too had been so sure that it was Harry Potter, but it wasn't. He had found Harry Potter there, yes, but the boy had nothing in common with Janos Amity, hadn't been abused but was a spoiled prince that got everything he wanted and the moment he wanted it, that he was disrespectful and – simply an impertinent snot that bullied his aunt.

So – Harry Potter was out of the game.

But who could be a candidate then?

Trying to ignore that what she had learned from the journal – she tried to reconstruct by whom the young man they all had learned to love so much could have learned some things, like his speech.

Huffing she remembered the young man, always so very quiet, rather listening instead of speaking himself, but always being polite and very eloquent the moment he actually did speak while at the same time his speech could be – old sometimes even, normally very polite and very friendly, never actually hurting or offending someone, his words well thought through.

But sometimes – sometimes the boy, the young man, was so very emotional in his speech that it nearly was – startling.

There had been this father one day, a muggle that had beaten his daughter, Amelie Brown, and Janos had seen it while being on duty at Kings Cross Station. The man had sooner been shoved into the next wall, his feet dangling midair, than he had been able to do actual harm while Janos had been hissing a cold "friend, I'll break all your bones, and rip off your balls – and if I'll go to jail for this, they still won't re-grow" at the man.

Amelie Brown had never gone back home after that, Janos had taken her to the ministry and two days later the girl had been adopted by a nice family. She knew that the girl had a child of her own now, Lavender Brown, a smart and clever young girl.

At another time he had told Slughorn off after the man had spoken for at least an hour without anyone having the chance to even give an answer to the questions the idiot man had asked and then answered for himself before already telling another story of how he had gotten an invitation to one or another great Quidditch game by one of his former students.

It had been a comment she personally had found very amusing and she hadn't been able to keep herself from snorting loudly, nearly spitting the sip of tea she'd taken all over the table in the staff room. She didn't remember it particularly, but it had been something along the lines of " loon, if ye won't keep yer blasted gob, 'en i'll slap ye in th' coopon sae 'at yer teeth ur runnin' doon yer throat in a single file an' start playin' th' piano in yer crease, dae ye kin? Th' most glaikit hin' ay a human bein' pure is their gob! Yoo'll jist gie tay glaikit tae piss a hole in th' snaw if listenin' tae them fur tay lang! Pure, guid laird, flin' doon some brains!"

Well – only a young man like Janos had been able to come up with something like that while he on the other hand told others that "life only can be understood if you look back, while it only can be lived while you look ahead"

So – all in all – no, she didn't know whom the young man could have learned this way of speaking from, because no one she knew had Janos' wit, his sense of humour and his sharp tongue – except of Severus, but it was not that Janos had inherited this from Severus, but Severus from Janos and so – no, he didn't know anyone else.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1988 – Amity Manor – 11:14 pm**

_It had been a long week so far and it had been a tiring week so far – even if it was Tuesday only._

_There had been Quirrel hexing that blasted broom, then Poppy had told him that there was yet another abused child at Hogwarts, Albus had told him that the troll had been questioned – even if he personally didn't know how one would manage it, questioning a troll of all creatures – and last but not least Minerva had accused him of being responsible for one of the Gryffindor second year students having become ill – not to mention that he regularly found one of the imbeciles roaming the halls, apparently suffering from insomnia but not ready to tell someone, IF – the boy even knew that it was an illness that kept him awake. He didn't even wish to think of how a fourth year he – he – tried to keep safe had managed getting his name into the goblet of fire, therefore sabotaging him over and over again, nor of how one of the Gryffindors was in trouble because he constantly was in detention with Umbridge who used a blood quill on the idiot boy because he refused to keep his bloody Gryffindor mouth shut. _

_Rubbing his forehead he was reminded of one of those blasted imbeciles having a headache at a regular basis, he could feel it, and he knew that it wasn't his own. He cast a glance over his students, trying to find out which of them looked as if being in pain, but – like always, he didn't find the one that was responsible for his own slight pain that was nagging behind his forehead and he sighed, concentrating back onto the essays he was grading while at the same time he wondered how he could keep himself alive, Draco from killing Dumbledore and the Dark Lord from overtaking Hogwarts after he already had overtaken the ministry. _

_Little did he know that one of his students was colour blind and threw a red newt talon into his cauldron when it should have been a green one. _

_A moment later there was a cauldron in the back of the classroom that exploded and he was just in time to get up a shield between this exploding cauldron and the students, knowing that the first year Gryffindor boy that had been standing behind the cauldron was not included into the shield, knowing that the boy surely wouldn't survive the explosion but also knowing that there was nothing he could do while he at the same time definitely knew what had happened, that the child had been colour blind and therefore had mistook the red and the green newt talon – at the same time remembering that his father, that Janos Amity had been colour blind as well. _

Gasping he shot up in his bed at the moment when he reached the small body of a child, laying on the floor in a bloody heap, a small and scrawny child with black hair and green eyes, and running a trembling hand over his face, aware of the fact that it definitive hadn't been a nightmare but a memory he gasped.

He didn't know where this particular memory came from, because he definitely had never had this particular student in his class, a small and skinny scarecrow with green eyes and black hair that looked up at him with eyes – defiantly and asking for help at the same time.

Well, at the end of that day – he at least knew that this green eyed and black haired boy would arrive. He wasn't at the Dursleys and so it wasn't Harry Potter, but he would arrive. By the end of that day he knew – somewhere out there was a small and scrawny black haired and green eyed boy, in a cupboard, sleeping, and by the end of the day he still had this picture in the back of his mind, the picture of that child that looked up at him, green eyes silently asking for help.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_July, 31st 1989 – Janos Amity's ninth anniversary of death and Severus trying to figure out what child could become his father one day._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

162 Points - Slytherin

117 Points - Ravenclaw

068 Points - Gryffindor

108 Points - Hufflepuff


	10. remember the future

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

April, 04th 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_**July, 31st 1988 – Amity Manor – 11:14 pm**_

__A moment later there was a cauldron in the back of the classroom that exploded and he was just in time to get up a shield between this exploding cauldron and the students, knowing that the first year Gryffindor boy that had been standing behind the cauldron was not included into the shield, knowing that the boy surely wouldn't survive the explosion but also knowing that there was nothing he could do while he at the same time definitely knew what had happened, that the child had been colour blind and therefore had mistook the red and the green newt talon – at the same time remembering that his father, that Janos Amity had been colour blind as well. __

_Gasping he shot up in his bed the moment he reached the small body of a child, laying on the floor in a bloody heap, a small and scrawny child with black hair and green eyes, and running a trembling hand over his face, aware of the fact that it definitive hadn't been a nightmare but a memory he gasped._

_He didn't know where this particular memory came from, because he definitely had never had this particular student in his class, a small and skinny scarecrow with green eyes and black hair that looked up at him with eyes – defiantly and asking for help at the same time._

_Well, at the end of that day – he at least knew that this green eyed and black haired boy would arrive. He wasn't at the Dursleys and so it wasn't Harry Potter, but he would arrive. By the end of that day he knew – somewhere out there was a small and scrawny black haired and green eyed boy, in a cupboard, sleeping, and by the end of the day he still had this picture in the back of his mind, the picture of that child that looked up at him, green eyes silently asking for help._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter ten **

**Remember the future  
><strong>

**July, 31st 1989 – Amity Manor – 02:14 am**

Taking a deep breath Severus' eyes fell onto the carpet, the cream coloured carpet that still held the ink stain from where his quill had fallen to the floor back then, the day when Abraxas had brought his father home after a raid on Death Eaters who had attacked the Longbottom Mansion, when he had jumped up, startled and scared that his dad might die, or already _be_ dead, his quill scattering to the floor, splashing ink.

Janos Amity later had simply drawn a face on the carpet, the ink stains being the eyes and the nose of a strange animal his dad only had seen in his mind.

Well, that had been Janos.

There was this special un-cheatable ink that couldn't be removed, and so Janos simply had made a picture from the stains and he even now could hear his father's words: "if life hands you a lemon, then make lemonade".

Janos.

Harry.

It was time.

**August, 1st 1988 – Amity Manor **– **sometime in the middle of the night  
><strong>

He knew that there never had been this particular child in his class while at the same time he knew that it had not been a dream but a memory – and he also knew that this child, this child _was_ Harry Potter. His resemblance to that tiny little creature that had taken tiny little steps towards him and then had held up his hands, clearly wanting to being picked up, that had looked up at him with his overwhelming bright green eyes, that then had smeared his robes with snot whenever he _had_ picked the little imp up at Lily's – he knew that it was a memory he had of Harry Potter.

But how, how in Merlin's name could a memory of Harry Potter being a first year student at Hogwarts come to his mind? It couldn't be a memory, it was impossible, it had to be a vision of some kind, a dream.

Harry Potter

Janos Amity.

The same green eyes.

The same scrawny scarecrow.

**July, 31st 1989 – Amity Manor**

But there _had_ been memories.

He had found the memories, those memories Janos had tried to hide, the memories his father had put into vials and then had hidden so that he, Severus, wouldn't accidentally stumble over them during one or another of their occlumency lessons, and he had found them, had watched them.

Of course there had been times throughout the year, for the last few months, times during which he had thought, and thought, and thought about the entire situation …

Well, he had known that Cederic Diggory would be a sixth year student in Janos' fourth year. He also had known that the youngest Weasley boy would be in the same year as Janos and so he also had known that Janos had started – or would start – Hogwarts on September first, 1991 – therefore he'd had a street number.

1991.

He had gone through the known list of first years that would arrive in nearly two years, and he had cancelled out nearly all of them immediately as they either had no aunt or uncle, or wouldn't look anything like Janos had looked and so the only possible candidates that had been left had been Terry Boot, Anthony Goldstein, Stephen Cornfoot, Wayne Hopkins or Ernie Macmillan.

Or Harry Potter.

The Goldsteins however as well as the Macmillans and the Hopkins were well known wizarding families and he doubted that – either in the future nor in the past – their children could have been able hiding from them as well as Janos had from _his_ family. He nevertheless had visited them but no, none of them would once become Janos Amity, surely not.

So it had to be either Terry Boot or Stephen Cornfoot.

Or Harry Potter.

He had known this all year long, and all the dreams he'd had, all those – _memories_ – they all … well, they all had been about Harry Potter, the scrawny little scarecrow that once had smeared snot all over his robes.

But Harry Potter had become a rat-faced child that bullied his aunt and uncle into doing as he wished.

And yet – he knew that it had to be a student that lived with his uncle – but surely there might be an aunt too? And this uncle was called Vernon – maybe Vernon Dursley? And Albus had assured him that the boy – that _Harry_ – was safe and well cared for by Petunia and Vernon Dursley.

But still – there still was the fact that the boy he knew as Harry Potter had become a child that was nothing like Janos Amity had been.

Forcing his eyes away from the stains on the cream coloured carpet he snapped out of his thoughts and turned towards his father's bedroom.

During the past two days, since he had seen the _…_ while he had been thinking, he had changed a few things in the manor, had brought his own things from his room and had scattered them in his father's rooms, his clothes he had brought to his father's bedroom and his books he had brought to his father's study. And now his old room was empty except for the furniture and the carpet, and except for his old toys and children's books.

Flooing to Hogwarts he went to his quarters.

He had prepared Amity Manor, and quickly waving his wand and concentrating onto the guest chamber in his private quarters at school, he prepared this home of his too, prepared his home for a child maybe living here one day, maybe sooner than later even.

**November, 1st 1988 – Amity Manor ** **– **sometime in the middle of the night**  
><strong>

_He didn't want this!_

_He hated it!_

_But he had promised it to Albus, he had …_

_Raising his wand he for a moment wondered why Potter had trusted him, why the boy kept silent, why he didn't try … _

_Uttering the words, the words that would kill, he murdered his only real friend, the man he trusted, the man that had trusted him, his only alley and he knew that he had no one to back him up now, no one who would speak up for him – he was doomed as a criminal, as a Death Eater, as a murderer, even if he had promised Albus that he would do it, because no one knew about their arrangement. _

_Well, fate had spoken and should he survive that war and then get caught, then he would be sentenced to a lifelong stay in Azkaban._

_That was Albus Dumbledore – the man that had sent a child to walk towards his own death by free will, the man that had sent the same child back to the battles, to watch his friends dying, the man that had ordered him, Snape, to murder him, his only friend, and therefore sentence him to a murderer, to a lifelong stay in Azkaban.  
><em>

_"Fight back!" The boy screamed behind him while he left Hogwarts. _

_He didn't run. He would not flee the place that was his only home he'd ever had, he did not run down that hill, he only hurried Draco away. No one was to see the boy together with them, not now, not after Albus had been killed – by him._

_And yet, he only blocked the spell Potter cast at him, again. _

_He could understand the brat, even admired the boy's bravery, running after him, running after an entire bunch of Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Grayback – and he knew that Potter knew them, had already met them before. _

_"Fight back, you coward!" Potter again screamed, and growling he thought that the idiot boy didn't know what he got himself into if he should catch them before they had left Hogwarts' grounds. Both, Bellatrix and Grayback would hand the boy over to the Dark Lord _– _after they'd had some fun with the idiot child _– _and he knew that by now the Dark Lord too had any other interests than killing the boy quickly, like he might have done a few years ago. _

_No, he would make a slow and painful show out of it and he would make it last for days or weeks, maybe even months. So he turned after sending the others ahead. _

_How very fortunate, being the Dark Lord's second hand man, at least this way the others obeyed him without questions._

_"Don't call me a coward, Potter." He growled darkly. Well, he knew that he wasn't a coward, anyone meeting the Dark Lord as a spy at a regular basis was anything but a coward and he knew that, and neither was he really angry at the boy for his insulting him, could even understand his blaming because he, he felt just as bad as Potter surely felt, but he wanted it being believable, it wouldn't do if Potter knew that he actually was concerned for his safety._

_Well, Potter still was a student at Hogwarts after all, and he, Snape, he still was a teacher here until it was called otherwise._

_"He trusted you!" The boy screamed, casting another hex and he blocked this one again, forcefully enough so that the idiot child was thrown back a few yards and he took a slow step towards him, hoping that it looked threateningly instead of concerned while he narrowed his eyes. _

_Watching green eyes dropping closed he gave a deep sigh before he reached out with his senses to make sure that he was alone at the clearing, without any Death Eaters remaining behind before he lowered himself down to one knee beside the idiot child, watching him for another moment, the pale face and the too small body of a child that had to carry too much weight on too small shoulders too early, keeping him from growing tall and suddenly he realized that – maybe he had wronged this idiot boy. _

_Casting a patronus he sent it up at the castle with a message to Minerva, about where she could find her missing lion before he got up and then turned after one last look at the idiot child._

_"**I** – trusted you." The wind seemed to whisper and he had to force himself to go on and leave everything behind without looking back, including the child, Lily's child, that at the most inconvenient moments possible admitted his trust to him, silently asking for help without words even. _

_Well, fate had spoken._

Waking he bolted upright and he held his breath for a moment, trying to get the picture of a child laying on the ground out of his mind, a child that reminded him so very, very much at Janos Amity – a child that was called Harry Potter.

"Fate might riffle and handing out the cards, Severus child, but you are the one playing the game." Janos' voice seemed to whisper through the room with a voice, it was the voice of the boy from his dreams, only that it sounded calmer and gentler and softer, like the voice of Janos Amity, like his father's voice.

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts**

He didn't bother with changing into any muggle attire.

He hadn't worn muggle attire all year long while watching several houses randomly, namely the house of the Boots and the house of the Cornfoots.

And the house of the Dursleys.

Frowning he put on his boots and tied the laces, trying to not remember how Janos Amity had taught him how to do this, knowing that he couldn't afford such memories at the moment, not now.

He knew that it was Harry Potter.

Neither Terry Boot nor Stephen Cornfoot were anything like Janos had been, but Potter – the boy that had left the Dursleys' house one day, only three days ago actually … and he had seen him, a child, a scrawny little child that couldn't be older than five or six years, moving slowly and carefully over the stony path towards the garbage can, black hair standing in all directions while the clothes looked horrendous, too large with stains and holes in them and for a moment the child had lifted his head, had looked at him even, green eyes looking into his direction, green eyes in a thin and pale face, surrounded by dark circles and thin wire-framed glasses.

**July, 14th 1989 – Amity Manor **– **sometime in the late evening hours  
><strong>

He placed the journal he had been reading in at the table, thinking.

His dad never had seen the child, and yet, he had not only known that Lily's child would be a boy named Harry, but he also had cared so deeply about both of them. How often had he asked Lily to _not_ risk the child's life because he, Janos, didn't wish to die without a reason. It hadn't made any sense to him back then, hadn't made a sense for a long time actually, but the more he thought and the more he accepted the fact that maybe, just _maybe_, it _could_ have been Harry Potter who had changed the timeline – then he realized that yes, it had started making sense to him.

And then Harry Potter had been born, only two hours after Janos Amity had died, at the very same day and he even had been _there_ to get the child into life, the newborn child that looked up at him with such startlig green eyes, calmly and trusting, like Janos Amity would have looked at him – it couldn't be coincidence.

Opening the leather bound, black book he for another moment looked at the untidy handwriting that had been his father's, remembering the day he had found the man's journal.

He had gone into the man's bedroom on October, 31st 1982 when he had come here to remember Lily's death, searching for a bit of comfort by simply being in the room that had been his father's, trying to feel the reminder of his father's presence and still finding traces of his father's magical signature, even four years after the man's death.

He had been startled back then – but now? Of course he still found magical traces of his father – because he simply wasn't dead! Because he still lived! _Maybe_.

Or he again lived. _Maybe_. He wasn't really sure what exactly would be the correct term. It never changed, when it came to Janos Amity, that man always had been a riddle and he still was a riddle, would always be a riddle, he was sure of that.

Janos Amity.

For a moment he huffed while he looked back at the book in his hands, a book that held many years of memories from his father, thousands of pages while it looked so small and simple from the outside, as if it only held a few hundred pages.

'_And another reason is – the name Amity, I simply have made up this name at the spur of the moment back then. I knew that I couldn't have gone by my real name anymore, it simply was impossible and so I needed a new name, and quickly. I don't know what made me choosing the name Janos Amity, but I also knew that I could not have Severus living with a name that did not really exist, that only was made up in haste.' _

He had tried summoning his fifth year potions book earlier in the week, after another thought that had hit him, and the blasted thing hadn't come. He had searched for it everywhere, but without any success, it simply was not there and all week long he had wondered where it might be.

But maybe Janos Amity had not chosen that name by random, but maybe – just maybe – he had read it in his, Severus, potions book in his former timeline, because he, Severus, he had written his father's name into this book one day in his fifth class, out of boredom only, and – and what if Harry Potter had gotten this book into his hands? Had stumbled over his father's name and then unconsciously had used it back then when he had entered their timeline? Because the book – somehow – has gone back in time? Or would go back in time? Was it a snake that bit its own tail?

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts**

His face hardened when he took the travelling cloak from the wardrobe and slipped into the heavy and black fabric.

Janos had lived a harsh life without love in younger years, having been abused and neglected, starved by his uncle.

By his uncle he still had not found yet even if he never had given up on trying to find out who exactly this uncle was.

Yes, he had a fairly good idea now – even if this boy they had introduced to him as Harry Potter was surely never Janos Amity. But there were those memories he had viewed and – the boy in them had been not the boy they had introduced to him as Harry Potter – not to mention that _this_ boy, with time, rather had seemed a visitor whenever he had seen him while he had watched the Dursleys' house during the past few weeks.

And then there had been this scrawny, little child leaving the house, three days ago, looking so much alike the small Harry Potter that had taken his first careful steps into his, Severus' direction, lifting his small arms in a clear demand for being picked up so that he could smear snot all over his robes – only that there had not been the same life in the child's green eyes like there always had been in small Harry Potter's eyes.

But the most important things had been those blasted memories his father had left behind, unintentionally, maybe having forgotten about them, not thinking that he, Severus, would find them one day.

There had been memories that had been new to him, memories from Janos' childhood and youth, and he had been shocked, sometimes breathless with anger, he had been speechless. And then there had been memories he already knew, or had guessed about, but which he now could see with the eyes of an adult instead of the child he'd been back then.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 27th 1989 – Amity Manor**

At first he had been sitting there, the small box with the vials in his hands and unsure. He wasn't really startled that his father had removed one or another memory from his mind so that he wouldn't stumble over it during his occlumency lessons, it was only normal and any teacher in this area would act the same, including himself, but he wondered why the man never had reintegrated them into his mind later. What could they hold so that the man didn't want them back? He had been unsure if he really should view them, if he really should breach the man's trust like this.

But now he had poured the first vial into the pensive and taking one last deep breath he touched his wand to the swirling liquid, entering the memory his father had tried to keep hidden from him.

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_It was as if hell had broken loose from one moment to the next and the only thing he could make out at first was screaming while he tried to orientate himself. _

_The piercing screams of a child that had to be in horrible pain or fear and an adult that was screaming at said child to stop screaming. A moment later he could hear a child being hit and the moment his eyes had adjusted to the change of light, to the dim surroundings, the moment he had turned into the direction where the ruckus came from, he could make out a fat whale of a man he recognized at Vernon Dursley towering over a small and scrawny child that couldn't be older than four or five years and taking a step closer he immediately knew that it neither was Dudley Dursley nor Harry Potter. _

_But could there live a third child in that household?_

_It was a small and scrawny child, a skeletal child actually that clearly got too little food, dark circles beneath tightly closed eyes in a pale and thin face clearly indicating that there was too little sleep either. But the worst were the bruises and the bleeding cuts and just while he took another step closer he could hear the sound of a bone snapping in two where Dursley had grabbed the child's arm, followed by another piercing scream from the boy, followed by anther barking from Dursley, followed by more hitting and beating and he couldn't help wonder why none of the neighbours came to investigate, surely they had to hear the noise. _

**End of memory**

Stumbling out of the pensive, shocked, he took a deep breath before he leaned both his hands at the counter and then closed his eyes. What he had seen had not only been simply a slap in the face like one or another child might get upon having done something wrong enough for his parents to lose control for a moment but abuse. Clear and horrible abuse, an adult beating a child over and over again, breaking bones and drawing blood.

He hadn't been sure if he should follow his instincts and help the child even though the knowledge that it was a memory only and that he couldn't do anything against it, or if he should go on watching it – or if he should simply leave the memory.

Well, he had decided for the third option, knowing that he always could come back to watch the memory in full in a later time and he suddenly realized how very bad the abuse and the neglect had been. He wasn't used to such behaviour from his father who had never beaten him and with shaking hands from his anger and shock he poured another vial into the pensive and then he took another deep breath, steeling himself for the worst before he touched the swirling liquid with his wand again, entering the next memory.

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_It was clearly Janos Amity standing there, in the midst of the great hall, the great hall that was destroyed to the very ground, Janos Amity, the same boy he knew from his earliest childhood, the very boy that had been mercilessly beaten in the memory before, only older but just as vulnerable – scrawny, pale and with bent shoulders, his hands hanging loosely at his side and his wand being in his hand, held just as loosely. _

_And watching the boy, the child, standing there, a fifteen year old child, he suddenly realized – this had to be Harry Potter. A child that so much looked like James Potter he knew from Hogwarts, the black mop of hair that seemed messed up and standing at all ends, the same round wire-framed glasses, and Lily's eyes, but at the same time he knew why he never had brought his own memories from his father together with James Potter. _

_First – he had been too young back then, when his dad had been a child himself, he didn't remember so far back, not much at least and later on, when he had been old enough to remember, his father had changed, Janos' appearance had changed from that of an unsure child that had lost everything and everyone, into that of a young man that stood in life._

_ And second – well, there were so many differences to James Potter, he immediately realized. _

_There was so much sadness and hopelessness in his father's eyes it almost hurt him, Severus, physically while watching it, a sadness and a hopelessness, a helplessness that he never had seen in either James Potter's or Lily's eyes. Janos Amity had been softer and quieter, calmer than James Potter had been, he had been gentler and he hadn't been a bully. _

_There was nothing from Potter's arrogance in the pale face he right now watched, nor anything from Lily's ability to enjoy life. _

_A moment later there was a clattering sound and then the boy in the memory turned and walked away, leaving behind a wand that lay on the ground, still moving_.

**End of memory**

Stepping out from the memory, calmer this time than he had stepped from the last one, he frowned while he wondered – how had his dad's wand had come back to him if he had left it in his old timeline? Had it come back to him later? Had it followed its Master as one or another magical item maybe would? He knew that his father barely had used his wand that he had done most things without it, channelling his magic through his hands but at the same time he knew that his father had _had_ his wand. And he knew that it had been this particular wand he had seen in this memory, he would recognize it anywhere.

Shoving his questions back for later inspection he poured the next vial into the pensive and then entered the next memory of a man he had known as his father.

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_There was a loud blast, a blinding light, and then there was nothing._

_Trying to get his eyes accustomed to the new situation he barely recognized a dark heap on the floor, with a bleeding cut on his forehead and he immediately recognized the man that – he recognized Tobias Snape laying there._

_But if Tobias Snape was there, then surely he had to be there too and curiously he looked around the room that had been their living room once and he easily could find the dead body of … of his mother._

_Merlin!_

_He had expected a lot of things – but not this! He hadn't expected to see the dead body of his mother while viewing Janos Amity's memories and yet, the man had taken him from there! He could have known, he should have known!  
><em>

_Merlin indeed!_

_His eyes glued to the body he took a step towards her, towards his mother, towards the woman who always had shielded him from his father's wrath whenever one or another strange thing had happened that had made his father angry._

_His father. _

_It wasn't his father. _

_Tobias Snape wasn't his father, Janos Amity had been his father, was his father still!  
><em>

_"Mom." He whispered, kneeling down beside her and stretching out his hand as if he would be able touching her and for a moment he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think and he couldn't – he couldn't exist, he couldn't live! How had Janos always taken the pain from him about his missing mother? How had he always made him happy again after he had asked for his mom who wouldn't come anymore and how had he always … but there was no Janos here anymore to comfort him when he wanted his mother like when he'd been a small child. _

_Because Janos was dead, as dead as his mother was. _

_A small noise, a sob coming from his left made him looking over and he could see a small child in old and ripped clothes sitting in a corner, a boy with his knees drawn close to his chest._

_Merlin! Had he been so small once? _

_"Hush, child." A soft voice added to the memory now, a soft voice that nevertheless sounded _– raspy _somehow, hoarse, as if the owner of the voice had overstrained his voice earlier but he immediately knew whom that voice belonged to, turned a bit to watch a young Janos Amity approaching, startled over how young _– _childlike actually _– _this boy looked while somehow two memories addled together and he could feel the fear he'd felt back then while he watched his smaller self trying to back away, deeper into the corner. "I won't harm you. You're Severus, aren't you?" _

_He remembered that he hadn't known if he should say yes, because his mother always had told him to be careful with strangers and this boy had been a stranger, a stranger with dirty and blood stained clothes even and he could watch his smaller self being unsure and scared. _

_A moment later the teen reached out and simply took hold of the younger Severus Snape, pulled him out of the corner and he shook his head while he watched himself trying to struggle away, nearly growled at his own stupidity back then. _

_But well, he hadn't known Janos back then, and he hadn't known that he would be safe with the other boy, he just had been a small child back then, a small child that had been abused and that had just minutes ago watched his mother being killed by his drunken father, a child that had been too scared to think properly. _

**End of memory**

Stepping from the memory he took a deep breath to get his emotions back under control, to get _himself_ back under control.

Merlin! This couldn't have happened! This really couldn't have happened, not like this and surely not to him and summoning a cup of coffee he actually had to sit down!

Of course he had not forgotten about _how_ he had come to live with Janos, about _how_ the young man had become his father, but viewing it now, watching the scene, how Janos had carried him away, all the way holding him safely, it had been – it had robbed off his breath for a moment.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts**

He actually had needed a pause there.

He had watched three memories only, out of so many, many vials, and he already had needed a pause there because he had made an all-around emotional fool of a Hufflepuff out of himself.

And then he had gone to the Dursleys' house again, watching the house like he so often had done lately, like he so often had done during the past few months, and then there he had seen … there he had seen the child. The scrawny little scarecrow that looked like the child from Janos' memories.

Harry, Harry Potter.

Again he remembered of how alike Potter this young Janos from the last memory had looked, how differently nevertheless, while he slipped into his cloak, walking towards the door and leaving his quarters, wondering why in Merlin's name he hadn't seen the similarities before. Potter and he, they'd been in the same year. In different houses, yes, but in the same year and at the latest in their fifth or seventh year he should have seen how much James Potter looked like Janos Amity had in earlier years.

Well, if one thing was for sure, then it was the fact that Harry Potter had definitely acted with less animosity and dislike towards him, Severus Snape than he had shown the boy before and where the teen could have had his field day upon finding him in form of a helpless toddler, he had taken him to give him a better life than the one he'd had, to give him the best life ever and he didn't have to wonder what his life would have been like if that boy had not come to get him back then.

If only he could say the same for himself, because neither in the past nor in this timeline had he met this boy as unprejudiced as the boy had met him but had even added to the teen's pain in the past timeline just to have the boy paying for something that was not his to pay.

**Memory of Severus Snape  
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_"I want you to summon Potter and his parents immediately, Albus." Janos said the moment he finally had stopped talking, was resting his head against his father's shoulder, feeling tired beyond anything he ever had felt._

_"Don't you think that this is a bit overreacted, Janos?" The headmaster asked and he sighed. He loved Albus, not as much as he loved his dad, but he loved him, but he had known that the older wizard wouldn't do anything. Really, he knew why his dad sometimes cursed the older man under his breath._

_"I will have nothing of this, Albus." His father growled darkly and he lifted his head, looking up into his father's pale face. Did he mean that seriously? "You either summon them or I will pay them a visit right now. It isn't the first time that Severus has been hurt by Potter and I will not allow this to repeat itself, not if it goes as far as it goes right now. Potter is old enough to think before he opens this blasted mouth of his." _

**End of memory  
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Well, back then he only had thought of the bullying during the past few months, but now – of course Janos had known that there had been more! Because Harry Potter had known and he had changed this timeline so that … for a moment he could feel that there had been more, knew that there had been something deathly and he knew – it would have repeated itself had Janos not prevented it.

Hurrying down the corridors he again remembered the last few days.

**July, 28th 1989 – Amity Manor**

**Memory of Janos Amity**

_"What do you want?" His dad called out and he already could hear that the man was anything than pleased. _

_"I want to be here for you today, Janos." Abraxas' growled back and he frowned, remembering that day. He had been there back then, down the corridor together with Lucius, but this time, viewing it with the eyes of an adult, and being there, in the room instead of just outside the door, actually viewing the scene instead of just hearing it, he suddenly could understand just how young and unsure his father had been back then and how much already had been on his shoulders, could understand the very pain of it all. _

_"I do not appreciate your presence, Abraxas, just leave." The younger of the two called out._

_"I won't, Janos. Not today." Well, yes – that was the Abraxas he knew, and he knew that he never had given way, year for year, for year and always on this very day._

_"You either leave by free will or I'll hex you into the next universe."_

_"Threats won't work, dad." He murmured, shaking his head._

_"You may try, my friend, but I won't leave you alone today."_

_"What do you want?" Shaking his head he huffed for a moment. Stupid question and it showed how much a child Janos had been back then. _

_"I want to be here for you."_

_"I've killed at least 50 students, children, I've killed my friends, my parents, my godfather and other people. You really seek the company of a murderer?"_

_"You have not …"_

_"Shut up! I have killed them! I'm responsible for their deaths."_

_"You're not, Janos. You've fought in a war and in a war people die."_

_"I've killed a student, and four adults even before the last battles. They didn't just die in a war." _

_"You've been a child and you're not responsible for their deaths. You …"_

_"I am! You don't know! Just shut up and piss off!"_

_Lifting his eyebrow Severus watched the scene. He didn't remember his father having used such foul language back then, again a reminder that it hadn't been the always calm and collected adult but – simply a child, a teenager that bore too much pain for being able to handle it._

_"No, I won't just 'piss off', Janos. You can do what you want, I won't leave you today."_

_"Why? I don't need your pity!"_

_"You don't have my pity. But I'll give you the comfort you deserve and that no one else dares giving you on this particular day as no one dares coming near you."_

_"You too should leave. I'm a murderer after all."_

_"You're not a murderer and I'll tell you this a thousand times more if I have to. You've been a child and you've fought in a war, Janos, and in a war people die. Even Cederic and your godfather have died as war victims. Not during the last battles but during the war and as victims of the war. You have not killed them. Cederic and your godfather had been killed by Death Eaters. You only have been an innocent child, Janos!"_

_"You don't know what I've done! I've cast the unforgivables! I belong into Azkaban! I've killed with the killing curse and I've even used the imperious, and the cruciatus. I'm no better than the Death Eaters are! I'm a murderer, I'm a freak, a monster!"_

_"You're none of those things, Janos."_

_"Am!"_

_"No, you're not. And you only have used the unforgivables because you didn't have any other chance. You did what you had to do in order to not only survive but in order to end this war, Janos. You're not the …"_

_"Shut up finally and leave while you still can, you bastard! I don't want to hear it! I am …"_

_"I won't and you can't make me!"_

_"TRY ME! I want you to JUST GO!"_

_Well – again he didn't remember it, and so he winced when his father in the memory stared yelling at Abraxas. Even back then he never had heard his father screaming or yelling at someone and maybe he didn't remember it this time, because he hadn't been really present in the room but only at the other side of the door. _

_"And I won't!"_

_"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

_"THEN TELL ME YOU IDIOT!"_

_"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"_

_"IT IS AS YOU'RE MY FRIEND!"_

_"I'M NOT! WE'RE NO FRIENDS!"_

_"STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!"_

_"JUST PISS OFF FINALLY!"_

_"NO, I WON'T!"_

_"ABICIO CORPUS!"_

_Well, of course he had known that Janos actually had started hexing Abraxas, that he had done so for a few years until the pain of it all had dimmed a bit, until he had been calmer, even on this day of the year, but nevertheless he actually had ducked the moment the first hex was hurtled through the room in the memory, as if it could hit him and he even had drawn his wand. _

_"PROTECTO!"_

_"MOBILICORPUS!"_

_"PROTEGO!"_

_"SERPENSORTIA!"_

_"SALVIO HEXIA!"_

_"INSCENDIO!"_

_"AQUAMENTI!"_

_"STUPIFY!"_

_"CAVE INIMICUM!"_

_"REDUCTO!"_

_"IMPEDIMENTA!"_

_"CONFUNDO! – OBSCURE! …"_

_"EXPELLIARMUS! – PETRIFICUS TOTALUS – SILENCIO!" Abraxas finally called out and then there was a deafening silence for a moment before Abraxas started speaking again. "It is enough, Janos! … It is enough! You will listen now, you idiot! …"_

_A moment later Janos actually and physically went against Abraxas and tried to get him out of the room, out of his quarters, but it was clear from the very first approach that the smaller teen had no chance against the taller and stronger young man. But it spoke volumes of the pain his father had felt, of the emotional pain that only needed an outlet, because he never ever had seen his father physically advancing on anyone ever and he was startled in an entirely new way. _

_Another moment later Abraxas had his father in a tight embrace, refusing to release the struggling smaller body while his voice still sounded calm._

_"You can blame yourself for as long as you wish because of the pain of this all and because you are used to being blamed for everything anyway, because you are used to blaming yourself for everything too, but it is not your fault and you should place the fault where it belongs to. Blame your loving uncle, your just as loving aunt, blame Dumbledore and blame Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Blame even the Severus Snape in your old timeline, I do not care, but do not place the blame on your shoulders because it doesn't belong there! You have done nothing wrong, my friend, and you are too young to understand everything that comes with abuse because no one ever told you, but the blame belongs to them and not to you."_

**End of memory**

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts  
><strong>

He had seen his father crying in Abraxas arms and he rather had looked like a child, like a small child than like the young teen he'd been, clinging to his friend's robes like to a lifeline and Abraxas had held his younger friend without once pushing him away or blaming him for his outburst.

Stopping in his steps for a moment, allowing himself a moment of remembrance he again pictured his father back then, felt the emotional pain of it and again he saw everything with new eyes, with the eyes of the adult he now was, and with the knowledge of all the pieces, even the bad ones he'd had received over the past few days, even with the knowledge of what Janos had done in later years – now, if he took this piece too now, and put it in its place – the picture changed. The meaning of the picture had changed. Everything had changed and where he at first had been angry, he had started to understand after he had received all the pieces of the picture.

Taking a deep breath he continued hurrying down the corridor and then along the path that led to the gates, beyond the wards and from where he could apparate, still remembering the last few days.

**July, 28th 1989 – Amity Manor**

**Memory of Janos Amity**

_"Do you not think that I would rather see you with my son than with this man that only will cause … it has to be, Lily, or the future will be changed so drastically that it would be fatal. The downfall of all wizarding folk would be the outcome." Janos said and he could see that the young man was close to tears, the face so pale he feared that Janos would drop at any moment and the slender hands trembled violently. _

_"But I don't want to, I love Severus and I cPotter's a git and …"_

_Watching Lily crying too his heart hurt, his chest feeling as if someone was squeezing it between an iron fist while he wondered what exacty the meaning of this was. So Lily had been in love with him still? Lily had thought of Potter being a git? But why had she then __… __  
><em>

_"I know, Lily, and I'm so very, very sorry that it has to be me telling you, that you have to leave Severus in the first place, but your son has to be born, yours and Potters, Harry, he has to be born or all wizard kind will be doomed over the next centuries, destroyed step by step until in the end – there won't be a magical being left." His father said and again another piece of the puzzle fell into place. "I know that Severus will hate me forever for this, but it has to be done. I have watched them all dying, Lily, large and old wizarding families, extinguished as if they never had been there while only a handful wizards had been left, Voldemort's Death Eaters that would destroy themselves within the next two generations at the latest, doomed to die because there would be no fresh blood and they were not ready to mix with the muggles. As much as I am sorry, but it has to be done. This child has to be born, there is no other chance or thousands of wizards and witches will die."_

**End of memory**

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts**

At first he had been angry, at Janos for asking something like this from Lily, at Janos for taking Lily away from him, at Lily for listening to Janos even, at Albus for not interfering, at himself for not fighting more for Lily.

But his anger soon had vanished, at the latest after – at the latest last night when he had fully understood and as much as it still pained him, as much as it – so many deaths.

Lily dead, because of that choice, and Janos dead because of it, Abraxas dead and …

Only later in the evening had he seen that Janos had doomed himself to death the moment he had spoken to Lily that day, that he had signed his own death warrant while asking Lily to marry Potter so that Harry Potter would be conceived and then born. Because if he hadn't asked this of Lily, if he just would have ignored it, then the child wouldn't have had a chance in the beginning and Janos would have lived on in this timeline.

He had watched the memory a second time, until the end, had watched his father throwing a full blown tantrum the moment Lily had been gone, throwing everything he could reach at the next wall, punching the wall next to him until his knuckles had been bleeding and he was sure that he'd had broken more than one of his knuckles, until he'd had no energy left and had sunk down the wall, hitting his head back at the wall with all force before he finally had been sitting there, crying for what seemed to be hours and he had watched the same memory a second time, after he had understood all and suddenly he had known how hard it had been for his father to do what he had done.

The only time he ever had meddled in his life – and it had changed the man considerably. He knew that Janos hadn't been the same man anymore after this. And it had been the only time he ever had seen the man crying, except for the one time with Abraxas. So no, he wasn't angry at his father, his anger had remained for three or four hours only, not longer.

Walking down the path and then arriving the gates, not even stopping to open them but only lifting his hand to bid them opening for him he remembered another vial he had poured into the pensive to view it, not even paying attention to the gates that opened for him to let him through before they closed behind him the moment he had passed them.

**July, 29th 1989 – Amity Manor**

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_"I need you to promise me this, Albus." His dad said, pleaded with Albus and he could see that it was shortly before he had died. The pale face was already thinner than it usually had been and it was drawn, tired, so very, very tired it was startling. _

_Of course he'd been there until the very end and he had seen his father dying, but seeing it now again, it was – starling. _

_"Don't you think that Severus should know about this, Janos?" Albus asked and he narrowed his eyes at the two men. "Maybe he could do more than I can, maybe he could take you from the Dursleys when you arrive there, you wouldn't have to go through the same abuse then, my dear boy."_

_"No, Albus!" His father insisted. "You must promise me this. Severus can never know about this or he will hate me forever and I couldn't live with that. I have done enough already, Albus and I can't die in peace with the knowledge that Severus will hate me, you have promised me before I told you!"_

_"And I won't tell him." Albus said. "I only meant that you should tell him. He won't hate you, Janos. Severus loves you so very much, he'll never hate you, the bond between the two of you is too strong."_

_"He will hate me if he knows, Albus." His father said, dejectedly. "He has hated me so very much back then, when he's been my teacher, and he will hate me again. I can't risk this, I can't risk losing what we had, he's my son now and I love him so much! I won't have long, a few days only, Albus, but I'll go because I know that there is a reason for my death, that it won't be in vain and that I go with Severus' love. I rather will go back to the Dursleys and live with them than having Severus hating me." _

**End of memory**

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Hogwarts**

This blasted idiot man!

How could his father had been so very, very stupid to believe that he could hate him?

No, he didn't hate his father.

He'd been angry at first, yes, anyone would have been because he really had loved Lily, but in the end he had understood. With all the pieces of the puzzle he understood and no, he was _not_ angry.

Well yes, maybe he was a bit angry at Janos' stupidity, of this idiot Gryffindor believing that he would hate him, that he would abandon his love, that he was to be blamed for everything, and he even was angry a bit for the idiot Gryffindor not telling them earlier so that they could have found a different solution – no, his father had to sacrifice himself like he'd done!

Bloody idiot Gryffindor!

But well, the young man had never had anyone who had told him differently, who had told him how valuable his life actually was and Abraxas had been right, even he, Severus, the Severus Snape from Janos' old timeline, even he was to be blamed for that, he couldn't help thinking while he apparated away from Hogwarts, remembering the last memory he had viewed the day before.

**July, 30th 1989 – Amity Manor**

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_"Surely you do not believe for one moment that this essay is even close to the lowest standard that could be expected from a student at an academic institution like Hogwarts, Potter, because if you do, then you must be even more stupid than you have given away with this piece of – work, if one can call it such."_

_For a moment he couldn't understand the scene as it clearly was his voice, his classroom and he standing before – the one student that looked up at him with large green eyes and black hair, a scrawny little scarecrow, smaller than the rest of the students and the abuse as well as the neglect were clearly visible – but he knew that he never would handle a student like that, and he also knew that he would have seen the signs and that he would have acted on them, that he would have at least reported the abuse and that he never would be as harsh to an abused child as he seemed to be to this boy._

_There was no answer, but his memory self didn't seem to expect an answer. _

_"Ten points from Gryffindor, for the saddest attempt of an essay I ever have received during my time as a teacher."_

_Well, he was shocked at himself, he had to admit that and he nearly missed the wavering of the scene before it had changed, but if he had thought that the next scene would be better, then he had been wrong. _

_"You hopefully do not call this slobbery mess a potion, Potter, because if you do, then we should test what it causes." His memory self said while standing in front of Janos' cauldron, gazing down into a pale face and he wondered why his memory self didn't see the signs of abuse! He clearly could see them, the fear the boy radiated with every fibre, the desperation, the need to please, the longing for just one single friendly word – why could this Severus Snape there not see it? _

_"Get an empty vial, Potter." He heard himself ordering, watched the boy obeying, his movements careful and yes – at the very latest he right now realized that _– _it might be Harry Potter, in this memory, but at the same time it was Janos Amity. Only Janos had moved so very carefully, careful to not only spend too much energy but careful to avoid pain by wrong movement too, careful to always stay out of the range of any adult's hand. _

_"Now fill this vial with your – 'potion' _– _and stopper it so that we have an example to test on you during your detention tonight." He said before extending his hand and wordlessly demanding the vial from the clearly scared child, his eyes hard and unforgiving, another moment and wand-waving later the cauldron was empty and his memory self turned towards the front of the classroom. "That makes a zero for your today's _– _'work' _– _and ten points from Gryffindor for being a lazy but arrogant celebrity, Potter, just like your father." _

_Behind remained a downtrodden student beside an empty cauldron who didn't dare raising his eyes at anyone in the classroom and he suddenly understood not only the hurt and the humiliation of this but the disappointment and the desperation too, the lost effort – not to mention that Harry would have had to make double effort in other classes too so that he could make amends for the at least twenty points he so unfairly lost during most likely all his potions lessons. _

_And he also started to see why his father had been so bad in potions – the boy surely had lost his interest in the subject rather soon because of his bullying and with a growl at his memory self from another timeline he realized that nothing else it had been than bullying. A teacher bullying a student, the worst thing that could happen, something that never should happen to begin with!_

_And yet, there was his memory self, approaching the front of his desk as calmly as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just handled a student as unfairly as possible, hurting a child with verbal abuse. He might not have laid a hand on the child, but he'd had his hand in destroying the child anyways  
><em>

**End of memory**

Leaving the memory after another few scenes that played out similar and just changing between potions and occlumency he took a deep breath and sat down, thinking.

So here he had the proof – Janos Amity _was_ Harry Potter! There was no mistake anymore that Harry Potter had gone back in time, whatever reason for, and that he had found him, Snape, as a small child. No 'maybe', no 'mistake' and no 'perhaps', no 'possibly' and no any other similar word – it was definite. Harry Potter had been the child that had gone back in time to take him, Severus Snape, to claim him as his.

He had taken him from his abusive father who had killed his mother and surely would have killed him too, had adopted him and had taken him away, but where he could have had his revenge and made his life a living hell – Harry Potter, who had been abused by him, Snape, he had given him a childhood that any other child only could wish for.

He hadn't had many toys. At first Janos hadn't had too much money to begin with, he knew that, and later, when money hadn't been a problem anymore, well, Janos had never spoiled him. But he'd had enough toys and books, and more importantly, he'd had his father's love and his time and his support, and that had been worth so much more than anything else.

And tomorrow the boy would become nine years old. After living for nearly eight years in this blasted household where he was abused and neglected, where he'd had nothing, not even enough food.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Privet Drive **– 04:09 am**  
><strong>

Cursing he appeared in a side road near Privet Drive.

He shouldn't have waited until today, the boy's birthday, he should have gone yesterday already to get Potter from the Dursleys. He should have gone two days ago already.

He had gone back to watching the memory that contained his father's childhood in full length and he had seen the small boy laying in his cupboard, trying to find a place on the already blood stained mattress that was slightly wet with fresh blood, a horrifying thought alone, but he also had seen the child running thin sticks that were his arms around his stomach that surely ached with hunger, one of those arms being broken even.

Of course he knew that Janos had survived the abuse, that he had visited Hogwarts and then had left his timeline in his fifth year, but neither did this make it any better, nor did the thought of the child leave him to begin with and he hadn't been able to really sleep last night – what was the reason as to why he now was hurrying along the still dark pavement in the early morning hours while anyone else surely was asleep still.

_"Do not risk this child's life, Lily." _His father had said one day, looking seriously at the girl._ "This child has to live, never mind what, this child has to be protected, and this child has to be loved by you, because he might not have much love in later years. Do not risk your son's life, child, because I do not wish to die without a reason."_

How blind he had been!

Of course – _if_ there had been a time-travel, then of course it only could have been this child, Harry Potter, because Janos had to die so that Harry could be born, because they couldn't live in the same timeline. He had been so very blind. He'd had it all in front of his eyes, but he had not seen it.

Even the moment when he had seen the picture of his father in younger years, at the beginning of all this, when he'd been fifteen only, the picture he had kept on the desk in his father's rooms at Hogwarts – he should have realized how much alike James Potter the teen looked. As a child he had not seen it, but as an adult he should have seen it – and how much alike Lily Janos looked.

Well, he remembered an older Janos Amity, a man that had been about mid-thirty and so he had blamed the familiarity of the younger Janos Amity to the fact that, maybe he might have remembered him unconsciously.

And concerning Lily's picture in his father's rooms – of course the man had known Lily in his old timeline, even if Lily had died a year after his father had been born – because she was his mother! It simply had been the picture of his mother Janos Amity had kept on his desk!

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Number four, Privet Drive – 04:17 am**

A bolt of lightning struck down from heaven, illuminating everything for a short moment, illuminating a black cloaked figure reaching number four Privet Drive and waving his hand, causing the front door of the Dursleys' house to click open before he entered without even knocking or giving away any other means of greeting or acknowledging his arrival and presence.

A moment later there was thunder rolling through the air, but Severus Snape didn't care.

The time where he had been scared of a thunderstorm had been long gone after his father had taken him to the back yard of Hogwarts during one particular thunderstorm, had explained him how Thor, the God of thunder only wielded his hammer that hit the ambos. Of course he now knew that it only was a legend, a myth, but back then he had enjoyed the time with his dad and the story the man had told him – and he had believed it.

For a long time actually.

He'd been about fourteen when he clearly, consciously hadn't believed it anymore, that at least was the age he remembered that he didn't believe in the myth anymore, because they'd been at Amity Manor during their Christmas holidays and there had been a storm as well, a very violent storm that had raged on for hours and hours during the night.

**Memory from Severus Snape  
><strong>

_He was sitting in the large parlour, waiting for his father to come back with the two cups of hot chocolate. How his father loved hot chocolate so very much was a riddle to him, but he of course didn't complain, because he loved it himself and if his dad loved it too, then it only made sure that he would get it often. _

_His dad surely would tell him of how Slytherin he acted again right now if he knew his thoughts, and he grinned to himself._

_"Something I should know about, Severus?" The man asked, entering the room with two cups of the hot drink and a book under his arm. _

_"Nope, dad." He said, his smile widening. "Just a silly thought."_

_"You better take a blanket instead of thinking silly thoughts, brat." Huffing the man came over to the table. "It will get cold tonight and surely you are too thin still. You'll freeze too soon."_

_Well, it was a real storm outside._

_And well, his dad always called him being "too thin still" and he hated it, but he knew that he wouldn't be able changing it anyway._

_Even the rain was pounding on the windows that were already rattling because of the storm and every now and then there was lightning and thunder cutting through the dark and still night. _

_Taking a blanket from the backrest he huddled beneath the covers, looking outside while the man handed one of the cups to him._

_"I've listened to the wireless and it seems as if the storm will go on all night."_

_"Is it a normal storm?" He couldn't help asking. _

_"Considering how violently Thor is wielding his hammer, he either is very angry or he has a lot of work to do." His dad answered. _

_"Dad!" He then whined. "I'm ways too old for those stories, I know that Thor and his hammer is a myth only. I just meant – it's a bit of a violent storm for being a normal storm."_

_"Actually, I think there might be two or three magical people being a little bored and adding to the storm a bit." His dad said and he looked up at the man, trying to make out if his father made a joke or not._

_"How do you know this?" He then asked, his dark eyes narrowed at the green eyed man. _

_"I can feel the magic outside." His dad simply answered while shrugging his shoulders and he immediately believed it. He knew what his father was capable of when it came to magic, knew that he could even feel the magic in other people. "Very faintly, but it's there, so don't worry, they won't let anyone get hurt, they're just bored, that's all."_

__Severus settled back into the sofa and Janos sat next to the boy before opening the book and starting to read. _The storm roared on outside but he didn't care. He had heard the story before, but he wouldn't mind hearing it again and again, even if he was fourteen years old by now._

**End of memory**

By the end of the day he had memories of the future, memories of _his_ past that was Harry Potter's future, Harry Potter, who would become Janos Amity, Harry Potter, who would become his father. By the end of the day – he had found what he had been searching for since years, had found what he should have found years ago, had found the child that had been abused so badly by his relatives, the child he himself had tortured in the future.

By the end of the day, his future had caught up with his past.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_A question of survival and a matter of trust while a new stage of life might start._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

235 Points - Slytherin

185 Points - Ravenclaw

172 Points - Gryffindor

140 Points - Hufflepuff


	11. die with honour

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

Mai, 05th 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Added Note: **

I have changed the last chapter, chapter ten … I have added a few things while I have shortened it a bit or it would have become too long. The part I cut off at the end I put at the start of the new chapter before writing this one … so, you should read both chapters this time, chapter ten and eleven or you could miss some things … thanks for your understanding … :D …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_"Actually, I think there might be two or three magical people being a little bored and adding to the storm a bit." His dad said and he looked up at the man, trying to make out if his father made a joke or not._

_"How do you know this?" He then asked, his dark eyes narrowed at the green eyed man. _

_"I can feel the magic outside." His dad simply answered while shrugging his shoulders and he immediately believed it. He knew what his father was capable of when it came to magic, knew that he could even feel the magic in other people. "Very faintly, but it's there, so don't worry, they won't let anyone get hurt, they're just bored, that's all."_

_Severus settled back into the sofa and Janos sat next to the boy before opening the book and starting to read. The storm roared on outside but he didn't care. He had heard the story before, but he wouldn't mind hearing it again and again, even if he was fourteen years old by now._

_**End of memory**_

_By the end of the day he had memories of the future, memories of his past that was Harry Potter's future, Harry Potter, who would become Janos Amity, Harry Potter, who would become his father. By the end of the day – he had found what he had been searching for since years, had found what he should have found years ago, had found the child that had been abused so badly by his relatives, the child he himself had tortured in the future._

_By the end of the day, his future had caught up with his past._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter eleven **

**Die with honour**

**July, 31st 1989 – Number four, Privet Drive – 04:21 am**

The house was still – the inhabitants sleeping.

Roaming the Dursleys' living room Severus Snape found pictures of Dudley Dursley, some even where he was together with this other boy they had introduced to him as Harry Potter – but he now knew that it wasn't Harry Potter. Because Harry Potter was hidden away somewhere in the house, in one of the cupboards and he only had to find him.

And so he started his search, opening cupboard for cupboard while outside in the dark and silent street lightning was flashing, illuminating the outline of Privet Drive, illuminating a part of Little Whinging where neighbours didn't notice when a child was abused until bones broke, until blood was drawn, where neighbours didn't hear a small child's screams of pain and fear.

Neighbours that closed their eyes, that closed their ears to a suffering child.

He should have done this back then when he'd been here for the first time, over a year ago. He shouldn't have believed them for this boy being Harry Potter and he should have searched the cupboards in the house back then already! He had known that Janos had lived in a cupboard after all and he should have searched them, he should have done more than giving up after seeing a child that was introduced to him as Harry Potter.

Merlin!

Janos had been there to rescue him when he was three years old only, and Janos was getting nine now and no one had come to do him the same favour and to rescue him.

Thunder rolling through the streets of the suburban, growling in the darkness of the streets and echoing through the silence of the house, accompanied by a soft sob, made him turning towards the cupboard under the stairs and slowly he opened the door, knowing that if there was a child in there, then surely he only would startle him if he yanked open the door the way he would like to right now.

Behind the door was a small and dark – place, because surely it couldn't be called a room, a small and dark space that reeked of blood, dirt and sharp cleaning agents, a small and dark space that reminded him of Voldemort's dungeons where they once had found people the madman had tortured for fun and entertainment.

Another soft sob was heard in the darkness and for a moment he couldn't breathe, for a moment he didn't dare moving.

Could it really be that there was a child in there? A living child? Could it be that the Dursleys _really_ kept a living child in this – in this cramped and smelling cupboard? Together with poisonous things like cleaning agents and only Merlin knew what else? And for eight years no less? If yes, then it surely was a little miracle that the child was alive still and he tried to _not_ think of all the times Harry must have been reduced to tears in this – _'room'_.

Harry, the one child that once had smeared snot all over his robes whenever he'd held him at Lily's.

**Memory from Janos Amity**

_"You need a room, child." Janos said when he had brought him to the rooms Albus had given them and it was a strange sensation, watching the teen handling a smaller Severus Snape, a Severus Snape that was a tiny little thing. "I can hardly keep you in a cupboard, though there are some people who would. Here you go, child, like it? Merlin, what do I call you? I can't call you Snape and calling you child all the time won't do either but I hardly can call you Severus! You've been my teacher for Merlin's sake and it would be so very, very … inappropriate and … well, disrespectful, I'd be in so very, very much trouble if he ever learned of this here! What a mess! But well, I guess I'll call you just Severus and hope that he never ever will find out of this in later years, because he'd kill me, he'd skin me limb by limb and use me as potions ingredients. Know what this is?"_

_Well, it actually was fun, watching his father talking to the small child he had put on the bed and was now changing into a pair of green pyjamas with pink rabbits hopping around – a fact that caused him to grimace – while the small child looked at him with large eyes, nodding his head or shaking his head while he watched the strange boy curiously and clearly not understanding what Janos Amity was mumbling about while at the same time his tiny hands tried to catch the pink rabbits that were hopping over the green pyjama._

_"Oh, you will learn of it. Merlin! I'll have to teach you! Because it's been Snape's passion and if I mess up with this, then that really won't be acceptable and he even would kill me again if I messed around with you now. Imagine, me showing you – history, or charms, or Merlin forbid divination! Merlin, he'd really kill me then! But I of all people have to show you potions, do you know that I've been crap at Potions? Your adult self would wring his hands if he knew! He'd kill me before I even could try to explain to you what potions are, because he'd fear I'd mess up with this! He'd get gray hair! Imagine, Severus Snape, the dark and scary Potions Master with gray hair!"_

_Of course he knew that the teen was babbling to the child because he was so very nervous and he even could understand, because when did one have his teacher as a small child in his responsibility? He was sure that he'd be just as nervous._

_But how well had the child done with his task! Despite his nervousness! He'd done a small miracle! Because he'd become the best father any child could wish for._

**End of memory**

But _this_ child here, this child didn't have a room, this child just had a cupboard, a small cupboard he had to share with cleaning agents and other poisonous stuff that filled the already tiny space to the brim, that made the small space smelly and clearly dangerous.

"Harry?" He softly asked, but the only thing he got as an answer was another small whimper that came from the darkness of the cupboard.

Harry.

He could see a small child running through the parlour at Lily's, laughing and lifting his small arms up at him, clearly demanding to being picked up by him, always by him when he visited, never by Lily or anyone else, only by him if he was there with them.

And this child had become Janos Amity who had picked up _him_, years later, who had picked him up and who had brought him away. He'd been scared back them, but later? He'd rather soon started liking the boy that had picked him up and taken him away, had rather soon started loving the boy that had become his dad, a boy only, a child only, but so very capable of fulfilling the role of an adult.

**Memory from Severus Snape**

_He hadn't been able to keep from screaming when his mother had fallen to the floor, bleeding and the only thing he could feel was horror, a desperate feeling of loss and – and a fear beyond anything he could be able forming in words ever. And then there had been his father, the blood stained bottle in his hand, red drops dripping to the floor and reeking of whiskey, coming closer and closer and he tried to hide away in the corner of the room, knowing that his father had already seen him, because he had heard him screaming, because he was looking directly at him and for a moment he even felt a strange sense of acceptance. _

_He would be like his mother then, and his mother surely must be in heaven now, and he would go there too, would be with his mother then. The only thing left to wonder was – would it hurt? Would it be over soon? Or would he suffer like always when his father beat him?_

_But then there was a blast and a moment later his father was gone, was not advancing on him anymore but laying on the opposite wall and he didn't understand what had happened._

_Instead there was a boy coming close, a boy he didn't know, a boy he never before had seen and he was scared of him, because the boy was bigger than was he and he looked so strange, pale and bony and dirty and his clothes were all torn and there even was blood on the boy's clothes._

**End of memory**

Kneeling down he tried to get close without startling the child to begin with, not knowing how – Merlin! This was a nine year old child, a child that had his ninth birthday today, but a child that looked so very small, like a three or four year old child only, so small and fragile, and weak and he was so very bloody and hurt and scared, so very pale and – he didn't even know where to begin to describe the situation!

Only now realizing that the child, the boy that would become his father, that Janos Amity indeed had been starved, had been starved not only with food kept from him for a day or two, had been starved not only with much too little food being given to begin with, like he had thought for years, but that he most likely had been starved for days and days on end, for weeks, repeatedly, regularly, only then being granted food when it was necessary to keep him alive and suddenly he understood another memory he had seen, suddenly there again was a piece of the picture that clearly had been there, but that had not been glued to the complete picture itself.

Until now.

**Memory of Janos Amity**

_"Janos?" Abraxas asked, his voice sounding startled and he turned towards the sound, immediately recognizing his father and his best friend, Janos Amity and Abraxas Malfoy, the younger one of them going pale when his green eyes fell onto the dried and clearly stale piece of bread the older of the two men was holding in his hand. "What's the meaning of this, Janos?" _

_But there was no answer, his dad only standing there, his stance clearly indicating that he was prepared for anything, prepared for fleeing as well as prepared for fighting, not with a wand, that much was clear, but physically fighting. Frowning he looked around the kitchen and he easily found the open cupboard, and he too gasped for a moment, taking a step closer into the scene. _

_"Why would you keep tons of stale bread in your cupboard, Janos?" Abraxas' voice made him looking at the man for a moment before he looked back at the cupboard that indeed was filled to the brim with stale pieces of bread, some in slices, some chunks and some heels, but all of them clearly dried hard, two cupboards full of – _

_"That's none of your business, Abraxas, put that back!" Janos answered and he looked at his father, frowning, not remembering the man ever having hoarded old and stale, dried pieces of bread – and not remembering having heard the man sounding so commanding with Abraxas of all people. The young man's voice sounded rough, raspy, but it was a clear command he had given._

_"You cannot keep old and stale bread in your cupboards, Janos, you'll only attract bugs, mice and other vermin!" Abraxas said, his eyes narrowed at his young friend. "You can order food whenever you wish from the kitchens, there's no need to …"_

_"Isn't there now?" Janos asked, his voice still more aggressive than he ever had heard the man speaking towards Abraxas of all people, sarcasm dripping from his voice, ready to attack before he was hurt. "Are you so very sure about that? They also said the Titanic was unsinkable! And now just put that back, Malfoy, now!"_

_"Janos, you have to throw this away." Abraxas said, still sounding calm and patient. "If you're hungry, then you can get fresh food from the kitchens, there's always food and you wouldn't have Severus eating this stale bread anyway!"_

_"Are you so very sure that there always will be food, Abraxas?" The young man asked, clearly wanting to argue, reason with his older friend but his voice sounded more unsure than anything else. "I am not! Can you to one hundred percent guarantee me that there always will be food? I cannot guarantee this, Abraxas, and I know how long this supply here will last, it will keep Severus and me alive for weeks if the necessary arises and that is all I care about, so put it back, and I won't discuss over this, not ever."_

**End memory**

Abraxas had put the stale piece of bread back into the cupboard, silently, without discussing further about this, but in later years he never had found a piece of stale bread in one of the kitchen cupboards of Amity Manor and so he guessed that slowly Abraxas had worked Janos to the point where the need of hoarding food had – not vanished, because there always had been more food stacked in the cellars than there would have been necessary for two persons – but diminished.

And looking at this skeletal form in front of him, the child looking only half his age if even that, too large and sunken eyes in a too pale and thin face, he suddenly understood.

"Harry?" He tried again, but again, the only answer he got was another small whimper that clearly was caused by fear and after his eyes had adjusted to the dim light he could make out a small and shaking mix of sticks and a thin body that tried to get deeper into the shadowy corner of the cupboard, tried to get away from him, pressing itself as deep into the dim corner as possible.

"Hush, child." He said, getting himself back under control and realizing that questions wouldn't get him anywhere, realizing that he would have to take the lead here. "I won't hurt you, I promise. You're Harry, aren't you?"

**Memory from Severus Snape**

_"Hush, child." The strange boy said, slowly reaching out one hand and he tried to go deeper into the corner even, tried to hide away. "I won't harm you. You're Severus, aren't you?" The boy then asked and he didn't know if he should say yes, because his mother always had told him to be careful with strangers and this boy was a stranger. And he was covered in dirt and blood! _

_But he sounded kind. _

_A moment later the boy reached out and took hold of him, pulled him out of his corner and he tried to struggle away from the skinny boy and the large but thin fingers that had taken his upper arms. Another moment later he could feel a bony chest against his face, could hear a heart beating beneath his ear and he could smell dirt and sweat and blood, but no alcohol._

_It felt like when his mother had held him. _

_This boy holding him felt like when his mother had held him, it felt good and it felt safe – and slowly he started to relax, started to reach out himself to wrap his arms around the boy's neck and then the boy got up and turned, walked away with him without looking back and all the while he had his arms around the boy's neck, placed his head onto the boy's shoulder tiredly, somehow knowing that he was safe now, that his father wouldn't hurt him anymore. _

**End of memory**

He was so very scared of accidentally hurting this child even more, but he knew that he had to take the child, and if this boy had been able to reach out and to take him from there, then he would be able doing the same and to reach out and take this child from this place here.

And slowly he did, reaching out and – ignoring the startled and scared scream the child gave away, trying to get even further away from him, ignoring the too large and panicked green eyes, he simply took hold of the thin sticks that were the boy's arms and pulled him close, and like Janos had done back then, he just wrapped his arms around the small and weakly struggling form, one hand placed on the child's back to keep him in place and one hand placed on the child's head, holding the child's head close to his chest while he hoped that his heartbeat together with the low rumbling of his voice in his chest might calm the child, like it had calmed him back then when his dad had held him.

And Severus Snape, potions Master of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry, got up with the small and fragile trembling mess still in his arms and again, just like years ago, a wizard left a muggle house without turning back, carrying a hurt and a scared wizarding child away from a place where only pain and fear resided.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Number four, Privet Drive – 05:27 am**

He knew that apparating would be out of question for the small and weak child in his arms, as would be a portkey and so the safest means of transportation would be the floo – and so he turned left instead of right where the next apparition point near the Dursleys' house would be, towards Arabella's house, not even caring of anyone who were on their way to work so early in the morning.

The door already opened upon him walking up the garden path and an old and wrinkled face appeared, grey eyes watching them before the door opened fully to let him in and then quickly closing behind him. How Arabella had known that he came, he didn't know and right now he didn't care about it either.

"Finally there's someone coming, Severus." The woman said, sounding unsure. "I've already contacted Minerva and …"

"Neither do I care about whom you have contacted, woman, because this here is no one time doing, but the doing over months and years and you should have acted long ago and taken the child out of there," he growled while walking along the corridor towards the kitchen where he knew was a fireplace, "nor do I even have the time for your inane babbling and meaningless apologies to begin with. I only need your floo, that is all."

A moment later he had drawn his cloak over the child in his arms completely, had adjusted his left so that his arm supported the child's thin and fragile back and his hand the small head to his chest while he with his right grabbed some floo powder from the mantle and threw it into the fireplace, not even minding to ask for permission from the landlady.

He didn't have the time for long discussions with the woman about responsibility either right now, but he would be back. He knew that he couldn't do much, but he would be back anyway. It was quite evident that right now he was the only adult left in Harry's life who could be trusted to do right by the boy, and so it was necessary that he keep himself largely out of trouble, if only for the sake of the child. But he would be back later.

"Amity Manor, potions laboratory, wormwood and holly." He said, naming his destiny and the password to the manor, stepping into the flames that became green and pressing the child's head to his chest so that his face was hidden away in the folds of his cloak, protected from the sooth.

A moment later he was through the fireplace and stepped into the large underground laboratory at Amity Manor.

**Flashback**

_"Why is your lab down here, sir?" He asked, looking up at the older boy. He'd been down here with the boy for three or four times now and he always had wondered but he hadn't dared asking. He wasn't sure if his question was welcomed now, but he never would know if he never asked, and he never knew if he was allowed asking questions if he never tried. _

_If only the boy wouldn't be so strange sometimes, looking so far away and thoughtful, and so sad sometimes, so as if he didn't know what to do or where to go somehow, he couldn't really name it. But the boy never had hit him and he was with him since a few weeks now, and he always got enough to eat, as much to eat as he wanted actually, and he got new clothes too, clothes that fit and were new and nice and felt nice too. _

_"It's not mine, Severus, it's the school lab, and I'm not sure why it's underground." The boy said. "But I guess that it's because it's cooler down here, and that's to be good for all the potions ingredients, and maybe it's because of the dungeons being the safest place for a potions lab too, because if there's an accident, a cauldron exploding, then the solid dungeons walls will protect the remainder of the castle."_

**End flashback**

He knew that his father, that Janos, the young boy, had been scared of teaching him potions at first, had been scared of making a mistake and then pulling the wrath of Severus Snape, the other Severus Snape, the one he knew from his timeline, over his head. Why Janos had thought that maybe this Severus Snape from there could come to this timeline here, he didn't know, but somehow maybe all the connections and what they meant weren't entirely clear to him back then – and how should they even? Janos had been a child himself, a child that had lost everyone and everything, that had even lost his life, his time and his place to enter a past thirty years away just to adopt a child before he even was of age himself.

And yet, the man had done such an excellent job, he thought while crossing his potions lab of Amity Manor.

The small form in his arms had struggled at first, weakly trying to get away from him, to get away from his grasp, from his large hands holding his small body, but soon the child had given up, had yielded to his strong hold, had yielded to – maybe the feeling of being held, being safe, maybe to the feeling of his calm heartbeat the boy surely must hear while he held the child's head against his chest, and even if he could feel the boy being anything than relaxed, the small and still trembling form at least didn't fight him anymore.

Sitting the child atop one of the workbenches that lined the walls he kept his hands on the boy's shoulder for a moment, unsure if the child were able sitting all by himself, before he slowly pulled his hands back.

"Stay sitting here, child." He said, his eyes narrowed at the boy that looked up at him with large eyes, not only scared but startled, most likely startled at being called 'child' instead of 'freak' or 'boy'. "I won't harm you, Harry. I will get a few potions for you to take and then you'll feel better, alright?"

There was no nod, but there wasn't a headshake either and so he turned after another moment, went to the shelves his dad had lined beneath the high ceiling, out of reach for any small child, even if said child would stand atop the work benches beneath and he grabbed a pain reliever, a calming draught, healing potions and a few jars with a cleaning cream, a burning salve and a bruising balm.

Turning back to the child he placed the vials and jars beside the boy on the worktable, taking the pain reliever and reaching it at Harry.

"I know, Harry." He said, so that the boy knew that he knew already. "I know what happened, I know that you have been abused, and I know that you have been starved, that you have been denied of anything any child needs. Drink this potion, please, Harry, it will take away any pain you might feel."

Well, he had feared that the boy would be gone the moment he turned back to him, but he hadn't been, he had been sitting exactly where he had left him – he had feared that the child would not listen to him, but the child did, even seemed glued at his ever word, but if he had thought that the child would now willingly take the vial – then he was wrong, because there was not even the _smallest_ sign of the boy lifting his hand.

"Harry?" He asked, his head lowered to one side a bit.

"Mustn't takin' no thing from no one." The boy said and he sighed.

"Well, I expect you to take this potion." He said, frowning. "I want you to take this and I won't punish you for doing so. Now!" He clearly ordered when it was clear that the child would not take the potion. He didn't feel too well doing this, he didn't like giving an order to this already scared child that was in pain already, that was already so hounded and weak, surely his only wish being left alone as surely he has gotten used to the pain by now, knowing that it just was that way, but he knew that sometimes children needed a clear order.

'_July 21st, 1964_

_Severus has gotten ill and honestly, I now understand why Minerva always said that ill children are the worst. Sometimes I'm really at the end of my rope. He's got a fever, but he won't take the potion that would bring it down. He should eat his soup, but the only thing he wants doing is sleeping, he won't even drink enough! I know that sleep is important, and while he sleeps he regain some strength, but he should at least drink more than he does and he should take the potions Poppy brought over. _

_Well, I've ordered him to take them today, because he really should, but I don't feel good with this. I can't help thinking of the Dursleys who forced me to take stuff sometimes when I've been ill, or at Snape, the teacher Snape, who leaned his hands at the desk, coming close, and then gave his orders, sometimes he scared the hell out of me!_

_But if I've learned something from these past days since he's so ill, then it is, that sometimes I will have to give him an order or I can't raise him properly, never mind how much I love him and never mind anything else, I'll have to give him an order sometimes, even if I don't like it.'_

Well, and now he was in the very same position – with the only exception that back then, he had already trusted Janos, his dad, whereas this child neither knew him nor trusted him.

But it worked, the order worked and even if clearly scared, the child lifted his hand, weakly, to take the vial that held the potion – but wasn't able to really grasp it, what little muscles were there being too weak, and the child's arm fell down back atop the small thigh while green eyes that were scared for a moment became even panicky before they got dull – and accepting – again.

"Never mind that, child." He softly said, calmly, this accepting tearing more at his heart than anything else he so far had seen. "Just open up, we'll deal with that. You know, I could have brought you to your room, but one better does not summon potions randomly, because some of them are not to be summoned, and some of them are not fetched by a house elf either. They would be destroyed then, and that is the reason why I have brought you here, to my potions lab, where I can get those potions you will be in need of. But later, I will show you to your room and there you can lay down and sleep."

For a moment he could see something flicker to life in the boy's otherwise dull and dead eyes and he knew that he could get the child there, at his tiredness.

"Just open up and take this potion, it will help with the pain and as soon as we're done here, I'll bring you to your room." He therefore said, again positioning the vial at the child's lips and slowly, carefully dipping the small glass container. "There you will be able sleeping in a comfortable bed, and as long as you wish too, because sleep will be very important for your health, your body can rest and gather some strength while you sleep. That was very well done, Harry." He then added when the boy finally had swallowed the potion, shuddering at the taste but not complaining. "That was very well done, child, the pain soon will be gone and the next potion I give you is a calming potion, it will ease your fears and soothe your nerves, it won't harm you."

Reaching to his side he took the next vial, but before he could hold the glass at the child's lips, small hands went to a sunken stomach to grasp at the dirty and pitted T-shirt there, and a small and dangerously thin form bent forwards, the weak breathing now too fast and struggling, while small whimpers escaped pale lips. A moment later the boy threw up the potion before heaving and retching drily, a clear sign that surely the child had had nothing to eat or drink for a long time, for a much _too_ long time, he thought, worriedly, anxiously.

"Zilly." He softly called out while he kept one hand at the child's forehead to support a head that surely must be too heavy for the thin and weak neck, and the other hand at the skeletal back, feeling each backbone and rib beneath his hand, the child's back being small enough so that his hand covered all of it. This was not the back of a nine year old child but that of a four or five year old at the most. Scorpius, who was five years old now wasn't as small and as delicate as was this child – and surely not so deathly pale, nor had been Draco when he was four or five years old.

The small body beneath his hand started cramping with the dry heaves, his trembling and shivering becoming uncontrolled spasms with each cramp, with each heave, but nothing came up anymore and the only thing he could do was standing there, supporting the child's body and rubbing the cramped back while the small form gasped for breath.

"Get me a stomach easing draught, please, from the shelf over there, Zilly." He softly said, not stopping the movements of his hand, trying to loosen a cramped back.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Number four, Privet Drive – 09:14 am**

He had helped the child laying on his side when the boy had drawn up his knees, had slowly and with trembling arms lowered himself on his side, not caring or not realizing that it was a worktable he was laying at and he, Severus, he didn't care either. He just was worried and he definitely wasn't sure if the terrified green eyes watched him so full of panic because the boy had thrown up and created a mess, what would explain his trying to apologize over and over again, or if it was because he, Severus, had cleaned the mess away with a quick wave of his wrist, having done magic in front of the child that clearly had been punished for being a wizarding child, for doing accidental magic like any wizarding child did. He wasn't exactly sure which.

He had changed the boy's clothes already twice, had changed him into a pyjama after he had thrown up the first time, placing a soft blanket beneath the small form while he was to move him anyway, and the old clothes Zilly had thrown away upon his command. It was clear that the boy had thrown up earlier, and more than once, while he wasn't sure if it were only days or even weeks since he might have gotten clean clothes to change into.

Undressing the child he had gritted his teeth to prevent himself from gasping when he had revealed bruises in all shapes and colours possible, some healing, some new, scars, some of them old, and some of them new, bleeding welts and infected cuts, burns and abrasions.

And there he should have known, he had seen his father's body and he had seen all the scars, he had seen the medical reports, he should have known what would await him, and yet – seeing all those injuries on a small child's body, some of them still bleeding, while said child accepted them being revealed so easily as if he never had known anything else, it had been more than he had been ready for and his fingers had trembled when he had lifted the t-shirt over the boy's head.

After that he had given Harry the stomach soothing draught, but it had been of no use, and as soon as the potion was in the child's stomach he already had retched and again he had thrown up this potion too, accompanied by painful cramps and spasms, black hair damp with perspiration while weak eyes dropped shut every moment of peace between the dry heaves that wouldn't bring up more.

He had cleaned the small and deathly pale face again, had changed the child into a new pair of pyjamas again, had exchanged the soiled blanket beneath the child for a clean one, all the while speaking soft and meaningless words to the child, trying to give as much comfort as possible, and – maybe it just was his imagination or it was the infantile and instinctive need for comfort – but the child even seemed to lean into his touch. He jerked back upon every first touch, but if he stayed his hand on the child's face, on the small body, he seemed to nearly cry with the comfort that must be so very foreign to him.

"Just keep your eyes closed and try to sleep." He whispered while he run his thumb over the small face, his palm cupping the child's cheek, the small face laying on his palm, weakly, and again, so accepting, taking whatever came his way, knowing that he, small and weak as he was, wouldn't be able to change it anyway and it hurt, this knowledge, that a child already had made such experiences, and only Merlin knew how often he had made them or how deep they went.

"Just sleep, and your stomach will handle the potions better while you're sleeping." He said as it was clear that – the child couldn't keep anything in his stomach without throwing up immediately, a fact that worried him to no end, because even if he had been starved over the years, he wouldn't throw up so quickly, wouldn't throw up so very violently like he did, There had to be more to that. "Just sleep, child, I will be here, and I will watch over you, I won't leave you alone, you will be safe here.

"Won't be nowhere safe." The child murmured, tiredly, weakly, but in a way – it was clear that the boy just _had_ to tell him this, maybe to make sure that he really watched over him, maybe to tell him it was unnecessary because he wouldn't be safe anyway, maybe to show him that he didn't trust him, he didn't know, but he noticed that whenever the child said something – as little as this was, he used a double negative, as if he wanted to make sure.

"You _are_ safe here, because no one can enter this manor." He said, still running his thumb over the so startling pale forehead. "No one can come even near this manor without my knowledge and without my permission either and I surely won't allow your aunt and uncle to come near this place here. You are perfectly safe here, Harry."

A few minutes later the child was sleeping and the potions Master fixed his eyes on the small sleeping figure lying on the large working table in his potions lab, with a white blanket between the hard surface of the worktable and his small and delicate form – and for a moment it was the only thing that kept him grounded as waves of despair washed over him.

Carefully he poured another stomach soothing potion into the child's mouth, massaging the child's abdomen to further soothe the damaged stomach while he waited until the potion took hold, thinking.

It was his fault that this child had been forced to grow up alone and at the mercy of his wicked uncle, in pain, in fear, being abused, beaten, neglected, starved and shut away in a cupboard. It was his fault, because he could have guessed, he _should_ have guessed, he should have looked closer last time, he should have searched the house, he should have argued with Dumbledore. And so it only seemed fitting that he be the one to help put this child back together. And Merlin – he had a lifetime to make up.

A lifetime full of pain and fear and deprivation.

But no more.

Whatever had happened in Janos' life, whatever had happened in this child's live, and whatever was going to happen now, this time, he wasn't going to be alone, this time, he would be there.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

The pain reliever had been next after the stomach soothing potion finally had stayed down without the child throwing up again, something he'd been very glad for, and then had come a calming draught and a general healing potion, and between each potion he had waited a few minutes, massaging a child's stomach and lower back and placing a warm water bottle at the small abdomen, trying to have the child as relaxed as possible while he had gone through the diagnostic spells he had cast earlier.

And as soon as he had read the parchment, it had been back completely, his worries and anxiousness.

The child's so very startling weakness, his troubles in breathing and his trembling, his abdominal pains and his dizziness, it wasn't from starvation alone. Of course a large part of it was because of the starvation, but not only. He also had noticed abdominal infection, asthma, a general low immunity and even liver damage – all signs that indicated to a poisoning, to mildew poisoning, and considering everything he had learned so far, it could be possible, the Dursleys feeding the child mildewed bread.

And that poisoning led to death in 4 of 5 cases – if the person suffered of low immunity what Harry clearly did because of his weakness and long term starvation.

"Of curse you couldn't have slept for longer than a few minutes." He murmured to the – meanwhile again – sitting child.

The boy seemed calmer than he'd been before, seemed to be in less pain and he seemed to be – content with what he had, as little as that was.

"Well, let's see what's beneath this t-shirt of yours, Harry." He then said, loud enough for the child to hear this time before he reached out to taking the boy's arm, gently, and pulling it out of the sleeve. The child allowed it and he wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not, wasn't sure if it was because of the calming draught or of simple disinterest.

The green eyes were dull still, less haunted than they had been before, due to the calming potion, but still empty, listless, dull – dead – and he didn't even wince when he started cleaning out the cuts and then covered them with the healing salve even though he knew that despite the calming draught the child surely still was scared and that despite the pain reliever the child surely still was in some level of pain, uncomfortable at least.

He simply didn't seem to care, clearly being used to pain, clearly accepting whatever fate threw at him, and even if later in the evening an exhausted child was laying at the working table in his potions laboratory again, at his side and curled into a tight protective ball, trembling with the pain and exhaustion and fear, there were still those dull green eyes staring blankly ahead and he knew – it was only a few steps down the road that led to death.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Well, it wasn't the end of the day, it was late afternoon still, but he knew, if by the end of the day this child died, then at least he had died with honour, then he had died with more honour than any adult he had seen dying during the years. But he would do anything in his power to keep the child alive. He had gotten him into this life nine years ago at the Potter Estate and he would do anything necessary to keep him alive here now – but if he should die, then he had died with honour.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_A question of survival and a matter of trust while a new stage of life might start._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

340 Points - Slytherin

221 Points - Ravenclaw

215 Points - Gryffindor

156 Points - Hufflepuff


	12. never yield

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

June, 06th 2011

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Added Author's Note:**

In this chapter I have built in a memory seen through legillimense and for the lack of any other idea, as flashbacks are already written in italic, I have placed the sign '~' before each change of scenery _within_ this memory – I hope it is presented clearly enough … thanks …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_"Of curse you couldn't have slept for longer than a few minutes." He murmured to the – meanwhile again – sitting child. _

_The boy seemed calmer than he'd been before, seemed to be in less pain and he seemed to be – content with what he had, as little as that was._

_"Well, let's see what's beneath this t-shirt of yours, Harry." He then said, loud enough for the child to hear this time before he reached out to taking the boy's arm, gently, and pulling it out of the sleeve. The child allowed it and he wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not, wasn't sure if it was because of the calming draught or of simple disinterest. _

_The green eyes were dull still, less haunted than they had been before, due to the calming potion, but still empty, listless, dull – dead – and he didn't even wince when he started cleaning out the cuts and then covered them with the healing salve even though he knew that despite the calming draught the child surely still was scared and that despite the pain reliever the child surely still was in some level of pain, uncomfortable at the best._

_He simply didn't seem to care, clearly being used to pain, clearly accepting whatever fate threw at him, and even if later in the evening an exhausted child was laying at the working table in his potions laboratory again, at his side and curled into a tight protective ball, trembling with the pain and exhaustion and fear, there were still those dull green eyes staring blankly ahead and he knew – it was only a few steps down the road that led to death._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter twelve **

**Never yield**

**July, 31st 1989 – Amity Manor – 07:14 pm**

Running his hand over his face, tiredly, he slumped down into the chair beside the workstation in his potions laboratory, taking a deep breath before slowly releasing it while trying to sort out his emotions, while trying to calm his anger and desperation and the helplessness he felt since hours now.

Anger!

It was not anger!

Nooo!

It was _pure_ rage and fury that had washed over him each time he had cleaned out and covered another injury on the small child's body while said child had done nothing that _…_

It had _not_ been the child screaming with pain while he had cleaned out infected cuts and bleeding beating marks, abrasions and burns, because the child had not screamed bloody murder, and neither had it been the child fighting him tooth an nail while he had covered those injuries with the healing salve because the child hadn't fought him tooth and nails either. No – it had been the absolute silence with which the child had endured this new pain and he _knew_ that the boy had been in pain still, despite the pain reliever he had given him earlier as this potion only could do so much and he surely would not risk overdosing a small and thin child like Harry, what would border on poisoning him. No – it had been the stoically stillness with which the child had endured the treatment that had caused _him_ to grit his teeth while he had worked on the child, barely able to imagine what exactly might have caused some of those wounds, barely able to imagine the horrors those monsters had bestowed upon a small and helpless child.

And yet, those horrors were so obvious, it made him feeling ill while looking at the child's damaged body. A small child that had done nothing to deserve the hell he had been living in for eight years, a helpless and innocent child that had done nothing to deserve living through such horrors and more than once had he had to force himself to just go on with his treatment, knowing that he caused even more pain.

Of course he had known each injury, had seen all of them on his father's body over the years, all the scars, white and silver lines covering so much of his father's body that he soon had been aware of it when he had been a child himself and of course he had become angry back then already, but seeing those injuries now, some of them fresh and bleeding, seeing how bad this all had been, it nearly robbed him off his breath, it nearly made him speechless and he couldn't help the shaking of his fingers, cursing in his mind.

Albus had known!

Albus had known that Janos had been abused by his relatives and he was sure that Albus had known how bad it had been – and yet, that man had sent Harry to them when Lily had died. Albus had _…_

He would call Albus to account later, after he had made sure that Harry would survive, that Janos would survive.

Merlin, alone the thought that this child laying here on his worktable, alone the thought that this child would become his father, had been his father, he couldn't even name the correct term!

The child had curled in on himself at one point again when the pain had become too much for him to handle, had lowered himself back onto the worktable where he lay on his side, weakly breathing in small gasps, the small mass of bones and skin shaking and shivering and the trembling of his own fingers had increased as well while covering all the remaining injuries on the small back and shoulders with the healing salve.

He had breathed a sigh of relief when he had been finished finally and he had leaned his hands onto the worktable for a moment, allowing himself to close his eyes for a moment and to lower his head, trying to calm his overstrained nerves.

A few moments later the child had fallen asleep again, exhaustedly, and again he just had placed a blanket over the shivering form, not minding that the child again – or still – lay on his worktable, not ready yet to wake the child just to get him to a bed. He would do so later but for now he was glad that the child finally slept and he had him laying on the soft blanket anyway.

If only he could get something substantial into the child's system now, added to a lot of sleep and some different potions, including an antidote to the mildew poisoning, then the child would have a real chance of survival and not this – _'maybe'_ or _'hopefully'_. Of course he knew that – yes, Harry _had_ survived in Janos' timeline, but he, Severus, he had changed Harry's timeline now and so – it wasn't so certain anymore that he still would survive _now_. Anything could happen now, now that he had changed _this_ timeline.

And yet – nothing could be worse than what he had seen during the last few hours, absolutely nothing and again there were so many things he suddenly understood so much better, the memory he had seen in which his father had _ordered_ Abraxas to put back the deformed slices of dried bread, to put them back into the cupboard, it made so much more sense suddenly – and not only because of how thin and clearly having been starved for years the child was, but because of the memory he had seen when he had washed the child's throat.

**Flashback**

_Not only the child's clothes had been dirty, but the entire child was and it had taken him more than an hour so far to get the child's body clean so that he finally could cover all the injuries with the healing salve without them becoming any more infected than they already were – and to get the infection that already was there under control to begin with and inwardly he was seething in anger, wondering how anyone could keep a child like this, like an animal while at the same time he knew that – any animal would have kept more humanly, even by them, than they had kept this child that watched him while he moved slowly and carefully to get him cleaned, scared, and clearly not understanding._

_He had considered a bath of course, but the child was so fragile and weak and thin and damaged, he simply didn't know if the were a wise decision. It would be easier for him, Severus, to simply put the child into a bath instead of washing the child limb by limb with a washcloth and a bowl of warm water, but somehow he knew that he wouldn't make it easier for the child and he was not ready to risk anything yet. A panic attack and the child overstraining his already too weak system was the last thing they needed right now._

_Waving his hand he cleaned the water in the bowl – again – before reaching out to touch the small chin and to lift the small _– _and now clean – face so that he could wash the child's throat, and again he kept himself from sighing and forced himself to continue with his movement when the child reared back with a soft gasp. Gently he placed his fingers beneath the child's chin and lifted the small face, green eyes locking with his own and a moment later his world exploded in something he neither could name nor was able to handle for a moment because he was not used to such horrors._

_~ The same child he had sitting in front of him right now, wearing the same clothes, with nearly the same injures on the thin body, just a bit cleaner, was standing on a stool in front of the kitchen counter, peeling potatoes while Petunia Dursley added spicery to several steaks she had lain out on the draining board of the sink. _

_~ A family of three sitting on the kitchen table, eating a delicious meal of steaks, grilled corn and roasted potatoes while another child, a much smaller child than the one sitting at the table, was standing in a corner, watching them eating and waiting until he was called to serve them._

_~ "Wanna milk!" A boy demanded loudly, Dudley Dursley, and the small child came over to fill the obese boy's cup with the demanded milk, his movements measured the way he knew it from his father's movements, only that he now clearly could see the struggle, the child trying to move as carefully as possible to avoid unnecessary pain and weakness while at the same time as quickly as possible to avoid further punishment and the sight made him even more angry, had him nearly seething in his nearly overboiling rage._

_~ The small child cleaning the kitchen, standing in front of the sink, on a stool again, washing the dishes._

_~ The same child, standing in front of his aunt, Petunia Dursley, small hands nervously gripping the T-shirt in front of his stomach while green eyes were looking up at the woman, pleadingly. "'m hungry, aunt P'tunia." The child said, softly. "My belly hurts, can I please have …" There wasn't a chance for the child to finish his sentence and again Severus' world exploded when Vernon Dursley came into the scene, screaming at the child of how ungrateful he was, always demanding too much, always asking for food and a blanket or god forbid a mattress even while he shook the small child roughly, not caring about the weak and delicate limbs._

_~ "I'll teach you, you ungrateful and useless little whelp!" The man screamed at the boy while gripping him and shaking him roughly, while slapping the boy in the face. "I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget ever again in your useless and miserable life!" _

_~ A moment later the obese man had the small child undressed, had gripped him in a tight grip that lifted the small and already bruised form off the floor and started spanking – beating the child, because the man's fat hand coming down on the bare behind of the child with a force that only could be described as cruel and brutal, soon leaving more bruises, couldn't be called a spanking! It was a cruel and brutal beating, leaving the child screaming hysterically with the pain it caused and yet, the idiot man didn't stop but beat on and on, his breathing becoming heavier and heavier while doing so, panting and moaning loudly until he clearly had a sexual release and Severus was disgusted while his rage and fury flared to unknown levels, his wish to kill clearly overwhelming – while again he wondered why none of the neighbours came to look and investigate upon the deafening screams that surely were heard outside the house too._

_And yet, upon the scene changing again he knew that – this beating had been just a foreplay for Dursley, because what he now saw, he swore to himself that he would kill them, all of them, and never mind the outcome, but he would kill those monsters. _

_~ The small and skeletal child that only had asked for something to eat because his stomach hurt with hunger, was standing at the table, naked still, small enough so that just his head was overlooking the tabletop and he clearly could see that the child had a rope wound around his throat, fixed to the ceiling lamp and forcing the child to stand upright while his hands were fixed to the table legs, keeping him from reaching any of the food that was lain out on the table, delicious food like the steaks, the grilled corn and the roasted potatoes the family had just eaten for dinner as well as pudding, a cake and cookies, milk and other sweets the child surely never had tasted in his entire life. _

_~ "… better be silent you ungrateful and useless little whelp!" Dursley screamed while bringing a cane down on the child's bare and already bleeding back over and over again while the child still was fixed in front of the kitchen table, nearly choking on the rope around his throat and his entire stance screamed exhaustion, he didn't need to look into the child's face to know that it had been more than just a few hours the child was standing here, nor did he need to see the small puddle on the floor where the boy clearly had lost control over his bladder and he didn't even dare wondering if it had been because they hadn't allowed the child to the toilet for only Merlin knew how long or if it had happened because of the beating the child right now received. "If you think I'll let you go early because you soil our good kitchen floor you're so wrong, boy! I said two days you're to watch and two days you WILL watch, you evil and dirty little thing, and the only thing you gained yourself is further punishment, I swear you boy, you'll never ever again ask for anything! I'll have you …"_

_~ Again the family was sitting at the table, eating dinner, but this time the small child was not standing in the corner and waiting to serve them, but he was still tied to the table, forced to watch them eating all the delicious food while his stomach surely cramped with hunger. Considering the dull eyes however, he doubted that the child really saw the food anymore, and considering the strangled breathes he also knew that the child was only standing there because he was _– _ 'supported' _– _by the rope around his throat still, the question was, how long would it take be before the rope either broke the delicate neck or simply and slowly choked the child to death. _

**End flashback**

Upon coming out of those memories, not knowing if it had been the child pulling him into his mind or him intruding into the child's mind, he had trembled himself from head to toe – had trembled with the rage he had felt and if he hadn't had the child in front of him, so scared and startled and in pain himself, then he would have gone back to Privet Drive to immediately kill those monsters, to bestow upon the most painful death, for once wishing he were like the Severus Snape from his father's earlier timeline, the cruel and heartless Death Eater that had no qualms torturing people, that had the reputation of being devil himself, if he had understood his father's journals correctly.

But then his dark eyes had seen the green ones, looking up at him so very scared and frightened, and suddenly he had known that he couldn't do this, not now, not without having a plan and a backup in Lucius, that he couldn't risk imprisonment and releasing the child's chin, only then realizing that his grip on the child's chin had tightened with the emotional strain of watching this memory, he took a deep breath before pulling the child close.

Forget about those injuries for a moment and forget about the bruises for a moment, forget about healing the child's body for a moment, because he had known that this had been so much more important back then, pulling the child close and just holding him, sitting down into the armchair he had in his laboratory with the child in his arms and just holding the boy, not realizing that his magic reached out while doing so, that his magic swirled around them, green strands of magic mixing with blue strands, dancing around them for a moment before swirling in the laboratory, kept from potions vials by an invisible shield that Janos Amity had erected over the shelves long years ago before the strands of magic had finally vanished within the walls of Amity Manor itself.

He didn't know how long he had held the child, but after what had seemed like hours to him he had taken a deep breath and had told the child in his arms that he had to finish his healing finally. The boy only had nodded at him, and setting the small and skeletal child back onto the worktable he automatically had known that the memory he just had seen had been only a few days old, maybe even just a few hours old, he didn't know – and he also had known that, never mind how old this memory was, the child never again had asked for food, and he never ever again would do so, this child never ever again would ask for anything, and neither had Janos Amity.

Casting his eyes back at the sleeping child, Harry Potter, Janos Amity, he knew why his father never had asked for the house elves to bring him any food, why his father always had cooked their meals himself, not even …

Frowning he noticed that there was something that was not right, with the manor itself, with her wards.

Harry Potter.

Janos Amity.

Janos Amity sounded alright in his ears but getting to his feet and approaching the child he realized that – Harry Potter didn't sound correct and for a moment he wondered …

_"I have adopted you and I have taken you away from your biological father. But despite what you may think, Severus, I did take you into the family, as small as this family might be. There are more than one ways to take someone into the family, Severus, and I have done so not by giving you my name, but by adopting you by blood."_

What had this memory to do with the strange feeling that flooded him? How did this memory come to his mind right now? _Why_ did this memory come to his mind right now?

_"I cannot tell you the reason as to why I did not give you my name, Severus, and I am not sure if I ever will, but it has a reason. It is important that you remain Severus Snape. It will be very important for your future life. You are the last remaining Snape and it is important that this name does not die yet. Do not ask me to explain it closer to you right now as I won't give you an answer, but believe me, child, it had nothing to do with not accepting you as my son or in my family. Just know, that I do love you with all my heart, child, and I always will do so, never mind what – because you are mine, Severus! You are mine, and I never, absolutely never, will give up on you! I do love you, and I do care for you, even if you sometimes think I don't. But I do, because you are mine!"_

Frowning he reached out his hand to run over the child's pale forehead, the child still sleeping on his worktable in his potions laboratory, on a blanket he had placed beneath the child, beneath Harry Pot- … beneath the child … beneath Harry … beneath Harry Snape …

But how …

'_Today Severus asked me why I did not give him my name. I should have known that this question would come one day, but honestly, back then, when I did adopt Severus, I never thought that he might ask this question one day. And yet – it is so logically, it startles me that I didn't think about that. _

_But even if I would have thought about that, I simply couldn't have given him my name. _

_First for the reason I have given him today. The name Snape would die and that cannot happen. I'm not sure why, but I somehow know that the name Severus Snape will play an important role in the future, and honestly, there are so many things I do not know, I only can go by my gut feeling. Playing with the timeline, it is difficult enough and there are a lot of situations I have to consider carefully. And one of these situations had been back then when I decided to not name Severus with the surname Amity.'_

"Zilly." He softly called out and a moment later the small house elf appeared at his side with a soft 'pop', looking up at him with his large eyes and flapping ears, and with a "yes, Master Severus, sir?" on his lips.

"I need one of the Goblins from Gringotts, Zilly." He said. "Please inform them that Lord Snape is in dire need of a conversation in his manor."

"Yes, Master Snape, sir." Zilly immediately answered. "Shall Zilly see the Gringotts Goblin down to Master's laboratory then?"

"Yes, do so, please." He softly answered, his eyes narrowed at the child he had in front of him while at the same time his mind whirled and whirled.

'_I know that I won't be there for him always and even if I have already made sure that Severus will be provided with not only this manor but with any other possession I've collected over the years, including enough money so he will be able to do his Potions Mastery and lay low for a few years until he will have made a name with his potions, I think that he maybe will need his mother's heritage, not to mention that it rightfully is his.'_

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**July, 31st 1989 – Amity Manor – 11:21 pm**

"Lord Snape has asked for the service of a Gringotts bank assistant." The deep voice of Collybus announced the presence of the Goblin that was responsible for the Snape- and Amity-vaults.

"Good evening, Master Collybus." He answered, taking a deep breath before turning and then extending his hand towards the table he had standing in the middle of the laboratory, the table his father had put there, just so that he could drink a cup of tea with him, Severus, from time to time while they had to wait a few minutes until one potion or another was finished while they had nothing else to do, the table his father had placed there just so that he, Severus, could annoy him with whatever there was to annoy the man with, the table …

Forcing his thoughts back to the presence he inclined his head to Goblin that had watched him with a strange expression on his face to take a seat.

"I apologize for the late night call, Master Collybus, but I have a few questions that seem of uttermost importance." He then said, knowing that honesty was the only way to get along with a Goblin. "Would you please bring us tea, Zilly?"

Collybus watched the man he had learned to know as Lord Snape many years ago, the Son of Lord Amity.

Or Lord Potter.

Lord Amity, the _boy_ Amity, because back then he had not been a Lord, had come to him many years ago, while he had been a child still and he immediately had known that there was something amiss with this one wizard.

"I need someone I can trust." The boy had said. "I need someone who can help me and not think of making money for himself, and please not Griphook, should he already work here, because Griphook has betrayed me in the end."

He immediately had known that the young wizard had not spoken of the past but of the future, because the boy had said – 'in the end', and Griphook had worked at Gringotts only a few weeks then.

His first impulse had been to appoint one of their analysts to overtake the boy's case as it sounded very complicated already, but the absolute honesty that boy had radiated, it had been so very intriguing, he had waved the child into his office, away from the crowd, goblins and wizards, to have some privacy.

The boy at first had not spoken any word, had erected privacy wards over his office so strong, he barely ever had seen something alike, and only then the boy had started to tell him his story.

How he was Harry Potter but now Janos Amity, how he had been betrayed by so many wizards, Albus Dumbledore included, how he had fought against the Dark Lord because of a prophecy, how he had died and then been sent back to the battles and how fate for once had answered his call and he had come to the past, how he had adopted Severus Snape who'd been his teacher in his old timeline and how he now needed someone whom he could trust to mean well for once, for the sake of his child if not for the sake of himself.

The story the boy had told him back then had been told in such a confusing way, the young wizard going back and forth in time, in his explanations, it had taken him some minutes to sort it all out after the boy had finished with it, and even _before_ he had sorted it all out, the young wizard had fallen asleep on the dark brown leather sofa, his head resting on the armrest beside him, his legs drawn close to his body and the child he'd had with him, young Severus Snape, holding in his arms still, sleeping too.

He had covered both wizards with a blanket, not knowing why he did such a thing, and then he had gathered every information he could on the Potter family, the Snape family, on any eventual Amity families and on any other information that could be related with anything the boy had told him just a few minutes ago.

It had taken him more than three hours to sort through all the gathered papers and in the end he had leaned back in his armchair, watching over the paper filled table how the boy was about to wake, blushing and apologizing for falling asleep, clearly scared and he had narrowed his eyes at the young wizards, finding traces of abuse what the boy had not told him.

He hadn't mentioned it to Lord Amity, that he new, not ever, but that hadn't been important anymore.

He had made one foolish decision back then, one no Goblin ever would make and surely not out of the wish to serve and help someone in need of help. Of course he was not the first Goblin at Gringotts getting into a pact with a wizard, but …

**Flashback**

_"There is no need to apologize, Mr. Amity." He said, unable to take his eyes off the boy that folded the blanket and put it over the armrest of the sofa before cradling the child close to his chest again. "I suggest you eat something, young wizard, because I have a pact sealed with blood on my mind and you should eat before that."_

_"A pact sealed with blood, sir?" The boy had asked, unsure, and it was clear that the boy had been muggle raised, not costumed to the wizarding ways and how such things worked. _

_"You – need someone to trust, Mr. Amity, someone you can trust enough to not always question all the decisions made while I myself need to be sure that my efforts were not forgotten in later years. And therefore I suggest a pact closed on blood, a pact that ensures my help in financial matters and your assistance in form of ten percent of your fortune – of your fortune, not that of your son's, Mr. Amity. I will make with him my own pact in later years if he so wishes."_

**End flashback**

"As long as you do not ask more of him as you do of me." The boy had answered and he had agreed.

That had been many years ago, but he never had rued the decision he had made back then and over the time the young wizard had not only gained his respect, but his trust as well, as well as the respect of the wizarding world as it seemed, because soon he had become Lord Amity, having gained himself a place in the wizarding houses, most likely with the help of the Malfoy family. The man's title had then been passed over to Severus Snape when Janos Amity had died – something he himself had been very sad over, because the young Lord always had respected him, had handled him with the uttermost respect and kindness, not as a goblin like most wizards would and he had taught young Severus to be just as respectful and kind – what had been the reason as to why he had made the exact same pact with the young wizard as he had with his father.

Not an easy man, Severus Snape, but a trustworthy and very gently man if he chose to be – and he chose with him.

"That would be very welcomed." He answered, taking the seat offered. "What can I do for you, Lord Snape, at such a late night hour?"

"I am not sure myself, Master Collybus." The man answered, looking helpless, looking over to a small child that lay on a blanket on the working station in Lord Snape's laboratory, a child that seemed strangely known to him. "You know that my father did not name me Amity but had me keeping the Snape name because of the Snape vaults at Gringotts, because my mother had written over her inheritance to her husband."

"That had been one of his reasonings, yes." He said, knowing that the young wizard had also felt that the name Severus Snape could be important for the future somehow. He, the old Goblin, he had known that in this timeline surely the name Severus Snape was not important, because the man had not become the spy like he had been in his old timeline, did not play the same role in the wizarding war like back then, but as it wasn't important, he had not suggested to Lord Amity to change Severus name into Amity.

But now he started feeling the beginning of an understanding and he was glad that he had not cared about Severus being a Snape or Amity.

Because –

"May I have a drop of blood from this child, Lord Snape?" He carefully asked. "You do remember that I have done a pact, sealed with your father's blood and I already have my suspicions about your questions."

He could see the hesitance in Lord Snape's face, but then the wizard inclined his head and he smiled.

He could feel the bond forming between child and man while he at the same time knew – Lord Snape knew that he would not harm the child and walking over to the workbench he couldn't help sighing sadly at the sight of the boy, of young Lord Amity, or what he had been before they had become – friends, sort of.

He lifted his left hand, gently taking the child's left hand into his and watching the small hand before his own small black eyes came to watch the child's pale face, shaking his head over the cruelly of the human race. He knew best that the Goblins were not the kindest race, that Goblins could be just as cruel and that they surely did not step back from killing if necessary for their profit, but never would they torture a child like this, never would they harm any child at all as children were perished by the Goblins.

Running his own forefinger over the child's forefinger gently he pricked the tip of the child's finger gathered the needed drop of blood and then healed the small prick with the tip of his own forefinger again before he closed his eyes in concentration for a moment, lowering his head to his side in the attempt and then turning to Lord Snape.

"This indeed is Janos Amity, your father, in his original timeline." He then said, knowing that he made a fool of a Goblin out of himself and therefore forcing himself to leave the child's side and to go back to the table Lord Snape was still sitting, tense, as if ready to jump up at any moment while he had been with the child. Yes, Lord Snape did not trust him as much as Lord Amity had trusted him, and yet, seeing this child, he wondered wherefrom Lord Amity had taken this trust. "This timeline, where he had been Harry Potter."

"Had been?" Lord Snape asked, thanking his house elf for the tea he had brought and he did the same.

Goblins did not start friendships with wizards, but maybe he had become so close to this particular family, as small as this family was, because they did not keep the small house elf that had been given to them by Dumbledore as their servant, but as a friend, because they had given the small creature clothes long ago, had freed the small creature and handled him with as much respect and kindness than they would any wizard. Zilly indeed had his own room here at Amity Manor, he knew that, he had a soft bed, a desk and an armchair, a cupboard full of clothes, even if he did not use them all, he had shelves with things he liked, like books and a set of chessmen, and as absurd as it was, sometimes he even thought that Lord Amity had seen something akin to a second son in the small creature, anything but a house elf and he had never asked anything of the house elf either, had only accepted the creature's help when it had come down to Severus.

And he knew that Zilly had always stayed there to help them because he loved this wizarding family too, sometimes complaining because Janos Amity handled him as if he were a child instead of a creature of several hundreds of years, but the house elf always had known that the wizard didn't do so to put him down, but because he simply couldn't help himself, because he simply didn't know better, because he simply loved him and wanted to make him happy. And so Zilly had been happy, and he knew that Zilly was happy with Lord Snape too, or he wouldn't stay.

"Had been indeed." He answered. "Because he is not Harry Potter anymore. If you remember correctly, then you and I have done the same pact sealed with blood as I have done with your father, and so I do know your blood as much as I do know your father's blood – and while he has adopted you in the future, he should not hold your blood in his past, and yet – he does."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Merlin!

What a mess!

Had Harry Potter, this Harry Potter, from this timeline, did he carry part of his blood because he had adopted him, Severus Snape in his other timeline? And had therefore already carried his blood when he had been born? Because he was sure that …

The boy couldn't be sired by him, it was impossible, even if – yes, he'd had sexual interactions with Lily.

"That could be possible." Collybus said, getting him off his thoughts. "This child carrying your blood because Lord Amity has adopted you in his timeline and then your blood coming down to Harry Potter's veins when he died, nine years ago, anything could have happened because Lord Amity had done a small miracle himself, Lord Snape. But actually, I can feel that the change is not older than a few hours, two, maybe three hours."

"What does this mean, Master Collybus?" He asked. "The change, _what_ change?"

"In the child's blood." The Goblin answered and he still didn't understand. "This child is definitely not Harry Potter anymore, but Harry Snape."

"But if you say that it had happened hours ago only, not from his birth on while inheriting my father's blood that has running mine in his veins because of the blood adoption he had done, then how was this possible, Master Collybus?"

"I can feel the bond that is forming between you two, Lord Snape." The Goblin answered. "And I only can guess that something has happened between the child and you that has started this bond a few hours ago. It is you who has to know what has happened, because I have not been present then."

"The memory …" He gasped, suddenly knowing what had happened and he groaned with frustration. "I have watched a memory of those monsters – _torturing_ – the child and … I have been so shocked, I couldn't help myself but sitting there and simply holding the child." He explained upon the questioning look on the Goblin's face. "And I fear that this simple act of emotional care has started the adoption as the child was free anyway, no one claiming him as he was unwanted by his family to begin with, not a blood adoption and not an adoption by signing a contract, but a simple adoption caused by the emotions running between the adult and the child. I have not been aware of the child trusting me at all."

"I don't think he does." The Goblin said. "I think that he just has grabbed hold of the only chance he had seen to being kept from going back there ever again. I guess he has known that he was unwanted, that no one claimed him, not knowingly but unconsciously he has known while at the same time he has felt your care and so he clung to this, in an ancient way starting the adoption with the necessity and your magic has responded with the readiness."

"So be it." He said, not only knowing that he wouldn't be able going against this ancient bond to begin with but also knowing that – no, it wasn't asked more of him than what the boy had done for him in later years, it wasn't more or anything else than the boy had done for him and he was ready to do the same.

He would have kept the child anyway.

"Concerning the Potter family vault, I have had an eye on it since the very first beginning, when your father came to Gringotts and informed me of him being Janos Amity, alias Harry Potter." The Goblin then said, leaning back in the armchair. "I was not entrusted with the Potter vaults, because they have been Harold Potter's, and the Potter family had their own Gringotts trusts, but I have kept an eye on them anyway and after James Potter's death they had dwindled to one small vault only that has been invested by Lily Potter, nee Evans, and for Harry Potter so that her son had basic money for his school supplies."

"What _happened_ with the Potter fortune?" He asked, frowning, to his knowledge there had been four or five vaults at the minimum that had been filled to the brim with wealth.

"To my knowledge they have been used up by Albus Dumbledore." The Goblin said, reaching over a small stack of papers to him. "As you are the boy's father now, I think that you should know about this. Albus Dumbledore has been appointed the financial guardian of Harry Potter, but I cannot imagine that all the financial transfusions mentioned here have truly happened."

Skimming through the lists he frowned.

"Thousand Galleons for a room for Harry?" He asked, his voice a dangerous growl. "I know for sure that the child lived in a cupboard! And two thousand Galleons per month for a private boarding school? That would be ten thousand pounds per month and no muggle boarding school never mind how private is that expensive! Not to mention that I know that my father has not been to any school before Hogwarts as they feared that any teacher could find out about the abuse."

"Not to mention that the Potter Hacienda in South America has become a safe house for the order of the phoenix and the Potter Estate in Spain has become the Dumbledore Estate. The question now remains – except of the abuse, did the Dursleys too fool Albus Dumbledore or did Albus Dumbledore alone betray Harry Potter?" The Goblin asked and he immediately knew the answer.

"I know that the Dursleys got money for any needs Harry might have and for keeping him to begin with, but this money was limited to one thousand galleons each month, not more." He answered. "And they are listed here, and as far as I oversee this list here, it is the only money that went to their account. I do not know what Albus did with the other thousands of galleons, but surely they didn't go to the Dursleys. Not that they would have deserved them anyway, but it is clear that Albus betrayed Harry. What happened with the vault Lily opened for Harry personally?"

"After James Potter died and Albus Dumbledore was appointed Harry Potter's fanancial guardian the vault dissappeared from view as Ghronk, who has been the Potter assistant, got a new family vault appointet and so I overtook this vault as I have been the only one knowing that it existed. It is still active and as I know that Lord Amity has been Harry Potter once, I already have transferred the vault into the possession of Harry Snape when I took the boy's blood and discovered the change of his name. At least this one vault is safe from Albus Dumbledore." The Goblin said and he didn't know if he should feel relieved about at least one small vault being safe or if he should be angry about Albus having used up millions of Galleons, and most likely for the war. "Do you wish to bring up charges against Albus Dumbledore?"

"As soon as it is safe to do so, yes." He said. "But for now the child's safety is more important."

"And the Dursleys?"

"No." He growled. "Their punishment I will take into my own hands and I am sure I will have at least one helpful hand."

"Are you sure that you should risk Azkaban, Lord Snape?" The Goblin asked, watching him with his dark black eyes.

"Do you not think that I would plan it through first?" He asked. "I will place a copy of Harry Potter with the Dursleys until Albus' trial is over, so that the ministry won't get suspicious about the abuse and Harry being not with them or they would take the Dursleys to trial too and if that happened, they would end up in Azkaban, and therefore out of my reach. Only then, after Dumbledore's trial, I will have them – let me say, moving to Spain with Harry Potter while at the same time I present my son Hadrian Snape to the wizarding world."

"A Slytherin move." The goblin smirked. "But you won't manage this plan without outside help, Lord Snape."

"I will take the help I can get, Master Collybus."

"One of the differences between your father and you, Severus Snape, but I will present you with any help possible for me."

"One of the differences between your race and you, Master Collybus, and I am thankful for any help you can provide me with."

By the end of the day he again had a child sleeping on the worktable in his laboratory, a child that was his son, by the end of the day he had become a father, paying back what had been given to him so many years ago by the same child that was in his care now, barely alive, but by the end of the day the child still _was_ alive at all and he only could think …

'_I know that I won't be there for him always and even if I have already made sure that Severus will be provided with not only this manor but with any other possession I've collected over the years, including enough money so he will be able to do his Potions Mastery and lay low for a few years until he will have made a name with his potions, I think that he maybe will need his mother's heritage, not to mention that it rightfully is his.'_

By the end of the day he knew that – this child, his father, Janos Amity, Harry Potter, now Snape, a fifteen year old child had made wiser decisions when he was fifteen than Albus had in his old age.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_Still – a question of survival and a matter of trust for the small Snape family._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

374 Points - Slytherin

343 Points - Ravenclaw

339 Points - Gryffindor

163 Points - Hufflepuff


	13. this timeline

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

July, 07th 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_"A Slytherin move." The goblin smirked. "But you won't manage this plan without outside help, Lord Snape."_

_"I will take the help I can get, Master Collybus."_

_"One of the differences between your father and you, Severus Snape, but I will present you with any help possible for me."_

_"One of the differences between your race and you, Master Collybus, and I am thankful for any help you can provide me with."_

_By the end of the day he again had a child sleeping on his worktable, a child that was his son, by the end of the day he had become a father, paying back what had been given to him so many years ago by the same child that was in his care now, barely alive, but by the end of the day the child still was alive at all and he only could think …_

'_I know that I won't be there for him always and even if I have already made sure that Severus will be provided with not only this manor but with any other possession I've collected over the years, including enough money so he will be able to do his Potions Mastery and lay low for a few years until he will have made a name with his potions, I think that he maybe will need his mother's heritage, not to mention that it rightfully is his.'_

_By the end of the day he knew that - this child, his father, Janos Amity, Harry Potter, now Snape, a fifteen year old child had made wiser decisions when he was fifteen than Albus had in his old age._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter thirteen**

**This timeline**

**August, 1st 1989 – Amity Manor – 07:21 am**

Running his hand over his face he took a deep breath before sitting up in the armchair he had slept in, trying to make sense of the dream he'd had, knowing that somehow in his dreams he'd made a connection that was important. He didn't know what kind of connection could be important now, now that he _had found_ the boy in the first place, but he knew that there was _something_.

Taking the glass of water from the nearby table he took a sip of the cold water, thinking over what had been his last thoughts last night – well, this was not difficult, it had been the way Harry Potter had become Janos Amity who had become Harry Potter again and then Harry Potter had become Harry Snape.

'_Gladly would I have given my life, gladly would I have risked not being born again if I could have given Severus the life and love he deserved having with Lily – had I known that Voldemort had been dead by that time, but it isn't Severus' life alone but the life of hundreds, maybe thousands of people, children even.' _

He knew that, but if Janos had allowed him, Severus, his way, then Harry Potter would not have been born again.

Because of Voldemort, his dad had written in his journal, in his journal which he still had not finished reading yet, the journal that held thousands of pages even though it looked as if it were only a few hundred pages.

Because of Voldemort – but was it really this child's place to defeat Voldemort? It was a child and even in six years when the boy was fifteen, he still was a child, he still would be a child, and a war was not fought by children.

And here was the connection!

Because if this child remained Harry Potter, then he of course would end up exactly where Harry Potter had ended – being in the midst of a war, walking towards his own death, and last but not least – he would be to die, to being sent back and watch his friends dying, just so that he had to die a second time, to make room for a child that had to be born.

It was a snake that bit its own tail, it was a seemingly unbreakable circle – but _he_ could break it, maybe. Because he had found the connection. Maybe he could break it!

If he was correct, then that was the reason the boy's name had changed to Harry Snape – somehow. So the circle was broken.

But – he _knew_ that back then, in August 1963, back then Harry Potter couldn't have been aware of this particular outcome when he had taken him, Severus, from his father and had adopted him, had adopted him without giving him his name, had adopted him by blood. But Harry Potter – or Janos Amity – surely had been unaware of needing another name one day, when being – _'re-born'_ or whatever it was that had happened here.

So what was it that had changed Harry's surname into Snape? What was it that had known about this mystery? What was it that had happened here? That maybe had happened already many years ago?

Heaving a sigh the Potions Master pushed his own covers back and rose from the armchair, not really feeling rested, his dreams having been plagued by images of cupboards and little boys that were bleeding and hungry, his sleep having been disturbed by waking up over and over again to look after the child, to care for re-opened wounds and to give potions, to clean away what little he had gotten into the child earlier and what the boy had thrown up again, and to change the blanket the child was laying on, to change the blanket he had covered the child with.

But now he had the connection, the child's surname having been changed, the upcoming war, Voldemort …

But if he wished to hide the child, to hide him entirely, then this alone wouldn't be enough, then it wouldn't be enough to just change the boy's surname, then …

But could he really do this?

Well, it was worth a thought to begin with and he would see what would happen.

"If there is no wind – then row." His father always had said.

And there was no wind right now, he had to row right now if he was to keep this child safe and from drowning in Albus' war machineries.

Conjuring his patronus he thought for a moment before he started speaking to the doe.

"You are needed here at Amity Manor, and soon, Lucius." He softly said. "You need to come secretly and I need you to come as soon as you have some time, enough time to make plans. But be aware that whatever we will plan, it will be illegal, so consider Narcissa's presence well, my friend, I suggest you leave her with your sons."

He warded the doe's words, giving it his magical signature that would demand Lucius' magical signature or it would not give away his words and then sent the doe on its way before he himself stood and approached the workbench to have a look at the small child that lived here under his roof now too, only halfway able to imagine how his dad must have felt, having a small child suddenly living with him.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

He didn't know how long he had slept, but he knew that it definitely had been too long, the way he felt, rested and much better than he had in a long time – uncle Vernon would be so very, very angry with him.

And yet, somehow he didn't care, not anymore.

He would have cared weeks ago, maybe even days ago, but now? He only wished all of this being over finally, he only wanted this all to end finally, he wanted his uncle to finally kill him – the only thing was, he knew that his uncle wouldn't kill him quickly, if hehad learned one thing during the past few days, then it was this.

No, knowing his uncle and knowing his uncle's punishments lately, he surely would find a way to have it lasting for days or maybe even weeks, he didn't know, remembering one of his latest punishments and he knew that it was not the last one, that it would get worse only. Anyway he didn't have the energy to simply get up to make breakfast, preparing himself already for the next beating he knew would come, hoping that it would be over soon while he knew that it wouldn't be.

Sighing he noticed that it was not his cupboard he was in, that it was a soft and clean blanket he was laying on, and he immediately knew that he really was in trouble now, that uncle Vernon would kill him for being in a place with a soft and clean blanket, wherever it was he was now.

Frowning he remembered the strange man that had appeared in his cupboard and he remembered the man taking him here, wherever here was. It had been that strange man who had given him this blanket and –

Shooting up into a sitting position he remembered that this man had made him clean! And he had given him some ugly tasting things that had helped with the pain and with his stomach and that man had allowed him to sleep too! But why would … and who was … and …

This man had _washed_ him!

But uncle Vernon had sworn to him that he wouldn't allow him a bath ever again, or a shower, or washing himself, not after the mess he'd made on the kitchen floor _…  
><em>

Sobbing he remembered that he had _peed_ there, on the floor, but he'd been so scared and it had hurt so much and _…_

And then uncle Vernon had sworn to him that if he was a dirty little whelp then he would be treated like a dirty little whelp and dirty little whelps didn't wash, they were dirty _…_

He hadn't cared anymore after _that_ …

He hadn't cared anymore about what would happen with him after that, not after uncle Vernon … but this man had come to take him and … and this man had held him! And he had to admit that it had made him feeling safe, or at least he thought that this had been the strange feeling he'd felt, the strangest feeling he ever had felt and then he had cried like a baby and if uncle Vernon _…_

But why would anyone bother with _…_

A shadow falling over him had him giving away a scream, even if he knew that he shouldn't scream because uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia hated noise, at least noise that came from him, they hated it and they …

Not knowing what to expect from this stranger he leaned sidewards and let himself fall off the table he was sitting at, ignoring the pain and trying to scrawl beneath that table – just to realize that it wasn't a table at all but something else, something that had a wall, something he couldn't scrawl beneath to hide.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

The moment he came close to the child – that was awake again, he noticed with some annoyance – and his shadow fell over the small form the child gave a short startled scream away before scrambling away from him, suddenly leaning over the edge of the table to let himself fall to the floor, the first natural and instinctive reaction the child showed since he had the boy here and he didn't like it one bit, fearing the worst and immediately knowing that such a delicate form would break every bone at least if not its neck even upon such an impact.

The soft _'thud'_ when the small body hit the floor, accompanied by another scream, one of pain this time had him gritting his teeth with frustration, knowing that he should have prevented such a move from the child, knowing that he should have foreseen the child's reaction and with a quick step he approached the small figure that covered in a corner on the floor. He bent down on one knee, reaching forward to rest a hand on the boy's shoulder, and predictably, the small form shot back from him, silent now, but eyeing his hands warily with large green eyes.

Sighing he pulled his hand back and cast a diagnostic, knowing that he scared the hell out of the child while doing magic, but also knowing that he couldn't wait until next year to look for broken bones.

And yes, they were there, he a moment later realized when holding the parchment in his hand, a broken wrist, a broken shoulder and a few broken ribs. And yes, he also had scared the hell out of the child while doing magic too, he realized when looking back at the child with a frustrated sigh, the boy pressing himself into the corner between the working table and the wall, a shaking mess with a pale and damp small face with wide green eyes that stared at him with clear panic in them.

"Calm down, child." He sighed. "You have broken some bones – again and we have to mend them." He gently added but when he placed the palm of his hand against the child's damp forehead once more, to calm the child before taking him, the boy automatically pulled back and out of his reach with a hiss of pain and a startled scream.

"S'ry un'le …" The child began to whisper over and over again, started to sob the words and it took Severus several moments until he finally had figured out what exactly the child was saying, but once he had and understood the words the child was screaming by now he felt ill, he felt the same rage and fury soaring through him like yesterday and last night, because no child should feel such a horrifying fear of his own uncle and gritting his teeth he forced his emotions to the back of his awareness, forced himself to switch back into his well known logic mode.

"That's enough, Harry." He said, reaching out and simply taking hold of the child's small form, lifting the boy out of the corner and back onto the table where he sat him down, shaking his head at the small form that looked anything but a now nine year old child. "Quiet now. Your uncle is not here, child, You are at Amity Manor with Professor Snape and no one else is here."

Except of Lucius, he thought, feeling the other wizard's presence in a shadowed corner, but he didn't say that right now.

But well, the wizarding child wasn't ready to listen to his words anytime soon, wasn't able to calm down anytime soon and he had no other chance than slowly and carefully but resolutely taking the child's arm and starting to mend the small wrist with a spell, knowing that the child had so many potions in his system still that he would risk poisoning him if he added a skele-gro to the small and weak body, hoping that Lucius read the situation correctly and not come out right now while he at the same time wondered – again – how they, how anyone could treat a child like this, until everything he did, or anyone else did, he feared he was punished, he was beaten.

"I won't hurt you, child." He softly said, knowing that he repeated himself, knowing that he had used the very same words last night, and the day before while at the same time he didn't know what else to say, what other words to use, how he could make it good for the child. Instead he had to cause him even more pain since hours now while cleaning out dirty and infected cuts, while healing his injuries and while mending his broken bones.

And suddenly he knew that – yes, he would do it, because he swore to himself that this timeline would be good for the child, because he swore that in this timeline he would change the child's life. The boy would get what he needed in this timeline and he would be allowed to grow up in this timeline.

But first he had to make sure that at least those blasted bones were mended and that the child at least was stable enough to survive the new potion.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**August, 1st 1989 – Amity Manor – 09:14 am**

Knowing that he better didn't come out of the shadows now or he would disturb Severus and the child he stood still, watching the Potions Master silently, knowing that Severus surely must have felt his presence and that therefore he would have acknowledged him if he was to come out.

He had flooed over to Amity Manor as soon as Severus' patronus had arrived.

He immediately had known that something was very wrong, because not only had been the doe warded with Severus' magical signature, only giving away its message upon acknowledging his, Lucius', magical signature, but the message itself had been just as startling.

Of course he knew that Severus was a bit more – disregardful, or neglectful, when it came to wizarding law and ministry orders, a trait he surely had learned from Janos, but never before had the man right-out suggested to plan something completely illegal so that he, Lucius, would have to worry about ending up in Azkaban – and nothing else it was, if Severus suggested keeping Narcissa out of this so that never mind what, Draco and Scorpius would not lose both parents.

In other words – something was very wrong and it was either a matter of life situation or – or Severus had found what he had been searching for since years.

And well, flooing over to Amity Manor, he immediately had realized the change in the man's wards, only letting him through after having checked his magical signature, again, and he immediately knew that the had changed to something more protective than they had been before – he immediately knew that whoever would try to get through with force, would die and he frowned.

Because he knew that Severus was no killer.

This other Severus maybe, the Severus Snape from Janos' original timeline maybe, but not … and yet, at the same time, he could feel the wish to kill radiating off the man and for a short moment he wondered if maybe this child – or rather what had been done to this child, he was no idiot after all – had caused this Severus to become like …

But then – this other Severus, this original Severus Snape, from what he knew he had been no killer either, from what he knew, this man had kept up his bad reputation because he'd had a role to play in a war, a role as a Death Eater, a spy, and even if he might have had killed – then he surely had not liked it and maybe this Severus Snape here was not so far away, was not so different from the other one, because he knew Severus, they were friends since their earliest childhood and he also knew that Severus was capable of killing, as had been Janos.

Watching the man he was amazed at how very much controlled he used every bit of instinct he had to break through to the child, trying so hard to measure his stance and his movement, his gazes and his tone, his words and how to hold his hands, that cunning was practically surrounding the man in waves as if he were dealing with one of Hagrid's injured and frightened creatures while the child watched his ever movement, following Severus' hands with his eyes and when he gazed into the green eyes of the child he nearly gasped. Nearly, mind you, he was Lucius Malfoy after all and Lucius Malfoy _did_ have some control over himself!

Janos.

This child was Janos!

So, Severus had found his father, finally, but in what condition and suddenly he understood the man's wish to kill – and suddenly he knew the reason as to why Severus had asked him over. Severus needed a back-up plan, needed help in taking revenge for the child, maybe needed help in hiding the child from most likely not only the ministry but Dumbledore too.

He didn't know if he had been standing there for ten minutes only or for an hour since he had come to the manor when finally Severus was rewarded with the child starting to respond to his careful body language, the child calming down and uncurling, allowing him to take the small limbs into his – for the child surely large hands to heal apparently broken bones, allowing him to finally pull him out of the corner on the floor and he nearly gasped at how careful the man held the child.

Of course Severus had held Draco when the boy had been smaller, and he also held Scorpius still when the boy wanted being held by the Potions Master, but never before had he seen the man holding one of the children so carefully as he did hold this child.

"I want you to meet an old friend of mine." Severus said and he knew that it was time for him to step out of his hiding place.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Taking a deep breath when he finally had healed the last broken bone and the new cut on the child's side where he had scrapped along the edge of the table when he had let himself fall to the floor, he put the boy back onto the tabletop.

"Will you stay there without me having to make sure you won't fall again, child?" He asked, softly enough to know that only the child could hear him and after a moment the boy nodded, giving away a barely audible "s'ry". He however didn't like the still so lifeless eyes in the pale face, but he knew that he couldn't change that, not now, and maybe not ever, maybe only as a man, living in peace for many years, would change this, would change those half-dead eyes into the calm and wise but warm and living eyes of Janos Amity, he didn't know, but he wasn't ready to let the child suffer until then.

No more.

No more pain and no more fear.

"Good, because I want you to meet an old friend of mine." He said, preparing for the worst, preparing for another panic attack, but nothing happened, the child only looking over to where Lucius stepped out from the shadows and into the open space of his laboratory, the green eyes seemingly far away, disinterested to some extent and only the small body started tensing in clear fear.

"Severus." He heard the soft voice of his friend and he knew that Lucius realized he had to be careful. Of course Lucius did realize this, he had been standing there for nearly half an hour, watching him.

"Why don't we leave this laboratory and pay a visit to the living room, child?" He softly said, finally eliciting a reaction from the boy, Harry looking over at him, startled, scared, and for a moment the small form started to squirm out of the hand he had placed at the small neck.

Severus put his hand up to stop the child from saying something like not being allowed in the living room and a moment later he could see Harry flinching away and getting wide eyed at the simple gesture, a soft "s'ry … s'ry … didn' 'xpectin' that" being all he managed to mumble.

"Calm down, Harry." He said, feeling Lucius' eyes in his back but he didn't turn. "I will not beat you, child, I only held up my hand to stop you from interrupting me, that is all. You are allowed in the living room, seeing that you are living here now, child. And now hush." He said, picking the small form up from the work table and casting one long and searching gaze at Lucius who gave him a nod, he carried him out of the laboratory, up the stairs, through the kitchen and into the large parlour, all the way holding the small form against his chest with one hand and the small head against his shoulder with his other hand.

_"Do not risk this child's life, Lily." _His father had said one day, looking seriously at the girl._ "This child has to live, never mind what, this child has to be protected, and this child has to be loved by you, because he might not have much love in later years. Do not risk your son's life, child, because I do not wish to die without a reason."_

How right his father had been, how very much this child had lacked love for nearly his entire life so far, how very much would this child have to catch up – too much, because a human life was too short to really catch up on what this child had missed for so many years while at the same time a human life was too short to really make good what had been done to this child for so many years. And he, he could not change it, he could not …

Twice had Janos had to walk towards death by free will, first sent by Dumbledore so he would allow Voldemort to kill him, and years later with the knowledge that he had to die so he could be reborn – just to be abused by his family in the cruellest way imaginable, for years and years to come. And it was clear that Janos had known that he would be abused in the future timeline as well as he had been in the past timeline.

But no more!

He had _one_ chance to do right on this child for once. He had been too late to get the child out of this house, but he could do one thing to make it good for the child, at least as good as possible, and he would do this, because too often did this child have to suffer. He would make sure that none of this happened ever again.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"Severus?" He asked when they were sitting in the living room, Severus in the armchair near the fire that was running even though it was August now, holding the child in his arms, the child that was tense with fear, most likely not knowing why he was held by the man that surely was a stranger to him. Because he knew that four days ago during breakfast he'd had together with Severus, this child had not been here. And he also knew that some of those bruises on the child's face were newer than four days and he knew that Severus surely never would beat a child like this one had been beaten.

So, this had been the doing of the child's uncle, of Janos' uncle.

Well, Severus might have been unable finding the man in the past, but now – this uncle must be living somewhere and so he knew that they would find him. And yes, he already thought in the term _'they'_ instead of _'he'_, because he knew that he would have to play a role in this.

"I will brew the redire infantia." Severus said and he frowned.

"And here I thought you would like to take revenge." He said, unable to keep his sarcasm in line, knowing that he had to use if for both of them as Severus surely was not able to be sarcastic right now.

"I think there are more important things to do than thinking of revenge." The Potions Master said. "And one of these things are – to make sure that this child here will have a normal childhood. They will suffer, but not before I am sure that the child is safe."

Looking down at the child Severus was holding, the boy watching them both warily but clearly not caring what they talked about he knew that most likely Severus was right. To make sure that this child was safe, to do for this child what Janos had done for Severus, namely making sure that the boy had a normal and happy childhood, that was more important.

"Am I correct in the assumption that this child is – Harry Potter?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at the small frame. Scorpius was five years old and he was taller than this child was – while Harry Potter had to be nine years old now.

"You are indeed, partly." Severus said and he frowned. "The child is not Harry Potter anymore, but Harry Snape, soon to be Hadrian Snape, my son from a – unlucky liaison I've had a few years ago."

"You do realize that illegal doesn't even cover your plan, my dear Severus?" He smirked. "If your father knew how many laws you are breaking!"

"He would do the same, Lucius." Severus softly said and he knew that his friend was correct, because the man had done so when he had adopted Severus, faking his name, his age, everything.

"Yes, he would." He softly said, watching the child that seemed to relax in Severus' arms that seemed to melt away to sleep with their soft voices, small fingers having a tight hold on a much larger wrist as if visibly sucking up even the smallest scrape of safety and protection like a sponge that had been dried for years.

"You do remember Lythia?" He asked, smirking.

"Your second cousin on your mother's side?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowed at him.

"Exactly." He answered. "She has been after you for years and years before she suddenly was gone, vanished from the wizarding world as it seemed."

"I do remember her." Severus said, huffing, causing the child to look up at him, startled, to tighten the grip the boy had on the man's wrist as if to keep himself safe from at least this hand. "She nearly drove me mad with her attitude."

"Hmm." He made. "Did you know that she died a few weeks ago?" He asked, watching the man's eyes narrowing at him. "She's indeed left the wizarding world, had married a muggle and three weeks ago they both died in a car crash. Their son survived the impact, but the boy was brought to a hospital and died there just two days ago. I'm not sure how responsible a muggle hospital is with any papers of patients they might keep though."

"And this man's family?" Severus asked, immediately knowing what kind of thought he was starting to form in the back of his mind and he smirked.

"He didn't have one." He said, wracking his brain. "I've met them once and Lythia immediately had us drinking tea in a small tea-shop near the centre of London. Well, to my knowledge his parents both had died early, he didn't have any siblings and neither had his parents, so there are no uncles or aunts. There were a few friends and the neighbours of course, but to my knowledge they only know that they had been a happy family even though the child had been born a few months into the marriage by Lythia. Who however the biological father had been – no one knew."

"Surely their friends have been preparing to care for the child one way or another and therefore they surely have been informed about the boy's death by now if he died two days ago like you said."

"I don't know." He said, taking a deep breath. "I'll try to get the information this afternoon. Are you sure you want to do this? You would have to de-age the boy to the age of fifteen month."

"Fifteen months." Severus softly said, looking down at the boy that had fallen asleep, lulled to sleep by their soft voices, the dark eyes thoughtfully.

"Severus?" He asked when there was nothing else coming from the Potions Master.

"It is very difficult to hit the exact age." His friend thoughtfully said. "The difference mostly is a few weeks, but sometimes even a few months. But if I managed to get him fourteen months and three weeks old …"

"The scar." He said, suddenly understanding and he could feel his own need to solve this, to do this, to help Severus – and this child – with this. "I will be back later." He said, getting off the armchair and causing Severus to look up at him curiously. "I have a few things to care for, I'll be back later."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**August, 1st 1989 – Amity Manor – 09:14 am**

He had been sitting there for nearly an hour now, the child in his arms still sleeping and so he'd had time to run another diagnostic, to work his plan around this diagnostic and to think of what was to do. For the potion he needed, the redire infantia, the "going back in childhood" potion, he already had the base for it, only needing the ingredient that would be the catalyst so the potion acted backwards on this particular child – in other word a drop of blood. How far back the potion would bring the child, that depended on the amount of the potion he would give him. He however had to take into account the child's weight, his height and his general health – and that was the difficult part, to take all those things into consideration so that he didn't give too much nor too less. If he didn't give enough, then the child would grow younger for a year or two only, if he gave too much, then in the worst case scenario the child would become too young, would pass his point of birth – what would kill him.

And so he started to calculate, one arm draped over the child's shoulders and the other arm resting on the table he had summoned earlier, writing down the child's age and the information about the correct height and weight he could gather from the diagnostic, startled at how little the child actually weighted. He added the value of strength the diagnostic gave, and the value of the potions the child already had in his system.

Below that he added the values of the ingredients the potion needed to de-age the boy contained before bringing them in balance, trying to find a common denominator. Based on the value he would get out of this he hoped being able to get the amount of potion needed, seeing that he knew the amount of time they had to cover.

"Severus?"

Startled he looked up at the picture above the fireplace, at the drawing of Janos Amity, his father.

"I should have known this, dad." He softly said. "I should have realized this years ago already. And you should have told me, you stubborn, idiot man!"

A moment later there was a gasp coming from the drawing and then Janos' eyes went large.

"Oh no." The older wizard in the picture gasped. "Please not! You haven't found …"

Another moment later the frame was empty, the armchair Janos had been sitting in abandoned.

"Dad!" Severus called out, desperation washing over him. "Dad, please, come back. I'm not angry!" But there was no answer and neither Janos coming back to the frame and he took a deep breath. Maybe he should have prepared his father for this moment, he knew how unsure the man was, he knew how scared of losing him, Severus, he was and he knew how …

But there was nothing he could do right now, because right now he had to care for this child that actually was the man in the frame, or would become the man in this frame, the same man that had fled the situation out of fear he could lose him, most likely sitting in only Merlin knew what frame and feeling alone and disappointed and scared and …

"I'll make it alright, dad." He said, hoping that the man wasn't gone far and somehow could hear him. "I promise you that I'll make it alright. I'll care for you and you'll be alright and … I'm sorry. I'm just sorry that I haven't found you earlier, I'm sorry that … I'm sorry for everything."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**August, 1st 1989 – Malfoy Mansion – 02:11 pm**

For a moment she really was angry at that idiot of a man, and her husband too, honestly. This blasted man just decided to keep her out of this, and without even asking for her opinion before making such a decision and Lucius even agreed to that!

But then she took a deep breath. Of course Severus would think of her sons first, would not want her sons being alone because he had asked both of them for help. And if Lucius was imprisoned, then she would be alone with the two children already, it surely was enough for them to have one parent in Azkaban – and a godfather – they didn't need the other parent there too.

Besides – she had enough to do while staying in the background. There realy were so many things they would not think of, seeing that they were men and men didn't think of a birth announcement. They surely would think of getting their hands at the registration of birth from the child, but not of a birth announcement in the papers. And surely not of baby pictures or baby clothes either, of baby bottles and of comforters, of swaddle clothes and bibs. It was a woman needed for such and immediately she gathered one of the many baby albums she had gotten for Draco and Scorpius, She had so many of them, she never would be able filling all of them and she found a nice green one.

Lucius had told her in short words what had happened, what they were about to do and who the boy was that was to become Janos, Severus' father. Honestly, she did not wonder about that!

However, knowing the green eye-colour, the same from Lily, she chose the green album and immediately started working on things to fill it with. And dare Lucius calling her a foolish woman that would think of woman things liky a baby album only!

Taking the Daily Prophet she cut a public birth announcement that sprang to her eyes and taking her quill she changed the information given. She crossed out the name Bartholomew Alkalie and a moment later the name disappeared, leaving her space to set in the name Hadrian Snape, the birth date she changed to May 7th, 1988, from what she knew, and the birth place to Livingston, Virginia.

For a moment she frowned, wondering why Lythia had been unable to accept Severus' love to Lily and not to her. She could be alive still, as could her child, if only she had not left England to live with a muggle in the states and then have this accident. Of course no one knew who the biological father of this child was, she had been pregnant already when she had married this muggle, she didn't even remember his name, but well, this actually did work into her hand right now because she easily could make it seem as if Severus had been the secret father who now claimed his son back so the child would not end up in an orphanage.

Frowning she read the slogan that went with the announcement – _'our family has grown, we are proud and happy to welcome you in this world, because where children are, is paradise.'_ What crap, really! Dipping her quill into the ink bottle she crossed out the sentence and again a blank space appeared.

She thought for a moment, remembering what she knew of the child's changing of timelines and what the child had achieved with his actions, what good had come out of it, Severus, Lucius, Draco and Scorpius – from what she knew all their lives would have gone entirely different ways if Janos had not stumbled into Abraxas' life back then.

'_Threefold is the step of time.'_ She wrote. _'Hesitantly the future will come, as swift as an arrow the now is gone, and in eternity silence the past does rest. Your presence in our lives has worked miracles, and so you prove the saying that a child is manifested love, may you be welcomed in our world, in our lives, in our hearts, child of time.'_

Yes, that would do, she thought with a smile, already seeing her husband rolling his eyes, but honestly, what did a man know of such things? Such was a woman's work and with a smile she went over to the fireplace to call Gwendolyn over for a tea party, Adriana, of course and Andromeda.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"And Severus really is that child's father? How do you know, Narcissa?" Andromeda asked and she shook her head in played exasperation at her sister.

"Really, Dromeda, have you no common sense in your mind?" She asked back. "Why else would Severus bother taking the child from the States to England? The poor child has no one left and of course Severus would claim his son back, he is a responsible man after all!"

"Does he even have enough clothes for that child?" Adriana asked, giggling. "I really cannot imagine Severus with such a small child, honestly how young is the boy now?"

"He's fifteen months old." She answered obediently, very satisfied with the afternoon so far, because now it was public – Severus would claim his son and he would bring his son to England to raise the child himself.

"How old has he been when Janos has adopted him, Narcissa?" Gwendolyn asked. "Wasn't he the same age?"

"Of course he was, just a few months older." Narcissa answered, knowing that Severus had been three back then, but well, she didn't tell them how many months he had been older.

"You know that is so sweet, Narcissa dear." Gwendolyn then said, folding her hands in front of her chest. "He's been adopted when he was so small and now he will get a child that same age. I really cannot imagine Severus of all people with a child."

"Ah, you haven't been able imagining Lucius with a child either, Gwen." Andromeda said. "And now my brother in law has two children already, and so sweet children."

"Don't let Draco hear your comment, Dromeda." Narcissa laughed, knowing what reaction they would get form the boy for her sister's words, the boy being nine now and surely thought he was anything but sweet. "But you know, I still have Draco's and Scorpius' old baby-bed. It's been Severus' baby-bed once, Janos has carved it with his hands back then, he hadn't even used his wand. Minerva told me. And when Draco was born Janos came and brought the baby-bed, demanding we take it because he wanted it being used instead of standing around and gathering dust.

"Why had he not given it to Lily?" Andromeda asked, frowning. "I remember how fond Janos had been of the unborn child, how protective he has been over Lily when she was pregnant, I remember that he even really scolded her for using the floo and she only had been three months into pregnancy."

Yes, Janos had been so very protective over Lily and her unborn child, often reminding her to be careful, to love this child because the child wouldn't get much love in later years, he had been so very protective over them that sometimes even Severus had felt jealous. Not really jealous, but he at least had complained about his father's behaviour.

She now knew the reason for that.

"I don't know." She softly said. "It's such a shame that he died so early. I'm so sure that he would be overjoyed with Severus becoming a father, he would be so very proud of Severus."

"Merlin, that would have made Janos a grandfather." Andromeda gasped. "Do you remember what a fool Abraxas had become in Draco's presence? What would it have done to Janos then?"

"I better don't dare thinking of that, Dromeda!" She gasped playfully while inwardly she wished nothing more than to cry for all that was happening, with Janos, Harry, Severus, Hadrian now – it was as if fate had the child in an unmerciful grip. Maybe now the child would find peace finally.

"I still have a few boxes with baby clothes in the attic." Adriana said and she smiled. Of course the woman had, that had been the reason – or at least one of the reasons – as to why she had invited her over to tea, except because she was her friend and it would be strange if he had such a gathering to gossip without her, and of course to have the news of Severus getting his son spread over the wizarding world so that no one would ask the Potions Master stupid questions when he had the child living with him.

"Oh, I remember the sweet clothes your Adam always has been wearing, Adriana." She smiled and clapped her hands. "I'm sure that Severus would be so very happy for your help with this. You know how men are, they have no sense for baby clothing and they only buy what is absolutely necessary, what means that little Hadrian would have to wear his clothes for half a week."

"Oh, the poor child." Gwendolyn said. Of course Gwendolyn would say so, the mother of a little daughter who had new clothes every day, and the best of clothes no less. "I can imagine Severus with the child, are you sure he will manage? He surely wouldn't even buy a baby bouncer or a baby buggy. Does he have a diaper changing table?"

"Maybe the boy is already clean, idiot woman!" Andromeda shook her head.

"How can the child be clean with fifteen months?" Gwendolyn shrugged her shoulders at Andromeda. "Your daughter hasn't been clean with fifteen month either."

"Nymphadora is sixteen now, Gwen." Andromeda said with a suffering sigh. "That's fifteen years ago and surely you wouldn't remember my daughter being clean or not clean back then."

"I'm sure that the girl would be so very happy having us talking about her being clean or not." Narcissa laughed.

"She would be horrified." Andromeda said, smirking. "

"Does anyone know what became of Lily's child?" Andromeda suddenly asked. Her sister always had been very close with Lily, even though she had been older.

"The boy is nine years now." She offered. "He's living with his aunt and uncle, with Lily's sister."

"With Petunia?" Andromeda asked, shaking her head. "The poor boy." She then said. "I remember Petunia, and as far as I know that was not the most pleasant person back then, maybe she has changed over the years."

"She has a son of her own now." She said, knowing that no, Petunia Dursley had not changed over the years but that was not an information that was to be shared with the other women right now.

"Ah, then at least the child doesn't have to grow up alone." Andromeda smiled. "He will come to Hogwarts in two years, together with Draco, won't he?"

"I guess." She answered, not knowing what Lucius and Severus had planned for the child that was Harry Potter, the nine year old that would – disappear somehow. "I know that Lily and James have paid the school fees for the child already, but maybe Petunia has changed arrangements, we don't know."

"Can she do this?" Gwendolyn asked, the woman knowing Lily of course, but not knowing Lily's sister. "She's a muggle after all and if Lily has paid for Hogwarts, surely she can't keep the boy from his rightful education."

"Like I said, Gwen, I don't know." She truthfully answered. "We'll have to wait and see, I fear."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**August, 1st 1989 – Amity Manor – 05:14 pm**

"I have good news, Severus." Lucius voice came from the parlour the moment the man had exited the floo. "The friends who wanted to take care of Lythia's child hadn't been informed yet about the boy's death. The hospital would have done so upon their next visit."

"That is indeed good news." Severus said, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it. At least this was working the way it should so that their plan could work.

"Indeed." Lucius smirked at him and he already knew that there was more. "I already have obliviated them into believing that you personally have been there to get the child from hospital, just yesterday. He never died and changing all their papers really has been no act at all. And you won't believe what Narcissa has done, my dear Severus."

"Oh, please do tell me what your dear wife has done, Lucius." He groaned, knowing that if Narcissa was involved, then he had to prepare for the worst.

"Well, she's had a tea party this afternoon, with Andromeda, Adriana and Gwendolyn." Lucius smirked at him and he closed his eyes, knowing what the cause for the tea party had been. "And they already have gossiped about you, my dear Severus, taking home your son so that the poor boy wouldn't end up in an orphanage after his mother and her muggle husband died. You know they are so sweet if they are in their element, already imagining you with the little child and I'm sure that you soon will have boxes of baby clothes, a baby bed, a baby bouncer and a baby buggy, not to mention baby bottles, baby comforter, baby waddles, and anything else that has to do with babies."

"Merlin, help me with this." He groaned, sitting down into the armchair and running his hand over his face. Merlin, was he tired. "I however do need another favour of you, Lucius." He then said and the man immediately grew serious again.

"What could have happened in the short time I have been gone?" Lucius asked and he sighed in exasperation of the stern behaviour the older wizard displayed.

"Janos." He sighed. "He has seen Harry and immediately he had known what had happened – and then he disappeared. He hasn't come back since and I fear that he either is sitting in one or another frame, only Merlin knows which one, being desperate and alone and thinking that I would hate him now, now that I know that he actually is Harry Potter."

"He can be at Hogwarts only, at Amity Manor or at Malfoy Mansion." Lucius said, frowning. "I'll have Abraxas looking for your wayward father, don't worry, Severus, you have enough to worry about in foreseeable future."

Well, by the end of the day he had a child laying on the sofa in his parlour, by the end of the day he had a plan that would make this child his son, and by the end of the day he hopefully would have back his father who had vanished out of fear of being hurt, rejected and hated by his own son.

By the end of the day he had no clue of what the next few hours would bring. But by the end of the day he at least had a plan that would keep the child, his father, safe.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

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><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_A question of survival and a matter of trust while a new stage of life might start._

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

412 Points - Slytherin

371 Points - Gryffindor

366 Points - Ravenclaw

165 Points - Hufflepuff


	14. the scarecrow

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

July, 07th 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

As I promised – or rather told – you, this story will get two more chapters so that it reaches chapter 15 like "here and now" – just to get a bit of the chaos back under control as I fear I have too many stories working at the present time. And yet, I fear it won't get any easier as new ideas already have formed in my head – *sigh* …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

* * *

><p>Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine<p>

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_"What could have happened in the short time I have been gone?" Lucius asked and he sighed in exasperation of the stern behaviour the older wizard displayed. _

_"Janos." He sighed. "He has seen Harry and immediately he knew what had happened – and then he disappeared. He hasn't come back since and I fear that he either is sitting in one or another frame, only Merlin knows which one, being desperate and alone and thinking that I would hate him now, now that I know that he actually is Harry Potter."_

_"He can be at Hogwarts only, at Amity Manor or at Malfoy Mansion." Lucius said, frowning. "I'll have Abraxas looking for your wayward father, don't worry, Severus, you have enough to worry about in foreseeable future."_

_Well, by the end of the day he had a child laying on the sofa in his parlour, by the end of the day he had a plan that would make this child his son, and by the end of the day he hopefully would have back his father who had vanished out of fear of being hurt, rejected and hated. _

_By the end of the day he had no clue of what the next few hours would bring. But by the end of the day he at least had a plan that would keep the child, his father, safe._

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter fourteen**

**The scarecrow**

**August, 1st 1989 – Malfoy Mansion – 05:21 pm**

"Dad?" Lucius asked of his father, standing below the drawing and in front of the fireplace.

"What do you want, Lucius, to wake an old man like me from his much needed sleep!" The man in the picture growled back at him, sitting in an armchair in which he had been dozing, yawning and smacking his lips as if that would drive his drowsiness away, blinking his eyes before fixing them on the blond young man in front of the fireplace.

"Well deserved." Lucius shook his head. "You have been doing nothing lately than sitting in this armchair and dozing time away, dad, as if this would be such hard work, really. But that's not important right now. Janos is gone, dad. Severus has found – Severus has found him in this timeline, in form of Harry Potter, Lily's child, and … and he's taken him from his relatives because he's been beaten there, and badly so, he's taken him to Amity Manor and Janos has seen him."

"And now the idiot has gone off in fears that Severus would abandon him, would hate him and would do only Merlin knows what to him." Abraxas said and Lucius nodded his head.

"You have to find him, dad." He softly said. "And bring him back. Severus is sick with worry, added to all the trouble he already has on his hands! Albus is playing a strange game, dad, and Severus cannot relay on him and actually he fears that Albus would take the boy away from him to place him back at the Dursleys even though he already has adopted him by ancient magic."

"I see." Abraxas said. "Yes, Albus has changed over the years and it has gotten worse since Janos' death. Janos has always kept the old man sane somehow, but now, I fear that Albus really will do all these things Janos has told me over the years. It is good that Severus has finally found him. Make sure that he can keep him, help him – I will bring this wayward father of his back to him, don't worry."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"Child?" He softly asked when slight movement told him that the boy he had taken from the muggles was awake and slowly he knelt in front of the sofa the child still was laying at.

Of course the small boy was up in a moment, sitting up as quickly as possible and watching him with scared large eyes, but he thought that this was better than the dead and uninterested look that had been in the green eyes earlier. He didn't like it, but at least there was life.

"I would like to talk with you about something." He softly said, ignoring the fear the boy radiated. "And I need you to pay close attention. Can you do that?"

There was no answer than a quick nod, as if the boy feared that he would be beaten if he didn't or if he took his time with an answer. So – now it could start, a conversation he didn't know how to hold, a conversation that should not hold words like – magic, wizards, or potions.

"Alright." He said, again ignoring any sign of fear coming from the child. "Alright. I have taken you from the Dursleys and I have already adopted you, last night in the – medical laboratory, when you have been reaching out with the need of someone who took care of you for once, and I have answered automatically with the need to help you. It was an adoption by heart and soul. Are you amenable – are you alright with this, child?"

There was again a quick nod, large green eyes watching him warily, and he was not sure if it _really_ was alright for the small boy or if he just gave the answer he thought he, Severus, wanted to have.

"That means, that you don't have to go back to your aunt and uncle, absolutely never." He said, just in case that the boy didn't know it. "It means, that you will stay here with me, that I am your father and that you are my son now. You will be living here at Amity Manor together with me. Alright?"

Again a nod, and he could see the brain starting to work things over.

There was no question about his relatives. No question about anything, There was no statement that he would like seeing them again – no statement about anything. The child took the news stoically like he clearly was taking anything that was thrown his way.

"There might be a few troubles arising." The Potions Master continued and already he could see the fear starting to rise in the green eyes, fear that changed into something akin to panic – yet, he knew, any move he would make to calm the small thing in front of him would only frighten him more and so he kept his hands still. "But we are working on that. I have introduced Lucius already to you, and together with him and his wife I have formed – and am working on a plan. But before we go the last step of that plan, the one step that would be irreversible, that means we cannot make it undone, I have to know if that is what you want. I need to know if you are alright with living here with me instead of with your aunt and uncle. I … I need to be sure, Harry."

There were still those large green eyes watching him, looking at him, seriously, more serious than the eyes of an old man would look, there was no nod, there was no headshake – only those large green eyes watching him as if they would look into the deepest parts of his soul.

But then –

"Yes." Came a small, whispered voice. "Please."

Taking a deep breath he inclined his head before slowly lifting his hand, slowly extending his hand to place it at the knobbly knee of the child.

"Then be it." He softly said. "I will take good care of you, I promise. And I will protect you with my life, I promise. Now drink this." He then said, knowing that any explanation as to what it was would only frighten the boy, knowing that he would forget the explanation when he was de-aged anyway, because – anything that happened now, as the boy became younger, things were – un-happening – for the lack of a better word.

Not only was it the perfect disguise for the child, as Albus would never search for an infant when searching for Harry Potter, but also did he hope that some of the injuries were undone as they had not been done to him when he had been younger. It would be like a – time-travel, again for the lack of a better word, but a time-travel that did only concern this particular human being, neither any other human being nor time itself as the flow of time would go on like always. Only the boy would go back in time, would become younger, and things that had happened to him later were undone, had simply never happened to him – a blessing for this particular child.

And again, just like the day before, like the night before, little Harry – and yes, even though the boy was nine years old now, but he did look like a three year old and so he couldn't help calling the boy little Harry – took the potions vial from his hand and drank the content, without question, without complaining, only the small and thin body being wracked with the shudders from the bad taste of it.

Well – now it lay in Merlin's hands.

He had calculated it through, and through again, and he had gone over all the ingredients a third time even – he had considered the boy's age, his weight and stature, his weakness from lack of nutrients and his level of exhaustion even, he had considered how much potions he already had given him, how many spells he had used on him – and he knew, as much as there could go badly wrong still, he had made sure of the best conditions.

The green eyes looking up at him, questioningly, nearly made him smile – what caused the boy to even widen his eyes. Well, apparently there had never been anyone who had smiled at the child.

"We will have to wait now." He said, knowing that he could not provide the boy with any potion or food while the potion was running through the child's system or it would tamper with his calculations.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"There you are, you idiot!" Abraxas' voice got him out of his planning and he frowned, looking over at the picture of Lily and he frowned when he saw Janos kneeling before the young woman's armchair, crying, his face hidden in Lily's lap while the woman's fingers were carding through the black hair – and Abraxas appearing at the left side of the drawing.

"Leave me 'lone, 'braxas." Janos said and he sighed.

"Like you wanted to be left alone every year on February, first?" Abraxas asked and he chuckled at the reminder of Janos, of a living Janos, when he had been a young boy still. "It hasn't worked in the past and it won't work now either. You cannot just send me away, Janos. What did you think, for Merlin's sake! Running away like this and worrying Severus to death!"

"Don't you see it, Abraxas?" Janos asked back without getting up from where he was kneeling in front of his mother. "I'm Harry Bloody Potter! The bane of my own son's existence! The very … he hated me so much, Abraxas … so very much …"

"That was in a future that is not written yet, Harry, child." Lily softly said and he sighed. Lily. So many mistakes had been made and they were mistakes of the future which he couldn't make undone while at the other side, he knew that he didn't have another chance, because Lily's child had to defy Voldemort one day, this had to be done, never mind what.

Some might call him cruel, Severus definitely did, as did Lucius and some of the dead like Lily and Abraxas – even Minerva had changed during the past months, didn't trust him anymore the way she had in the past. But never mind them, he had to regard the entire picture, not only parts of it – and he knew, in the end Harry Potter had to defy Tom Riddle because he was made a horcrux by the dark wizard.

"Just what I always told him, Lily – he won't listen to you more than to me, this bloody, stubborn idiot!" Abraxas growled in his typical Abraxas manner, never someone for false kindness in a situation where he was angry at Janos. "The Severus from your old timeline had hated you – but you have changed this timeline in going back and taking him as your son. The Severus from _this_ timeline here, loves you so deeply and unconditionally – he would never hate you, never mind if you are Harry Bloody Potter, Alastor Blasted Moody or Albus Fucking Dumbledore!"

Well – that had not been nice!

"I do thank you very much for that compliment, Abraxas." He couldn't help chuckling.

"What are you doing here, Albus?" Lily immediately asked, looking over at him and her face now was grim. "These are the private quarters from Janos and Severus. Even their old password is still in tact and their house elf is still caring for these rooms. You have done already enough and you have no right of being here, old man."

"Lily is right, Dumbledore." Abraxas growled at him. "You have no dealings in their private quarters as long as their password is still in place – meaning that it is their home still. You are breaching privacy. Go! Now!"

"I am an old man." He sighed, getting off the chair he had been sitting in. "And I only wanted to remember better times for a moment. My apology for breaching your privacy, Janos."

There was no answer from the young man, but he hadn't expected one.

Janos had once loved him very much, and Janos had once trusted him very much, had even still trusted him upon his last months and weeks of his life. But that had changed over the past nine years, since Harry was born, since Janos had died. The young man had learned a lot of things through Severus or Lucius, through other drawings or through other people, visitors, onlookers – and Janos, the drawing, had lost his trust in him too, a little fact that hurt him even more than anything else because he still loved that young man.

As well as Severus, and Lily, and even Abraxas.

But he couldn't change it, he couldn't disregard what had to be done. He couldn't act upon what he wished, but he had to regard what had to be done for the greater good, and so he sighed and then left the rooms that were empty since so many, many years, which Hogwarts still did not give free, and he knew – he was not to come back, Lily would have an eye on them now, on these rooms.

"Merlin, I didn't see him sitting there!" Abraxas sighed with relief the moment the headmaster had left the rooms, heavily sitting down into another armchair close to the one Lily was sitting in and he reached out to the still so small and thin form of his friend, placing a hand on the bony shoulder. Death had not done any harm to Janos, neither had he gotten a sickly colour, neither green nor grey, nor had he gotten any other ugly things – but it hadn't done any good either and Janos was still a small scarecrow. "If I had said something wrong in his presence, only Merlin knows what would have come out of it."

"Abraxas?" Lily asked, not really understanding.

"Well, he doesn't know that Severus has taken Harry from the Dursleys." Abraxas answered. "And he is not to learn of it ever, at least not before the boy is an adult and out of anyone's grasp. Severus is keeping him safe and your son and mine are planning – and you know what that means, Janos, they'll need help, because if these two are planning things, then it is bound to go badly wrong."

"I …"

"Don't even say it, you idiot!" He growled. "Lily has already told you – all of this has been in the past. Or in the future, that depends on the angle. This Severus here, your son, he loves you so very much and right now he is worrying himself to death, added to all the stress he has with little Harry he has to keep hidden one way or another – oh, and just by the way, your son already has adopted you – sounds strange, doesn't it?" He couldn't help chuckling.

"What has my son gotten into." Lily sighed.

"And your grandson." He laughed. "And now you're great-grandson will be involved too – Merlin, what a mess, really."

"Abraxas is right, Harry." Lily then said, lifting Janos' head. "You cannot worry Severus like this, you have to help him keeping – your younger self safe. You know this better than do I, Harry. You have been the one who once told me to not take any risks with this child as you didn't wish to die in vain. It has taken me until my own death to understand, but now I do – and now I tell you – you have to help Severus keeping my son safe. Go back to him, Harry, so that he has at least one reason less to worry about."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"Harry?" Severus softly asked, narrowing his eyes at the form that was five years old – according to the diagnostic that was running over the boy's head, fixed to the boy's top so that he couldn't see it, even if he looked up, because he knew – Harry would only be scared upon the magic that was displayed. He didn't look any smaller though, younger a bit, the face was a bit softer, even though still angular and bony, and there were less scars – but new bruises and cuts instead.

Well, this had been a constant occurrence for the past few hours, the boy getting younger a bit every hour or every two hours, getting about a year younger, and each time that had happened there had been a few scars disappearing while fresh cuts and bruises had appeared on the pale face, on the thin body, broken bones, and he had forced himself to ignore them, knowing that he only would cause the boy more pain if he cared for them, just to have him injured again in another hour or two.

It would be different if he could give the child a healing potion or if he could apply a healing salve – but he couldn't, and so he only could sit there and watch the child being in pain, hoping that it would be over soon, hoping that it would stop at the correct age before the boy had been with the Dursleys, so that there wouldn't be any injuries left in his final age and so that the horcrux would be never placed within the child.

"Who you, sir?" The boy asked, softly, and he sighed.

Of course the boy had forgotten, like each time he had become younger. Well, each time he had provided the boy with the information, even though he knew that the child would forget it again, but not only could he not leave the child in the blue, but also it was a way to distract the boy from any pain he might feel.

"My name is Severus Snape and I have taken you from your aunt and uncle." He said, sighing. He soon would say these words in his sleep.

"Have to go back." The boy whispered, already starting to get off the sofa and he placed his hand on the small and thin shoulder, keeping him in place, ignoring the scared flinch upon the touch. It wasn't the first time that this particular reaction came during the past few hours.

"You will not go back there." He said, gently but strictly. "You will never go back there. I have taken you from there and you will stay here, living with me as I am your father."

Well, there was no comment to that – but there never was, only the child watching him with large green eyes, clearly considering what might be the meaning of his words, how his future would be enfold and if living with him was better or worse than living with the Dursleys.

"I will never beat you, Harry." He reassured – again – knowing that it was the only thing he could do right now. "I will never lock you away, and I will never keep food from you. You will be perfectly safe here."

"Uncle V'non be mad." The boy whispered, the small body shuddering at alone the thought while green eyes went distant and carefully he increased the pressure his hand had on the small shoulder to get the boy's attention back.

"I do not care about that." He said, trying to keep his anger out of his voice. "He won't find you here, you are far away from him and he won't find you ever. You are perfectly safe from him, he cannot harm you anymore, not ever."

Still there was doubt in those green eyes, doubt that would stay there for some time longer, for at least until the next shift in age.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

He didn't know where he was, nor did he know that man that was kneeling in front of the sofa, but he sounded calm and he looked calm too. Not angry and hateful like uncle Vernon always had when looking at him, clearly wanting to hurt him as much as possible. There was nothing of that in the man's black eyes.

He'd never seen someone with black eyes – but well, he hadn't seen much people anyway.

But they were … he would be able loosing himself in that black eyes that were so calm and so … he didn't know what they were but they were not dangerous like uncle Vernon's blue eyes. He definitely liked those black eyes better, he decided. They were soft and warm, somehow. He'd gotten a teddy bear from Mrs. Figg once, and that teddy bear had had the same black eyes as this man had. But uncle Vernon had taken the teddy bear away and had thrown it into the fireplace. He still remembered how horrible this had been, because he had been so sure that it would hurt the teddy bear.

He wasn't sure that it hadn't still.

And the man's voice wasn't as harsh and as angry as uncle Vernon's voice was either. He wasn't screaming at him, but he was actually speaking gently with him, like uncle Vernon had always spoken to Dudley. He'd always wished that uncle Vernon – or aunt Petunia – would speak to him like that, just once, so that he could use this one time as a dream if – well … but they never had.

But now this man did, and it nearly made him crying, it nearly made him … it made his chest hurting. But not in a bad way. Not like when uncle Vernon had kicked at his chest. That had hurt much, much more, and it had hurt for weeks and weeks! This here was different.

And the man didn't call him freak!

He called him child, or Harry even!

Uncle Vernon had never done that!

If only it were true, and if only he could stay here with that man, if only he wouldn't have to go back to uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia. But he knew that it wasn't, because nothing good could happen to someone freaky like him, who always did bad things. He was a bad freak and bad freaks needed to be punished.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

A gasp from the drawing above the fireplace had him looking up – into just as scared green eyes as the pair that had been watching him from their place at the sofa before the boy had fallen asleep again – only older, and beside Janos Abraxas was smirking down at him.

"Well, I've found your wayward father, Severus." The old man said and he took a deep breath of relief.

"Dad." He softly said. "How … how could you think that I'd be angry with you! Can you imagine how worried I was? I though I wouldn't see you ever again!"

"'m sorry, Severus." The young man in the picture frame said, looking miserable. "I just … how am I to battle my own past? I … I know that you've become a different man than back then, but … I still do have five years full of memories from you in this other timeline … how am I to battle them?"

"You cannot battle them at all, dad." He softly said, only now realizing how difficult all of this had been to his father, only now realizing how … "And I do not ask you to. But … before you do something rash, like running away, maybe you could think of the differences between me in both timelines. I am sorry, dad."

"Oh, child!" Janos sobbed and he was sure that he'd wish nothing more than leaving his frame and coming over to hug him. "It isn't your fault at all, Severus! Don't blame yourself for things that are not in your control."

"If you resist doing the same." He softly answered.

He should have thought of this possibility earlier, he should have thought about his dad's reaction the moment he had – his father as a small child here, the moment he Harry Potter in his house. But he had been so eager taking the boy from the Dursleys, he had been so worried about what condition he might find the child in, and he had been so worried about – about _anything_, he hadn't thought about Janos Amity at that moment.

"Severus?" Abraxas' voice asked and he looked over at the other wizard. "This child here is not nine years old, Severus." The man simply stated, seriously, and he sighed.

"He looks younger than he is because he's so bloody small." He answered, casting a serious – and a nearly accusing glance over at his father. "Because he has been abused and starved for years. But yes, you are correct. This child here is at the moment five years old – and I do hope that he will become younger even until the potion wears off."

"You … you have de-aged me?" His father asked, incredulous, large green eyes looking down at him.

"Of course I have." He softly answered, one hand resting on the child's chest while he looked up at the man that was his father – and now his son too. "I guess you know very well the condition you were in when I found you, dad. And not only do I have to keep you safe from Albus' machineries but from wizarding society too. Not to mention that this way you will have a chance for a normal childhood to begin with."

"But Voldemort …"

"Will be defeated by someone else but not by you, dad." He growled darkly. "There is an entire wizarding world out there with enough adult wizards to fight a madman. I won't allow a child fighting the adults' wars."

"But you don't understand, Severus!" Janos said. "You don't know …"

"I _do_ know about the horcrux, dad." He said, holding his father's green eyes with his own dark ones. "And we will find a different solution if you won't grow young enough for the bloody thing to be gone - any other solution but not you allowing that man to kill you and that is final. I simply won't allow it."

"There is no other way, Severus." His dad whispered.

"That remains to be seen." He answered. "We have many years to find a solution yet and I will not rest until I have found one."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Well, if he had thought that it would be so easy, de-ageing a child, then he had been very wrong indeed – because apparently it was anything but.

Not only that the boy was injured again each time he had reached a new age – no, he also seemed to pause overnight. At least that it was what he hoped, that it only was a pause. He hadn't gotten any younger since he had reached the age of five years and even though he first had intended on not aggravating the new injuries by caring for them, he anyway did so now, knowing that he couldn't leave the child like this for the entire night.

Nor could he leave him without food for only Merlin knew how much longer.

Of course he would have to be careful, the child was still in the process of growing younger and if he had the child eating too much then it would interfere with the potion – not to mention that the boy would become ill, something that would sentence Harry to stay five years old.

Not that it wouldn't be better than nine, they would have gained four years after all, but – this wasn't acceptable still. He was aiming for at least one and a half years.

"Are you hungry, child?" He asked after it was clear that Harry was already – _'trained'_ – well enough by the Dursleys to not ask for any food by himself.

There were green eyes going large for a moment before there was a small and unsure nod, and he breathed a sigh of relief. They had not beaten a positive answer for such a question out of him yet, and that was something he was very glad for, that was promising that if he became even younger – well, maybe he would be able undoing what had been done to the boy by then.

"You stay here, I will get you something to eat." He softly said. "A light – milk cereal – should do, I think."

Well, he had been about to suggest a light soup, but not only was he sure that this would be much more messy than milk cereal but also would the boy most likely be happier with a milk cereal either – not to mention that it would sate the boy better than soup to begin with.

He cast one last glance at the small form on the sofa, hoping that the boy would not leave while he was in the kitchen, but he couldn't just summon a bowl with the milk cereal, he would have a fleeing five year old on his hands then as sure as his name was Severus Snape.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

He still didn't know where exactly he was.

That man had said something about a hoggy with warts – whatever a hoggy was – but that didn't explain where he was to begin with. But he was about to get something to eat! And milk cereal even! He'd never had milk cereal before!

Ignoring the small voice that told him to better _not_ getting his hopes up he watched the door where the man had left behind with large eyes, his mind already imagining a bowl with the milk cereal Dudley had often had, just a bit of it and he would be very, very happy.

His shoulder started burning, but he ignored this as well, because he was about to get milk cereal and maybe, if he complained, then the man would take the food away again, so better not saying anything and ignoring it.

He didn't really understand what had happened – nor what was still happening. He'd been at his aunt and uncle's house in his cupboard laying at his mattress and trying to ignore his burning shoulder, knowing that it wouldn't get any better if he cried over it while he wasn't able keeping from crying anyway and a moment later he had been sitting on this sofa here, in this strange room he'd never before had seen while this man had been sitting nearby, coming close when he'd been there as if he had waited for him.

He hadn't really understood what the man had told him either, and he still didn't understand it, but well – he was about to _get something to eat!_ So, what if he didn't understand it? He didn't think that it might be important, the man would change his opinion and his rules anyway soon enough, like uncle Vernon always did. He'd do what he always did at the Dursleys, he'd deal with it the moment it came, whatever it was, but right now he was about to get something to eat and that was all that right now counted.

At the same time in the kitchen there was one Severus Snape who had just asked Zilly to prepare him a bowl with milk cereal and right now leaning with his hands on the kitchen counter heavily, his head hanging low, asking himself what mess he had stumbled into now.

He had finally had his father at a point where he had accepted his decision to not only take Harry as his son but to de-age him too – something that he had feared, that his dad would not accept it, but he had and after that they had talked for a while, while the boy had been sleeping until his next step of de-ageing – that had not come, but the the child waking with the age of five still.

Of course he should have prepared the man and he had told him so, had apologized – but again, just like for all those years in his childhood, Janos Amity had waved it off, had told him that it was alright, that he surely had more and severe things at his hands right now than preparing him, his father, what was to come or not to come and he had sighed. It only had showed him that still, after all those years, the man still didn't think of himself, never thought of himself.

But he had known that, since he had been a small child had he known that.

**Flashback**

_"Dad?" He asked when his father reached him a plate – a pancake filled with hash. _

_"Hmm?" The man asked, placing the plate in front of him when he didn't take it. _

_"But – that's yours." He said. "I've had mine for lunch and you hadn't. That's yours."_

_"I'm not really hungry and you love them, Severus." His father said, looking at him seriously. "So why should it go rotten? Just eat."_

_"Are you sure?" He asked. "You still could eat it tonight."_

_"Sure I'm sure." His dad chuckled and he shook his head at the older wizard's antics. _

_"Ok, thanks, dad." He happily said, pulling the plate close and starting on the pancake, savouring that delicious piece of food._

**End flashback**

He still remembered how his father had watched him eating that pancake. It had not been a longing gaze, even though he knew that his father had loved filled pancakes too. Nor had it been an unhappy gaze or a sad gaze in any form – no, it had been a happy gaze. His father had been sitting there at the table, really happy about having made him, Severus, his son, happy and he had been there, watching, smiling, and savouring having done him some good.

Yes, that had been his dad, that had been Janos Amity, a boy that had never gotten anything for himself, a boy that had never gotten what he wanted – and the moment he could have taken all that he wanted finally, he had not done so but had been content with making his son happy by giving him what _he_ had never had.

"Master Severus." Zilly softly announced and he looked over at the small creature. The house elf stood there, with a small bowl of milk cereal in his hands and the dark eyes that watched him clearly said – _'don't worry, it will work out well'_.

"Thank you, Zilly." He softly answered, not wanting the boy in the parlour to hear him, nor sure if the thanked the little elf for the bowl of milk cereal or for the unspoken words of comfort. "And already I have to apologize for needing you more in near future."

"Master Severus should know that Zilly is happy to help." Zilly answered seriously, nearly disappointed as if having been accused of something. "Zilly has helped Master Janos and now he will help Master Severus."

"Thank you." Was all he answered before taking the bowl, sighing, and then going back to the parlour where – his son was sitting. His son, that was a rather strange wording which he had not gotten used to by now.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"I do know that you must be hungry, child." He said, seriously, softly, while reaching the bowl with the milk cereal towards the boy on the sofa. "I do ask you to eat slowly anyway or you risk your stomach cramping. You will get more if you are still hungry after that."

Well, he normally would insist on the boy eating on the table in the dinning room, on the kitchen table, but he didn't want the boy moving around too much, not only because of any more injury he might have sustained lately but also because he knew – any activity could interfere with the potion and there were already enough little things that were interfering right now. At least he saw the fifteen month he wanted the child to become going down the hill and in his mind he already was calculating anew.

Of course he couldn't give a second dose of the potion, that was impossible and would only cause harm than doing any good, but he wanted at least an overview of about how old the child might become in the end – and as it looked right now, he guessed it would be between eighteen and twenty months, in other words – the horcrux would be there still.

That wasn't the worst problem however.

They would find a way to deal with that, one way or another – no, the much worse problem was that, the older the boy was, the more he would have been abused by his relatives already and _that_, he couldn't change.

The small wizard in front of him slowly reached out to take the bowl he was reaching at him, slowly and carefully, unsurely, as if he feared he would take the bowl away before he held it in his hands – while the moment the small fingers actually _held_ the bowl the boy pulled it close quickly and tightly, holding it against his chest as if he feared he'd take it away again, holding the bowl with one arm tightly to his chest as if physically defending the food that was given to him and he knew the sign – the child had already been starved at the age of five, and long enough to having learned – food was something that was not only rarely given but that was to be defended also and his eyes darkened at that realization, that a five year old child already was to defend the spare food he was given.

But well – he should have known that already, seeing that the child was as small and as thin as a three year old at the best but surely not a five year old.

"Severus?" Lucius' voice came from the doorway and for another moment he was glad, this time that the blond had not come through the fireplace but through the entrance door – Merlin, that would have been a mess.

"Good evening, Lucius." He softly said, hoping that the child wouldn't be too startled. "I do thank you for finding my father, my dear friend." He then added, knowing that he had to show the child – it was a friend and no harm would befall anyone.

"Not for that, Severus, my friend, not for that." Lucius said, slowly coming closer and then sitting down into the armchair farthest away from the sofa where the child was sitting at. Well – again, the Malfoy heir seemed to know what to do in front of a scared child and he was thankful for it.

"This, Harry, is Lucius Malfoy." He softly introduced Lucius to the boy. "A friend in this house and a well seen guest, one of the few that are allowed to come and go to his discretion."

There was no answer from the boy that just cradled the bowl closer to his chest, slightly turning in his place so that his body was nearly between the blond and his bowl, causing Lucius to chuckle lightly.

"Don't worry, little one, I surely won't take your – milk cereal away." The Malfoy patriarch said and he huffed at the man. "I don't even like it, I prefer a piece of well done steak."

Still there was no answer, but the child seemed to relax a bit while starting to eat again and he halfway watched the slow and trembling movements of a tired and exhausted child, of an injured child that fed himself with unsure movements, with scared movements while they at the same time said – eat as much as you can while you can.

"Narcissa has asked me to bring a box with a few things Severus." Lucius said, smiling, and inwardly he groaned, knowing that if Narcissa had gathered a – _'few things'_ – then he would be able filling two rooms with baby furniture, baby clothes and other baby things.

"A box." He said while already going through the diagnostic he secretly had cast at the boy earlier. "I just wonder how large that box is, your dear wife has sent you with. Knowing her, it is a box as large as is my living-room table."

Well, he would just put the boy to sleep after he had eaten and then he would care for the injuries, hoping that it would be enough until the next step of the de-ageing while at the same time he wondered – why was the potion taking a pause anyway? It wasn't normal for such a potion to work by instalments. On the other hand – there were few records on that particular potion as it was rarely used.

"I've put it in your entrance hall, Severus." Lucius answered his question. "But let me just say, it will get you through the first weeks so that you can concentrate on your son here, instead of having to worry about anything else."

"Again, I do thank you, Lucius." He sighed, his eyes on the child that was starting to eat slower now, the fight between stopping before he would get ill and eating as much as possible for the lack of knowledge about any next meal clearly in the boy's green eyes, in Janos' green eyes and he remembered the memory he had seen just a few days ago – Janos Amity, his father, hoarding rotten bread in his kitchen cupboard because he didn't know if he'd need it one day.

Never ever again, he silently swore.

He would make sure that such a thing repeated itself never ever again, neither with this child nor with any other child he knew about.

He most likely wouldn't be able changing this little scarecrow, but by the end of the day he at least knew that it would become better, by the end of the day he at least knew that something good would come out of the fact that his father, that Janos Amity, had allowed him, Severus, to become a Potions Master instead of meddling with the lines of time because he'd had bad memories of Severus Snape being a Potions Master. Maybe this was the reward for the young man, for doing good in his timeline – and now he, Severus Snape, he would make sure that this chance of reward, that this chance of something being good, that it would not be merely smoke and mirrors.

By the end of the day – he again knew what had to be done while he put the halfway empty bowl of milk cereal at the parlour table after the child had fallen asleep, while he halfway covered the child with a blanket from the backrest of the sofa, while he started covering cuts and welts with a layer of salve again.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_How well does a potion work under unknown circumstances and how will you deal with the outcome of a new situation?_

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

519 Points - Slytherin

512 Points - Ravenclaw

454 Points - Gryffindor

218 Points - Hufflepuff


	15. and so I'm moving on

**Title:**

By the end of the day

**Author:**

evil minded

**Date:**

July, 07th 2012

**Timeframe:**

August 1963 to September 1991

**Summary:**

AU / A person dies and another one is born, a person disappears while another one appears someplace else, fate is handing out the cards and you don't know if it will be for the better or the worse – life simply unfolds itself …

What happens in our lives shapes our personality. What if we got a chance to go back and to change the lives of the ones we hold dear? Would we really be able to change things for the better? Would we really be able to deceive fate?

Thank you for reading …

**Disclaimer: **

Well … I do not own Harry Potter, nor Hogwarts, his friends or his belongings … J. K. Rowling owns them all … I just borrow them a bit …

Uhm … and well … sorry for the confusion I create at Hogwarts … I am sure I can straighten it after I am done with this … I at least promise to try …

**Rating:**

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16

**Author's Notes:**

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

**Added Author's Note:**

In this chapter I have built in a memory and for the lack of any other idea, as flashbacks are already written in italic, I have placed following sign '~' before each change of scenery – I hope it is presented clearly enough … thanks …

**Warning:**

Story contains references to child abuse.

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution …

I only say – remind yourself of your feelings, of your sympathy, and of your understanding … and handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

What does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**Previously in By the end of the day**

_Never ever again, he silently swore. _

_He would make sure that such a thing repeated itself never ever again, neither with this child nor with any other child he knew about. _

_He most likely wouldn't be able changing this little scarecrow, but by the end of the day he at least knew that it would become better, by the end of the day he at least knew that something good would come out of the fact that his father, that Janos Amity, had allowed him, Severus, to become a Potions Master instead of meddling with the lines of time. Maybe this was the reward for him for doing good in his timeline – and now he, Severus Snape, he would make sure that this chance of reward, that this chance of something being good, that it would not be merely smoke and mirrors._

_By the end of the day – he again knew what had to be done while he put the halfway empty bowl of milk cereals at the parlour table after the child had fallen asleep, while he halfway covered the child with a blanket from the backrest of the sofa, while he started cleaning out cuts again. _

**By the end of the day**

**Chapter fifteen**

**And so I'm moving on **

**August, 2nd 1989 – Malfoy Mansion – 07:21 am**

'_Potter, Harry,_

_If you are reading this, then it means that I have failed to live through the war, and someone has found these last missives amongst my belongings. Along with the three scrolls, there should also be a picture frame, and a small black, leather-bound book. If you have seen these, then there will be no doubt that you have figured out who the person in the picture is, and who the book must belong to. These two things I am leaving to you, as they should rightfully belong to Lily's son and no one stranger._

_I suppose you could call these letters my last will and testament, though that was not my intention when I began writing. The real purpose of this letter is simple – I write to you in the days before my impending death to apologize, Harry._

_Your mother was my dearest friend, and the only thing that kept me sane for most of my Hogwarts years – while your father was the bane of my existence, and the reason for my cruel attitude towards you. In a foolish attempt to distance myself from the reminders of Lily, and an irrational fit of revenge, I treated you like a filthy criminal – I hated you out of ill will for someone who was long dead, and grief for another. I blamed you for your mother's death for years, while in honesty, it was my fault all along._

_You're more like Lily than I think anyone has been willing to see Though you may mostly look like your father, your personality is much closer to that of Lily's and it is cruel that I was unable to show you this and now I write these things with a heavy heart, knowing I should have said them when I was still alive, and you were still an innocent child. However, as you have recognized already, and quite passionately so, I am a coward, and no match for your Gryffindor bravery._

_You not only have your mother's eyes, what surely you have heard more than once over the years, but you also have her smile, her kindness and her sharp wit – her gentle will, what made it all the more difficult to hate you over the years, and yet – again I have been unable to approach you for an adequate apology._

_I am deeply sorry, Harry, for what little – if any – it may be worth._

_The way I treated you, and the hate I transferred from your father to you, was a foolish mistake, and I can only hope that my sacrificing my life for you will redeem me a little in your eyes. An old man knows not his mistakes until it is too late. I'm sure you can understand this concept, as Dumbledore was your mentor as well as mine. My deepest sympathy for my actions towards you could never be properly conveyed in a simple letter, so I only can ask you to forgive a foolish man for his stupid mistakes._

_I leave to Harry James Potter my cottage at Muir of Ord, and my extensive collection of defence books. _

_As an expert on it, I know grudges can be held for years and years, even for as long as you live, but I offer now this advice to you; though I may not deserve your forgiveness, it is not healthy to live with a grudge so firmly placed against a dead man. It will weigh you down, tear you apart, and never let you go, if you do not first let it go yourself._

_Please be safe, Harry. I write this letter under the assumption that you've already defeated the Dark Lord, and perhaps it has been so long that you may have your own family now. I wish you the best in life, and urge you to live free and open-minded; something I failed to do myself._

_Yours truly and honestly apologetically,_

_Severus Tobias Snape'_

Merlin!

No, he didn't have to wonder anymore why his father had gone back in time to take him as your son.

He had not reached the end of the journal he had started reading years ago already, there were still – he didn't know how many hundred pages left. No, but the letter that had been tucked safely to the end of the journal, the letter his dad had mentioned before already, it had fallen out of the black, leather-bound book and – he hadn't been able to resist reading it.

He had been shocked to find his own words, in his own handwriting, with ink he clearly recognized as his own – words of a man dead, and yet – his own words.

He was glad that in the end he had apologized – it didn't make the creepy feeling any better however.

Looking over at the sleeping five year old he sighed.

This boy, the young man he would become, had gone back in time to safe a person who had hated him – and that was so much more a noble act than anything else. That had been Janos Amity.

While watching the child he had laying on the sofa, and while thinking back at what he knew from his father, all the scars and injuries, all the starvation and other bad things, being locked away, no one caring for him – he wondered where Harry Potter, the Harry Potter from this other timeline, had learned all of that from, his manners and his nobility, his way of doing good, his way of always helping. He'd had no people who had been a guide in that after all – not the Dursleys and surely not Dumbledore who had made enough mistakes.

And yet, as Harry Potter had forgiven him, Severus Snape for his mistakes, Janos Amity had forgiven Albus Dumbledore for his mistakes as well, this foolish boy, this utterly idiot and foolish boy, always thinking at others before himself – and yet, had he not done that, then he, Severus, would not be here, living as a happy man, because the letter he had been reading had been anything than written by a happy man.

Sighing he reached out his hand to brush a strand of black hair from the pale young face.

The boy was still five years old, even though he looked barely three, and it was early morning the next day. Did this mean that the child wouldn't grow younger? Did this mean that he would stay five years old? It was not a thought that sat well with him, but he knew, if so, then he couldn't change it anyway, he would have to take it the way it happened.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Frowning Augusta Longbottom took a sip of her tea, going over the words in her mind while watching the waiter absent mindedly, not altogether pleased with the young woman's appearance, wearing too small stockings and her skirt was too short too, while her smile was a bit too open for her liking – but well …

"And how old is the boy, you say, Belladonna?" She asked, her gaze back at the woman opposite her.

"I'm not sure, Augusta, but from what I heard he's really small still, about two years maybe, surely not older than three." The woman called Belladonna answered, one of Augusta's closer friends. They were currently sitting in drip, sip and dip, the side-café in Diagon Alley as she didn't wish being the content of newest gossip throughout wizarding London after sitting in Florean Fortescue's.

It had been just a few weeks ago that Severus Snape had visited her at the Longbottom Mansion, not only telling her interesting things but – actually giving her a good warning.

**Flashback**

_"You should have a close eye on your grandson, Madam Longbottom, and Albus' interests in him." Severus said, his dark voice sounding serious and even though some didn't like the Potions Master too much due to his sarcasm – she always had respected the young man as she had respected Janos Amity, Severus' father. _

_"How so, Professor Snape?" She asked. "I have sole custody over the boy after my son and his wife are at St. Mungos and I don't see how Albus could have any kind of interest in Neville."_

_"Surely not openly, Madam Longbottom." Severus said and he lifted her eyebrow at the young professor. "But surely you are aware of the little fact that your grandson's birthday falls on the same day as Harry Potter's, who so far is marked as 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'. The Prophecy speaks of a child born as the seventh month dies – the end of July – as well as being born to those who have thrice defied him. Both premises apply to your grandson as well as to Harry Potter and even though the Dark Lord might have marked Harry Potter as the one with the power to vanquish him, Albus Dumbledore is a meddling old coot who surely would like having a contingency plan in his hands, and preferably behind his back where no one can see it."_

_"What exactly are you implying, Professor Snape?" She asked, not really liking the thoughts forming in her mind. _

_"Should something happen to The-Boy-Who-Lived, then I am sure that Albus Dumbledore will concentrate on your grandson, Madam Longbottom." The man said and as she knew that young Severus was as intelligent as Janos Amity had been, she did regard his worries. "Not to mention that – I fear that Albus will use those children for his war against the Dark Lord instead of dirtying his own hands."_

_"Surely the headmaster of Hogwarts would not do such a crime, Severus." She shook her head. "I can understand your worries regarding my grandson as it sounds logically and as – yes, I do know Albus, he is a meddling old coot – but I cannot believe that he would abuse his powers so very badly, using children he is entrusted with in a war."_

_"He already has done that, Madam, in the future he already has done it and he will do it again, in the future." Severus said, seriously, not in the slightest sounding barmy and she couldn't help remembering how strange Janos Amity had been sometimes, as if coming from a different time, knowing things he was not to know. "Many children will die in this war, students of Hogwarts, young grandson amongst them. Do not allow such a thing happening a second time."_

**End flashback**

And with those words the young professor had left the parlour, had left the mansion, had been gone and leaving her behind, thinking.

She was a Gryffindor through and through, but she was old enough to be just as sly as one Severus Snape or any other Slytherin was, in other words – she knew that the young Potions Master could be correct as she actually knew Albus Dumbledore. The man had sacrificed his own sister after all, for the greater good and he had done horrible things with Grindelwald in the past.

Yes, yes, he had changed, or at least he had claimed that he had changed, but honestly – she knew that Dumbledore could be ruthless still. She just hadn't thought that he actually could abuse his power and misuse the children under his care as headmaster of a wizarding boarding school.

But while thinking over it …

However, if the child was two or three years old, then no, then it couldn't be Harry Potter, because the boy had to be nine years old now.

But who was the child then?

Severus Snape had sounded rather upset, and seeing that … but well, that was neither here nor there. The boy the Potions Master had claimed as his was apparently the child sired by him and born to a witch from the Black family, not a child mentioned in a prophecy.

"I'd really like seeing that, you know, Severus Snape of all people with a two year old child." Belladonna nearly squealed and she shook her head at the excitement the other woman displayed as if she were a young chicken. "That has to look cute surely."

"It might." She sighed, mentally already going through her attic and the boxes up there. "But surely not more than any other young father would look with his child. I don't see why one would become all excited over such a thing."

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

The boy was awake meanwhile and – except of having had a panic attack because he had been sleeping too long – he had not moved an inch on the sofa. He hadn't moved much last night either, or yesterday since he had stopped growing younger and had become the five year old child. He was still and quiet – something he wasn't used to when it came to his dad.

Janos Amity had always been moving, somehow.

He could remember that the man even had been moving while sitting on the sofa, reading a book, that he had been moving his legs, swinging them back and forth or bobbing with his knees, that he had been rocking with his upper body or that he had moved his hands or fingers – but one body-part of him or another had always been in motion, often the young man pacing the parlour or the kitchen, the hallos or wandering through the gardens for hours, swimming in the lake or climbing the wall – he'd been a live wire and after his energy had been locked away for years with his relatives where he'd been locked in a cupboard, it had needed an outlet desperately in later years. And surely he didn't dare imagining how hard it must have been for the child being locked away, having no outlet for his excessive energy at all.

Seeing this child so still now, with the knowledge that this child was his father actually, it was unnerving, it was startling, and it was scaring him, because he didn't dare imagining how it looked within the child – it had to be a storm raging and for the five year old to control it, it only spoke of the fear he had already learned by the hands of the Dursleys.

**Flashback**

_"What's he up to now?" Lucius asked, frowning while they watched his dad searching through the parlour, through his study, through his halls and he shook his head._

_"Looks as if he's up to climbing a more dangerous route." He frowned himself when his dad came back with a rope and a carabiner, throwing both at the floor near the entrance. "Or he wouldn't gather his safety equipment as the wall by the lake he's climbing without."_

_"You know, your dad is really strange, why would he do such a thing? He's a wizard!" Lucius asked and he shrugged his shoulders._

_"It's fun." He said. "He's taking me to the mountains from time to time and it's really fun. I just don't like it if he's taking the dangerous routes without someone to cover his ass."_

_"I heard that, young man." His dad, emerging from yet another room with a climbing harness, said and he rolled his eyes. "I am capable of belaying myself, Severus, stop worrying. You know what to do if you need anything?"_

_"Sure, I'll ask Abraxas or Albus, or Minerva or Poppy, not that Zilly wouldn't be here, dad!" He sighed, annoyed at the over protectiveness his father showed – again. _

_"Are you sure that you won't come, Severus?" His dad asked and he shook his head._

_"I am." He answered. "I really prefer having a nice time with Lucius than climbing only Merlin knows how many rocks with you, I'd have the worst muscle aches tonight."_

_"Are you sure that I shouldn't just stay here?" His dad then asked and he couldn't help smiling happily, not because he wanted his dad here, he was fourteen after all and old enough to be on his own with Zilly for an afternoon, but because his father thought about him first._

_"And annoy me the entire day?" He asked, giving his dad the 'large-eye-look'. "Please don't, I'd like having a free afternoon for once, doing things I can't do while you're around."_

_"You are aware that I'll be back in the evening, learning of what you've done?" His father asked and he smiled._

_"Sure." Was all he answered and with a "we're at the lake" he pulled Lucius with him._

_"I told you, your dad's strange." Lucius shook his head the moment they had left the house safely. "I mean, really strange, he has never ending energy that keeps him from sitting still for just a moment. Dad says that one wouldn't be able hexing your dad because he's always moving, never standing still for just a second."_

_"That's because he's drinking coffee all the time instead of tea, he says the caffeine keeps him going, he'd fall asleep if he didn't drink it, and he'd be all tired."_

_"I'm not sure." Lucius said, sprawling in the sand. "I've heard of some muggle drugs that cause people to act overdrive and to do really strange things and to not regard safety either, just like your dad."_

_"Nope, he's definitely not taking any muggle drugs." He said, sprawling just beside his blond friend in the sand. "He's just like that, he's born that way. At least, that's what I think."_

_"Impossible." Lucius said, turning to his side and leaning on his elbow, watching him. "No one can be that energetic all the time without going insane."_

_"It is, he's just like that, and he's always been since I can remember." He said, shrugging his shoulders._

_"Stop this, just leave me to pretend that it's something that will pass."_

_"After so many years?" He laughed at Lucius' silliness. "Forget it, he won't change ever."_

_"And there I had hope." Lucius lay back with a suffering sigh. "You know, your dad will be driving my dad insane one day."_

_"Sure, but don't pretend that your dad is better than mine." He chuckled. "Yours is all sappy and emotional, and he has an eye on my dad."_

_"What the __…" Lucius spluttered, sitting up, coughing. _

_"Don't say you haven't noticed." He said, huffing. "You're older than me and you have to have noticed that."_

**End flashback**

Well, yes – Lucius had huffed at him, but he had admitted that, yes, he had noticed, of course. After that he had told him to better not tell their fathers as Janos had not noticed Abraxas' interest at all and was unaware of the Malfoy head of house's gazes.

And Janos Amity had never learned of it, in all those years that had come, had never noticed the longing and soft gazes Abraxas had thrown at him, nor the closeness and the gentle touches, not even upon his end and Abraxas had been devasted upon Janos' death, as devasted as he, Severus, had been.

But well, he'd been at least correct in one thing – his dad had been full of energy until his end, even throughout his last weeks he'd been as energetic as humanly possible while being as weak as he'd been, again his energy being – trapped, somehow, for the lack of a better word, this time by his weakness and not within a cupboard.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

He knew that he man definitely waited for something, but he didn't know what exactly he was waiting for and that was making him all gibby and wobby.

Well, he knew meanwhile that the man was a wofessor, and that was an important thing. Uncle Vernon knew a wofessor, and he'd said that he was important even though he didn't understand why but the man looked important too – and no bit as mean as uncle Vernon.

He sure didn't know what a wofessor was doing, he didn't even know what a wofessor was, but this one was giving him something to eat, and he'd let him sleeping on the sofa, not on the floor in a cupboard. That's been really nice.

He didn't know though what to think of the man.

He did look very stern and very dark too, but not hateful like uncle Vernon did, rather worried, like aunt Petunia did when Dudley had fallen. But he hadn't fallen and he didn't understand why the man was looking at him like that. And nor did he know what he was waiting for.

For a moment he'd been sure that he knew what the man was waiting for. It had been yesterday evening when he'd hestated taking the bowl with the milk cereal, not sure if he really could dare taking it, not sure if it wouldn't be taken away then like with uncle Vernon, not sure if the man wouldn't strike him for taking it. Then he had clearly looked as if he waited for him to finally take the bowl. And this morning too, when he'd woken and then the man had brought him another bowl with milk cereal. Then too he'd looked at him, waiting for him to take the bowl, but surely that couldn't count for that what the man was waiting for without any bowl being there.

He was looking at him expetanty even though there was nothing to wait for.

Blinking he looked at where he was, trying to memember what he had been thinking at but he couldn't. He immediately knew that he wasn't in his cupboard anymore and a moment later there was a man, but it wasn't uncle Vernon and he tried to make himself smaller as he was because he knew that surely that couldn't be too good, a man he didn't know being wherever he was.

"Harry?" The man asked and he gasped. He knew that name, he'd heard it before, but he wasn't sure where.

Nor was he sure what that man would do with him – or where he was.

For a moment he wondered if he should ask, but he'd pretty soon learned to not ask anythin' …

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

Three.

According to the diagnostic the child was three years old. He did look like a year or one and a half years at the most but surely not like three. He didn't even look as if being two. So – already back then the child had been starved enough so that his growth had been affected.

For a moment he wondered why the child would grow back in a two year step instead of an one year step like before, but seeing that he hadn't been growing younger for more than twelve hours now at all – he was glad for what he got and even if the child would remain three now – it was better than the five years.

"Harry?" He asked, trying to make out what was written on the diagnostic while at the same time trying to keep his eyes on the child too.

There were a few injuries only, a sore back, a few bleeding cuts and a sore behind. A broken wrist and two broken ribs but apart from several bruises there was nothing else – except of the starvation of course – and so the child was in a clearly better condition than what he had feared, what he was very glad for.

Of course he knew that the physical abuse surely had left an immense impact on the child, something that was not to be underestimated, but at least there was hope. And if he remained three – he was small enough so no one would ask awkward questions, at least not in the beginning and later on people would get used to. So – theoretically, there was nothing to be worried over.

Practically however things did look a bit different, because practically there was always one or another who would notice, and who would ask one or another question – but well, he would deal with that the moment it came up. And maybe the child would grow back to fifteen or eighteen months like he had planned it for the boy, then everything would be alright.

Knowing that it was a dangerous step, he slowly came closer to the child.

If Harry was to grow younger, then he wasn't to do much that could interfere with the potion – never mind if it were healing potions or spells, or nutrient in any form – he already had risked enough on that, and he knew that. If however the boy would stay in this age, what could be quite a possibility, then he would destroy much of the child's future trust if he didn't do anything right now.

Sure – if he grew younger as he had planned it, then it wouldn't be a problem as the child would forget upon his next _'de-growth spurt'_, for the lack of a better word, but that didn't mean he should risk it, as the child wouldn't forget if there wouldn't be another spurt at all.

So – he had to regard the possibility of the boy staying his age now and so he had to take the risk of stopping the de-ageing at all due to his actions.

"I suggest we get you clean, Harry." He softly said, trying to sound calm and collected while inwardly he was rather nervous and unsure, realizing that his father must have felt similar back then. And Merlin, if his dad had managed, then surely he would too? He was several years older after all as his dad had been.

"I promise, it won't hurt, I won't even put you in a bathtub but simply wash you, alright?" Well – if he had thought that this reassurance would help him in squashing the child's fearful green eyes, then he had been very wrong indeed.

Knowing that surely he couldn't startle the boy with something like summoning a bowl with water, some of his cleaning additives or a wash-clothe, he cast a stern gaze at the small child, one he would cast at his Slytherin first years, one that made clear – he wouldn't hurt the child, but that the boy better didn't leave the spot were he was sitting at the sofa right now while he was gone.

"I will be back in a moment, Harry." He sternly said. "Wait here."

And with these words he went into the kitchen where he reached for a bowl, filled it with water that warmed upon a wave of his wand and a spell that would keep the water warm. He summoned a few of his potions, a cleaning potion that would keep the water clean, never mind how much dirt he washed from the child, and a few healing and disinfectant potions. None the boy would have to ingest for now, but potions which he could use externally. Anything else he would deal with when it arrived and with a hidden spell.

He took a washcloth and then left the kitchen, went back through the hallway and into the spacious and rather comfortable living room where, just like he had expected, the boy was still sitting on the sofa, having not dared moving a muscle even.

He placed his load on the tea table and then sat down onto that furniture himself, knowing that this way he could take better care of the child, suddenly realizing why his father had always been sitting at the living room table upon taking care of one or another scratch he had come home with.

Slowly he reached out and took the sleeve of the boy's shirt, carefully pulling it off the child's arm, scared himself that he accidentally might break the thin stick before he repeated the same with the other sleeve and then pulled the shirt over Harry's head. And yes, the diagnostic had already showed him that there were injuries – and yes, there were less than he had feared, anyway did it look grotesque and he took a deep breath to calm himself and keep from growling angrily at the thin and battered body of a near toddler.

He added one of the cleaning potions to the warm water before he wet the washcloth and then ran it over the pale face of the boy that had become his son.

Said boy was sitting there, stock-still, holding his breath whenever he came close with the clothe, squeezing his eyes shut just moment before the warm clothe touched his soft baby-skin and he held them shut until it was clear – the clothe was gone, was not touching him anymore while it was dunked into the water, until it came close again, as if the thing would bite the child or something like that.

He then ran the cloth over the thin neck, sighing when he again found marks from an adult's hand on the delicate neck already. He continued with the bony shoulders, with the thin chest and the fragile back before he cleaned two thin sticks that were the child's arms.

Not going as far as having the boy's lower body undressed he rather started with healing the bruises and cuts, using healing potions he applied to the injuries, covering them with healing salves or casting wandless and silent spells at those who were too severe for the potion or salve.

All the while the boy was sitting there, watching him closely and he was sure – one wrong movement from him and the child would be gone, most likely for him to search the manor and he frowned. If the child fled the house, then he practically could go anywhere and closing his eyes he concentrated on his front door and the window, locking them so that never mind what – little Harry wouldn't be able leaving the house encase of a panic attack.

He knew that Lucius would get in, never mind what, but he knew that no one else would be able getting in also and well – it had taken them nearly a year to change the wards so that the blond would get into the manor, never mind what, never mind which wards he activated and never mind which doors he locked.

Yes, his dad had really been a paranoid wizard.

On the other hand, there had always been one person whom he had allowed getting through all his wards – Abraxas. Janos had trusted Abraxas unconditionally, more than Albus, Minerva or anyone else. Like he now trusted Lucius unconditionally. For a moment he wondered if he had trusted Lucius in his old timeline the way he did now, but considering that he'd been a spy there, considering that he'd been … no, he didn't think that this other Severus Snape had trusted anyone, a sad thing, an unhealthy thing and he didn't dare wondering how this other Severus must have felt. Another thing his father had made good when he had come to get him away.

And all because of a letter.

What had made him apologizing in the end? He didn't know. But he was glad that he had done so. He wasn't sure if Harry Potter would have gone back in time to safe him, if he hadn't, without that letter his other self had written him. He didn't know it and – again – he only could thank fate.

'It wasn't fate, Severus, but you.' A soft voice that strangely sounded of that from his father murmured. 'It is the decisions we make in life that change things, and in the end you have done the right thing, in the end you have gone a hard way, apologizing to a teen that had annoyed the living hell out of you – it was you, how made that decisions, not fate.'

"Thanks." He murmured.

The boy sitting in front of him looked at him with large eyes, not understanding and he chuckled for a moment, ignoring the little fact that the child surely must think him barney, talking to himself.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

"Why don't you try and sleep for a while, Harry?" He asked.

He'd done what was possible without too much magic, had added a pain reliever and a calming draught to the breakfast he'd given the boy earlier in the morning, had cleaned the child and he had applied disinfectants and healing salves at the injuries. He had then tried talking with the boy a bit, trying to find out where exactly the child was standing, what had happened around the child lately, what little Harry – his son – was thinking, feeling, whatever – but it had been in vain. The child already had learned to better keep his mouth shut around an adult or it could get painful.

Of course he had tried to reassure the child that he was allowed to speak, hoping that he hadn't learned this particular lesson long ago but recently only, hoping that it could be undone quickly – but he had been unsuccessful in this. So he had simply talked to the boy, explaining him where he was, who he was, telling him that he was his son and telling him that – he would be safe, for the umpteenth time.

He guessed that the de-ageing process was going slower now, that because of this there were several hours between the sole steps, and he was glad for that, because it surely meant that they came to the end of the entire process, with one step only left, hopefully, one, that would get the child back to being one and a half years. He right now didn't even care anymore about little Harry becoming fifteen months or slightly younger so that the horcrux was gone – he just hoped that the child would become a bit younger than the three he was right now since this morning, anything than overstepping the line of his birth.

But well – coming back to his question – the boy had obediently lain down on the sofa, curled into a small and tight ball, his back turned towards the backrest, his eyes closed tightly – but far away from sleeping, very far away, the entire small body, face and fists cramped with clear fear.

Sighing he left for the hallway where Lucius had left the box with the baby things Narcissa had sent him over with. Maybe he would find something – anything – in there that would help, and he carried the box into the living room.

Opening the box he saw, at the top, laying a pacifier, a small, little pacifier that surely wouldn't fit for a new born baby's mouth and clearly not for a three year old, not to mention that – did a three year old need a pacifier to begin with?

He clearly did need napkins still as he'd been wearing one.

Well, taking it from the box he was glad that – the moment he touched it, it grew into a simple baby pacifier before it had reached the rim of the box, before the child would see the magic done. He was just about to put it aside – his son surely would not get a pacifier from him! It only would be trouble later, getting the boy to giving it up the moment he had gotten used to it – but then he saw the near-toddler's large green eyes, longing eyes, as if he had never had such a bloody thing like a pacifier – and with a hidden spell he sanitized the bloody thing and then reached it over at the child.

There were green eyes going larger even, eyes that never left the bloody thing, but then the boy took it with trembling, little fingers.

Sighing with defeat he turned back to the box and started rummaging again, careful to not grasp for the tiny baby bed that would grow into a real one, startling the boy only. He pulled out a blanket that seemed strangely known to him and – with a gasp he recognized the one that he had gotten from his dad when he'd been small.

He'd given it to Narcissa when she'd been pregnant with Draco, about ten years ago, and now the woman gave it back to him – and his son.

'_August 14__th__, 1963_

_I've been to Diagon Alley today. The first time that I'm there on my own, not buying school things, but things for little Severus. Last time I've been there has been summer before fifth year and I've been there with Ron and Hermione, and with a guard. Moody has been there, and Remus, and Mrs. Weasley. Even Snape has been there, secretly, guarding us from the perspective of Death Eaters. I know, because I have seen him. _

_At first I've thought that he'd been there by accident only, and later on, when the attack started, I thought that he even was on their side, despite my knowledge that he's been a spy. Maybe I've mistrusted him so very much that I easily saw the bad in him, that I wanted to see the bad in him, even though it wasn't there. But then I saw him sending hexes – in our direction, but always slightly to one side or another, his wand being held in a strange angle – and hitting Death Eaters._

_I've been startled at first, but then – I'd surely be dead if it hadn't been for him, and all the others surely were dead too, or at least most of them. And only later did I realize what risk he had taken with his actions. If he had been found out, he'd be dead. He wouldn't have survived Voldemort finding out that he was a spy who had killed his people, and Voldemort surely wouldn't have killed Snape quickly. He would have made a torturing party of it. _

_I have never thanked him for that._

_We've come back to Hogwarts, the first potions lessons in the year had been even worse than they always had been so far, and then occlumency lessons had started shortly after, which had – kind of – deepened the cleft between them and what had been animosity, became hate. _

_However – little Severus has nothing but the clothes he's worn when I took him from Spinner's End and the few clothes Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall have come with and so I took him to Diagon Alley. _

_I've bought him a baby blanket, but I haven't given it to him before he went to bed. I feared he wouldn't like it, that he would feel too old for a baby blanket. Dunno at which age a child won't need a baby blanket anymore, but I've never had one and so – why not? _

_But well, my fears had been for nothing, because when I gave him the blanket the moment he's gone to bed, he nearly cried with happiness. And now he's sleeping, cuddling the thing tightly, and I'm sure, I wouldn't be able taking it away without waking him._

_Snape has more than once saved my backside, even though he hated me – maybe it was because of that, that I have always seen him as a great man. If only he hadn't been so mean, then I easily could have imagined him as a father, secretly. _

_But well – never mind what, he has given me more than just once chance, and it would be a shame if I threw them away – and so I'm moving on, trying to make things good, one way or another, I'm moving on.' _

Yes, if only his other self hadn't been so mean – then surely this other Severus Snape could have seen that Harry Potter had not been his enemy, and maybe then this other Severus could have made things good. On the other hand – then maybe the teenager Harry Potter wouldn't have gone back in his timeline, and hadn't taken him from his father. Well, never mind what – he too had been given more than one chance from his dad, and he too would move on and try to make things good, one way or another.

Blinking he concentrated back to the present situation, to the box and the boy – who looked at the baby blanket with just as much large green eyes as he had looked at the pacifier.

Not that he used that pacifier the way it was meant to being used, no. He had not put it into his mouth but was holding it in his little fist, the comforter being enclosed by the little fingers. The moment the boy realized that he was looking, he quickly closed his eyes, pressing them close tightly so that wrinkles were seen on their corners and he nearly chuckled.

Leaning over he took the little arm, ignoring the startled flinch and the quickly opening eyes that looked at him startled, lifted the small arm and placed the baby blanket there before he placed the boy's arm atop the blanket.

Reaching in he pulled out a package with nappies and he sighed with relief. At least that was cared for now, he didn't have to think about wherefrom to get such things and with a frown he pulled one from the package, looking at it with a suffering sigh. Of course he knew how to put it on a baby, as a Potions Master he had an education as healer after all and that included a baby curse – and so he went over to the small child, lifting his eyebrow at the three year old that looked like a one and a half year old, and he sat down on the sofa.

"Very well – shall we get this over with now?" He asked, unable to keep his suffering from his voice entirely, gaining a quick nod of the child's head for it.

"Alright, lay on your back." He said, unfolding the nappy. He had refused dressing the child in the same old rags again, had simply covered the small thing with a soft and warm blanket, and so he now just had to put the nappy on the boy's behind, what he did, with surer movements than he had thought he would have – and then fixed the latches. Voilà, he had dressed his small son into nappies.

Frowning he blinked at the child, wondering if this really was correct, seeing that they seemed too large for the boy – but looking at the package it read – middle, 20-30lb – well – that was what should be correct for a child the age of eighteen months and that was what his son looked like, even though he was older.

"Well, I've managed your first nappy." He sighed, rather proud of himself. "Now, why don't you lay back down and – finally – try to sleep? You have a nappy, you have a baby blanket, you have a pacifier, and you've had something to eat and to drink. We've taken care of your injuries and your bruises – so, you should be able sleeping now."

Well, of course, the boy did, obeyed immediately, laying down on the sofa like before, curled into a tight ball, his back to the backrest and his eyes and fists pressed close tightly.

Looking into the box again he pulled out a baby bottle, again frowning, and like before he was just about to put it aside when he saw the big green eyes from his son, the boy never asking for something, but that made it so much worse to ignore it and with a sigh he went into the kitchen. He filled it with some of the warm herbal tea he had prepared this morning, but he didn't add the honey like he had done earlier when he had given it to the near-toddler – even though he had given him the tea from a cup and not in a bottle, but well – why not indulging the child for once? He knew that he'd have a hard time later, in breaking the habit – but well, for now he just couldn't resist the little imp.

Frowning he looked at the bottle before he went back to the living room and with another suffering sigh he reached the bottle at the child. The boy took it, just as hesitantly as he had taken the pacifier, the large green eyes clearly being scared, but the moment he had it he pulled it close to his chest.

He ignored it for now, and turned back to the box, looking through its contents, finding baby onesies, baby pyjamas, and other baby clothes – and a lot of other baby things like napkins and bed linen and toys.  
>Looking over at the child again, just to see if there was any kind of reaction to the toys – well, the boy was sleeping on the sofa, the teat of the bottle in his mouth where it belonged to instead of in his fist like with the pacifier.<p>

Well – by the end of the day he had a child laying on his sofa, a three year old boy that easily could go as an eighteen months old child, a child that had been denied anything and was now happily sleeping, a baby blanket in his arms, the comforter of a pacifier in his little fist and the teat of a bottle with tea in his mouth – and he knew, he would do anything to make this child happy, he would do anything to keep this child safe. This was what his dad had wanted from the beginning on, that he took care of that child if something happened to Lily, that he kept this child from his relatives, from his aunt and uncle. By the end of the day he finally had reached the point he should have been reaching years ago.

Breåk· … ·~†~*~*~*~*~*~†~· … ·Łine

**To be continued**

**Next time in By the end of the day**

_Will little Harry become younger than the three years he is now? And if not, then how will Severus cover it that he is not the child of Lythia Black and him?_

**Added author's note**

thank you for reading - and yes, I would be grateful if you took the time to review this chapter too … thank you …

**House Cup:**

At the present time it looks like this:

591 Points - Gryffindor

532 Points - Slytherin

462 Points - Ravenclaw

274 Points - Hufflepuff

* * *

><p><strong>September 13th, 2013<strong>

**Dear readers,**

just wish to inform you about another story – "… and sit a while with me …" – which will shortly start on the Profile of mrs. trabi here on fanfiction.

you will find some known persons in this story, and you will find one or another known incident in the story because the author of the story is me, even though I am posting this story not on my own profile but on my daughter's, and for several reasons so – one of it being because it's a rather unique story compared to my others.

more details you will learn while visiting mrs. trabi's profile:

www fanfiction net /u/2473886/mrs-trabi


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